Calling in the One Challenge

[caribeandiva]

tigerrose i agree with you. All aspects of my life are connected. So Crystalicequeen123, even though you're not actively looking for love, please keep yourself open to the idea. Your life will never be 100% perfect. I know I told myself that for years! I'll get a man when i have this, this, and that lined up. Just keep your heart open. That's all.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I officially finished the course today! That was fast! I'm so glad I took part in this challenge. I honestly wouldn't have finished it if it wasn't for the private group. Checking in daily and keeping in touch with the other ladies kept me on track. I had so many aha moments while reading this book! I can actually see all the blocks I had to love and how to move past them. I'm a lot more loving and open to love in general. I can also identify when I'm feeling anxious and soothe myself. I had a lot of anxiety about love and all that it entails! Now I can calm myself and stop running away whenever something looks promising. That alone was worth the entire course to me.

@caribeandiva

WOWWWWWW!!!! Way to go girl!!! That is so awesome. I'm proud of you.

Just reading about your excitement, seeing your dedication, and learning about all of the things that you discovered and learned about yourself after finishing this program is making ME excited and energized to try to pick up this book again and do the exercises. It's not READING the book that's hard, it's actually committing to the time, energy, and emotional rollercoasters that is challenging for me.

But I'm thinking I'll try to pick up this book again and do some exercises some time this weekend.

Your finding a really nice guy during this book journey is awesome too!

I think that's my biggest fear.... that I'll finish this book and complete all of the exercises, but STILL won't end up with anybody lol. I know that's a silly reason NOT to complete the book, but that deep down that IS one of my reservations.

@Crystalicequeen123 Welcome back! I'm glad you are still
on the journey! I have realized that my love journey is a part of
this journey called life. I only have one life and every part of my
Journey...love, money, career, fitness, etc...it all has to work
together.

I have spent too many years trying to put one part of my life
on hold while I tried to get another part working just the way I
wanted it to. I even bought into the lies I was told by others about
how a woman needs to have her finances together and in so
many ways become superwoman before she could attract a husband.

Then as I became more successful, I was told that it is harder for
successful black women to find a husband. The more success you
have...the harder it becomes to have a husband. And I heard this
only from black people!

I have finally learned to go with the flow of life. I am ever evolving
during my life journey and my husband will be too.
Right now I am working on improving my finances, fitness and
career. And the man who is the One for me will love me while
I am a work in progress...because I will always be a work in progress...
And so will he!

So stay open to receiving and giving love...always.
Even if you are not working the course stay focused on love.
Don't stress about how long it takes to complete the book
because the ultimate purpose was to get you started on your
Love Journey. You may meet the One at your next apartment
so keep your mind and heart open to love!

@tigerrose Awww thank you girl!

This was really encouraging to read. You guys are making me want to pull my book out again and do the exercises.

You brought up some really good points. I don't have to feel like I have to be perfect in order to find love. Plus, the guy that ends up finding me and being my husband won't be perfect either! We're ALL a work in progress....ALL the time! And you're right, a lot of times people will tell you (especially BLACK women) that your chances at finding love diminish greatly when you move up the corporate ladder....or even as you age. That shouldn't be the case. Love can be found in MANY various financial states, and many different ages.

I like the way you're doing things.

This year I'm choosing to focus more on myself as well (spirituality, health, fitness, financial/job satisfaction, emotional well-being, physical appearance/maintenance, etc), but I will take your advice and will STILL remain OPEN to love.

I think I was getting so discouraged I felt like I might as well not even be OPEN to it, because I'll just be disappointed if it doesn't happen. But, I think I'm going to try to remain POSITIVE, while at the same time focusing on myself and see how that goes.

@tigerrose i agree with you. All aspects of my life are connected. So @Crystalicequeen123, even though you're not actively looking for love, please keep yourself open to the idea. Your life will never be 100% perfect. I know I told myself that for years! I'll get a man when i have this, this, and that lined up. Just keep your heart open. That's all.

That's a REALLY good point.

I think keeping myself and my heart OPEN is probably the biggest hurdle for me. I think I instinctively close my heart at times because I'm afraid of being hurt again. Then, when I go through pain I don't want to even try anymore because I don't want the same thing over and over and over again.

But you're right! My life will NEVER be perfect, because NOBODY is perfect. I think as long as I can FULLY open my heart to love, it will attract more love in.

A man can't walk through a closed (or LOCKED erplexed) door....

 

[jprayze]

Just in case anyone is interested, I just started doing these marriage prayers while still working on my exercises. So far, it has been a good compliment and keeping me focused.

http://www.purposefullysingle.com/

 

[Avyn]

Im excited to be back. The end of the year was super hard. I had several big things happen on the family front. Major sicknesses with my aunt and mom and my older brothers passed away. Ive been traveling back and forth between my home state and where I currently live and its been taxing to say the least...
Anyways, I'm back at my lessons. Im excited to continue to work through the rest of the book and continue to hear bout everyone's progress.

Glad to see yall back
Crystalicequeen123
InsertCleverNameHere

 

[Duchesse]

Hey ladies! I want to unofficially join you all on this course. I actually started reading this book like over a year ago....did it half-arsedly, then got into a relationship that I completely and utterly sabotaged....now I'm ready to do the internal work so that I can love and be loved purely.

I know myself and plan on probably reading a chapter at a time, then going back and doing the exercises..or jumping back and forth between them.

 

[Avyn]

Just read some of the recent posts and I think the 7 weeks time frame is deceptive. No self-improvement, self-help program Ive done has been a fast linear process. I dont know why I expected this course to be. Mind shifts take time. The time frame between knowledge acquisition and a complete transformation in thoughts, patterns and habits is significant.

I think I went into this process thinking this would be a motivational book, giving me a kick in the pants to take charge of my love life and move forward. But its actually a transformational book, digging out and changing flawed, foundational beliefs about love for others and self and rebuilding a healthy mindset.

This process takes time. I will probably go through this book several times and be stretched in different ways each time.

 

[Avyn]

Hey ladies, I couldn't resist and purchased the book too. I've been married 25+ years and I am finding this book to be helpful. Some of the lessons are really hard and require a very high level of maturity. I can see why so many had a hard time getting through it the first time they tried. I think this quote sums up why getting and keeping love can be so difficult: "Love will always require of us more than we initially intended to give, for it will take no less than everything we've got." Going in most of us can't imagine the sacrifices we must make or how much we are asking of another human being. I like how she discusses that getting what we want is a matter of subtraction, not addition. We often say I want someone to add to whatever it is we bring or offer. It does not come natural to us to imagine that we will have to give so much in order to get what we want. It is painful to die unto ourselves, to slice away pieces of us that we have become so comfortable with. Anyway, I just wanted to wish all of you the best of luck and encourage you to persist and have faith that "the one" for you does exist.

Thank you hopeful !
Im glad you're going through the book too! I think hearing your wisdom through the process as someone who's been successfully married is extremely valuable. I dont know anyone IRL with your marital experiences.

 

[caribeandiva]

Im excited to be back. The end of the year was super hard. I had several big things happen on the family front. Major sicknesses with my aunt and mom and my older brothers passed away. Ive been traveling back and forth between my home state and where I currently live and its been taxing to say the least...
Anyways, I'm back at my lessons. Im excited to continue to work through the rest of the book and continue to hear bout everyone's progress.

Glad to see yall back
Crystalicequeen123
InsertCleverNameHere

Avyn you have my condolences. Glad to have you back.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Im excited to be back. The end of the year was super hard. I had several big things happen on the family front. Major sicknesses with my aunt and mom and my older brothers passed away. Ive been traveling back and forth between my home state and where I currently live and its been taxing to say the least...
Anyways, I'm back at my lessons. Im excited to continue to work through the rest of the book and continue to hear bout everyone's progress.

Glad to see yall back
@Crystalicequeen123
@InsertCleverNameHere

@Avyn Thanks girl! It's good to be back!

Also, I'm so VERY sorry to hear about some of the things that have been going on in your personal life. That can't possibly be easy.

It's good to see you back again as well. Hang in there.

Just read some of the recent posts and I think the 7 weeks time frame is deceptive. No self-improvement, self-help program Ive done has been a fast linear process. I dont know why I expected this course to be. Mind shifts take time. The time frame between knowledge acquisition and a complete transformation in thoughts, patterns and habits is significant.

I think I went into this process thinking this would be a motivational book, giving me a kick in the pants to take charge of my love life and move forward. But its actually a transformational book, digging out and changing flawed, foundational beliefs about love for others and self and rebuilding a healthy mindset.

This process takes time. I will probably go through this book several times and be stretched in different ways each time.

Yea that is so true. I've realized that this is a transformational book as well. It's not just a motivational self-help book. You actually have to put in some WORK for it to work FOR you.

I think I underestimated how much work this book would take as well.

BUT, I'm not giving up! I just finished exercise #16 over the weekend, and I'm ready to continue on with this program bit by bit. I felt motivated when I finished the lesson.

 

[tigerrose]

Welcome back Avyn
Sorry to hear about your family.

The 7 weeks promise was just a marketing tactic to sell more books.
It wouldn't have sold as well if the truth about the transformation
process taking closer to 7 months or more instead of 7 weeks
was in the title.

The book has been helpful to me but I realized the shift that makes
all the difference is the required change in my belief system to
know that I am worthy of true love.

I am taking my time working through the exercises while I do
other preparation work to become a wife. I have marriage mentors
who have been married for decades and are examples for what I
desire in my marriage. They have provided valuable guidance for me.

I want to have a blessed successful marriage once I call in the One
so I need to learn from others who have accomplished what I
want to accomplish. The book author actually didn't keep the One
she called in, but I'm using her book as one of the tools in my marriage
success toolbox. This thread and the support group are valuable tools
as well.

I truly believe we will all receive our heart's desires!

 

[CurlyMoo]

@Crystalicequeen123 Welcome back! I'm glad you are still
on the journey! I have realized that my love journey is a part of
this journey called life. I only have one life and every part of my
Journey...love, money, career, fitness, etc...it all has to work
together.

I have spent too many years trying to put one part of my life
on hold while I tried to get another part working just the way I
wanted it to. I even bought into the lies I was told by others about
how a woman needs to have her finances together and in so
many ways become superwoman before she could attract a husband.

Then as I became more successful, I was told that it is harder for
successful black women to find a husband. The more success you
have...the harder it becomes to have a husband. And I heard this
only from black people!

I have finally learned to go with the flow of life. I am ever evolving
during my life journey and my husband will be too.
Right now I am working on improving my finances, fitness and
career. And the man who is the One for me will love me while
I am a work in progress...because I will always be a work in progress...
And so will he!

So stay open to receiving and giving love...always.
Even if you are not working the course stay focused on love.
Don't stress about how long it takes to complete the book
because the ultimate purpose was to get you started on your
Love Journey. You may meet the One at your next apartment
so keep your mind and heart open to love!

I'm in tears right now reading your post.
Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge Tigerrose.

I just discovered your post and it's right above mine.
I saw you quoted and couldn't figure out where it came from.
I guess sometimes we see things at the time we are ready or need to see them.

Not only 15 minutes ago I was having a defeatist moment.
Thinking on my student loans and hospital bills;
and how I really need to get things in order and how was
I going to have a love life when I can't get settled in the financial and health area?
I also read about having it all together before finding love.

I had a recent work injury and fell down the stairs the other day at home;
I just feel broken.
I was trying so hard not to have any incidents on ice that I became careless indoors.
It's all related.

You really brought it back for me.
It's good to be mindful of all area's in our lives.
I can seek love and work on my finances and health.
This is why I detest thongs, the front is covered while your backside is exposed. erplexed
We need to tend to all our needs.
True, we all are really a work in progress.
Perhaps this is just life, ups and downs; triumphs and failures.

Somehow, I am going to start enjoying working through this, see it as life maintenance.
Maybe throw in a spa day to ease tension and as a reward for accomplishing a goal.

Still calling in the one! :wink2:

 

[tigerrose]

I'm in tears right now reading your post.
Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge Tigerrose.

I just discovered your post and it's right above mine.
I saw you quoted and couldn't figure out where it came from.
I guess sometimes we see things at the time we are ready or need to see them.

Not only 15 minutes ago I was having a defeatist moment.
Thinking on my student loans and hospital bills;
and how I really need to get things in order and how was
I going to have a love life when I can't get settled in the financial and health area?
I also read about having it all together before finding love.

I had a recent work injury and fell down the stairs the other day at home;
I just feel broken.
I was trying so hard not to have any incidents on ice that I became careless indoors.
It's all related.

You really brought it back for me.
It's good to be mindful of all area's in our lives.
I can seek love and work on my finances and health.
This is why I detest thongs, the front is covered while your backside is exposed. erplexed
We need to tend to all our needs.
True, we all are really a work in progress.
Perhaps this is just life, ups and downs; triumphs and failures.

Somehow, I am going to start enjoying working through this, see it as life maintenance.
Maybe throw in a spa day to ease tension and as a reward for accomplishing a goal.

Still calling in the one! :wink2:

Hi CurlyMoo
I hope you are feeling better
You definitely should treat yourself to a spa day!

You are not broken at all, just getting stronger as you
push through your challenges. Sometimes it is best to take
life moment by moment when it seems too overwhelming.
Don't stress over those bills...just know you are doing your best.

Treat yourself to that spa day when you recover and don't
waste a moment worrying about your bills while you are at the spa.

I totally agree with the bolded. What was right under our nose the whole time
will appear once we are ready for it. That is a lesson that keeps showing up
in my life right now concerning love.

You already have the victory! :Copy of 2cool:

 

[tigerrose]

Part of my fasting for marriage includes immersing myself in material
that is focused on helping me call in the One and prepare for marriage.

I like these videos from Esther Hicks because it helped me understand
the importance of being grateful for the lessons learned from a failed relationship.
And more importantly, learning what you want for your next relationship and
staying focused on attracting those qualities in your partner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzzrZjXf1P8&index=7&list=PLsjNaLWDAtP2-UnzaE4I1IBmq0uY0btC5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0pLJjkrLto&list=PLsjNaLWDAtP2-UnzaE4I1IBmq0uY0btC5&index=6

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lan4Mq8DbMs&list=PLsjNaLWDAtP2-UnzaE4I1IBmq0uY0btC5&index=3


Disclaimer: I don't resonate with some of the terms she uses. So instead of
thinking about the "vortex" or other terms she has coined,
I replace that with "the spiritual realm"
because I do believe that God has already done it in the spiritual realm
before it will manifest in the physical. But my faith and actions must activate it.

 

[tigerrose]

I have been studying Myles Munroe's teachings on relationships for a long time.
I really like these videos on the "Myth of Singleness" that he taught at a singles conference.
His wife Ruth provided some valuable wisdom on the
subject too in the videos:

Part 1:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br_wKPL3LWs

Part 2:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lar4lO3pzc


I actually listen to these videos (instead of watching them) on a regular basis.
My goal for the fast is to focus only on things that will help me accomplish my goal
and eliminating (negative people and information, unhealthy habits, etc.) anything
that is in the way of me getting there.

I really wish I could have attended one of his singles conferences.
Another reminder for me to make the most of the time I have left,
and not allow anyone to waste my time ever again.

 

[BGT]

I've had this book for 3 weeks now and only read a few pages i'm gonna pick up today.

 

[sweetvi]

Tommorrow us the day I will take it seriously and start from page one. We can do it yall!!!

 

[jade998]

I just wanted to say that I was consistent with this book end of last year. I read a chapter a day for 7 weeks and did the exercises.

One thing I can say is that I initially thought that I would read it and then BOOM....my man will appear. However let me tell you what happened instead.

In being consistent and dedicated to making whatever ever changes in me that was needed, I recognised the qualities of the man I wanted in someone I already knew.

I was honest to myself about what was really my expectations of a marriage or relationship and I noticed that a lot of what I thought was important was rooted in my insecurity I.e.

He must be 9 or above - that was just me looking to validate myself to others "see I must be all that is this fine brother wants me"

He must love me unconditionally and I must be his world - again insecurities. Am I actually loveable? Do I exhibit any characteristics that put people off?

He must have swagger

He must be kind

The only other problem was what I was vocally saying wasn't the above. I was saying; he needs to be a man of God; one after God's heart but deep down I dismissed any man that didn't have the above. Hence single for 7 years

This book opened my eyes to ME. I now recognise that marriage isnt easy and when the chips are down; swagger will get me no where.

When I started this book, my cousin told me of a guy that lived in a different country that saw my picture and wanted to get in contact. I said nope, too far away. Now she tried again whilst I was reading this book and I was more open. We started talking, initially he doesn't look like my type but as I get to know him I am understanding the difference between what I need vs what I want. He actually flew me down to visit and I had the best time. And guess what, I was attracted to him to my surprise.

I would say:
Be open to who might come your way
Be open to having to mourn your fantasy relationship
Be open to experiencing a relationship like you have never had before

Most importantly, always judge a man on things that are still going to be important 20 years from now - his vision, how he handles money, kind heart, loves you beyond your looks; in my case (loves God)

Attraction is important trust me; you need a connection and chemistry, but let the attaction be the total sum of the man.

I am excited about 'the new boy'. He is everything I could possibly need and whilst yes; he might not have all I had imagined, he is someone that sees a future with me and that is sexy

Hope you all purpose in your heart to work and prepare you. Once you start to do that, be open! It will most probably happen in a way you least expect.

 

[jade998]

Just read some of the recent posts and I think the 7 weeks time frame is deceptive. No self-improvement, self-help program Ive done has been a fast linear process. I dont know why I expected this course to be. Mind shifts take time. The time frame between knowledge acquisition and a complete transformation in thoughts, patterns and habits is significant.

I think I went into this process thinking this would be a motivational book, giving me a kick in the pants to take charge of my love life and move forward. But its actually a transformational book, digging out and changing flawed, foundational beliefs about love for others and self and rebuilding a healthy mindset.

This process takes time. I will probably go through this book several times and be stretched in different ways each time.

Completely agree, I was committed to the 7 weeks but doing a lot of my evolving and changes now. I still go back and reread certain chapters. As life unfolds I am 'tested' on how much healing has happened by how I now respond to things.

Things that would have angered me before; I now take a deep breath first. Not an easy process unlearning negative behaviour so please give yourself the time in the process so you have an actual change rather than a pseudo change.

 

[jade998]

I have been wrestling with myself over whether to say anything in this thread about this book, but if I can encourage one other person, I feel that my remarks may be worthwhile.

This book works for those who do the work and who truly start to believe that they are lovable and begin to both give and receive love in the way the author specifies.

I had limited expectations when I bought this book after seeing this thread, but it literally caused me to reevaluate how I deal with men and identify my own personal issues that prevented me from experiencing the proper man for me.

The man I am currently dating, I would have brushed off before this book and was going to, but I now see how much of a blessing he is and I pray that we work out.

Timescale, I got this book a little before Thanksgiving at the same time I connected online to my bf and each day we grow closer. But it's a commitment and my biggest problem has always been finding time for others and I'm constantly learning how to compromise to give "us" the time to grow.

I must say the book and the time I am putting into my relationship is worth it.

I am immensely happy and cannot believe that I am falling in love. We communicate well and he's nothing I was looking for on the surface, but exceeds every expectation you can name.

When you really open up to love, start loving others without expecting something in return, love comes back and knocks you over.

I probably won't reply to any comments, but should I marry him, I'll post a thread or repost in this thread.

Seriously, I pray you all find the love you deserve and give the love you are capable of giving to others. Be encouraged! ((hugs and kisses))

We are completely on the same page. And I noticed that what this book does is challenge you on what you think your 'type' is. And are you actually looking to love and be loved.

 

[sweetvi]

Didn't know she was married to a black man and had a daughter im her 40's. Makes me likes her more fir some reason...

 

[Duchesse]

So yesterday after yoga class I went to dinner with my friend and her coworker. So awhile ago I jokingly told my friend that I'm getting married in July before my birthday ..I'm currently single and dating

So anyway, her coworker took it seriously and she started talking about setting intentions and how they work etc...and then says, have you ever heard of the book "Calli...", before she finished I blurted out the title lol. So apparently last year she was in a circle group with I'm not sure how many women, but 3 of them wound up getting married shortly after the course.

I don't believe in coincidences and I took that as the universe telling me to continue the book and not give up halfway like I did the last time I attempted to read it.

 

[LaBelleLL]

I don't know if this has been discussed but are any ladies here actively dating while completing this book?

I'm currently dating someone and open to dating others. I am wondering what others are doing...

Thoughts from those who have chosen to date?

 

[Skyfall]

...

 

[Skyfall]

...

 

[LaBelleLL]

Yes I am actively dating. I did some of this book before without dating. I find that I am learning more about myself by doing both at the same time. People we connect with are mirrors so this allows me to see myself more clearly, it's all about perspective. I will say though that every guy I connected with since starting seemed like the one but was quickly revealed to not be so but if I didn't know what I know now, they would have definitely been guys I would have fallen for, not that they turned out to be bad guys, but they weren't it, also helps me reasses what I truly desire in a partner.

Thanks for this. This is super helpful. I think this approach will also help me figure out and think through what I desire. I'm finding myself...getting distracted so to say. I feel like I am considering opening myself up to circumstances I never saw myself being open to (ie someone with children). I don't know if this is good or bad. Maybe doing this book will help me sort through things so that I can eventually decide what to do.

 

[girlonfire]

I thought this was funny.

 

[metro_qt]

Thanks for this. This is super helpful. I think this approach will also help me figure out and think through what I desire. I'm finding myself...getting distracted so to say. I feel like I am considering opening myself up to circumstances I never saw myself being open to (ie someone with children). I don't know if this is good or bad. Maybe doing this book will help me sort through things so that I can eventually decide what to do.

LaBelleLL
I think this is a great thing. It actually opens up your dating pool and makes you more likely to find the one quicker, than if you had limited your options.

Good for you!

I think what a lot of people are saying is once doing this book, you open yourself up to people and possibilities you wouldn't have chosen before...

 

[caribeandiva]

omg ladies!! I just had a weird experience. My sister asked me to listen to this song because she thinks I might like it. I love it!! The lyrics were exactly what I needed to hear because all the things he talks about are huge relationship fears of mine, like losing my freedom, not being heard or respected, etc... This was obviously God talking to me and letting me know it's gonna be ok relationship-wise. I didn't know how much I needed to hear those things. God is amazing and he used my sister to prove it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Evqvefc4fqM

 

[caribeandiva]

It's weird but I felt healed after listening to it.

 

[hopeful]

It's weird but I felt healed after listening to it.

Some of these white boys -- damn. The song is hot! Rap, country, and love song all in one.