Deceased Friend's Husband Wants To Do Lunch

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

As for her putz of a father: May his penis rot and fall off. The piece of filth.

Are you Jewish? That's something I would have said lolol. I'll add, may he suffer eternal diarrhea and may the toilets be locked!

 

[kayte]

If I were you I would not go.
I would, however, try to write something about my friend and send to the daughter as a memory from someone who knew her. Maybe a poem or a few memories of your impression of your friend.

this is bringing tears
excellent suggestion and I will even if I have to find her on my own
not having direct contact with him again..

He did say she is one of the top five artist in San Fran
one of those watch for a rising star.artists
the sweetest sweetest unassuming girl
I'd tell her about her mom and we'd both cry..and
she'd be like I didn't even know..this about my mom
I'm hanging on your every word

yes I will do that...
I'll find her!!

 

[kayte]

Well, now you know for certain what he's about. What a vile pig.

I do hope you'll be able to connect with the daughter. It would be lovely and a comfort for you both to share memories of her mother. As for her putz of a father: May his penis rot and fall off. The piece of filth

I AM LAFFIN ..OVER HERE...

OK the pyschic thing because that was the exact word I used
OUT LOUD
I said what a pig
lol at the rest... I'm not that creative and his groin was the last thought
in my mind even though I thorougly (mispelled on purpose)
co-sign the sentiment of that ...

vile indeed

 

[kayte]

He's trying to force you to get involved because you're the type of person who cares about her reputation.

genuinely kind person

I do care..that's what sad and I am a good friend...which he just lost

I am NOT stupid and I am not
I honestly cannot think of a word

there is not a word strong enough for a female or male who
would prospect and poach her deceased friend's man..accept his invitations
to approach her using her dead friend's ..memory
as a vehicle knowing that sex was to be part of that mix that is so repulsive

it's unconscionable behavior
and so is he

 

[kayte]

And the implication that he knew intimate things about you and your sexual life? Ew. Ew. Ew.

sometimes I think I have seen it all and then this knocks the wind
It took me by surprise or I would said this is really inappropriate
wished him healing and support
and ended the call

but now I know....

 

[kayte]

may he suffer eternal diarrhea and may the toilets be locked!

you have me ROLLIN over here

 

[kayte]

that being said I didn't have the idea in my head that your situation was n e thing like that and if you think he has questionable intents and wasn't operating as a loving person while your friend was still alive, and you feel within he's still not in a better place its better to trust your instincts than to create a situation that you don't have to experience to know better

He did not appreciate her while she was alive....
she was an amazing person..who fought against her impulse to leave him
I always secretly hoped she would
he was so abrasive and awful and egotistical and selfabsorbed
I knew she could do better..but she was loyal to him
and now that's she's gone ...
I know he feels it..the loss...she doted on him..
or tried to
I said on the phone ..She is an incredible artist and he corrected me WAS
and I thought yeah..well...that's how he thought of her when she was alive
so he was a d**** when she was alive and still ...even with her death

~~~
I unfortunately actually do have experience with conniving men..
and betrayal which is what this is.....

I would not have been taken advantage of ...
no ...my concern is that I would have gone BALLISTIC
but I also would never walk into a situation having a good idea of
what to expect if it's negative..I would not set myself up like that
for anyone...

BUT
my friend..I truly loved her
and I have her child to think of and that DOES mean something to me
especially as I did not attend the memorial..so I am going to follow through with her
and detach from all else

 

[DSP]

Are you Jewish? That's something I would have said lolol. I'll add, may he suffer eternal diarrhea and may the toilets be locked!

I'm not Jewish, but I know my punim from my pupik.

I AM LAFFIN ..OVER HERE...

OK the pyschic thing because that was the exact word I used
OUT LOUD
I said what a pig
lol at the rest... I'm not that creative and his groin was the last thought
in my mind even though I thorougly (mispelled on purpose)
co-sign the sentiment of that ...

vile indeed

 

[kayte]

I know my punim from my pupik.

well ....I don't

do tell

 

[DSP]

well ....I don't

do tell

Punim = face
Pupik = bellybutton

 

[kayte]

okay. I am the music specialist in two Jewish schools..
next time someone tries to say somethin to me
imma say

...do'nt mess with me!
I knows my punim from my pupik

 

[kayte]

update

My deceased friend's husband called me while I was out thankfully
and left a message on my machine

I have a message that goes like this on my machine
Hi you're reaching K's answering machine..leave me a message
cas you never know ...I just might be hanging around...waiting to pick up
sooo..you betta say somethin ..ha-ha


his message went

wow..K... great message! ..well if you 're hanging ar-ooound

he was flirting ...the intonation of his voice was seductive and fllrtiatious

I want to ask you to come to dinner..soon
a "friendly" dinner "nothing more than that"..."just as friends"
you know that lingo...thought we could catch up...I cook some good pasta....
thought it would be "fun to hang out"

at this point..listening.... I broke down..like wow........
is nothing freakin sacred anymore


I called him immediately and thankfully got his machine

said I am mourning your wife privately and while I can see it was meant well I don't want to be invited to dinner...OR.... for you to call me again ....I know how it must be difficult for you because "Susan" was a special
person and I miss her terribly and I can only imagine what it must be for you but I do not want anymore invitations

and than I called right back and said I want to leave another number for the daughter to call me and I left it and I said AGAIN..Just to be clear... a couple of months ago..I gave you my phone number that you called me on today....
.... only for your daughter..that number was to have been for her

and I hope there are no hard feelings but again you are not to call me ever and I sincerely hope you honor this boundary and that you can get support to help you heal..take care

this is not a proud day for anybody
I have such rage and disgust..I actually feel naseaous

 

[FlowerHair]

I think your message on his answering machine was great. I hope he got the message erplexed

 

[kayte]

I think your message on his answering machine was great. I hope he got the message

I sincerely hope so ..cas I have NO PROBLEM really getting hard-core
and tellin him off...no problem at all...
my dear dear dead friend ..It's wrong to harbor hatred..but I hate him

 

[bimbabe]

Yeah he is being extremely disgusting.
I think you got your message across. He would have to be stupid to want to try that ish again.

 

[cocoaluv]

He wanted to just have a private dinner and not invite his daughter????? Wow.

 

[kayte]

He wanted to just have a private dinner and not invite his daughter????? Wow.

stressing "just as friends"

...what the *&^% ... is that supposed to mean? he's delusional as well as stupid

be fun to hang out.....he said ...fun fun???? hang out????

For the sake of my friend and her daughter I kept civil
I cannot stand him....if it wasn't for them..I would told him
about himself

He would have to be stupid to want to try that ish again

I tried to make sure there was NO doubt because I was kind before
but if he does again....the gloves come off