Do You Not Date White Men...

G

Godyssey

Well-Known Member
Out Of Distrust???

I was just in the thread "Do You Not Date Black Men" and decided to create this spinoff.

Firstly, I will state that I have dated white men and don't have a problem with it. However, there was one particular time when I met a white guy who creeped me out. He didn't do anything weird, I guess. He approached me, said he thought I was good looking or something to that effect, offered to buy me a beer and invited my friend and I sit with him and his friends. I was flattered at first, but then I thought, this guy is super cute. We were at a large sporting event so there were lot's of white girls around that he could hit on. What did he want with me? Then, I began to wonder if he was crazy, like a serial killer or if he was going to slip something in my drink and kidnap me. So, I told him "no thanks" and left to my seat. Now, I know if it were a good looking man of color, I would've taken him up on his offer.

So, my question is have you ever not gone out with someone because the situation felt weird to you, because he was white?

My sister and I had this discussion once and agreed that we may feel weird towards white men because of the stereotype, that so many of them are serial killers.

I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation.
 
The only time I turned down a white guy was because of some of the things he said. We went out on two dates no prob. But he got drunk one night and alluded he liked dating black girls because they are wild in bed. I immediately stop talking to him. I am not a prude or anything. But I want a guy to date me for me, not to fulfill some stereotype he is buying into.
 
I would not date a white man who grew up in any colonized nation (with the exception of Haiti). Generally, I'm not attracted to white men enough to want to persue a relationship. Additionally, the baggage and history make them less attractive to me.
 
White men generally are not that appealing to me and also, I'm hardly approached by them. Living in South Africa, I don't think me dating a white man is even really an option at this point. But in Britain, where I lived up until last year, it totally is a possibility....it just never happened! I think growing in South East London made me believe that black people were the majority race group in the UK!!
 
serial killers tho? lol. thats an interesting reason.
i dont date them not b.c. of a bad experience. if that was the case i wouldve given up bm a long time ago. i generally dont find white men attractive
 
Godyssey said:
Out Of Distrust???

I was just in the thread "Do You Not Date Black Men" and decided to create this spinoff.

Firstly, I will state that I have dated white men and don't have a problem with it. However, there was one particular time when I met a white guy who creeped me out. He didn't do anything weird, I guess. He approached me, said he thought I was good looking or something to that effect, offered to buy me a beer and invited my friend and I sit with him and his friends. I was flattered at first, but then I thought, this guy is super cute. We were at a large sporting event so there were lot's of white girls around that he could hit on. What did he want with me? Then, I began to wonder if he was crazy, like a serial killer or if he was going to slip something in my drink and kidnap me. So, I told him "no thanks" and left to my seat. Now, I know if it were a good looking man of color, I would've taken him up on his offer.

So, my question is have you ever not gone out with someone because the situation felt weird to you, because he was white?

My sister and I had this discussion once and agreed that we may feel weird towards white men because of the stereotype, that so many of them are serial killers.

I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation.
Click to expand...

Wait, what?
You think a cute white guy should pick you only in the absence of white women!!! Wowzer.

He picked you because you look good to him. Men aren't that deep. If he thought the white girls were cuter, he'd have been up on them. Myself, I don't want a man of ANY race who sees BW as the last choice to pick only when white girls aren't around.
 
My first preference would be to date someone from the Caribbean because most times our culture is pretty similiar. Next, I would date a black American. All others fall after that.

I've never dated a white man, but I've dated an Indian and Korean fellow before. It felt weird to me, and the Indian guy was way cheap. The Korean was really nice and pretty intelligent. He was finishing up a fellowship in anesthesiology. It felt so weird to kiss him. I wasn't attracted to him like that so we decided to just be friends.

I've only chatted with a white guy once, and my fear of the unknown kept me from pursuing it. There aren't a lot of bwwm couples in good ole Texas, except probably Austin since it's such a college town.
 
I've dated white guys who have some weird idea in their head that black women are hot in bed and will fulfil any wild sexual fantasies. They also watch black porn and know the names of their favourite porn stars???!!! :perplexed I also find that they have weird sexual desires. It's offensive to me that they want to date your blackness rather than the person you are. This is just my experience of course, but it is somewhat off putting
 
Godyssey said:
Out Of Distrust???

I was just in the thread "Do You Not Date Black Men" and decided to create this spinoff.

Firstly, I will state that I have dated white men and don't have a problem with it. However, there was one particular time when I met a white guy who creeped me out. He didn't do anything weird, I guess. He approached me, said he thought I was good looking or something to that effect, offered to buy me a beer and invited my friend and I sit with him and his friends. I was flattered at first, but then I thought, this guy is super cute. We were at a large sporting event so there were lot's of white girls around that he could hit on. What did he want with me? Then, I began to wonder if he was crazy, like a serial killer or if he was going to slip something in my drink and kidnap me. So, I told him "no thanks" and left to my seat. Now, I know if it were a good looking man of color, I would've taken him up on his offer.

So, my question is have you ever not gone out with someone because the situation felt weird to you, because he was white?

My sister and I had this discussion once and agreed that we may feel weird towards white men because of the stereotype, that so many of them are serial killers.

I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation.
Click to expand...

Umm, just because the majority of serial killers happen to be white men, does NOT mean that the majority of white men are serial killers. That's the last thing that enters into my mind when a white man approaches me.

Also, why would you feel like you should play second fiddle to the white women in the crowd? Do you think the white women should be his first choice and if he's talking to you there must be some type of ulterior motive. It's one thing to not really be attracted to white men, but all of those other assumptions are pretty far out there. Yet black women want to get offended when people are wary of us being overweight, argumentative, baby factories, etc.
 
I'd date a white guy but I just never had the opportunity. I was always into white guys but I just didn't think they were into me (white guys in general), but that was just my own insecurity. Now, if a hot white guy comes up to me (any hot guy actually, white, black, asian), IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!
I don't think I'm second fiddle to any woman because of my color and I just see myself as a person, so that has helped me out majorly concerning race relations.
Ya'll should open your eyes some white and asian guy are HOTT
 
I know that the serial killer thing is way out there... my point was that because of the stereotypes, one may be afraid of any hidden alterior motive if they show interest.

Secondly, I believe my second guessing of why a very attractive white guy would be interested in me, stems from what a white friend once told me years prior to that incident. She told me that you never see attractive white men with black women. She said that attractive white men date attractive white women because they can get them easily and they don't have to deal with the baggage that comes with a mixed relationship. She then explained that less attractive white guys will date attractive black women because they're easier for them to obtain than attractive white women.

Now, I was a pretty young girl at the time and this was a friend of mine. She was much older than me (at the time she was in her mid thirties and I was perhaps 19) and had lot's of life experience, so I trusted what she had to say in general (not on this topic alone). So, based on that logic...if you want to call it that, I became suspicious when that guy approached me. Perhaps, that was my "friends" way of making sure that I never treaded in on her territory, lol.
 
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Godyssey said:
I know that the serial killer thing is way out there... my point was that because of the stereotypes, one may be afraid of hidden alterior motives if they show interest.

Secondly, I believe my second guessing of why a very attractive white guy would be interested in me, stems from what a white friend once told me years prior to that incident. She told me that you never see attractive white men with black women. She said that attractive white men date attractive white women because they can get them easily and they don't have to deal with the baggage that comes with a mixed relationship. She then explained that less attractive white guys will date attractive black women because they're easier for them to obtain than attractive white women. Now, I was a pretty young girl at the time and this was a friend of mine. She was much older than me and had lot's of life experience, so I trusted what she had to say in general (not on this topic alone). So, based on that logic...if you want to call it that, I became suspicious when that guy approached me. Perhaps, that was my "friends" way of making sure that I never treaded in on her territory, lol.
Click to expand...

You already know.
 
Godyssey said:
I know that the serial killer thing is way out there... my point was that because of the stereotypes, one may be afraid of any hidden alterior motive if they show interest.

Secondly, I believe my second guessing of why a very attractive white guy would be interested in me, stems from what a white friend once told me years prior to that incident. She told me that you never see attractive white men with black women. She said that attractive white men date attractive white women because they can get them easily and they don't have to deal with the baggage that comes with a mixed relationship. She then explained that less attractive white guys will date attractive black women because they're easier for them to obtain than attractive white women.

Now, I was a pretty young girl at the time and this was a friend of mine. She was much older than me (at the time she was in her mid thirties and I was perhaps 19) and had lot's of life experience, so I trusted what she had to say in general (not on this topic alone). So, based on that logic...if you want to call it that, I became suspicious when that guy approached me. Perhaps, that was my "friends" way of making sure that I never treaded in on her territory, lol.
Click to expand...

She was probably intimated by you
 
My concern with white guys is if he's really into me or just black curious. It's basically the same as screening black guys or any other guy for just being interested in sex but with our history that element adds insult to injury for me. I'm not trying to be nobody's guinea pig or perpetuate the traditional thought of them seeing us as sex objects.
 
I agree. And honestly speaking, if I had 2 attractive men interested in me both equally handsome, intellegent, successful etc, I would pick the black man. So, upon further thought, I think my friend may have brought up a good point.
 
In Jamaica, I really did not see in colour, unfortunately coming to America has changed that. Also I feel like they're out of my reach because of the culture differences, here in America there is no uniform culture, it's white culture, black culture, then that gets even more complicated. In Jamaica I would have dated one in a heartbeat, but here? NO
 
Okay, that's something that I don't understand. Why are so many people saying that in other countries they would date white, but not in the U.S.? What is the difference? I've never been overseas...
 
Godyssey said:
Okay, that's something that I don't understand. Why are so many people saying that in other countries they would date white, but not in the U.S.? What is the difference? I've never been overseas...
Click to expand...

I think in America you cannot escape race and the isms/supremacist thought that come along with it. It'a part of the culture. I personally can't see myself dating a white American man for this reason.

To answer your OP I've briefly dated a white guy in the past, but I prefer men of color.
 
Ladies...date who you want. Date who you are attracted to. Don't worry about what society thinks. There is no society on earth where there are no closed minded, bitter, "___ist" people. I suspect that there are elements in all societies that have a problem with fat men, short men, bald men, really dark skinned black men, un/underemployed men, etc. "White " is just another identifier that some element in society will have a problem with. If you are not attracted to one of the above identifiers, then don't date them. But don't let society dictate who you should date.
 
AND stop putting down the USA...this is the greatest modern society on the planet. Of course there are problematic elements. But show me a society where there are NO problematic elements. Jamaica, UK, Asia, or other wise. USA! USA! USA!
 
^ No one is putting the USA down...just noting differences. Race is a big deal here and in other countries, race is not so much the issue, but class is.

I never get approached by white men here, unless they are foreign.
 
:ohwell:Hmm... I can understand some of these sentiments but at the same time if I'm attracted to a good man and I like him, I will date him. Plain and simple... It doesn't matter if he's black or white or American.

I just can't imagine saying to some guy "Sorry it's not because you're white, it's because you're American.."...please... That's why I hope most people are discerning or open enough to talk about these kind of things before hand. If not move on..

Although America still has its problems with race/class, this country has come a LONG way considering it's one of the most diverse nations in human history...
 
I'm prefer men of color but every so often a white guy will catch my eye and they're almost always European. I've studied and worked in Europe and there is a very real difference between white Americans and white Europeans. A basic way to sum it up is that although Europe has its own racial problems, it's more of a clash of civilizations whereas the US, this nation was literally conceived in racism and we still have not overcome it. Race just isn't the same thing in Europe as it is in the US. (I'm was a European history major in college and IMO the cultural differences between America and Europe are all rooted in history.)

But I digress. Part of my attraction to European guys is strictly that they're foreign lol. These days I find myself bored and unimpressed with American guys in general, no matter the race. But I've been approached by white guys both American and European.
 
^^ Of course race is different in other places. Race, as we all know, is a social construction and it is only logical to conclude that different societies construct it differently. But I definitely understand the appeal of foreign guys...lol... :lick: There is just something about a Scottish or German accent...
 
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i'm not really all that attracted to white men. have anyone noticed that they bald a whole lot quicker than ethnic races? like as soon as they hit their mid 20's their hair starts to thin. also they age badly.

other than that, i wouldnt date a white man even if he was 50 and still looked like eric (from trueblood.) i might sleep w. him :lick: but i wouldnt "date" him. it doesn't seem worth it to me. idk, maybe its bc i live in the south. but i think all white ppl, esp the men, are racist.

i've been approached by a lot of white men. the most recent ones were online. and before that, i didnt even know they were attracted to me until i got a white gf in college. every time we were around white guys they would always hit on me. or when we were around her guy friends they would often ask her to put in a good word for them to me.or they would tell her how hot they think i am. i was kind of surprised by this bc before then i never got approached by white men. but w. her i got it all the time. i still dont know why that is. and it was only when i was w. her. never when i was w. my blk friends. and other than online it hasn't happened since IRL, weird....

either way, i'll date any other race but white. except maybe blk caribbean, or blk african. i dont trust them. (yea, yea, im not tryin to hear it):wacky:
oh yea, or indian..they have a real issue with skin color:drunk:
 
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