londontresses
Well-Known Member
You find yourself making excuses, filling in gaps, lying about and 'explaining' away his behaviour to yourself and others.
He's Not That Into You When...
- Thread starter Syrah
- Start date
renren
New Member
when he doesnt reply to your text messages
when you find yourself making excuses for the reasons he hasnt replied to your messages
when you talk really well online but in person he acts like he doesnt know you
when he doesnt give you any attention or is completely distracted when talking to you and doesnt really care to keep the conversation going
when he says hes sooo attracted to you an you are soo pretty blah blah blah but wudnt even keep a convo. goin long enough for you to get to know each other
when conversations are only interesting to him when your are flirting. Anything else about your life/day is not important
when he doesnt care about impressing you
urgh!!!! ive been so dumb!!
when you find yourself making excuses for the reasons he hasnt replied to your messages
when you talk really well online but in person he acts like he doesnt know you
when he doesnt give you any attention or is completely distracted when talking to you and doesnt really care to keep the conversation going
when he says hes sooo attracted to you an you are soo pretty blah blah blah but wudnt even keep a convo. goin long enough for you to get to know each other
when conversations are only interesting to him when your are flirting. Anything else about your life/day is not important
when he doesnt care about impressing you
urgh!!!! ive been so dumb!!
Keshieshimmer
Active Member
BrownSkin2
Well-Known Member
He asks YOU out to dinner, but when the bill comes he asks where's your credit card...
weaveadiva
Well-Known Member
...he tells you
i don't know how many times i've seen a man specifically say "i don't feel that way about you" et al. but the woman refuses to believe him or thinks she can change his mind
closely related to:
"i'm not looking/ready for a relationship"
"it's not you, it's me"
i don't know how many times i've seen a man specifically say "i don't feel that way about you" et al. but the woman refuses to believe him or thinks she can change his mind
closely related to:
"i'm not looking/ready for a relationship"
"it's not you, it's me"
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
You're home waiting for him and he's out on dates. LOL
CarLiTa
Well-Known Member
when, as he's holding your hand telling you how much he just loves being around you, wants to spend as much time as possible with you over the upcoming months going on all these dates, etc, going on and on... you say: should i stop dating other people?
He hesitates and says: I can't ask you that... you will know what to do...
I should have run.
He hesitates and says: I can't ask you that... you will know what to do...
I should have run.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
In my personal experience, I've found that a guy is just not into me when.....
I'm usually the one initiating contact/dates/get-togethers
If I'm "wondering" whether a guy is into me or not or if I'm expending energy trying to "figure him out", then 9 times out of 10 he's just NOT into me. When it's a guy who's truly into me, I don't even wonder. I don't even have TIME to wonder lol! He's so busy calling me, texting me, trying to get to know me and inviting me places that it's usually pretty obvious that he's interested.
He doesn't expend any effort in the relationship
He barely (if ever) tries to ask me questions or get to know me on a deeper level. Even dorky shy guys will ask some dorky questions just to get to talk to you and know you better!
He shows me disrespect (This is big!). A guy would never dream of doing that to his dream girl.
He only wants to see you in the night owl hours. You two never seem to spend time together out in the daylight
He doesn't invite you and introduce you to his mom/friends/family members
He cancels dates at the last minute with weak excuses
Smh.....boy what a fool I was back then!
Thank goodness I know better now!
This thread started making me feel somewhat down and depressed, so I have to counteract the bad with the good.
Signs that he IS Into You!:
He calls you alllll the time. Not a day goes by where he's not contacting you through phone, text, email, face to face contact, etc.
He gladly invites you to be around his circle of friends and family
He thinks you're "perfect" just the way you are....flaws and all! Even your so called flaws are endearing to him.
He's usually the one to initiate contact and dates
He doesn't "dissapear" outbid thin air and then weeks (or months!) later try to "reconnect".
You don't feel like you have to "be" anyone else other than yourself, and you don't even feel like you need to "do" anything in order to get and keep his attention.
He wants to marry you
He's willing to go out of his way in order to impress you or make you happy
You don't "wonder" where you stand with him or how he feels about you. You just "know". You feel very secure in your relationship with him
When you're around , he doesn't even notice other women in the room.
You never ask yourself whether he's "into" you or not.
He doesn't make you cry or give you feelings of torture/anguish/heartbreak causing you to cry yourself to sleep.
I'm usually the one initiating contact/dates/get-togethers
If I'm "wondering" whether a guy is into me or not or if I'm expending energy trying to "figure him out", then 9 times out of 10 he's just NOT into me. When it's a guy who's truly into me, I don't even wonder. I don't even have TIME to wonder lol! He's so busy calling me, texting me, trying to get to know me and inviting me places that it's usually pretty obvious that he's interested.
He doesn't expend any effort in the relationship
He barely (if ever) tries to ask me questions or get to know me on a deeper level. Even dorky shy guys will ask some dorky questions just to get to talk to you and know you better!
He shows me disrespect (This is big!). A guy would never dream of doing that to his dream girl.
He only wants to see you in the night owl hours. You two never seem to spend time together out in the daylight
He doesn't invite you and introduce you to his mom/friends/family members
He cancels dates at the last minute with weak excuses
Smh.....boy what a fool I was back then!
Thank goodness I know better now! This thread started making me feel somewhat down and depressed, so I have to counteract the bad with the good.
Signs that he IS Into You!:
He calls you alllll the time. Not a day goes by where he's not contacting you through phone, text, email, face to face contact, etc.
He gladly invites you to be around his circle of friends and family
He thinks you're "perfect" just the way you are....flaws and all! Even your so called flaws are endearing to him.
He's usually the one to initiate contact and dates
He doesn't "dissapear" outbid thin air and then weeks (or months!) later try to "reconnect".
You don't feel like you have to "be" anyone else other than yourself, and you don't even feel like you need to "do" anything in order to get and keep his attention.
He wants to marry you
He's willing to go out of his way in order to impress you or make you happy
You don't "wonder" where you stand with him or how he feels about you. You just "know". You feel very secure in your relationship with him
When you're around , he doesn't even notice other women in the room.
You never ask yourself whether he's "into" you or not.
He doesn't make you cry or give you feelings of torture/anguish/heartbreak causing you to cry yourself to sleep.
Last edited:
kittikat24
New Member
^^Thanks Crystalicequeen123 --That list of positives was just what I needed to hear!
Also, I'm loving this thread, hopefully it'll inspire us to watch out and wise up w/ future relationships. I know I've gotten so caught up in the past, seeing things through rose-coloured glasses....
Also, I'm loving this thread, hopefully it'll inspire us to watch out and wise up w/ future relationships. I know I've gotten so caught up in the past, seeing things through rose-coloured glasses....
VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
You've been with the fool 5,7'9 years and still don't have a ring and firm commitment. He ain't gonna marry you boo. Men are quick to lock you down if they want you and it doesn't take years.
Goombay_Summer
Well-Known Member
He is not into you when after he is incarcerated he suddenly discovers that he is madly and passionately in love with you and admits to having mistreated you and ignoring you in the past, (He is trying to have a hot and heavy affair with your wallet).
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
kittikat24;13585835[B said:
Yea girl...
No problem. You know, sometimes we can get so caught up in the "he's not that into you" / negative mantra, that we almost forget to remember the "signs" that show when a guy truly IS into us!! 
But all of this information is definitely good for people who are in a situation (or have ever been in a situation) where the guy wasn't/isn't really into them, but they're still holding out hope or "wondering" what is up with the guy.
Sometimes the truth hurts.
curlcomplexity
formerly qtslim83
ITA about this one!
When the only compliments he gives you are based on your looks.
When he doesn't take the time to get to know you, only says how great you two look together.
^^I was with my cousin and this dj she was talking to, he was so colorstruck and focused on her looks, like how pretty she is, and how she should identify as 'other'...and how great they look together...he wasn't into her, he was into how she would look on his arm...it's funny she said she is a really mean person and he said he would 'learn to deal with it' lmao
When he doesn't take the time to get to know you, only says how great you two look together.
^^I was with my cousin and this dj she was talking to, he was so colorstruck and focused on her looks, like how pretty she is, and how she should identify as 'other'...and how great they look together...he wasn't into her, he was into how she would look on his arm...it's funny she said she is a really mean person and he said he would 'learn to deal with it' lmao
Last edited:
MissMasala5
New Member
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
When in private he treats you one way, but when you're both at the same event/party/venue, etc. and OTHER GIRLS are around, he acts like he doesn't really know you...... 
In my experience, a guy who is truly "INTO" you won't go "hot and cold" on you all the time. He'll ALWAYS greet you and act like he knows you...especially if you two have a "thing" going on together. He won't ignore you or pretend like he doesn't know you when you two happen to be at the same place at the same time.
In my experience, a guy who is truly "INTO" you won't go "hot and cold" on you all the time. He'll ALWAYS greet you and act like he knows you...especially if you two have a "thing" going on together. He won't ignore you or pretend like he doesn't know you when you two happen to be at the same place at the same time.
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
When all he can do is whisper sweet sweet words in your ear but can't back them up with actions. Actions speak louder than words!
When he refuses to take you out on a real date where y'all have to spend money and insists on house dates because it's cheaper, yes he's really just trying to sleep with you.
When he pretends that he is this 'deep' person but it's not apparent in his behavior.
When he won't shut up about his exes and how she did this or that better.
When he doesn't know your last name but asks you for money.
When he refuses to take you out on a real date where y'all have to spend money and insists on house dates because it's cheaper, yes he's really just trying to sleep with you.
When he pretends that he is this 'deep' person but it's not apparent in his behavior.
When he won't shut up about his exes and how she did this or that better.
When he doesn't know your last name but asks you for money.
Last edited:
LadyPaniolo
New Member
Glad to see I'm not the only one who has played the fool for a dog arsed man before. Sometimes on LHCF it seems like every woman on here came out the womb knowing how to manage men perfectly.
eta: I think a decent man can act like a dog when he is just not that into a woman but she IS so into him. A woman is prone to making mistakes like letting a man hit, or even lending him money, if she is totally sprung. A man who isn't that into you can be dangerous for a woman that way, even if he isn't really an awful bastid generally speaking.
eta: I think a decent man can act like a dog when he is just not that into a woman but she IS so into him. A woman is prone to making mistakes like letting a man hit, or even lending him money, if she is totally sprung. A man who isn't that into you can be dangerous for a woman that way, even if he isn't really an awful bastid generally speaking.
Last edited:
Very very true. The same man will treat another woman like a queen.
Similar threads
