Calling in the One Challenge

[Crystalicequeen123]

I was a part of the challenge here on the board but I stopped posting. I made it alll the way to the end of the book, but I did not do the last activity.

I thought that each activity was helpful on it's own, but I don't agree with most of her views in the book. In the beginning I saw some results, but as I came closer to the end I realized that it was something different altogether blocking me from meeting "the one".

I am currently in therapy for depression (it was triggered acutely) and I believe that is what is ultimately keeping me from landing a great relationship at this time.

Otoh, I am dating someone. He's great and has brought something awesome to my life, but he ain't "it", so I believe this will be ending sometime soon.

Anyway, I think the book is great for "spiritual" starters. Someone who is brand new to all of these ideas.

Thanks for being honest in your assessment of the book. I'm glad you were able to find out the root cause of your roadblock to love. Hopefully now with this knowledge and the help that you will be getting with therapy, you will be able to knock those walls down and eventually find the RIGHT guy for you in the future!

I agree, that sometimes the blocks to love can be something deeper. Good for you for finishing the book and the exercises though! That in itself is a huge accomplishment because this book is NOT for the "faint of heart"! I can definitely attest to that.... I'm only half-way through and I still struggle with the book sometimes.

I actually think that I've suffered from acute low-grade depression off and on over the years (maybe even now... ) and this COULD be a block to love as well. Although, I will say that I DO know of people who are depressed who are even in relationships, so sometimes it's not the end of the world even if you do suffer from depression.

Thanks to this book it's become clearer to me that my roadblocks to love are more so fear, anxiety, fear of rejection, and a distorted view of self-worth (not feeling "good enough" for a really GOOD guy).... But I'm working on all of these things, and so far this book has been a GOD-send!

I HAVE to finish this book...even if it takes me two years ... I am NOT a quiter. No matter how painful the memories this book may bring up, I intend to finish.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

In terms of energy/beliefs it really feels like you've lost 10 lbs when you finish.

YES!!!! This is exactly how I feel even though I haven't finished the book! I feel like I had this distorted view of my childhood, and past experiences w/failed romances, and now I feel like I have SO much LESS baggage. I DO feel 10 lbs lighter emotionally lol , but I also feel like I know I need to lose more lol... I need to lose about 10 more lbs and THEN I think I'll be good. I'm sure the rest of those "10 lbs" will melt off when I finish the book. I can't wait to get to the end.

 

[Kimbosheart]

YES!!!! This is exactly how I feel even though I haven't finished the book! I feel like I had this distorted view of my childhood, and past experiences w/failed romances, and now I feel like I have SO much LESS baggage. I DO feel 10 lbs lighter emotionally lol , but I also feel like I know I need to lose more lol... I need to lose about 10 more lbs and THEN I think I'll be good. I'm sure the rest of those "10 lbs" will melt off when I finish the book. I can't wait to get to the end.

Exactly. I think 10 lbs of mental emotional stuff was right for me. It was like a cleanse. I then cleansed off another 5-10lbs by cleaning up my space with the other book. Another analogy is I see my reflection in the mirror better with clear eyes. I corrected my Vision and cleaned the mirror.

 

[caribeandiva]

Any updates ladies? As for me the guy I met during this challenge he wants to give it another shot. I'm all for it.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Not reading the book, can't find it and no man.
I live a very full passionate life but something is missing.

 

[caribeandiva]

Not reading the book, can't find it and no man.
I live a very full passionate life but something is missing.

I'm confused. You lost your book and because of that you're single?

 

[CurlyMoo]

I'm confused. You lost your book and because of that you're single?

No

 

[Kimbosheart]

@CurlyMoo I'd like to encourage you to complete the books. If you know your passions that will make the exercises easier and shorter for you. To be honest, you may not get a man out of this book and you may not find what's missing but you will have an even more open mind and spirit to the possibilities and it will start you down a great personal path.

For me, it opened my eyes to forks in the roads, it also gave me a good basis for choosing the best fork for me. That path has lead to other discoveries and other journeys. I don't regret it one bit.

 

[CurlyMoo]

@CurlyMoo I'd like to encourage you to complete the books. If you know your passions that will make the exercises easier and shorter for you. To be honest, you may not get a man out of this book and you may not find what's missing but you will have an even more open mind and spirit to the possibilities and it will start you down a great personal path.

For me, it opened my eyes to forks in the roads, it also gave me a good basis for choosing the best fork for me. That path has lead to other discoveries and other journeys. I don't regret it one bit.

Thank you your post is very positive and encouraging.
I will put more effort into finishing this book for the reasons you stated.
It's actually a good read overall and very enlightening.

Do you think this book will also help draw more positive people into my life in general?
Not just a husband lover. I am looking to expand my circle of friends and acquaintances.

 

[Kimbosheart]

Absolutely, 100% YES!!!

You uncover so much about yourself, and learn the unique reasons why tick. I've taken a ton of assessments through my job, but this one was different since it was self guided and open ended. I probably should do the book again now that I'm at a different point on my personal path. But the point for you is that starting to uncover those things about you, increases your compassion for yourself. That love and forgiveness you hold for yourself really does spill into other areas of your life. It removes the negative energies and attracts the positive to you.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Thank you your post is very positive and encouraging.
I will put more effort into finishing this book for the reasons you stated.
It's actually a good read overall and very enlightening.

Do you think this book will also help draw more positive people into my life in general?
Not just a husband lover. I am looking to expand my circle of friends and acquaintances.

@CurlyMoo Yes, please....don't give up. Go at your own pace with this book, and just continue to read it and do the exercises. I had to take a LONG hiatus this summer due to studying for exams and courses and so I was SUPER swamped with studying for months, as well as working my regular FT job.

But now, my schedule has cleared up a little bit, so I'm eager to start picking up my CITO book again and continue on with the chapters and exercises.

Idk about anyone else, but I actually looked FORWARD to the exercises, the deep self-reflection, and the writings. YES, it was a LOT of writing/typing, but so far it has been SO worth it, and I'm only 50% in with the book.

I feel like this book has literally changed my LIFE! I can't even explain it. I haven't even finished it yet, but already I feel happier, more optimistic about the future (with or without a man), and I also don't feel as "damaged" or like I have "baggage" from previous childhood dissapointments/or past relationship fails anymore. It's amazing! I feel so much more "light-hearted". I can't explain it! But it's almost as though I went to therapy and got some things cleared up. I STILL have a lot of work to do on myself and in the book, but I feel like my VIEW of myself has changed somewhat. Not that I used to view myself negatively, but I think that due to the past painful heartbreaks I had been through, I almost felt like I was "damaged" somehow, or that I would never find someone. But now, I feel SO much more hopeful about finding someone and I don't feel as "boggled down" with "woe is me" thoughts. I feel SO much more positive now, and I KNOW I'm a PRIZE.

So please, don't give up! Even if you don't find a man w/in a year after finishing the book, it will definitely make you a more open, optimistic, and hopeful person all over in the long run. I think it helps the reader to have more self-confidence and self-worth. It is the DEEPEST "Self-Help" book I have ever read, and I think that's why it's so effective. You are in a sense focusing on YOURSELF. YOU are "the one". And this book really helps the reader to come to love herself deeply, and so those other things that have happened in life aren't even a blip on the radar screen anymore. I haven't even finished the book and I already feel this strongly about it. I can't even IMAGINE how much of a changed person I will become after I completely finish it and the exercises. It's not for the faint of heart (that's for sure lol), but it is TOTALLY worth it imo.

 

[caribeandiva]

^^ well said as usual @Crystalicequeen123 ! And @CurlyMoo As the others have said it's a great book that helps you to figure yourself out. It helped me to understand why I do what I do. Why I react to situations and people the way I do and how to change that if it's not serving me. That was my focus when I read it. I honestly did NOT expect to get a man out of it. I was very happily single for almost 4 years at that point. Finding a man is just icing on the cake so to speak.

 

[Kimbosheart]

IIRC my relationship did get better while I was doing the challenge. But it also didn't last because it wasn't anchored. Things actually got worse for awhile during my little journey but now things are better than they ever were with hopes for more. When I was doing all that self searching, I was a bear to deal with and he was really patient with me.

 

[Britt]

Absolutely, 100% YES!!!

You uncover so much about yourself, and learn the unique reasons why tick. I've taken a ton of assessments through my job, but this one was different since it was self guided and open ended. I probably should do the book again now that I'm at a different point on my personal path. But the point for you is that starting to uncover those things about you, increases your compassion for yourself. That love and forgiveness you hold for yourself really does spill into other areas of your life. It removes the negative energies and attracts the positive to you.

I read the last few posts and @Crystalicequeen123 posts. I think I can see why I never really got into the book before I think I remember something about the arts and crafts part in the beginning and I put it down, but the questions... goodness! I picked up the book and just started from Week 2. These past 3 days of lessons are heavy. These are self help questions that I've seen before in other books/places ... really food for thought and it takes a lot of honest introspection. These are heavy therapy like questions. Some of the questions I kinda come up stumped and I have to really think and sometimes the answers may come to me later in the day or at another time.. with this morning's lesson on toxic ties as soon as I read it the exact person I have a tie with was blaring in my mind.

I think it takes time and honesty to do this book, not just read it. But to journal along with it. I signed up for an online journal where I've typing my thoughts and I think now I'm ready to really plunge into this book and do the exercises and write/type out my thoughts. Even as I read some of the lessons certain things/situations/people/thoughts about myself pop up. I'm only on my third lesson in week 2 and I'm like whewww at what's to come further in this book.

 

[lux10023]

very well said..im married and this book changed the game for me..very insightful an prompts you to dig deep within....this was my stocking stuffer gift for all of the women in my life..something about this booked changed my thought process and i want others to experience and dig deep within the way they've been operating in their current relationships or transitioning into a new relationship...

Absolutely, 100% YES!!!

You uncover so much about yourself, and learn the unique reasons why tick. I've taken a ton of assessments through my job, but this one was different since it was self guided and open ended. I probably should do the book again now that I'm at a different point on my personal path. But the point for you is that starting to uncover those things about you, increases your compassion for yourself. That love and forgiveness you hold for yourself really does spill into other areas of your life. It removes the negative energies and attracts the positive to you.

 

[Britt]

very well said..im married and this book changed the game for me..very insightful an prompts you to dig deep within....this was my stocking stuffer gift for all of the women in my life..something about this booked changed my thought process and i want others to experience and dig deep within the way they've been operating in their current relationships or transitioning into a new relationship...

I agree. I just started to do this book again and do it seriously with the journal entries. Before, I'd pick up the book and read it and put it down always. This go around, I'm actually starting to type up journal entries.

@lux10023 how did the women in your life receive it? This book is like straight therapy to me lol. I just started at week 2 and I'm only a few lessons in and I see some synchronicities already. I don't think this book is for everyone b/c you reallllly have to go within and dig and some aren't ready for that. I have an older friend who would benefit greatly from this but I don't think she'd be able to handle this at all . I wouldn't recommend it to her. Did you do this book before or after your DH? Did it improve your relationship with him?

 

[lux10023]

@Britt

its hard to offer good reading material that can be useful to ppl as they feel like everything is great, their way is working so be it..but i want healthier relationships with the men in my fellow amigos lives and my life as well so i went thru the book first prior to gifting and i kinda stalker made them read it so we could discuss at our dinner outings and etc

true @ go within and dig..one has to the open to receive the lessons this book is giving...so unless someone is emotionally open it may not work...or emotionally lazy with self reflecting

i read this book after dh...it improved me which improved us as a couple..i just felt emotionally lighter if that makes sense...once i changed the energy in our marriage changed because we as women are so powerful.....i simply chilled the *** out and concentrated on making sure im happy and fulfilled with myself which then led me to be open and free and "light emotionally"

also this book forces you to reflect on what you want..often times we say what we want but we are not living it...this book and the exercises were a good read and i held myself accountable because i wanted a marriage that was forever lasting versus ok 5 yrs done 10 yrs done...also i wanted to dig deep and touch upon past relationships with men that went left and how i played a role in that..ive dated some pretty well known men and power players so my relationship history has been interesting so to speak lolmao

good read...i finished it over time and didn't rush i read each chapter when i had enough time to do the activities and etc....

I agree. I just started to do this book again and do it seriously with the journal entries. Before, I'd pick up the book and read it and put it down always. This go around, I'm actually starting to type up journal entries.

@lux10023 how did the women in your life receive it? This book is like straight therapy to me lol. I just started at week 2 and I'm only a few lessons in and I see some synchronicities already. I don't think this book is for everyone b/c you reallllly have to go within and dig and some aren't ready for that. I have an older friend who would benefit greatly from this but I don't think she'd be able to handle this at all . I wouldn't recommend it to her. Did you do this book before or after your DH? Did it improve your relationship with him?

 

[Saga]

So I read through this thread and decided to buy the book. I picked up this book to get some more insight into myself. I finished the first week but have been on a break for a few days, hopefully starting school next week wont put me off track too much.

 

[Britt]

@Britt

its hard to offer good reading material that can be useful to ppl as they feel like everything is great, their way is working so be it..but i want healthier relationships with the men in my fellow amigos lives and my life as well so i went thru the book first prior to gifting and i kinda stalker made them read it so we could discuss at our dinner outings and etc

true @ go within and dig..one has to the open to receive the lessons this book is giving...so unless someone is emotionally open it may not work...or emotionally lazy with self reflecting

i read this book after dh...it improved me which improved us as a couple..i just felt emotionally lighter if that makes sense...once i changed the energy in our marriage changed because we as women are so powerful.....i simply chilled the *** out and concentrated on making sure im happy and fulfilled with myself which then led me to be open and free and "light emotionally"

also this book forces you to reflect on what you want..often times we say what we want but we are not living it...this book and the exercises were a good read and i held myself accountable because i wanted a marriage that was forever lasting versus ok 5 yrs done 10 yrs done...also i wanted to dig deep and touch upon past relationships with men that went left and how i played a role in that..ive dated some pretty well known men and power players so my relationship history has been interesting so to speak lolmao

good read...i finished it over time and didn't rush i read each chapter when i had enough time to do the activities and etc....

Thank you for all this Lux
I agree, this book isn't for someone who isn't really introspective and willing to really go within for answers. I'm glad to hear it shifted things in your marriage.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Thank you for all this Lux
I agree, this book isn't for someone who isn't really introspective and willing to really go within for answers. I'm glad to hear it shifted things in your marriage.

YUP.... THIS in a nutshell.

This book is NOT for the "faint of heart". Even I with a background and degree in psychology (even engaged in a little counseling in the past!) found this book to go deeper than even my therapist did when I was attending sessions!!

This book is definitely not for the faint-hearted, and it sometimes goes places that may be/feel uncomfortable. But when you work through the exercies and keep chugging along....you WILL reap the benefits and see the results. Even if you don't get a bf right away, you will definitely FEEL so much better about yourself. To the point where I'm sure that a boyfriend won't be TOO far off.

Even @caribeandiva got into a relationship not too long after starting to read this book, so this book WORKS ladies!! Trust me on this!! Her experience is not unusual. Read the reviews on this book!

It's almost scary!!

Just a few of the reviews:


53 of 55 people found the following review helpful
"called in" my husband
Bymariposaon February 24, 2011
Format: Paperback
this book "works." I met and married my (2nd) husband after re-reading and re-reading and re-reading this book. Each time you read it, more of it or different parts will speak to you. It didn't "work" when I first bought the book, because I simply wasn't ready. But when I was ready, so was the Universe!


61 of 70 people found the following review helpful
This works!
ByP. Russellon November 12, 2007
Format: Paperback
You don't just read this book - this book gives you a step by step practice to open your life to love. I think I've personally sold 30 of copies of this book just because I can't stand seeing my otherwise successful single friends over 30 languish, feeling alone and unlovable. I've seen amazing transformations - from alone to alter-bound in a couple of months after finishing this book. I've given it to my massage therapist who ended up moving in with her formerly unavailable boyfriend. My love-addicted gay friend is now happily engaged. I could go on and on... Anyone who doesn't understand why they never go out on dates, why there are "no good men/women out there," or why their relationships never work out, needs this book!


31 of 34 people found the following review helpful
Try Me I work
ByHappy Grannyon June 26, 2010
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Married for 33 yrs and divorced for 16. Where are the men I could be dating? After just 4 weeks reading, writing and dedication,"Calling in the one" has helped me understand what keeps these relationships in other women's lives. It's a look at myself, what I truly want and an opening of my heart to giving and receiving love. Already, I am interacting with men instead of running.


39 of 44 people found the following review helpful
You are the one, when you are the best you you will attract the best partner !!
ByReal Dealon August 13, 2012
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
This is an awesome read. I would encourage readers to broaden their perspective and not see this as a "find a man" book. It is not about finding anyone bit more about empowering your true self, being an authentic you and being the best you. While it is about attractive love, the notion is it still all begins with you. This book is for married and single people, for men and for women. It is for someone who is really ready, open and coachable. You will take a deep dive into your "stuff" and if you aren't ready, you won't be able to make the shift. As I write this review I am on day 47 . The day I purchased the book and did the first exercise someone who I loved and cared for dearly showed up in my life to apologize for the way he handled our parting ways. He came correct and sincere. We did not get back together but we are great friends!! In the second week I begin to be approached more and more by strangers , men who typically would go unrecognized started to speak to me. I started to experience an even greater shift. I have encountered a whole new world of people. On the friday after the release ritual I met the man I am now dating. Oh how sweet it is. Even in my interactions with friends and family, i stopped the "audution" and regained my damn power. I don't think I ever played victim , but there were certainly times that I stood on the sidelines. This book is about being alive and aware and making authentic moves and giving and receiving love...on purpose. Get the book, denounce any preconceived notions, do the work on yourself, you owe it to yourself to be the best you

 

[caribeandiva]

@Crystalicequeen123 No one is more surprised than me about me being in a relationship! I feel weird even saying it.

 

[caribeandiva]

I forgot to add, I can't wait to see how this book changed your life once you're done with it @Crystalicequeen123 . You're such an analytical person (as I am) so I can't wait to hear your insights. I miss the private group where we could share super personal stuff.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I forgot to add, I can't wait to see how this book changed your life once you're done with it @Crystalicequeen123 . You're such an analytical person (as I am) so I can't wait to hear your insights. I miss the private group where we could share super personal stuff.

@caribeandiva
Awwwww!!!! Thanks girl!

Yea I'm like still only at the half-point in that book because I took a LONG extended break. I had waaaaay too much going on this past spring and summer (had to move, got laid off, got a new job, then got ANOTHER new job lol, studying hard for a course, sister had a baby, traveling out of town, etc.)

Now that things have started to slow down a little, I am thinking of picking it back up again either late this month or early next month for sure. I definitely miss reading the book and doing the exercises. It was like my own private "me time". I have learned SO much about myself in such a short period of time while reading this book and doing the exercises. I cannot WAIT until I'm done w/the book and have completed everything, because if I already feel THIS strong conviction and I haven't even finished the book yet, then I can't even imagine what other transformations are in store for me after I actually complete this book.

I'll make sure to post here or PM you my "findings". I do really REALLY miss our nice little Group

 

[jprayze]

Hi Ladies! I miss our group too! I guess all our responses have disappeared into cyberspace

I still haven't finished the book, but I'm still reading off and on. And quoting it to my friends etc. I'm not doing all the exercises. Some I just kind of do mentally. If I don't think they really apply, I skip it.

The most powerful excerpt in the book to date for me was about Yolanda with the powerful, take-care-of-business approach to life in Lesson 14, but she had to learn to balance that masculine energy and that is something that I have been applying and practicing.

I want to share you that there is someone new in my life. I met him on an online dating site. Because he approached me differently than anyone else, I didn't even want to meet him. He had this strong confidence that took me by surprise. He said I might be his next relationship IF I ACT RIGHT. How could he say that to me??? I said you must have made a mistake? I thought he typed wrong I asked again; He said the same thing.

I reluctantly met him; I just wasn't too excited. But I decided to see him again. That was the end of April and we are still dating. We have all types of wonderful dates even went on a cruise! We recently made it "official (exclusive) " LOL Things are good and he's a breath of fresh air in every way. I will keep you all posted. I'm prayerful and hopeful that he is the One.

 

[caribeandiva]

Hi Ladies! I miss our group too! I guess all our responses have disappeared into cyberspace

I still haven't finished the book, but I'm still reading off and on. And quoting it to my friends etc. I'm not doing all the exercises. Some I just kind of do mentally. If I don't think they really apply, I skip it.

The most powerful excerpt in the book to date for me was about Yolanda with the powerful, take-care-of-business approach to life in Lesson 14, but she had to learn to balance that masculine energy and that is something that I have been applying and practicing.

I want to share you that there is someone new in my life. I met him on an online dating site. Because he approached me differently than anyone else, I didn't even want to meet him. He had this strong confidence that took me by surprise. He said I might be his next relationship IF I ACT RIGHT. How could he say that to me??? I said you must have made a mistake? I thought he typed wrong I asked again; He said the same thing.

I reluctantly met him; I just wasn't too excited. But I decided to see him again. That was the end of April and we are still dating. We have all types of wonderful dates even went on a cruise! We recently made it "official (exclusive) " LOL Things are good and he's a breath of fresh air in every way. I will keep you all posted. I'm prayerful and hopeful that he is the One.

Get it girl!! I was actually wondering how you were doing. You guy sure is ballsy huh?!

 

[Britt]

@jprayze yayyyy!!!!! I'm glad to hear that, and I like his initial response to you

Ladies who've done this book .... did you notice any synchronicities/oddities things change while doing the book? I don't necessarily mean with men, I mean ppl/relationships in general.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Hi Ladies! I miss our group too! I guess all our responses have disappeared into cyberspace

I still haven't finished the book, but I'm still reading off and on. And quoting it to my friends etc. I'm not doing all the exercises. Some I just kind of do mentally. If I don't think they really apply, I skip it.

The most powerful excerpt in the book to date for me was about Yolanda with the powerful, take-care-of-business approach to life in Lesson 14, but she had to learn to balance that masculine energy and that is something that I have been applying and practicing.

I want to share you that there is someone new in my life. I met him on an online dating site. Because he approached me differently than anyone else, I didn't even want to meet him. He had this strong confidence that took me by surprise. He said I might be his next relationship IF I ACT RIGHT. How could he say that to me??? I said you must have made a mistake? I thought he typed wrong I asked again; He said the same thing.

I reluctantly met him; I just wasn't too excited. But I decided to see him again. That was the end of April and we are still dating. We have all types of wonderful dates even went on a cruise! We recently made it "official (exclusive) " LOL Things are good and he's a breath of fresh air in every way. I will keep you all posted. I'm prayerful and hopeful that he is the One.

WOW girl!!! He's pretty gutsy starting a conversation like that online! Was he just being playful??

What's his personality like??


Btw, congratulations!!! That makes 2 members here who have gotten into relationships after reading this book.

Do you think you would have been attracted to him or gone on a second date w/him if you had NOT read this book???

I need to finish this book goodness!

@jprayze yayyyy!!!!! I'm glad to hear that, and I like his initial response to you

Ladies who've done this book .... did you notice any synchronicities/oddities things change while doing the book? I don't necessarily mean with men, I mean ppl/relationships in general.

When you say "synchronicities" or "oddities" what do you mean exactly?? When I hear the word sychronicity I think of things being "in sync" with each other. Like, things being the same or happening in tandem w/something else. Are you talking more about things being coincidental?? Like, many coincidences happening in life??

And what do you mean by oddities? I'm sorry, I just want to make sure I understand your question before I answer it!

 

[Lovely_Lady82]

I'm so glad ya'll are still keeping this thread alive. I started the challenge back in January, but only got to the third week. A few days ago I told myself that I need to finish this book! I was thinking about starting over with day one. I remember reading that going through the book shouldn't take more than 6 months. What do ya'll think?

 

[jprayze]

Get it girl!! I was actually wondering how you were doing. You guy sure is ballsy huh?!

Yeah I was like no one talks to me like that! lol

And in our initial phone conversations, he would say things that I didn't like. Telling me his impressions of me and I would get offended because I didn't like someone I barely knew making conclusions about my life.

Right or wrong, I was like don't do that! You don't know me. Lol

 

[jprayze]

@jprayze yayyyy!!!!! I'm glad to hear that, and I like his initial response to you

Ladies who've done this book .... did you notice any synchronicities/oddities things change while doing the book? I don't necessarily mean with men, I mean ppl/relationships in general.

I think a lot has changed for me starting with the first exercises...opening myself to give and receive love. I actually repeat that a lot as I go thru my day just making sure I'm open. And that means letting down my defenses and I'm more confident in sharing my feelings with everyone, family, friends etc.