He Doesn't Believe in Celebrating Valentines Day

0live0il

0live0il

New Member
We've been together for like 2 months & everything is going okay I suppose. He pays for dinners, any outings etc but I haven't received a gift yet. My birthday is in July & that feels like a century away! I was looking forward to getting a gift this valentines. Fair enough if he didn't want to celebrate Valentines day and just bought me random expensive gift another day but I haven't got one yet...

I want to express that I expect a got'damn gift! Usually I don't have to ask for one but this dude is acting up.

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How shall I bring up this discussion? My mother suggested that I tell him let's go shopping & see what he's willing to pay for. What do ya'll think? Is that too forward?
 
I have no advice just wanted to say my ex was exactly like this.....we didnt last long. We broke up right after vday actually.
 
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If you expect to get a gift, then you should express it to him. You can add, "What do you want me to do for you?" to offset seeming greedy. If he says no, leave it at that and don't push it. You'll have to decide if gift giving is a deal breaker or not for you in a relationship.

The first step is communication. Don't set him up by just expecting a gift you never talked about.

Good Luck!
 
Tell him you want a gift. Let him know it doesn't need to be a necklace dripping in diamonds or whatnot but you expect a gift.

I see nothing wrong with that. Listen, it's only been 2 months, you gotta let him know from jump what your expectations are. You know what you will and will not stand for, and so does he. Be prepared to hear a "oh ur a golddigger, bye." from him if he's not a gift giving type. (And if that does happen, count your blessings that you didn't waste more time on his stingy self)

Did that sound mean? I really didn't mean it to if it did.
 
tarheelgurl said:
What kind of gift do you expect after 2 months?
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I've been with my man a little over two months an this vday I'm getting dinner on the beach, a nice hotel room, a beautiful fossil watch and some ice skates. We don't believe in surprises. =)
 
tamikachu =];17824045 said:
I've been with my man a little over two months an this vday I'm getting dinner on the beach, a nice hotel room, a beautiful fossil watch and some ice skates. We don't believe in surprises. =)
Click to expand...

Imagine if there was a woman complaining about not being able to get pregnant & somebody walked in with, "Oh.. I'm pregnant with triplets".. without offering any advice. Do you see the point? :look: Yes. Good.

@RoseTintedCheeks - I'm going to try that! Thanks for the good advice.

@tarheelgurl - Something other than dinner, movies etc. It doesn't have to be too pricey. I just want something that shows he's put some thought into it.

@Whimsy - No, that didn't sound mean :lol: I'm just still trying to figure out how to word it, without being accused of being a goldigga. But at the same time I love generous men. I know it's early days but he doesn't strike me as the giving type.
 
I'm sorry but any man you have to demand a gift from is not really your man! These men really don't have to do anything. If he wants to do something he will genuinely do so without any probing or demanding from you.
 
0live0il said:
@Whimsy - No, that didn't sound mean :lol: I'm just still trying to figure out how to word it, without being accused of being a goldigga. But at the same time I love generous men. I know it's early days but he doesn't strike me as the giving type.
Click to expand...

Girl, from date #1 you gotta plant the "be generous with me" seed. Starting with a casual "what? no flowers for me?" on the first date! LOL. The reaction that gets will weed out the stingies. I'm all for letting a new guy know how your ex would take you shopping, etc... just so they know what you're expecting and can decide if they want to go that route with you or not. ya know? ;)
Anyhow. I'm bad with wording things, so I can't help you not sound golddiggerish lol... Maybe get him a card and something small and when you see him on Vday tell him you're excited to exchange gifts and see how that goes.
 
Seems kinda gold diggerish to me as well. What stuff have you done for him? Why is it always the women expecting something?
 
VelvetRain said:
Seems kinda gold diggerish to me as well. What stuff have you done for him? Why is it always the women expecting something?
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I might be wrong, but its a woman who gives a man pleasure, a child (which has his name and traits and if its a son is basically a continuation of his existance on this planet), an emotional crutch, a clean home, a nice meal, did I mention pleasure? and feelings of adequacy because men are weak and insecure.

I think we deserve something in return.
 
VelvetRain said:
Seems kinda gold diggerish to me as well. What stuff have you done for him? Why is it always the women expecting something?
Click to expand...

Well Lawd forbid.


Seriously though, I'm one of the cheapest folk ever but no gift for Vday just wouldnt happen if I was dating someone.
 
If its that important, then just tell him you would really like something....but don't get mad if its just chocolates and a teddy bear.

If I were you I would wait until my birthday before I start getting upset over gifts...it really hasn't been long enough for him to really give something good.
I know if I were a man I'd wait until either a birthday has come or its been at least 6 months before I pull the big guns out.
He probably wants to be sure everything is good before he starts spending real money.
 
Yeah I don't believe in that whole "I don't celebrate Valentine's Day"

I would say, 'oh, well I do." and let him go from there. I wouldn't tell him that I expect a gift or what to get me. I'd give him a chance to rise to the occasion, but if there was nothing done for V-day, that's a red flag.
 
Tell dude straight up that you love Valentine Day sentiments and leave it at that. You should not expect anything extravagant if you've only been dating for 2 months; (not saying that you are) that's reserved for relationships at the year mark or longer than that.

If he shows up empty handed (no candy or flowers and no card), then you know what time it is, unless there are other qualities that make up for that.

You can give him a card (not too mushy, but something flirty) to show that you give as well as receive. You really have to tell men today what you want or they'll assume you want nothing.

Tell him you like presents and gifts and that for you, receiving gifts makes you feel honored and happy. If he still doesn't do gifts after that, date others who will.
 
It should occur to him that since YOU do celebrate Valentine's Day, he should stop being self-centered and oblige. Does he celebrate any other holidays? Is this a religious thing? Is it an anti-commercialism stance? What is his MO?
 
0live0il said:
Imagine if there was a woman complaining about not being able to get pregnant & somebody walked in with, "Oh.. I'm pregnant with triplets".. without offering any advice. Do you see the point? :look: Yes. Good.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry that was rude, I wasn't trying to be malicious with my post. How about you guys exchange gifts a set a price limit on the gifts? Therefore you get something and he can't accuse you of being a gold digger or anything.
 
at two months id expect at least a card and some chocolates.i hope that doesnt make me sound gold diggerish :lol:
 
And QUAINS!


They will be the one buying the lingerie, cooking for the man, and even dishing out on a gift........while expecting little in return
 
"I do not believe in Celebrating Valentine's day"
OP, Did these words actually leave his lips? :ohwell:

tamikachu =];17824045 said:
I've been with my man a little over two months an this vday I'm getting dinner on the beach, a nice hotel room, a beautiful fossil watch and some ice skates. We don't believe in surprises. =)
Click to expand...

I like his style! :grin: See, it is never too soon to pull out all the 'stops'.
 
Let him know your expectations, If he doesn't meet them then he probably won't in the long run. Every man knows every woman wants SOMETHING for Valentines Day. You are not being a gold digger.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
Yep, just tell him that you love Valentine's Day and enjoy celebrating it. If he ignores that, **** him. I'm with Sylver, a card and candy, a single rose, dang something. I know I wouldn't be begging no man for gifts though. Two months in, he should be trying to impress you IMO. Good luck and try to relax. That is the one holiday I just sit back and enjoy being romanced. I hope you get what you're hoping for.
 
yuhlovevybz said:
I might be wrong, but its a woman who gives a man pleasure, a child (which has his name and traits and if its a son is basically a continuation of his existance on this planet), an emotional crutch, a clean home, a nice meal, did I mention pleasure? and feelings of adequacy because men are weak and insecure.

I think we deserve something in return.
Click to expand...

After two months?
 
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