He's just not that into you if.....

[mallysmommy]

I suck at men. I mean i totally haven't a clue when it comes to them. I'm always looking for signs and clues as to whats going on inside their heads when my answers are right infront of me, most of the time the answer is always as simiple as he was just not that into me.(yeah like the movie/book) Anywho, I'm up and cant sleep. Play along and share some of your expiriences on this subject

I realized he wasn't that into when:

I asked him what he was going to do that night and he responded with "nothing" only for me see his facebook status the next day talking about the "rocking night" he had last night.

He only called me at night.

He fell asleep on me.

He forgot my name.

I wont list them all of mine, if you have some post them

 

[meesch]

he cant seem to carry a conversation (he can; hes just not interested in having one with you)

he always expects you to go for whatever last minute

hes not excited to take you out places

he doesnt share any details of his life with you

he openly lies to you (this doesnt so much happen to me but it probably happens to others i.e. every guest on the cheating lie detector episodes of maury whose no good bf is not even trying to hide the fact that he is gross and also boning other women)

he doesnt want to sleep over and spend the night

he is too comfortable asking for things

he has never bought you anything (including and not including paying for dates)

 

[mallysmommy]

he always expects you to go for whatever last minute

hes not excited to take you out places

he doesnt want to sleep over and spend the night

he has never bought you anything

wooo girl. i can't definately attest to these. it took until the end of the "relationship" to figure out that dude was interested in me like that after he blatantly did these things. Im so slow lol.

 

[anoriginalpyt]

anytime you suggest getting together...his idea is a movie night-at either his place or yours

 

[ndidirod]

he waits for you to call.

 

[FearlessNik]

You always have to make the first move for coloring. And during the coloring acts you are the one doing all the giving (I learned that the hard way).

He openly talks about other women with you.

He never brings you out in public.

When someone comes by he either steps outside or asks you to hide.

Doesn't update his FB status and it still says he's looking for women (In SOME cases).

You find his profile still active on AFF, POF, and other sites.

He calls you out your name.

 

[mallysmommy]

He openly talks about other women with you.
Doesn't update his FB status and it still says he's looking for women (In SOME cases)..[/QUOTE]

i can attest to these. i was always hearing about how such and such was soo pretty and had a banging body. or he would always talk things that attracted him to women physically (ie big butts and stuff) and i looked NOTHING like the women.

i thought i was dating a guy or at least going steady with him only for him to make a status update talking about how he was still hunting women and looking for mrs. right.

 

[Writer100]

He never initial a telephone call, telegram, smoke signal. He wants you to call him.

He tells lies about his life - Yes I was a paratropper, firefighter, policeman and senator and next year I'm running for President of the Universe. I only live with my momma and daddy because they need me.

 

[Amerie2304]

He's just not that into you if...he doesn't approach you! I've realized this in light of some recent threads. Regardless of his body language/staring/googly eyes...if he's not approaching (for whatever reason), he's just not that into you!

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Duh comment:
He states to you that he doesn't like you

 

[mallysmommy]

He's just not that into you if...he doesn't approach you! I've realized this in light of some recent threads. Regardless of his body language/staring/googly eyes...if he's not approaching (for whatever reason), he's just not that into you!

dang true though.

 

[NYAmicas]

If you're doing all the chasing. I have to keep telling my friends that if a dude aint calling or checking for them like that then he's still shopping on the dating scene and not that serious about them.

 

[melissa-bee]

He doesn't check to see if you got home okay even if you left in the dead of the night.

He asks you for petrol money

He stores your friends number in his phone and then when you delete it it's there again the next week.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

He feels comfortable disrespecting you in public.

He only acts interested when he sees another man interested. Once the competition is gone so is he.

He does or says things that hurt you and when you bring it up he tells you that you are "being too sensitive."

Good one.

That has happened to me before....Oh how time and experience becomes the greatest teacher!

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

You know he's not that into you when....

-It feels like pulling teeth just to get a conversation going with him---SOME men are "shy", but usually they open up once you start talking with them----If a guy NEVER opens up much to you, then he's not "shy", he's not "socially retarted", he can talk alright...he's just not that interested in talking to YOU. Smh...I had to learn this the hard way...

-He NEVER initiates any calls to you....

-You find that you are doing most of the calling and texting

-You have to wonder whether or not he's into you

-He feels free talking about other women in your presence

-He starts to act funny, become a little distant, or outright IGNORES you when you're out and another girl in your group of "friends" is in your midst (chances are...he's really interested in HER more, and therefore he doesn't know how to act when you both are in the same vicinity )

-He blatantly flirts with another girl in front of you

-You're always asking HIM questions and he never asks you questions to try to get to know you (had to learn this the hard way! )

-He doesn't make it a point to be around you

-He has a hard time keeping his word

-He cancels out on dates with you, and doesn't offer to reschedule for another time

-He doesn't introduce you to his family, close friends, or other important people in his life

-He doesn't seem all that worried about putting his best foot forward or making a good "impression" on you

-He doesn't go out of his way to treat you nicely or take you out to nice places

-If you two have an argument, YOU'RE usually the first one to reach out to him and apologize or try to make up. He could give you the "silent treatment" forever, and doesn't seem too eager to "make up" or apologize

-He's always taking taking taking...and hardly ever giving

-He puts you down.....sometimes subtly....other times, not-so subtly.

-You never quite feel "safe" and secure in your relationship w/him. You're always wondering where you stand

-He doesn't ask for your number

-He's never there when you need him

-You twist yourself into a pretzel trying to figure out if he's "just shy" or needs some "encouragement" in order to come up to talk to you or ask you out.

-You catch him staring at you, but he never makes a move and comes up to actually TALK to you




I could go on and on for days...lol...

 

[belleama]

He feels comfortable disrespecting you in public.

He only acts interested when he sees another man interested. Once the competition is gone so is he.

He does or says things that hurt you and when you bring it up he tells you that you are "being too sensitive."

 

[Lenee925]

He doesn't check to see if you got home okay even if you left in the dead of the night.

He asks you for petrol money

He stores your friends number in his phone and then when you delete it it's there again the next week.

Dannnggg

I know petrol=gas (U.S.) it was just 3X funnier to read "petrol"!

 

[mallysmommy]

You know he's not that into you when....

-He NEVER initiates any calls to you....

-You find that you are doing most of the calling and texting

-You have to wonder whether or not he's into you

-He feels free talking about other women in your presence

-You're always asking HIM questions and he never asks you questions to try to get to know you (had to learn this the hard way! )

-He doesn't make it a point to be around you

-If you two have an argument, YOU'RE usually the first one to reach out to him and apologize or try to make up. He could give you the "silent treatment" forever, and doesn't seem too eager to "make up" or apologize

-He's always taking taking taking...and hardly ever giving

-He puts you down.....sometimes subtly....other times, not-so subtly.

-You never quite feel "safe" and secure in your relationship w/him. You're always wondering where you stand

well lets see check check and check to all of the above smh i need to let him go

thanks everyone for the replies!

 

[Napp]

this thread is such a reality check! so much of this occurred during my very few romantic experiences

now i know better and im not going to waste my time

 

[LoveBeautyKisses]

Bumping I'm loving this thread so far trying to see if I can cast out this demon lol

 

[DarkJoy]

...if on the first date he wants you to go out your way to see him and not come see you
...if he keeps throwing in sexual innuendo into conversation even after you say you're not ready for that kind of talk yet
...if it takes him more than a day to return a call/text/message and gives some flimsy excuse
...if in conversation he compares you to his Ex'es
...if you catch his eyes wandering to other women as they pass by

 

[ZapMami]

he has never bought you anything (including and not including paying for dates)

I use to think that it wasn't necessary for men to treat me to a nice evening out or buy me gifts. It took my pastor to put it into perspective for me.

He says For Where your treasure is, there also is your heart. You can tell what a person loves by looking at their bank statement. Think about it...if you don't get it, just look at your bank statement.

So he always tells people (men especially) if you say you love someone, but you cant picture handing over your wallet to them, you lying, you don't love them. LOL.He has a story he tells pertaining to how he treated other women, until he met his wife. She totally changed the game.

 

[sweetvi]

He only texts or calls you At night

Spends the night then you won't hear from him for several days

Won't text or acknowledge you for holidays such as Valentine's or independence day

Ask to borrow large amounts of money knowing full well he won't repay you

Talks about other women in front of you


Eta: this happen to my friend. Haha

 

[LivingInPeace]

If you have to ask, he's not interested.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

If you have to ask, he's not interested.

AB200
And this is basically it in a nutshell unfortunately. erplexed

I had to learn this the hard way, but this simple statement is so true.

When I look back to other guys who I KNEW were interested in me (some of whom I just wasn't into ), I NEVER "questioned" whether or not they were interested in me. I just KNEW. It was so OBVIOUS! It wasn't like they were hiding it lol..

Men are simple ladies. I think the sooner we realize this the better. He may be "shy" at first, but if he's REALLY interested, he will eventually make a move. Even if he's fumbling over his words and can't make out two sentences, you will know that he's interested. If not by him....then by his friends.

After one experience in particular, I've now figured out that if I ever have to "wonder" about a guy and his interest in me, it's probably best to err on the side of caution and ASSUME that he's NOT interested...and who knows?? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised in the future. But in the meatime, I'm not going to worry my pretty little head about it until I've heard otherwise, either from him directly OR from people close to him.

 

[LoveBeautyKisses]

He doesn't show initiative

 

[Babysaffy]

...like others have said if you have to wonder.

 

[lady_godiva]

When he flirts with you and tells you to call him, but doesn't give you his number.

When you are calling him, texting, emailing him more than he is doing these same things for you.

When you make more of an effort to see him than he does to see you.

 

[Bublin]

...if on the first date he wants you to go out your way to see him and not come see you
...if he keeps throwing in sexual innuendo into conversation even after you say you're not ready for that kind of talk yet
...if it takes him more than a day to return a call/text/message and gives some flimsy excuse
...if in conversation he compares you to his Ex'es
...if you catch his eyes wandering to other women as they pass by

Guilty as charged. I did that today. Some fine black men in sharp suits in the city of London whilst I was walking with Mr bald, unattractive, white, fat belly man . The guys were checking me out....and probably thinking what da hell I was doing with him. Still he had a lovely personality.
Imma go back there on my own

 

[carcajada]

If he's always late.