He's Just That Into You...

All you *****s:look: wanna sit around and complain about no good men.

Well here's a chance to tell us about the good thats happening in your life for a change.:yep:

and don't you worry when I have my story i'll be sure to post :lachen:

come on MORE STORIES :grin:
 
danibeeja_gyal said:
All you *****s:look: wanna sit around and complain about no good men.

Well here's a chance to tell us about the good thats happening in your life for a change.:yep:

and don't you worry when I have my story i'll be sure to post :lachen:

come on MORE STORIES :grin:
Click to expand...

:giggle:

Well.... I don't technically have a man right now unfortunately...so I didn't feel like I had the right to comment.

But I guess since this thread is about knowing the signs of when a man IS into you, I suppose I can answer based on past experiences. Can I?? :look:

I'll base these answers on one guy in particular, but it pretty much goes for every guy that I know has been interested in me.

his METHODS: He was always just a friend to me, but the more time went by, the more and more he started to act MORE than just a friend. He would always text me or keep in touch w/me somehow. He would notice when I was missing (we were in an environment where we saw each other every week), he would ask how I was doing, he would always laugh at my jokes, and just seemed genuinely happy to see me. :yep:

his TRUE INTENTIONS: This guy genuinely wanted a relationship with me. He didn't have his act together at the time, but he didn't allow that to prevent him from pursuing me or getting to know me better.


what CLUED me in: He was always SUPER nice to me, and usually he's kind of sarcastic w/other people. He wasn't always the nicest guy around (especially in the past), but he changed a LOT over the years and always treated me w/nothing but respect. He would tease me playfully, and would make little comments that let me know that he didn't want to really offend me or make me mad. I noticed that his comments started to get more and more "mushy" lol. Like, he would tell me how smart he thought I was, and how great I was, and how I looked nice. He started complimenting my physical appearance more (in a classy respectful way) to the point where it would make me blush! :blush: :eyebrows2 When he finally confessed his interest in me and we agreed to get to know each other better, he would ALWAYS keep in touch w/me everyday either through e-mail, text, phone, in person, etc. I don't think there was a day where he would go without at least e-mailing me while at work. :) He would buy me romantic gifts (ie. red roses), and wouldn't mind me borrowing his stuff. In fact he would insist! lol


Did I EXPECT it: Heck no! Not at all! I just saw him as a friend honestly. I mean, I did notice that he was REALLY nice to me, but I just thought he was trying to be a better man...or be a nice person in general. I guess I did have a little feeling as time went by and he kept on saying these mushy compliments. lol

What did I learn: The most IMPORTANT thing that I learned was that when a man is really INTERESTED in a woman, SHE.WILL.KNOW.EVENTUALLY. :yep: There won't be any guessing games, no trying to "figure him out", no playing games, no up and down rollercoasters of emotions. He will want to come straight and correct w/her (especially if she confronts him on it) because he will WANT her to know his interest so that he can figure out if she's interested back. Plus, I learned that when a man is truly interested in me, he will want to KNOW me. He will want to "figure ME out". He will ask me questions to draw me out, and get to know ME. The conversation won't seem one-sided. I also learned from experience that every guy who has genuinely been interested in me, and has been available to pursue a relationship w/me will CALL me. Or at least text me in the early stages. He'll want to see me, he'll want to make time for me, etc... He won't be "too busy" to see me....he'll be EXCITED to be with me, and even if he really can't make the time that particular day, he will go out of his way to suggest another time to meet or talk or whatever. It's just so EASY when the man is genuinely interested in you. Sure, you two may have disagreements from time to time, but overall you two are cool together. You're not crying at night or feeling any drama. It's perfectly "easy". ;)
 
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his METHODS: He always asked about me when I wasn't around & made it his business to speak to me when we crossed paths. He was too attentive & tried to develop relationships with my family to get closer to me. He told a majority of our common friends & associates that he had feelings for me & there was something blossoming between the two of us. He constantly attempted to invite himself to my house, popped up whenever he knew I'd be somewhere & asked me out continuously despite the fact that I'd always decline. When I flat out old him I wasn't interested he backed off until I started developing a friendship with another guy.


his TRUE INTENTIONS: He wanted to make me his girlfriend. He made up in his mind I was his & attempted to pester me into dating him. When I made it clear I was TOTALLY uninterested he fell back for a while until a new guy started chatting me up. Then he started acting a plum fool. He did all he could to slander my name, he became rude, vindictive, and childish. He tries to run any man who attempts to interact with me away.


what CLUED me in: We never dated, but he told random people we had something going on. When I let him know I wasn't feeling him the first time he tried to become best friends with my mom & brother; he dropped hints that he wanted me like crazy & tried to get them to vouch for him. He never let down & the more I pushed him away, the more he tried to force himself upon me


Did I EXPECT it: I knew he had issues but I didn't expect him to become stalker like nor did I think he was so immature that he'd try and chase away any dude that interacted with me by speaking negatively about me & blocking when the chance arose.


What Did I Learn: You really can't be nice to everyone...



 
Ok Ladies, Help figure this out.....

His methods..He is super attentive, super nice and always pray for me... He hold the door for me, and try to serve my every wish... so far so good.. I was laid off a few months ago.. and without me asking he said... I dont want you to worry about anything, take your time and get your head together.. I am here for you.. I will take care ALL of the household bills. and he has been true to his word..He gives until he has nothing.. But he says I am not his girlfriend and he can't say I LOVE YOU... This man is overseas and doesn't have to do anything for me or my family... but he does give a significant part of his check each month and calls weekly just to see if I need anything and if everything is ok..

His Intention???????? We have discussed relationships and he avoids saying if he is committed to me... He actons says he loves me.. but he talks a diffrent talk

What clued me in I am still gathering data... He seems perfect but????

Did I expect it.. I suppect he truly cares about me...But is afraid to commit.. He is older never married and no kids... I have 2 daughters and dont want any more... I know thats a factor

What did I learn.... A man doesn't have to say he loves you... to Love you

What you think????????????
 
mlj said:
Ok Ladies, Help figure this out.....

His methods..He is super attentive, super nice and always pray for me... He hold the door for me, and try to serve my every wish... so far so good.. I was laid off a few months ago.. and without me asking he said... I dont want you to worry about anything, take your time and get your head together.. I am here for you.. I will take care ALL of the household bills. and he has been true to his word..He gives until he has nothing.. But he says I am not his girlfriend and he can't say I LOVE YOU... This man is overseas and doesn't have to do anything for me or my family... but he does give a significant part of his check each month and calls weekly just to see if I need anything and if everything is ok..

His Intention???????? We have discussed relationships and he avoids saying if he is committed to me... He actons says he loves me.. but he talks a diffrent talk

What clued me in I am still gathering data... He seems perfect but????

Did I expect it.. I suppect he truly cares about me...But is afraid to commit.. He is older never married and no kids... I have 2 daughters and dont want any more... I know thats a factor

What did I learn.... A man doesn't have to say he loves you... to Love you

What you think????????????
Click to expand...

This one is tricky, but I agree that he sounds leery of comittment. Beyond that it's obvious that he cares about you, but the question is, in what manner?

One thing that I'm learning is that if a man wants to settle down he will without hesitation or game playing. Maybe he's most comfortable with just pursuing a friendship at this time.

I hope things work out for you dear !!!
 
his METHODS:He saw me at a bar and claims that he couldn't leave that bar without talking to me first

his INTENTIONS: Him and I have a bit of a history. This is the second time around that I'm dating him and the first time, he was a bit of a "player". Although to this day he says that he's always liked me, his motives were different the first time around. When we reconnected (which I did not make easy for him), he had every intention to make me his girlfriend

what clued me in The first time around, he was a true charmer. This man would tell you everything you wanted to hear but his goal was not to make me his one and only. The second time around, I could tell that every compliment and basically every exchange between him and I was genuine. He had begun to confide in me more and more until he started telling me things that he had never told anyone before. He paid more attention to me and his goal was to make me happy. His friends and family knew about me before I met them and when they eventually met me, they would tell me how much this man would talk about me. He told me that he loved me a couple months after we started dating again and I told him that I was not ready to say those words back to him. Even though I was not able to say 'I love you' until I was honestly sure of where our relationship was going, he told me he loved me every day and did not expect anything out of me. He still reminds me to this day how much he loves me but I can honestly say that his actions are the ones that speak to me more than his words and show me who loved I am by him.

Did I Expect It? You know, I never thought he would be the man he is today. It proves that people can change. He hurt me pretty bad the first time and normally I wouldn't have given him a second chance. But something told me that I should just go for it the second time. I didn't make it easy for him but he won my heart in the end.

What Did I Learn? I learned so much from this relationship. I can probably write a dissertation on the things that I've learned but here are some of the bigger life lessons I got from our relationship:

*Love yourself first before loving anyone else
*Trust your gut
*Communication is key to a lasting relationship
 
For my current boyfriend:

his METHODS: When we first met, he acted like a hopeful little puppy! Lol, whenever I glanced in his direction, he perked up and started smiling at me (I swear, if he had a tail it would have been wagging). After a few minutes of that, he came over to me and introduced himself.


his TRUE INTENTIONS: He was looking for a serious relationship.


what CLUED me in: He was extremely affectionate from the beginning, while still having a lot of respect for my own personal boundaries. Anything that made me uncomfortable, he never tried again. He also never seemed to notice any other women in the area besides me. He never let me take public transportation home after dates, he always drove me, walked me to the door, and waited until I was indoors to drive off. He sent flowers to my house for no reason at all, and took me to meet his family before I even asked.


Did I EXPECT it: All the signs were there, but it was somehow still a surprise :)


What I learned: That chivalry isn't dead :)
 
his METHODS: We were casual acquaintances for about a year, and then took a trip together with friends and hit it off. He started finding ways to touch my arm or talk to me or dance with me to keep me from flirting with other guys, lol. My friend kept trying to persuade him to move things along but he said "he didn't want a random hookup" he wanted to "get to know me" and remained respectful the entire trip. After we got back, he said he wanted to continue to hang out and actually followed up with a "real date" a few days later. This was about a month ago. We've been dating ever since.


his TRUE INTENTIONS: The verdict's still out, but he is very genuine and forthcoming and keeps to his word. He also has remained extremely respectful and has never tried to do more than kiss or cuddle and we've been out together at least a dozen times. I think we're both open to whatever happens but are taking things slow.


what CLUED me in: We talk all day on gchat, he calls regularly, we make plans and have real dates (dinners, movies, mini-golf, concerts). I've met his friends, his mom, and have been to his job. He actually courts me. I don't have to try with him - I am at ease being myself (I didn't have to follow any special rules or feel like I needed advice after every move). And he thinks I'm hilarious.


Did I EXPECT it: Not even a little bit - most men I've met here stop trying after Date #3...it's so refreshing; I kinda like this one :yep:
 
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I'm not sposed to be posting! or even on here...
but
in almost the third month of a dating relationship
that while it has challenges...for sure...but still close to blissful...
he deletes his online dating profile and brags to you that he did it

and as you hear him laugh at your reaction...you also hear he's delighted that he's made you happpy with this one step toward something more potential
you hear he delights in making you happy
and you realize by his doing it ...you never even asked him to
delete the profile

or....he's about do a presentation with other doctorates at the Graduate Center
he's been there all day and he's exhausted and drained
and you are texting a fight...he texts he can't talk now and you ignore that
not knowing he's just about to address his colleagues

instead of turning off his phone or your texts as he has every legit right to do under the circumstances and then...he could explain later..also legit...

Instead he excuses himself to make a call to passionately deal with one highstrung type A high maintenance woman{moi}
and to explain why the fight is unnecesary ..and reassures me
though he IS completely beyond pissed..and then informs me ....that he's due to give a talk.... NOW...

and later at dinner though he's till mad ...he can't stop blushing looking at you
and when he kisses you...he doesn't want to stop in spite of the fact you were a big
pain in the ***

his actions tell you ....you are priority and you matter
and he desires you mucho even after non-sense
 
DivineNapps1728 said:
#4

his METHODS: He's kind and respectful. He takes time to talk to me and listens to my views; he looks genuinely interested in whatever I say even if I'm not speaking directly to him. He consoled me when I was upset and made it his business to check on me periodically. He compliments me. He finds non-sleazy ways to make physical contact (brushing shoulders, light bumps & nudges, intricate handshakes I don't know how to do :giggle:)


his TRUE INTENTIONS: ???


what CLUED me in: He interacts with me, but doesn't have to


Did I EXPECT it: n/a


I'll update this as more things progress :yep:
Click to expand...


#4 part two

his METHODS: He's honest & open. He's terribly in-tune with my emotions & if he senses there's something wrong he addresses it. When he talks to me it's as if he'd rather be doing nothing else & he takes ample time to just chill with me, no games, no glitz, no funny business. He tells me he's interested & shows that he's interested without being sleazy. He says he wants to be there for me, that he has my back & even though I'm apprehensive...I believe him.


his TRUE INTENTIONS: He's mentioned that he plans to court his next girlfriend & doesn't take relationships lightly. I know he's looking for the one, I'm just not sure if I'm a potential candidate.


what CLUED me in: He's taking time to get to know me, doesn't flake out when I cut up & he puts in work to keep me happy. He prays for & with me.


Did I EXPECT it: I dunno what I'm expecting right now, but I admit I've never felt so comfortable with any man from the jump. I can be myself 100% and he appreciates all of me despite my flaws. We have much in common, but many unique qualities as well; he makes me want to be a better woman & he's teaching me that some men can be trusted with my heart. I feel like I'll be okay with whatever becomes of us, I'm just happy to have met him.
 
kayte said:
his actions tell you ....you are priority and you matter
and he desires you mucho even after non-sense
Click to expand...


This is something I find remarkable about my friend; it's amazing to feel like more than an option to someone with no need to compete to hold such title.
 
Okay here's one blast from my past

his METHODS: He was very charismatic, and outgoing--he loved trying new things and this really intrigued me. He even invited me to church with him and that was like the topping on the cake.


his TRUE INTENTIONS: He was just looking for someone to leech off of b/c he was constantly asking me to come over and make him home cooked meal or to have his silly little functions by me b/c there was ample space.


what CLUED me in: He started pulling these disappearings acts and I just couldn't figure why. At first he was supposedly trying to leave a relationship (and that was his only pass) but it happened too frequently. Also he was constantly vague with certain things--but all things in the dark come to light and he had no choice but to come clean.


Did I EXPECT it: When he claimed to be going through is with his ex, I didn't expect it he just knew the right things to say. But when other occurences came up, I realized he didn't have good intentions and made sure to drop him like a hot potato.
 
DivineNapps1728 said:
#4 part two

his METHODS: He's honest & open. He's terribly in-tune with my emotions & if he senses there's something wrong he addresses it. When he talks to me it's as if he'd rather be doing nothing else & he takes ample time to just chill with me, no games, no glitz, no funny business. He tells me he's interested & shows that he's interested without being sleazy. He says he wants to be there for me, that he has my back & even though I'm apprehensive...I believe him.


his TRUE INTENTIONS: He's mentioned that he plans to court his next girlfriend & doesn't take relationships lightly. I know he's looking for the one, I'm just not sure if I'm a potential candidate.


what CLUED me in: He's taking time to get to know me, doesn't flake out when I cut up & he puts in work to keep me happy. He prays for & with me.


Did I EXPECT it: I dunno what I'm expecting right now, but I admit I've never felt so comfortable with any man from the jump. I can be myself 100% and he appreciates all of me despite my flaws. We have much in common, but many unique qualities as well; he makes me want to be a better woman & he's teaching me that some men can be trusted with my heart. I feel like I'll be okay with whatever becomes of us, I'm just happy to have met him.
Click to expand...

part three

My friend is now my boyfriend !! :grin:

his METHODS: He followed through on everything he said; his actions & words matched up consistently.

his TRUE INTENTIONS: He's looking for a wife, not a fling or a playmate; he sees potential in me & and wants to explore the connection we have.

what CLUED me in: He asked me to be his girlfriend & hasn't changed since he caught me.

Did I EXPECT it: I haven't been in an exclusive relationship in a while so the experience is quite novel, but I'm loving every second of it. Things with him are just sooooo comfortable :yep:
 
Good morning Ladies,

As usual I've only read page 1, and DivineNapps this is a great thread but "Your" posts seem to follow the line of "He's Just NOT That Into You" instead of your inteneded "He's Just That Into You".

I do hope you find the one(s) that are Just That Into You.
 
Ivonnovi said:
Good morning Ladies,

As usual I've only read page 1, and DivineNapps this is a great thread but "Your" posts seem to follow the line of "He's Just NOT That Into You" instead of your inteneded "He's Just That Into You".

I do hope you find the one(s) that are Just That Into You.
Click to expand...


I apologize if I confused you, but I'll try my best to clarify. This thread allows women to outline how men have shown interest in them, however, just because a man is interested doesn't mean he has pure intentions, that both parties are on the same page or that the union will result in a happy ending. My hope was that if someone wrote what lengths a man went to, to woo them & what they later found his true motives to be we could start to see a pattern between a man's actions & his purpose thus learning a thing or two from others' experiences.

I admit the product of most of my entries wasn't a lifelong love affair, but alas, the men I spoke about did indeed attempt to gain my affection, it's just that a point came where I couldn't return it.
 
OK, now I get it. And you are right, we can all indeed learn a thing or to from the experiences posted, good or bad.

DivineNapps1728 said:
I apologize if I confused you, but I'll try my best to clarify. This thread allows women to outline how men have shown interest in them, however, just because a man is interested doesn't mean he has pure intentions, that both parties are on the same page or that the union will result in a happy ending. My hope was that if someone wrote what lengths a man went to, to woo them & what they later found his true motives to be we could start to see a pattern between a man's actions & his purpose thus learning a thing or two from others' experiences.

I admit the product of most of my entries wasn't a lifelong love affair, but alas, the men I spoke about did indeed attempt to gain my affection, it's just that a point came where I couldn't return it.
Click to expand...
 
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