Crackers Crumbs: How You Go On Vacation Without Your Wife? >:(

[Crackers Phinn]

See this is why I have questions about the married life. I can't go somewhere without my husband or ppl might be on my case? I can't be away from the man for a few weeks even with my mom? For the rest of his life? I need a more flexible situation than that.

Not being difficult but do you not see how this might be a problem the first year of marriage? Odds are you've spent a few weeks on vacation with your mother a dozen or more times, how many dozens of times would you have realistically done the same with your new husband?

I think that maybe some of the nonchalance about the newlywed phase is that there's the assumption that people have been dating and cohabitating for several years before marriage. I read an article that said that half of married couples get married without cohabitation and of the half that cohabit, almost half are married within 3 years. The stories of living with a dude 3-20 years and then getting married are the exceptions not the rule.

 

[Abibi]

He's 8 and her family lives in the Philippines so it was either take the kid with them or come back from the honeymoon to catch a CPS case.

This is one of the reasons that I was adamant that if I had to deal with a single father his kids had to be old enough to be out of the house or within a few years of being out of the house. Nothing younger than high school.

Not that the two are related or anything , but was she a mail-order bride in her first mariage?

 

[Dee-Licious]

The plot thickens.
Did he too enjoy doing WPS?
Does she have a policy on your friend?

The malice may all be a front.

 

[Dee-Licious]

I enjoy traveling with my husband and without my husband. I enjoy spending time with him. I enjoy spending time on my own doing things.
3 WEEKS apart at one time by choice is crazy as hell to me, and I don't need to be under my husband all the time at all.

Thinking this is cuckoo does not mean a woman feels the need to be up under her man all the time.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

Not being difficult but do you not see how this might be a problem the first year of marriage? Odds are you've spent a few weeks on vacation with your mother a dozen or more times, how many dozens of times would you have realistically done the same with your new husband?

I think that maybe some of the nonchalance about the newlywed phase is that there's the assumption that people have been dating and cohabitating for several years before marriage. I read an article that said that half of married couples get married without cohabitation and of the half that cohabit, almost half are married within 3 years. The stories of living with a dude 3-20 years and then getting married are the exceptions not the rule.

The only way I can see this being a problem is if my husband doesn't trust me not to cheat or I don't trust him. I don't anticipate there being trust issues in a marriage that early on. If that's the case we shouldn't be married. How can a grown man or woman not manage themselves for 3 weeks? I'm genuinely not seeing where y'all are coming from. School me on what I'm not getting.

 

[Dee-Licious]

The only way I can see this being a problem is if my husband doesn't trust me not to cheat or I don't trust him. I don't anticipate there being trust issues in a marriage that early on. If that's the case we shouldn't be married. How can a grown man or woman not manage themselves for 3 weeks? I'm genuinely not seeing where y'all are coming from. School me on what I'm not getting.

I can manage myself for 3 weeks just fine. I still don't think I or my husband should be wanting a three week break from each other. Hey, some folks need extended breaks from their spouses. It's just not my life.

 

[MrsMe]

Pause.

What's going on with home boy? Ugly? Club foot? Coloring with the crayola crayons instead of the jumbo markers?

I just died!

 

[MrsMe]

Double post

 

[reallynow]

Not only did this fool go away for 3 weeks but then to Chernobyl!?!? I mean I'm all for traveling but 3 weeks away from your spouse and you're a newlywed. Wife should have been giving him all kinds of side eye in the pictures. SMH

 

[Lucie]

Don't think that, there are always those that will act as if you don't have a marriage the way they're used to seeing it, you're doing it wrong, the most important thing is to find someone who not only loves you but is compatible with your personality, if you have that life is a lot easier.

Werd.

 

[curlicarib]

@Autumn~Tint~Of~Gold, I'm heading back East for my niece's wedding in August. I'll be passing through NY for a hot minute. Just tell me where you want me to pick you up.

I'm gonna bring a bunch of ladies from the board and come and free you one day. We'll drop you off at a university somewhere. That's just unacceptable.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Pause.

What's going on with home boy? Ugly? Club foot? Coloring with the crayola crayons instead of the jumbo markers?

He looks like Brendan Fraser. Before you get too excited, go see what Brendan Fraser looks like today. The problem was when he was younger he looked like anorexic Brendan Fraser (6'3" 160 pounds?) and now he looks like how Brendan Fraser be lookin.

His problem is his personality. He is a rich white entitled (but swears he isn't) compulsive Steve Urkle. On top of that he used to be a hoarder. I'm not sure if the wife has put a foot in his a-- about it but his ridiculously huge house was a giant disgusting disaster. He was always saying he would get maid service as soon as he had a chance to go through everything and sort stuff out but he was constantly ordering stuff off Amazon mainly because he couldn't find stuff in his house and would just replace it.

He's had 2 real girlfriends (includes the wife) and one imagined girlfriend who was little more than a pen pal in the last 10 years. And this was a grown man who paid cash for his house in the hills(he makes sure to tell every woman he's interested in this), and driven a Porsche for the last 20 years not because he likes the car design or even likes to drive fast, he kept buying them to attract women. Fifty first dates was his life story and the few women who could stomach him beyond first dates ran like the wind when they saw the inside of his house.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Not that the two are related or anything , but was she a mail-order bride in her first mariage?

You know what? I don't know but I would keep that to myself if I was her but who knows, she might be dumb.

 

[nysister]

YES. WHY YES HE DID ENJOY DOING WPS!!!!!!!

Her first husband went out like Sonny Bono and hit tree while skiing. I know that the friend has life insurance that he likely made her a beneficiary of but I don't know if she has her own policy on him.

See, you are giving me a whole new line of questioning.

Noooooo (rubs hands together) tell us more!

 

[chicitygirl]

He looks like Brendan Fraser. Before you get too excited, go see what Brendan Fraser looks like today. The problem was when he was younger he looked like anorexic Brendan Fraser (6'3" 160 pounds?) and now he looks like how Brendan Fraser be lookin.

His problem is his personality. He is a rich white entitled (but swears he isn't) compulsive Steve Urkle. On top of that he used to be a hoarder. I'm not sure if the wife has put a foot in his a-- about it but his ridiculously huge house was a giant disgusting disaster. He was always saying he would get maid service as soon as he had a chance to go through everything and sort stuff out but he was constantly ordering stuff off Amazon mainly because he couldn't find stuff in his house and would just replace it.

He's had 2 real girlfriends (includes the wife) and one imagined girlfriend who was little more than a pen pal in the last 10 years. And this was a grown man who paid cash for his house in the hills(he makes sure to tell every woman he's interested in this), and driven a Porsche for the last 20 years not because he likes the car design or even likes to drive fast, he kept buying them to attract women. Fifty first dates was his life story and the few women who could stomach him beyond first dates ran like the wind when they saw the inside of his house.

Oh, I see. Yeah, I don't think she's even checking for him romantically like that. She was probably looking for someone with money to hang on to until her son is old enough to leave home. Is she living in the dirty house or did they get a new one? Their relationship sounds more like an arrangement. He gets a "wife" and she gets financial stability and a father figure for her kid. Might not be mail order, but not a huge difference in the arrangement.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

The only way I can see this being a problem is if my husband doesn't trust me not to cheat or I don't trust him. I don't anticipate there being trust issues in a marriage that early on. If that's the case we shouldn't be married. How can a grown man or woman not manage themselves for 3 weeks? I'm genuinely not seeing where y'all are coming from. School me on what I'm not getting.

It honestly never crossed my mind that dude was going to Chernobyl to cheat. I think his wife realizes don't nobody want him but her either and the jury may still be out on her.

I will have to try and think of another way to explain this because the problem is directly related to how long they have been married and how long he was gone. Not to mention becoming this boys father figure and being like "see you next month" (he left in May and got back last week).

 

[IslandMummy]

He looks like Brendan Fraser. Before you get too excited, go see what Brendan Fraser looks like today. The problem was when he was younger he looked like anorexic Brendan Fraser (6'3" 160 pounds?) and now he looks like how Brendan Fraser be lookin.

His problem is his personality. He is a rich white entitled (but swears he isn't) compulsive Steve Urkle. On top of that he used to be a hoarder. I'm not sure if the wife has put a foot in his a-- about it but his ridiculously huge house was a giant disgusting disaster. He was always saying he would get maid service as soon as he had a chance to go through everything and sort stuff out but he was constantly ordering stuff off Amazon mainly because he couldn't find stuff in his house and would just replace it.

He's had 2 real girlfriends (includes the wife) and one imagined girlfriend who was little more than a pen pal in the last 10 years. And this was a grown man who paid cash for his house in the hills(he makes sure to tell every woman he's interested in this), and driven a Porsche for the last 20 years not because he likes the car design or even likes to drive fast, he kept buying them to attract women. Fifty first dates was his life story and the few women who could stomach him beyond first dates ran like the wind when they saw the inside of his house.

The wife is not upset that he went, she's upset he made it back.

 

[LiftedUp]

I was thinking about this the other day. While I don't have a problem with married women going on girl trips, I'll have a problem with married men, my married man, going on guy trips. Then it also occurred to me, I don't know much men who go on guy trips anyway. It's either with their gf or family.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Oh, I see. Yeah, I don't think she's even checking for him romantically like that. She was probably looking for someone with money to hang on to until her son is old enough to leave home. Is she living in the dirty house or did they get a new one? Their relationship sounds more like an arrangement. He gets a "wife" and she gets financial stability and a father figure for her kid. Might not be mail order, but not a huge difference in the arrangement.

They are living at his house. I haven't been over there in a long time so I don't know if it ever got clean. Forever ago, I used to commute 80 miles RT for work and his house was halfway between the job and where I lived so he offered me his guest room on days I felt like I didn't feel like going all the way home. I didn't need a key because he always left his door unlocked. One day, my dumb a-- decided to take him up on that and called to let him know I would be coming through. I walked in the front door and almost stepped on a sandwich. It was just sitting there on a glass plate waiting to be stepped on.

 

[IslandMummy]

It honestly never crossed my mind that dude was going to Chernobyl to cheat. I think his wife realizes don't nobody want him but her either and the jury may still be out on her.

I will have to try and think of another way to explain this because the problem is directly related to how long they have been married and how long he was gone. Not to mention becoming this boys father figure and being like "see you next month" (he left in May and got back last week).

All kidding aside, with the new info, this dude is not in parent mode. I'm guessing he's older so his entitlement is well settled and he sees nothing wrong with picking up and going freely as he used to. It's not his kid and he sees nothing wrong with leaving his wife to do all the things she did while she was widowed and a single parent.

He's not parent material for her kid or any they have together outside of providing money and a roof.

Tell her to send him to Everest on his next trip.

 

[CurliDiva]

Where's that "NO BLACK WOMEN HARMED" image???????????????????????

 

[Crackers Phinn]

All kidding aside, with the new info, this dude is not in parent mode. I'm guessing he's older so his entitlement is well settled and he sees nothing wrong with picking up and going freely as he used to. It's not his kid and he sees nothing wrong with leaving his wife to do all the things she did while she was widowed and a single parent.

He's not parent material for her kid or any they have together outside of providing money and a roof.

Tell her to send him to Everest on his next trip.

You're absolutely right, he's not fit to parent and I'm sure his first choice would have been a childless woman.

I've had 2 friends of 25+ years die in the little over a month since my mother passed. I can't stomach any more funerals for a while.

I can however enjoy the senseless deaths of total strangers doing dumb **** in those other threads tho.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

The only way I can see this being a problem is if my husband doesn't trust me not to cheat or I don't trust him. I don't anticipate there being trust issues in a marriage that early on. If that's the case we shouldn't be married. How can a grown man or woman not manage themselves for 3 weeks? I'm genuinely not seeing where y'all are coming from. School me on what I'm not getting.

Do you have a long term SO? Would you go 3 weeks without seeing them? This has nothing to do with cheating. When you decide to spend the rest of your life as someone's partner you expect them to be physically present. I've been married 10 yrs. for the past 2 yrs Ive gone back home for 4-5 weeks each summer with the kids and my poor husband barely makes it. He can take care of himself but he legitimately misses me. So much that he asked me not to go so long this yr so I'm only going for 3 weeks. Still a long time but it's a deal we made when we moved away. I would never do this in yr 1 and certainly not for a random vacation that a be done anytime.

 

[DarkJoy]

he's about to learn just how long an Asian wife can hold a grudge.

 

[aquajoyice]

Chernobyl tho?

Seems a bit insensitive that he would do something like that or maybe him going away isn't such a bad thing. The fact that he's taking his mother let's me know he's probably annoying.

 

[Stormy]

I'm just trippin' on the fact that it was Chernobyl. I mean really?! You know what @Crackers Phinn I think he lied. Smh... well I guess you'd know. Just don't sound real though.

 

[IslandMummy]

I'm just trippin' on the fact that it was Chernobyl. I mean really?! You know what @Crackers Phinn I think he lied. Smh... well I guess you'd know. Just don't sound real though.

Girl white people in wheelchairs are jumping off cliffs.

Chernobyl is the least traumatic thing I've seen this week.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I'm just trippin' on the fact that it was Chernobyl. I mean really?! You know what @Crackers Phinn I think he lied. Smh... well I guess you'd know. Just don't sound real though.

He posted pics of himself and his mother at the ruins. It really does look like a depressing trip.

I stand corrected though, I checked his page and the entire 3 weeks weren't at Chernobyl they went to other places in the Ukraine and into Russia. I just locked in on Chernobyl because

 

[boudoir]

DH and I don't take vacations or trips away from each other, more than 4-5 days.

My DH going away for several weeks would not sit well with me but I know every relationship operates differently.

Wouldn't work for me and mines.

After 5 days with my family or my divas- I'm good!

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I found this when I looked up is Chernobyl safe

Is it safe?

In a word, no. Chernobyl will not be ‘safe’ for a very long time. In terms of doing the day trip though, exposure to radiation is minimal as long as you obey safety instructions, don’t eat apples from the trees or take home uranium-laced ‘souvenir’ stones.

As a rough measure, you would need to spend four or five days in the exclusion zone to get the same dosage of radiation as you would from an x-ray.

I'm going to have to ask my friend if brought anything back with him. Ya'll know white people think that warning signs are for decoration.