Calling in the One Challenge

I definitely need to schedule a regular time to get in this book. Probably will send a reminder to my phone.
 
Any updates or epiphanies? I've been having a hard time...I feel like I'm getting too reflective on things that I've done wrong to the men in my life...who were just trying to love me and I wouldn't allow it. I'm really thinking of writing a few apology texts/emails, but don't want to do more harm than good.
 
Duchesse said:
Any updates or epiphanies? I've been having a hard time...I feel like I'm getting too reflective on things that I've done wrong to the men in my life...who were just trying to love me and I wouldn't allow it. I'm really thinking of writing a few apology texts/emails, but don't want to do more harm than good.
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I seriously could have written this.
I have an ex who I treated really horribly when he claimed to love me and I didn't accept it. Long story short, we do not talk and he avoids me like I've got a contagious disease (we work together). Yes I treated him badly but I have apologized (years ago) and I'm not the same person I used to be . At this point, if he has an aversion towards me, it has more to do with him than it does with me. @ crystal helped me see that. I wish I could give you advice on whether or not to send those apologies because it's tricky. On one hand an apology is courteous but sometimes apologies only increase pain, pouring salt in wounds so to speak.
 
I am reflecting on something from the first week based on a conversation I had recently. One of the tasks that I was only able to half-way complete was to literally make space for "the one". I dont have space in my closet, at all. I got another bedside table and a lamp. That was it. This week, though, I was talking to a friend about my schedule and realized that I didnt have time for anything but a dating relationship. I can date casually on the weekends but I dont have time for the demands of a relationship in my daily life. So im going to endeavor to make space in my schedule for more than just weekend dating.
 
girlonfire said:
I seriously could have written this. I have an ex who I treated really horribly when he claimed to love me and I didn't accept it. Long story short, we do not talk and he avoids me like I've got a contagious disease (we work together). Yes I treated him badly but I have apologized (years ago) and I'm not the same person I used to be . At this point, if he has an aversion towards me, it has more to do with him than it does with me. @ crystal helped me see that. I wish I could give you advice on whether or not to send those apologies because it's tricky. On one hand an apology is courteous but sometimes apologies only increase pain, pouring salt in wounds so to speak.
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If it helps to write the apology and not actually send them, you can try that. Some of the exercises recommend that in the book.
 
Duchesse said:
Any updates or epiphanies? I've been having a hard time...I feel like I'm getting too reflective on things that I've done wrong to the men in my life...who were just trying to love me and I wouldn't allow it. I'm really thinking of writing a few apology texts/emails, but don't want to do more harm than good.
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I do a morning meditation where I ask others to forgive me for any wrongs Ive done and I forgive others I believe have wronged me. I dont actually say it to the person but it has helped me feel clear.

Ive done it in person a few times and each time it was an awkward situation where the person responded as if what I was talking about was a nonfactor or I was stupid for bringing it up. It might be because there was a long time span between the incidents and my apology. You know what it'll take for you to feel clear, though.
 
jade998 said:
We are completely on the same page. And I noticed that what this book does is challenge you on what you think your 'type' is. And are you actually looking to love and be loved.
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Yes!!!

Once you're really ready for love, it comes and knocks you flat on your back!

I really do love him. It scares the crap out of me to say it, but we're committed. We're looking at homes and talking about getting married next year. Until I get a ring though, I'm not gonna get all giddy lol

<back to lurk mode> lmao
 
Xerxes said:
Yes!!!

Once you're really ready for love, it comes and knocks you flat on your back!

I really do love him. It scares the crap out of me to say it, but we're committed. We're looking at homes and talking about getting married next year. Until I get a ring though, I'm not gonna get all giddy lol

<back to lurk mode> lmao
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Dont go!!! Xerxes

I agree! Im letting go of my 'type'. When she spoke about her 1st husband not looking like she expected. I didnt really pay attention until after she repeated it several times. I do have to be more open to the unexpected.
 
Since I've been reading the book, I've been seeing who is NOT the ONE. This is valuable so I don't waste time!
 
I remember when LHCF first had the challenge. I eventually bought the book (I think 2007/2008) and met DH within a year.

I don't think I finished the book but I do remember completing the section where you list the qualities you want in a mate. I remember finding my list when DH (then SO at that point) were having issues and being surprised that he met each and every criteria on that list. So I decided to continue and give the relationship a chance :-)

We are married now and each year things get better and better.
 
Hi ladies!!!! :wave: I'm so sorry I've been MIA from this group for so long, but I'm FINALLY back and (hopefully) on a regular track yet again with this CITO Journey. :yep:

But First..... An update.... (***Hope you have a chair \_ ....:look: :giggle: )

*UPDATE* Guess what ladies??? I FINALLY finished "Week #3" and ALL of the exercises last night! :yay: I did the last exercise ("The Release Ceremony") last night!!! :woot: :woot:

I know that sounds like a small feat, but for those of you who know me on here, Week #3 was a HUGE HUGE HUGE struggle for me! I think I spent a good 3 or 4 months on Week #3. :look: I think I just lost my momentum there for a minute. A LOT has happened in those 4 months however.... (my mom was sick in the hospital, I got laid off from my job, I got a NEW job--YES!!!, I had to move out because my roommate is getting married, and I JUST moved into my new apartment! :yay: ) So yeah...a LOT has been happening in my life in such a short period of time.

Anyway....

Last night's "Release Ceremony" was SUCH a relief! I don't know why I thought it was going to be such a hard exercise, but it honestly wasn't! When I finally got to the point where I told myself: "I want to finish this all TONIGHT", that's when it finally clicked for me! There's no turning back. :nono: I chugged through it, and it was actually pretty easy for me. I actually had fun burning paper and "releasing" my former blockages to love, and "embracing" the new thought patterns in order to bring love into my life! :yep:

Ladies, Idk about you guys, but I'm not even half-way through this book yet, but already I can see that this book has transformed my life! :grin: Whereas back in the past I would assume that I wasn't married because I just hadn't "met the right one yet", now I see that it's actually due to other deeper things. For so LONG I've been having a deep sense of FEAR around dating, relationships, love, etc...(ie. a fear of getting hurt, a fear of ending up with the 'wrong' person, a fear of rejection, a fear a fear a fear....etc) NO WONDER I'm still single and have never dated anyone that I personally could connect with! No wonder! Maybe this "fear" was seeping through my veins and some guys (guys that I actually LIKED) could pick up on it? Idk.

But this book is changing me...I'm telling you. I don't even feel sad or broken anymore. I feel like I have been re-born...SERIOUSLY. Even when I think back to past/previous painful memories of guys who I was involved with or guys I liked, I don't even feel any real attachment to them anymore! It's so amazing.

I'm just so much happier now! I feel lighter....EMOTIONALLY lighter....if that makes sense. I never was a sour puss, but I now feel like I'm finally letting my true radiance and light shine again. :yep: Part of my happiness of course is due to the fact that I'm no longer in that stressful job anymore. Thank goodness they laid me off. The commute was horrible! :wallbash: Now, my new job is LESS stress, minutes from home, and SO much nicer. :grin: I'm also on my own again so I feel good having my own place again, and being autonomous.

I feel SO much better about my future ability to attract a future husband into my life, and now when I hear about friends getting married, I don't feel a twinge of jealousy in my heart. I feel JOY. Because I know deep down that I can have what they have too! It may take some time....but I KNOW it will happen for me. :yep: I'm also feeling more love towards men in general... No more bitterness, anger, deep-hidden resentment due to past previous hurt/pain. I'm now learning to be more appreciative of the male species and their qualities. :yep: Realizing that they are complement to my female species. :yep: They are not to be feared or mistrusted. There is good and bad to EVERYONE no matter WHO they are. But I trust that God will lead the way in showing me who is the right person for me, and who is WRONG for me. So I don't have to close my heart off, or be afraid of even taking a leap into a relationship for fear that the guy is the wrong one, or will end up hurting me. I now trust in God for his guidance, and in MYSELF for recognizing when a relationship is not for me. I don't have to be afraid anymore. I don't have to OVER-analyze or OVER-think things anymore!

Also, I've been noticing lately that men seem to be responding to me differently! I'm not one of those ladies who gets hit on everywhere she goes lol (or if I've been hit on I didn't realize it lol :look: ), but I've been noticing just in the past couple of weeks that more men seem to be hitting on me, asking me questions, striking up conversations, telling me I'm "pretty", etc. It's CRAZY!!! :dizzy: Trust me, I don't mind lol! :lol: I think it's so crazy though because I haven't really changed a THING about myself PHYSICALLY. I still LOOK the same! I haven't lost any significant weight, I still wear my hair the SAME way.... The ONLY thing that has changed is my own attitude about myself, my life, and my future. :yep: It's almost scary how this book is so ON POINT.

That proves to me that a lot of times attraction is MORE than just LOOKS. A lot of times people can sense how you FEEL about yourself....maybe subconsciously...and it has very little to do with LOOKS.

I feel that a lot of the heaviness associated with love/relationships/marriage is now slowly lifted up, and I almost feel like a brand new person! :grin: :grin:

I know I still have a LONG way to go in this journey, and I have much more work to do on myself, but so far I feel SOOO much more self-aware, and I recognize more quickly when I am slipping back into destructive love patterns, or telling myself something negative.

I've already started reading "Week #4", and I can't WAIT to do the exercises on "Intentions". The first two chapters of Week 4 have been SO eye-opening to me.

It can only get better from here ladies!

I say all of this to say, that if ANY of you all are "stuck" or feel blocked, or have lost motivation to do this program....PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP! Just take care of yourself, re-read through some of the chapters that have you stumped, and take your time and FINISH the exercises! It can be hard going through a block and losing momentum, but I promise you, if you push through, it will be SO WORTH IT! :up: :grinwink:

(I also posted this to the Group Board :yep: )
 
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Hello ladies. :wave:

I've lurked in this thread for a minute, trying to decide if I wanna get the book or not. I took the plunge last night and got the Kindle version. I'm still healing from a previous situation, and I'm focusing on myself right now, so I'm not necessarily looking to meet anyone. But I think it would be helpful to address some of my issues/patterns so I'm not making the same mistakes when/if I do finally meet someone.

Looking forward to reading your thoughts and sharing mine. Crystalicequeen123, could you add me to the private group, please?
 
MzLady78 said:
Hello ladies. :wave:

I've lurked in this thread for a minute, trying to decide if I wanna get the book or not. I took the plunge last night and got the Kindle version. I'm still healing from a previous situation, and I'm focusing on myself right now, so I'm not necessarily looking to meet anyone. But I think it would be helpful to address some of my issues/patterns so I'm not making the same mistakes when/if I do finally meet someone.

Looking forward to reading your thoughts and sharing mine. Crystalicequeen123, could you add me to the private group, please?
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MzLady78 YEa sure girlie of course! :yep: I'm glad you've decided to join us. :grin:

This book has really been transformative for me so far. I feel like it should be REQUIRED reading for girls and women 21 years old and older, whether they're single or not, and whether they've been through a bad breakup or not. It really is a healing book. :yep: I feel like a new woman already and I'm only half-way through!
 
Okay, so...maybe this is a silly question, but what happened to the "Groups" section??

Did they take the Groups away when they updated the new site?? :(

I miss the CITO Group!
 
@jprayze I KNOW!!!! Me neither!!! :cry3: I was just coming back and getting back on track again after a long hiatus being stuck on Week 3..... Now....the groups appear to be GONE! I wonder if the groups will ever come back?? Does anyone know?? :look:
 
I think I'm going to reread this book now. I think I finished it late last year, but I knew I was going to go back through it because I didn't get deep into everything. I think I might work my way backwards too.
 
I was a part of the challenge here on the board but I stopped posting. I made it alll the way to the end of the book, but I did not do the last activity.

I thought that each activity was helpful on it's own, but I don't agree with most of her views in the book. In the beginning I saw some results, but as I came closer to the end I realized that it was something different altogether blocking me from meeting "the one".

I am currently in therapy for depression (it was triggered acutely) and I believe that is what is ultimately keeping me from landing a great relationship at this time.

Otoh, I am dating someone. He's great and has brought something awesome to my life, but he ain't "it", so I believe this will be ending sometime soon.

Anyway, I think the book is great for "spiritual" starters. Someone who is brand new to all of these ideas.
 
GodsPromises said:
Ladies I never finished the book but I'm happy today that I have found the one and I must say this has been the best relationship I've ever been in.
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WOWW!!!!! That is AWESOME!! :yay:

Congrats girl! I'm so happy for you! :grin: I guess we have one success story lol :lol:

GodsPromises said:
I really can't say. I know when I met him I was in a very relaxed not stressing about meeting someone state of mind. I read the first 3 chapters and stopped.
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You know, I hear a LOT of people say that they got into relationships or found "the one" when they WEREN'T looking. :yep: I wish I could get to that place of "not looking", but I'm actively making a conscious effort to NOT look, and to just enjoy my singleness while I still can. :yep:

I need to pick this book back up though because I only got half-way through.

I'm off to read this book during my lunch break! :roadrunner:
 
I like the book, it helped clear some things out mentally and emotionally. It is good to take things out of your brain and pick and choose what you want to keep and should let go of. I thought this book did a good job of helping you get it out. In terms of energy/beliefs it really feels like you've lost 10 lbs when you finish.
 
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