Same old shyt, different day. We worked for the same company. He pursued me relentlessly for a while. He was SO sweet at first. He flew me to his city, wined and dined me (and I told him I was looking for friendship) and was such a gentleman. He came to my city the following month and we did the expensive date the first night, then had the cheap, chill at home date the next... was still a gentleman. Didn't mind sleeping in the other room. Over the next few months, he and I went on a mixture of dates... chilled at the crib sometimes and did it up big at other times. He didn't even try to kiss me until three months in. We would talk until 4 AM. He would hold my hand, open doors for me, introduce me to his fellow coaches, cook me dinner... all while still being the gentleman. By month 4, we would sleep in the same bed, but he would just hold me. Finally, in month 5, he came to a 5K I was running and met the fam. Everyone loved him, and he told me he was proud of me. He was so supportive and kind... I broke down and took it to the physical level that night. We then went on vacation together two weeks later. It was beautiful. People were asking us if we were on our honeymoon he was so attentive and sweet. When we got back, I felt a little change, but I tried to ignore it. About a month later, he came to see me for Christmas and the whole weekend was just... awkward. I tried to talk about it, and he just shut down on me. Then he stopped calling. Three days after that, he lost his job. We have had one phone conversation since then where he told me he was having a hard time dealing with the job loss and I have tried my hardest to be supportive, but he has has no real contact with me since then. I know this is long, but I just can't understand how a guy can go from sugar to shyt that quickly.
I can understand the difficulty with the job loss, but I don't understand the cutting me out of his life. My only deduction is that He's Just Not that into me. It hurts like he**.
I loved the book...He's just not that into you
I loved Greg's whatever his last name is... short-lived talk show
& I imagine the movie He's just not that into You
was all THAT
and I'm sure the sequel in which ever form it takes....
of He's Just not that into You..
I guess breakfast cereal and running sneakers are next
& will surpass all prior commercial mutations
but personally.....that dang phrase
has become like
OP the abrupt departure sounds like panic over financial
matters... he's got a child or children? What an unfortunate coincidence
it came at the same time there was the decision to be physically intimate.
It can be hard for single women to understand sometimes
and I speak as a single woman who has dated men with
children in the range of the financial spectrum and..it was hard for me to grasp
the hard realities & emotional responsbilties of raising a child and coming up with child support when the wallet is hit..that's a real blow to a man's ego...some of them have shame about it particularly if he HAS wined/dined you
The history with the two of you sounds beautiful! and it sounds like he was so into you.
It doesn't seem it was a scheme to take advantage
If I were you I would enjoy my life ...have your feelings...sad ..angry...confused..
but as others have said ..leave him out of that
he's not available for you to process through and come to resolution ...
at least not right now
he kind of told you..... by not telling you
you are entitled to move on
move on to someone else who has the courage to communicate
what's truly going on and not disappear
or if your heart is soft and he comes back with proper explanation
if he comes crawling back begging forgivness
that's what I told my ex
then that's another option
but please do not compound this by punishing yourself
w/ that horrid catch all generic phrase we women
seem to be fond of using these days
unless
you are writing a commercial for the sequel with a hefty advance
you are a gem! and even if was for a little while
his behavior underscored that..then know though it
does take two, sounds like the fail had more to do with him
((((((((((smiles & hugs))))))))
Don't feel bad about 'giving it up' then being dropped. I do not think he was the sweet guy he was to you just to get it and then run. The man may be going through 'whatever' right now{you know men are crazy critters}..just let it go for now. No nasty notes, no "You used me" phone calls. Live your life..if it is meant to be it'll be.
