Calling in the One Challenge

metro_qt said:
ummmmm....without reading through everything. ...is there anyone interested in starting this challenge over again with a focus group?

I did this challenge last november with the group here and successfully found who I thought was the one.

we broke up 2 months ago because of his life issues.
(meeting people at different life stages sucks, and he has some sticking points before his life is fully together in the way he wants it to be )

Who knows. ..we may get back together in the future...the far future, lol but I credit this book with getting me mentally ready to meet him,
and now that I've grown even more, I am mentally and emotionally ready to meet someone even better.

Anyone in?
I loved the group atmosphere, it pushed me to complete the book and grow. ..
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I would definitely be interested.
I downloaded the book last night and finished the pre-face, I will finish the introduction today as well.

I'm not necessarily looking to call in "The One" but I do want to be a better me.
 
If we haven't started, I'd like to join as well. I keep meaning to and putting it off, so some accountability would be good.
 
metro_qt said:
ummmmm....without reading through everything. ...is there anyone interested in starting this challenge over again with a focus group?

I did this challenge last november with the group here and successfully found who I thought was the one.

we broke up 2 months ago because of his life issues.
(meeting people at different life stages sucks, and he has some sticking points before his life is fully together in the way he wants it to be )

Who knows. ..we may get back together in the future...the far future, lol but I credit this book with getting me mentally ready to meet him,
and now that I've grown even more, I am mentally and emotionally ready to meet someone even better.

Anyone in?
I loved the group atmosphere, it pushed me to complete the book and grow. ..
Click to expand...

I am interested.
 
This book rocks! It really helped me clear out a lot of clutter mentally, emotionally and literally. And I'm newly engaged too. We literally met right after me starting to read this book, and I think it helped me be more vulnerable and receptive to a mate. The truth is love whether it be for yourself or someone else takes a lot of hard work and this book helps get you on the path to being more loving and lovable.

God bless ladies!!! :)
 
Xerxes said:
This book rocks! It really helped me clear out a lot of clutter mentally, emotionally and literally. And I'm newly engaged too. We literally met right after me starting to read this book, and I think it helped me be more vulnerable and receptive to a mate. The truth is love whether it be for yourself or someone else takes a lot of hard work and this book helps get you on the path to being more loving and lovable.

God bless ladies!!! :)
Click to expand...
Whoa! Gurl, spill!!
 
caribeandiva said:
Whoa! Gurl, spill!!
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There's not a whole lot to say. I really was frustrated about not being married yet when I got the book, so I read it totally not expecting it to work. Meanwhile, I met my future husband but really put the book to work.. The exercise where you forgive the people who have hurt you in the past, really spoke to me. There's so much closure that this book helps you ignite.

Once I finished reading the book, I felt so much better that I bought each of my girlfriends' a copy which none of them has read a year later! lol

This book really helped me let go of baggage and love myself that much more fully and be more proactive about being loving to others. Getting engaged is just a byproduct of me being more engaged with life. Once I stopped being upset about a mate, he showed up but I was so busy enjoying my new lease on life that he was not the big reward.

The huge reward is you! Unconditionally loving yourself that much more.

That's all I got! lol
 
Xerxes said:
Once I finished reading the book, I felt so much better that I bought each of my girlfriends' a copy which none of them has read a year later! lol
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I had one friend who kept saying how much she wanted to read it because I kept raving about it. I bought it for her and she never opened it either!! I was pissed. Oh well.

Xerxes said:
The huge reward is you! Unconditionally loving yourself that much more.

That's all I got! lol
Click to expand...
That's all? Girl, that was plenty!! Thank you for sharing. It proves to me yet again that it ALL starts with YOU. There's no way around that. Funny how once you let go of your anger/anxiety about being single THEN he showed up. And you didn't even notice. :lol: I think what probably kept him attracted to you is that you did NOT make him your whole world or focus all of your attention on the relationship. You had a full life and he was just a part of it.
 
Xerxes said:
This book rocks! It really helped me clear out a lot of clutter mentally, emotionally and literally. And I'm newly engaged too. We literally met right after me starting to read this book, and I think it helped me be more vulnerable and receptive to a mate. The truth is love whether it be for yourself or someone else takes a lot of hard work and this book helps get you on the path to being more loving and lovable.

God bless ladies!!! :)
Click to expand...

OH wow!! Congratulations girl!!! I'm so happy for you!!!! :yay: :yay:




Xerxes said:
There's not a whole lot to say. I really was frustrated about not being married yet when I got the book, so I read it totally not expecting it to work. Meanwhile, I met my future husband but really put the book to work.. The exercise where you forgive the people who have hurt you in the past, really spoke to me. There's so much closure that this book helps you ignite.

Once I finished reading the book, I felt so much better that I bought each of my girlfriends' a copy which none of them has read a year later! lol

This book really helped me let go of baggage and love myself that much more fully and be more proactive about being loving to others. Getting engaged is just a byproduct of me being more engaged with life. Once I stopped being upset about a mate, he showed up but I was so busy enjoying my new lease on life that he was not the big reward.

The huge reward is you! Unconditionally loving yourself that much more.

That's all I got! lol
Click to expand...

That's AWE$OME @Xerxes ! :grin:

This book is literally a life-changer. I'm only half-way through, but it has already done WONDERS for me. I am digging back into the book after taking a 6-month (or more?) hiatus lol (this year has just been super crazy for me :dizzy:), but already I feel SO much better! It's like, I picked right back up where I left off and started reading and doing the exercises again. I feel like I am SO much more self-aware now, and I know myself so much better. I can only imagine how much MORE I'll come to know when I reach the end.

If you read the reviews on Amazon.com for this book there are SO many women who have posted the same sentiment...they found someone while either reading this book, or not too long after finishing it. It's amazing! :grin:

I can't wait until I finish it.
 
I have to dust this book off. I read it years ago, it's not just about finding your mate but more so getting you right. I never finished it but I think it's time I put some dedication here as one of my goals for next year is to be in a committed relationship.
 
I think it's time for me to actually read the copy of this book that I bought and do the exercises.

I came to the realization recently that I have never had my ideal fulfilling and romantic union because I have failed to make love a priority in my life. As sad as it is to admit, sometimes that includes self-love, too. My priorities for my life were experience, freedom, and independence. My current priorities are love, health, and financial security. Love finally made the top three! In fact, I can say with confidence that I intend to attract "the one" within a year.

I'm very excited about moving through this book. I read this thread completely at work, and I noticed how the writing style of the women who finished this book changed. Did anyone else notice that? Several posters seemed much more confident and at ease, almost. It was very interesting to notice someone's growth in a thread like this. I am open to this experience, and interested in learning about myself as I make my way through this process.

Is there anyone else who is still reading and will be posting in this thread? I really enjoyed reading other people's experiences and I would like to be able to help someone else by sharing my experiences here, too.
 
prettybyrd said:
d I noticed how the writing style of the women who finished this book changed. Did anyone else notice that? Several posters seemed much more confident and at ease, almost. It was very interesting to notice someone's growth in a thread like this
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Really? That's a very interesting observation. I know for myself i felt a lot more open and relaxed after finishing the book. I felt a lot less guarded. Things that I thought we a big deal before just didn't seem that important anymore. I got more brave and fearless.
 
I started reading this book when we first started the challenged. I think I got to Chapter 3 or 4 and then it feel to to wayside. About 3 months later I met my now DH online and we just got married this past April. I don't know if it was the book or not but something finally clicked
 
GodsPromises said:
I started reading this book when we first started the challenged. I think I got to Chapter 3 or 4 and then it feel to to wayside. About 3 months later I met my now DH online and we just got married this past April. I don't know if it was the book or not but something finally clicked
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Best wishes, @GodsPromises! You look lovely in your pic.

ETA: I stopped reading this book in December after I met a man I really liked and fell in love with him. We hit it off really well and I felt confident that we were on the right track. Turned out we weren't, and it broke my heart.

After three days of crying and allowing myself to feel every bit of pain and disappointment one can muster for a relationship that only lasted 5 weeks, I met a wonderful man. I was going to read the book while talking to him, but I didn't. During the three months that we spent talking (we met online) I became quite interested in him, but I couldn't answer what my feelings were for him when my friends would ask if he was "the one" or if I was in love.

I was excited about knowing him but I couldn't define what I felt beyond that. I even questioned if it was possible to know that you are in love with someone after only three months, and my dearest friend reminded me that I had fallen in love with a man I knew for 5 weeks, so yes, it was.

So then we met. It was great. I truly enjoyed his company, and was very physically attracted to him, but again, I couldn't really say that I loved him. I liked him. I respected him. I admired him. I could not understand my lukewarm feelings for a man who seemed to be everything that I always wanted. And truly, this man was everything I thought I was "calling" for. He's handsome, well educated, intelligent without being condescending, open-minded, considerate, funny, and most of all comfortable with who he is. So why didn't I know what I felt for him outside of general care and friendship?

About a month after meeting, we met an impasse. He didn't want a long distance relationship and I didn't want to fight for him. I was willing initially, but then I decided that it would be better to give in because there's no use in fighting for a man who is not my man. There were a few other reasons, but in the end, we parted.

So, being in my lone state, and seeing this thread bumped, I returned to this book last night. I began reading with the intention to read through the entire book before Sunday, and then re-read and do the exercises week by week starting on Sunday.

The first thing I did when I woke this morning was read this book, and by Jove, I had a breakthrough!

I was reading Lesson 19, "Reclaiming the Disowned Self", and I felt like this chapter was written especially for me. When I got to the part about Gerry dating the musicians and singer-song writers, I recognized myself, and I realized why I could never place my feelings for the man I had just been talking to. I was unable to say that I had feelings for him because I didn't want to be with him as much as I wanted to be him. He lives a life and has a profession that I want. I was interested in him because it was a great glimpse into the life I would have had if I had studied what he did and pursued my career and interests the way he did.

So then I began thinking a bit more: If I spent time developing my professional life, pursued my interests openly, and then began taking control over my career and moving into the profession the way that I would like, won't I become "the one" I am calling for? And then, won't this make me more likely to be able to love someone openly for who he is and not because I find his fulfillment of his goals and dreams a satisfying consolation prize because I am not brave enough to seek fulfillment of my own? Of course the answer to both questions is YES!

So that is what I am going to do. The one I am calling for has shown up, and I am she. I realize that a fulfilling, meaningful, and loving relationship with another person is not going to be possible until I learn to be in relationship with myself. Will a man show up at some point in the future (perhaps before year end) who will be the complement to the woman I've allowed myself to become? I am confident that he will. But right now I recognize that I'm The One. The right man will come along at the right time, and all will be well.

Sorry so long. :)
 
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jprayze said:
Hi Ladies! I miss our group too! I guess all our responses have disappeared into cyberspace:cry3::drunk::spinning:

I still haven't finished the book, but I'm still reading off and on. And quoting it to my friends etc. I'm not doing all the exercises. Some I just kind of do mentally. If I don't think they really apply, I skip it.

The most powerful excerpt in the book to date for me was about Yolanda with the powerful, take-care-of-business approach to life in Lesson 14, but she had to learn to balance that masculine energy and that is something that I have been applying and practicing.

I want to share you that there is someone new in my life. I met him on an online dating site. Because he approached me differently than anyone else, I didn't even want to meet him. He had this strong confidence that took me by surprise. He said I might be his next relationship IF I ACT RIGHT. How could he say that to me??? I said you must have made a mistake? I thought he typed wrong I asked again; He said the same thing.

I reluctantly met him; I just wasn't too excited. But I decided to see him again. That was the end of April and we are still dating. We have all types of wonderful dates even went on a cruise! We recently made it "official (exclusive) " LOL Things are good and he's a breath of fresh air in every way. I will keep you all posted. I'm prayerful and hopeful that he is the One.
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Just came back to the thread to say it has been over a year and I'm still dating him! It has been an amazing and beautiful year. I just may be the one! ;-)

I never finished reading the book though (smh) but I did learn a lot. I think it changed the way I approach the relationship, how I respond and I think I'm a better mate because of it.
 
Good Morning Ladies!!! I just purchased the book and copied the sample to read at work. I can't wait to get started. I am in a new relationship(almost 2 months), and would like to improve on myself and see if he is the One. I will be back daily for inspiration and support and to let you all know how I am doing with the book.
 
The amount of synchronicity and confirmations I am experiencing while reading this book is a little scary. lol!

I'm intentionally not reading the exercises because I want my responses to be honest and spontaneous, but I am really excited to start.

I think I will go out today and buy a new journal specifically for this book.

Good luck, @prettykinks !
 
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