How long do you wait for a man to get himself together?

[PhoenixRose360]

I learned that the hard way. I wasted my prime marriage/child bearing years on nicca's I should'nt have given the time of day because they were 'good guys' that I was giving the 'benefit of the doubt' and trying to 'work with'. I left my previous 2 relationships for the same reason, one after 3 yrs and the next after 5 yrs because I was ready to move on to the next phase in life and they weren't. After that you couldnt even look at me unless we were on the same page with the same goals and your ish was totally together. Thank goodness that's over, but I still regret the time I wasted.

I feel the same way, but I also believe everything happens for a reason. Unfortunately I had to go thru these relationships to understand what I truly want and deserve. I'm 35, dating and not giving up on love!!!

 

[sprungonhairboards]

Girl finally. But I would have liked to have found the 'one' 10 years ago too I finally found someone who meets all the requirements but my decisions and wasted time altered my life's plans in ways I can't change or go back and do over. For instance here I am 38 yrs old and JUST about to have my 1st child next month. I'll never have the 3 kids I always wanted. Probably not even 2.[/QUOTE]

Sprung don't count yourself out there's always hope.

Naw I'm cool I don't want kids back to back to back w/o having time to enjoy them each on their own and get adjusted and I ain't having kids at 45 . Timewise it probably just won't happen. But I'm cool at least I got my girl I always wanted.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

Yeah. You could be pregnant with twins a year from now. I read that as women approach a certain age they are more likely to have multiples.

Don't say that! The last thing I want is a 1 yr old AND newborn twins . I'd be a basketcase. I'm surprised this one wasn't twins. My sister has 2 sets of twins and she's only 31. No thank you I'll be satisfied with the 1 thank you very much.

 

[Triniwegian]

I didn't have it together and neither did my SO but it was because we were both fresh out of college.
I say, if you have it together you need to be with someone who has their stuff together.
If you are willing to work with someone then you need to set a realistic goal and be prepared to be on your own merry way if he doesn't uphold his part of the deal.

 

[fmnnity]

They need to be together when I get with them.

(I know, that didn't answer your question!)

In this case, he's not gonna get it together. If he owed CS five years ago AND was buying trucks, etc., that was a sign there that he had issues. Now, it's all gonna hit the fan... he's never was together and never is gonna be together.

ITA. They must come no assembly required.