How do you feel about white men who ONLY dates black girls?

[mischka]

I'm not about to be some dude's last resort because he couldn't bag the blonde haired blue eyed beauty of his dreams. I don't believe in some altruistic "I prefer black women above all others" based on a physical aesthetic, largely because I don't believe race plays any factor in a preference for attractiveness, and if it does for someone, then something is VERY wrong. For me there is absolutely nothing complimentary or sincere about anyone claiming to prefer one race above the other (even if I would like to delude myself into thinking I'm special since it just so happens to apply to me).

 

[DragonPearl]

I think sometimes we black women tend to find wrong where there is none. I don't see most white women turning down men who have a preference for white women... In fact, they seem to think it's natural...

 

[mischka]

I mean, people can do whatever they want, but I steer clear of white guys who claim they ONLY date black women, and white guys who tell me (with varying degrees of giddiness) that I am their "first" black girl. *shrug* different strokes...

 

[nappystorm]

Agreed^^^And weren't we just crying because men of other races didn't want us and were scared to bring us home? But it's a turn off when they want to?

 

[PeaceFlow]

The things that 100% put me off:

"I've always wanted to try a black woman"
" You're like my fantasy"
"Black women are HOT"

Its the experimental guys that I'd avoid. Funnily enough I feel white red haired women get this a LOT.

I don't however find mild- moderate fetishes all bad! People forget how much they low level fetishize things when it comes to attraction. I only like tall men and the mention of 6ft 1 plus makes me weak.

How many guys are obsessed with big asses and if you look back over their gfs they will all be a similar build. Personally I feel it only becomes a problem when the person doesn't see me as an individual and care about who I am past the aesthetic. It's easy to suss these guys out by the way they talk to you. When guys bring my race up too much that's another turn off.

Definitely met some guys like the OP, but not quite that vocal and thirsty LOLerplexed. However they told me they had a preference for black women, end sentence. They usually had long term relationships or had been married to black women so it wasn't just for experimentation.

Black men and women vocally fetishize each other probably more than any other intra-racial group IMO. Loads of posters on here have proclaimed black men are best, chocolate, swagger, bedroom yada yada. If a WW/WM says it maybe they just see what you see? Most of my bfs only date women of some sort of colour, but they don't talk about it all the time.

 

[princessnad]

^ WM fetishize blond hair and noone bats an eye.

 

[mischka]

To me it would be the same thing as me running around saying "yeah, I'm only dating white guys now because I'm disgusted with black men and you probably got good credit." I mean, when it comes to race, some things just don't need to be said.

"I'm sick of big black cawks tearing up my cervix, I'm ready to settle down with a nice smaller sized white guy" I mean come on.

 

[princessnad]

To me it would be the same thing as me running around saying "yeah, I'm only dating white guys now because I'm disgusted with black men and you probably got good credit." I mean, when it comes to race, some things just don't need to be said.

"I'm sick of big black cawks tearing up my cervix, I'm ready to settle down with a nice smaller sized white guy" I mean come on.

The "because" is where I raise a brow. Just the simple fact that someone prefers a specific race doesn't say anything. Why they prefer that race is the difference.

For ex, ITA when you said some WM (a small amount) prefer BW because they think BW expect less of them financially and physically. Steer clear of those guys. If that wm just likes how bw look, I see nothing wrong.

 

[mischka]

Fair enough. I'm gonna leave it alone because I know for some this is probably a sensitive issue, but just as an alternate point of view, I prefer not to date white men that I think are not "ready" for interracial dating. In my experience, the men who say these things are invariably the ones who I always have to play "teacher" to, and put up with a bunch of unwittingly ignorant statements without commenting on them. These are the men who will accuse you of "making a big deal about nothing" and "always focusing on race" and while I accept that a lot of people really don't know any better, it's too much unnecessary crap for me personally to put up with. I'm not the black woman they need to date slash should be dating.

 

[princessnad]

Fair enough. I'm gonna leave it alone because I know for some this is probably a sensitive issue, but just as an alternate point of view, I prefer not to date white men that I think are not "ready" for interracial dating. I have seen this manifest itself in various ways and I always feel like I have to play teacher to his dumbass, or put up with a bunch of unwittingly ignorant statements without commenting on them. These are the men who will accuse you of "making a big deal about nothing" and "always focusing on race" and while I accept that a lot of people really don't know any better, it's too much unnecessary crap for me personally to put up with. I'm not the black woman they need to date slash should be dating.

I agree you have to weed those out. I had one terrible experience with one guy before I really understood the difference between those who were ready and those who weren't.

He would say that black guys on campus were looking at him like they wanted to stab him because he was with me. And he was being dead serious that he feared for his life. Keep in mind I went to a top school where most of the black students went to private schools/ great school districts up until college and came from upper-middle class households. He was a racist and I didn't realize that until it was too late.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I would steer clear of them, as they are to white men as "fat white woman who only dates black guys" is to white women.

I learned this very quickly when I began to date interracially. He was a skinny blonde jewish nerd type and accidentally let it slip once that blonde white women are considered the ideal, but he wasn't about to chase what he couldn't get, so that's why he dated black women. He quickly tried to follow it up with "not that I don't want them too!" but the damage was done and that was the end of that story.

Really...I had a group of white guys tell me...Fcuk a blonde, Marry a Brunette. I was like

 

[Raine054]

I find it to be a bit disconcerting but then again I find all racial exclusionary "preferences" disturbing (except in regards to one's own race).

 

[Renewed1]

I see nothing wrong with it. Why would a woman totally disregard a man because he says he has a preference for black women?

I'm so confuzzled by that...

Yeah me too. Of course, there will always be men who want to "experiment" with BM, AW, SW, etc. It's each woman (regardless of color) responsibility to "weed out" the men that are experimenting.

I've met WM that dated blondes, "just for the experience" because of the stigma, "blondes are more fun, freaky, etc."

So when it comes to MEN and their experiments....every woman needs to be more careful; regardless of color.

 

[racheljay1985]

As a black female who dates white men exclusively, I don't see anything wrong with it unless he sees it as a fetish. My bf has dated others but prefers black women. He's not odd, or tries to be anything he isn't. That's just what he likes, I like him, and we were naturally drawn towards each other. I respect black men, as well as other men of other ethnic backgrounds but white guys are just my preference. Some people prefer apples over oranges. However the whole "taste better" comment was out of line. Smh.

 

[MissMasala5]

What does it indicate to you when someone dates another race yet their friends aren't of that race? Just curious because I date others and pretty much all my good girlfriends are black.

It seems like racism to me. But moreso from whites who date black yet don't seem interested in knowing blacks outside of sex than the other way around, as in your case. Mainly because I don't view blacks as a whole as racists. Prejudiced, yes, but not racist.

 

[Lovelylocs]

I hate it when men feel like it's okay to say things like this. Why not just say that you like so and so b/c so and so is nice and pretty. Or, yes, I think darker women are pretty. But really, men should only give that information when asked and even then, probably not.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Yeah me too. Of course, there will always be men who want to "experiment" with BM, AW, SW, etc. It's each woman (regardless of color) responsibility to "weed out" the men that are experimenting.

I've met WM that dated blondes, "just for the experience" because of the stigma, "blondes are more fun, freaky, etc."

So when it comes to MEN and their experiments....every woman needs to be more careful; regardless of color.

This is really true. My ex gave me the lowdown on how some men talk even in their race like they want to "try out" a French, or Italian woman ect... Then there's the older woman thing and many more.

Any White, or other man who views black women as an experiment, or black wings to collect nono are probably douchebags with their own women too.

If you go round talking to random men, whether its in your race or IR, theres always an element that just want to sleep with you. Whatever the reason is irrelevent, it's just a type of man.

Haven't actually had many problems with this and non black guys affections, but they are around. I don't feel anymore at threat from sex hungry, degrading, arrogant non BM than I do with BM.

When people bring this into IR conversations to warn you that some WM will just want to use you for sex. I'm thinking some black men want to use me for sex I'll just weed out the losers same as usual.

 

[*5+5]

I would feel quite flattered...I think hands down black women are the baddest race of women and believe men are suppose to feel that way

I've dated a white guy before that only dated BW, what was odd to me were the white guys that I dated and I was the 1st BW they had known, touched, talk to.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I always take what men tell me with a grain of salt I feel if a man showboats like this, it means he's bed hopping.

I would prefer a man didn't tell me what his preference was unless it came up in conversation. But I am flattered nonetheless, actually I like it a lot.

 

[lesedi]

Another thing, men who go out of their way to insult white women and white culture in general, reek of lack-of-backbone and lack of self-pride. Men without backbone are foul to me, I don't want to be able to say anything about white people and you just sit there and nod your head. IF I NEED TO GET SHUT DOWN, YOU BETTER DO IT.

 

[Renewed1]

When people bring this into IR conversations to warn you that some WM will just want to use you for sex. I'm thinking some black men want to use me for sex I'll just weed out the losers same as usual.

THANK YOU!!! Some BW think way too hard on dating WM. Date WM like you would any man...because it's a M.A.N.

I would feel quite flattered...I think hands down black women are the baddest race of women and believe men are suppose to feel that way

I've dated a white guy before that only dated BW, what was odd to me were the white guys that I dated and I was the 1st BW they had known, touched, talk to.

I so agree with the bold!!

As for your second statement, that has been my experience as well with other cultures.

But let's rethink the term "experiment" some people will date outside their race to see if it's for them. I've done it. I dated a Hispanic guy and I KNEW I couldn't do that anymore. But it was my "experiment". So if it's non-sexual, I'm not so against it. I believe that's how we weed out what we like and don't like.

 

[CurlyMoo]

^ WM fetishize blond hair and noone bats an eye.

Which is why there are so many fake blondes. These women don't get offended they get blond and have more fun!

 

[mischka]

Y'all are equating blackness with being blonde?

This is the point where I stop clicking this thread.

 

[lesedi]

CurlyMoo
In my instance, I'm not offended just put-off.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Y'all are equating blackness with being blonde?

This is the point where I stop clicking this thread.

.

The point is that both are being objectified based on superficial reasons. A lot of women are going blonde because they think it will make them more appealing to men/culture whom have a blond fetish.

However, I don't agree that one should change to meet standards that are against who they naturally are. Someone mentioned that women of other races don't mind being a fetish and that was just an example.

 

[MissMasala5]

.

The point is that both are being objectified based on superficial reasons. A lot of women are going blonde because they think it will make them more appealing to men/culture whom have a blond fetish.

However, I don't agree that one should change to meet standards that are against who they naturally are. Someone mentioned that women of other races don't mind being a fetish and that was just an example.

Good points. As for not minding... Some people go into situations unaware that they are being objectified because they are taking the person as a person not a race or other physical attribute, and assume they are being treated in the same regard. If such is the case, the signs will be there to be seen eventually.

 

[Phoenix11]

One of my exes had a preference scale. In order he would prefer to date:

Black Women
Asian
White Women

He would not exclude any race but just had a strong preference. We still keep in touch from time to time and the topic of "who is he dating" always comes up. The last time we spoke he said "a nice women, blond hair, blue eyes...definately not my type" Laughed because I didn't know if he meant the "nice" or "blond hair/blue eyes" were not his type.

Anywho...I was not turned off that Black Women topped his leader board.

 

[andromeda]

they skeeve me out...i don't think they necessarily have a black girl fetish but most of the time, there's something off and i don't want to be a part of it

 

[song_of_serenity]

It depends. If they are of the sort to go "I only date black women! White women are just fat, don't taste as good, old looking" then I equate them to black men who only date white and say "black women are gold diggers, aren't freaky enough in bed, nothing but attitude" etc.

Downing your own race to validate why you're dating another has a BIG self hatred component.

If they just have preference to it then so be it. Many of us like men who have certain phenotypes (tall, short, locks, waves, brown, dark, light) so...

 

[wednesday]

I see nothing wrong with it. Why would a woman totally disregard a man because he says he has a preference for black women?

I'm so confuzzled by that...

Because it's more than a preference if you say you ONLY date a certain race. I have a preference for black men but i would date any guy of any race that i had a genuine connection with.