Black women

[StarScream35]

gabulldawg

I see you're a southern bell. Girl I was born and raised in the ATL. Had to get up out of that camp. The dating situation there is a hot mess. I commend you for finding yourself a brotha down there cause believe me, it is a HOT MESS!

 

[StarScream35]

You have got to be kidding me....So we are supposed to force men of other races to want us? I know, let's have a million black women march so that we can show men of other races that we will no longer be ignored on the dating front!!!

Stop sipping that Kool-Aid and get a clue...date who ever want to date you and keep it moving!!! Why are you so fixated on other races not wanting Black Women are you losing sleep over this?

Windsy

I'm loving how you are on my tail. I see my posts stir you alot. Sweet!

 

[beans08]

I have said it before and I'll say it again. I'm convinced there are white people posting on this board to plant this crap in our heads. I know people have laughed at me before, but I truly believe it. Don't fall for the hype. You can listen to that foolishness if you want to.....

I'm saying, it's like Stormfront sent over plants in the guise of "caring, concerned" sistahs trying to warn us.

Every black woman I know who wants a black man, has a black man, barring those with attitudes so awful no one wants to deal with them. And I don't know a lot of women like that.

 

[gabulldawg]

gabulldawg

I see you're a southern bell. Girl I was born and raised in the ATL. Had to get up out of that camp. The dating situation there is a hot mess. I commend you for finding yourself a brotha down there cause believe me, it is a HOT MESS!

Lol I'm actually not from Georgia, but I seriously am not seeing the hot mess that u and others speak of. Just don't get it.

 

[nappystorm]

^^Then consider yourself lucky because I definately saw it.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I hv 2 agree I hv a friend who has been single for quite some time, she desires to be married and hv children she is 34, she has no one she is even seeing but she insist on dating a black man while other race of men hit on her all the time. I tell her all the time she could be passing up her husband!

So why not advise her to travel? Go to places where there are men of her type. Ok, what if she married a White guy, wasn't happy with him because she really didn't want him to begin with? I don't think encouraging Black women to date men they have no interest in is wise. Who does this? No other race is encouraging each other to date Black women but yet here we are doing it. Makes no sense. Interracial dating is wonderful, for those who enjoy doing it.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I'm saying, it's like Stormfront sent over plants in the guise of "caring, concerned" sistahs trying to warn us.

Every black woman I know who wants a black man, has a black man, barring those with attitudes so awful no one wants to deal with them. And I don't know a lot of women like that.

Nope! Trust me, stormfront wants us all to stick to our, "Own Kind."

 

[Love Always]

CurlyMoo, I went to an event with my sisters and a friend of ours and she kept saying that I should date a white guy after telling her numerous times that I'm not interested. Everytime she seen a black woman with a white man at this event she kept saying, "now that's what i'm talking about" erplexed.

I really do believe the bolded is true.

I don't think encouraging Black women to date men they have no interest in is wise. Who does this? No other race is encouraging each other to date Black women but yet here we are doing it. Makes no sense.

 

[kweenameena]

Ive got single Black sons they are looking to marry someone from our background and they will cause that is all they want. But some women should look elsewhere it may help

Ummmm........I'm interested in hearing more details about these single sons.

 

[mischka]

yeah, there is pretty much no way a white person who hates black people and wants black people to hate themselves would advocate interracial dating

 

[beans08]

I'm talking about these "poor us, nobody of any color wants us" posters coming in. I've seen a few of those around here, and it's ridiculous.

I'm just saying most of the black women I know have no problem finding a man, whether they are good, bad, poor, rich, black white, whatever.

 

[chocolat79]

gabulldawg

I see you're a southern bell. Girl I was born and raised in the ATL. Had to get up out of that camp. The dating situation there is a hot mess. I commend you for finding yourself a brotha down there cause believe me, it is a HOT MESS!

I'm co-signing this so hard right now! Gabulldawg was a fortunate one with a great story...#justsayin

 

[Maracujá]

What I don't understand is why we can't talk about this in the first place? It's like the thread about poverty in the black community that yardspice started, I feel like we're doing the same with this single black women 'issue', we just refuse to talk about it, but how are we ever going to solve it if we don't even discuss it? I know someone will come in here and say it has been discussed ad nausem but for the most part it's always the same advice: date outside your race. Like someone here mentioned, other ethnicities are marrying their own kind why does it have to be different for us? I completely understand the OP, it is just not normal to have these many beautiful, educated ladies with great personalities being single in their twenties, thirties what have you...I saw a documentary on youtube where they were talking about some black women that were virgins at the age of 40, can you believe this?! I know people that were born in freaking 1993 that are already living together with their SO's, legally I might add. Lemme stop here because my blood boils over this issue, but I believe mstar said it best in this post: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showpost.php?p=13260189&postcount=125

 

[lesedi]

It's weird that i'm saying this cause i'm currently dating a white man but the truth is....some of us (me included) are just way more attracted to black men. Period.

 

[mischka]

What I don't understand is why we can't talk about this in the first place? It's like the thread about poverty in the black community that yardspice started, I feel like we're doing the same with this single black women 'issue', we just refuse to talk about it, but how are we ever going to solve it if we don't even discuss it? I know someone will come in here and say it has been discussed ad nausem but for the most part it's always the same advice: date outside your race. Like someone here mentioned, other ethnicities are marrying their own kind why does it have to be different for us? I completely understand the OP, it is just not normal to have these many beautiful, educated ladies with great personalities being single in their twenties, thirties what have you...I saw a documentary on youtube where they were talking about some black women that were virgins at the age of 40, can you believe this?! I know people that were born in freaking 1993 that are already living together with their SO's, legally I might add. Lemme stop here because my blood boils over this issue, but I believe mstar said it best in this post: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showpost.php?p=13260189&postcount=125

You are so right. There is some weird inferiority complex with this board where just acknowledging differences between black culture and others leads people to fly off the handle and stick their fingers in their ears screaming "LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!" So weird to be in denial about these things. It's like acknowledging things that are DIFFERENT - not even necessarily BAD, just different - is tantamount to some people to like, self loathing or something, like it automatically means something negative even if it doesn't.

It's weird that i'm saying this cause i'm currently dating a white man but the truth is....some of us (me included) are just way more attracted to black men. Period.

For me it is true that strictly on a physical looks level, nothing beats an athletically built good looking black man but the older I get, the more I find that's less of a draw. It's not enough anymore to compensate for all the other things, thus making it less and less attractive.

 

[Etherealsmile]

It's weird that i'm saying this cause i'm currently dating a white man but the truth is....some of us (me included) are just way more attracted to black men. Period.

@ the bolded. As much as i'm attracted to white and other non-black men nothing beats a tall, striking, muscular, well built black man.

I should know, i currently live with one and he's driving me out of my ever loving mind with err indecent thoughts

*fervently counts down to July 30th when I'm moving for school*

 

[Etherealsmile]

You are so right. There is some weird inferiority complex with this board where just acknowledging differences between black culture and others leads people to fly off the handle and stick their fingers in their ears screaming "LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!" So weird to be in denial about these things. It's like acknowledging things that are DIFFERENT - not even necessarily BAD, just different - is tantamount to some people to like, self loathing or something, like it automatically means something negative even if it doesn't.



For me it is true that strictly on a physical looks level, nothing beats an athletically built good looking black man but the older I get, the more I find that's less of a draw. It's not enough anymore to compensate for all the other things, thus making it less and less attractive.

@ the first highlighted. I have noticed this in several threads and I just shake my head and move on, i suppose it is something I'll most likely never understand.


@ the 2nd highlighted, I agree with you as well, as much as I loooove the physical appearance of many black men, I find that when I begin talking to some of them the attraction ends just at the physical level and it is so disappointing

A relationship cannot survive on physical attraction alone...when I was younger, I indulged in a mostly physical relationship with an extremely attractive black guy. He was so attractive he drew attention from women wherever we went. However, there was very little we shared in common and ultimately the relationship disintegrated as a result.

Maybe it is just the area I live in but I'm not finding many black men I share values in common with. It also doesn't help that in my work environment, I rarely see black men and I am surrounded by a sea of white men

 

[CurlyMoo]

Black women like many women, limit themselves to a type and that may not be what God had planned for us. Where does this type come from? Media? Culture? Community? I don't mean race, as I think there are still eligible Black men wanting Black women. I just came from a party that was actually a surprise wedding that no one knew would take place. The guy is wonderful and they are a happy Black couple with a beautiful home on the lake.

I understand you are attracted to a certain type of guy but if he meets most of your requirements or at least the major ones that you can't get pass, why hold yourself back.

I have a girlfriend who is a new Vegan, Just got off the meat train and she now has strict requirements that her man must be Vegan. She already admitted to not being 100% Vegan yet. I asked her does he have to be Vegan? She said yes because she has to cook for him and the family. I told her to look up some Vegan clubs.

 

[StarScream35]

I'm co-signing this so hard right now! Gabulldawg was a fortunate one with a great story...#justsayin

LOL!!!! Fo'Sho! I rolled up out of ATL and ain't looked back at all!

 

[StarScream35]

What I don't understand is why we can't talk about this in the first place? It's like the thread about poverty in the black community that yardspice started, I feel like we're doing the same with this single black women 'issue', we just refuse to talk about it, but how are we ever going to solve it if we don't even discuss it? I know someone will come in here and say it has been discussed ad nausem but for the most part it's always the same advice: date outside your race. Like someone here mentioned, other ethnicities are marrying their own kind why does it have to be different for us? I completely understand the OP, it is just not normal to have these many beautiful, educated ladies with great personalities being single in their twenties, thirties what have you...I saw a documentary on youtube where they were talking about some black women that were virgins at the age of 40, can you believe this?! I know people that were born in freaking 1993 that are already living together with their SO's, legally I might add. Lemme stop here because my blood boils over this issue, but I believe mstar said it best in this post: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showpost.php?p=13260189&postcount=125

@Maracujá

My only real answer to this is for some black women it simply hurts to acknowledge the truth. It's like if I can't hear it then it doesn't hurt nor affect me but it's so sad because truth of the matter is there are so many things affecting the black community that really do need to be talked about. We cannot go on denying this, if we do, things will get more and more out of control. And as much as black women will go on and say yes there are black women that do get married, you cannot deny the staggering numbers of black women who aren't getting married and WANT to. These aren't your ghetto trash women but women who like you said are beautiful, educated and have great personalities. Truth be told our men are NOT stepping it up and interracial dating is NOT easy for black women because of all the preconceived ideas other races have.

On all the jobs I have had, I always observe one thing. How many black women are married vs how many white women or Asian women are married. It usually goes something like this, there is always that one white woman who is not married out of like 15 white women who are and then there are always those 4 black women out of those 15 who are married with the rest looking or on their last leg dating jailbirds or married men...........and that's no joke!

 

[WhipEffectz1]

^^Then consider yourself lucky because I definately saw it.

Make no mistake, there are people to date and have a good time with in the ATL but not too many serious minded brothers. Most people moved down there with men, grew up or went to college with them. It is what it is down there. You gotta get with it or get lost.

 

[levette]

i don't discriminate.....i'm an equal opportunity lover....

I don't blame you.... it's the black women turn to broaden their options. I see some many black men and white men dating... we need to catch up. Many of our Black men are not holding out for us smart successful sistahs

 

[Esthi777]

I've been lurking in this thread and wasn't planning to post but here it goes...

I've been married twice. I got married when I was 22 to a black man. We have 3 beautiful boys together but divorced after 11 years of marriage. He was an abuser amongst a barrage of other things. After we divorced, he stalked me and a friend one night and caused a scene in the parking lot of an eatery. The police were called and it got so ugly that a Sgt. was called to the "scene". Long story short, 4 years later, I am now married to that Sgt. now lieutenant who is a white man. I guess my point is, I NEVER expected to date let alone marry a white man especially the white officer on my domestic dispute call, but I did not close my mind to it. He never had or even thought of dating a black woman. It just happened. He possesses ALL the qualities that I want in a man. He's smart, goal oriented, kind, gentle, an excellent provider, a leader, A CHRISTIAN and he loves me and the boys.

All I'm saying is that I understand everyone has preferences but if someone great comes along, don't pass up what could be a great man because he's the wrong color and grow old alone.

 

[UmSumayyah]

I've been lurking in this thread and wasn't planning to post but here it goes...

I've been married twice. I got married when I was 22 to a black man. We have 3 beautiful boys together but divorced after 11 years of marriage. He was an abuser amongst a barrage of other things. After we divorced, he stalked me and a friend one night and caused a scene in the parking lot of an eatery. The police were called and it got so ugly that a Sgt. was called to the "scene". Long story short, 4 years later, I am now married to that Sgt. now lieutenant who is a white man. I guess my point is, I NEVER expected to date let alone marry a white man especially the white officer on my domestic dispute call, but I did not close my mind to it. He never had or even thought of dating a black woman. It just happened. He possesses ALL the qualities that I want in a man. He's smart, goal oriented, kind, gentle, an excellent provider, a leader, A CHRISTIAN and he loves me and the boys.

All I'm saying is that I understand everyone has preferences but if someone great comes along, don't pass up what could be a great man because he's the wrong color and grow old alone.

Man Christelyn would love that story!

 

[Etherealsmile]

I've been lurking in this thread and wasn't planning to post but here it goes...

I've been married twice. I got married when I was 22 to a black man. We have 3 beautiful boys together but divorced after 11 years of marriage. He was an abuser amongst a barrage of other things. After we divorced, he stalked me and a friend one night and caused a scene in the parking lot of an eatery. The police were called and it got so ugly that a Sgt. was called to the "scene". Long story short, 4 years later, I am now married to that Sgt. now lieutenant who is a white man. I guess my point is, I NEVER expected to date let alone marry a white man especially the white officer on my domestic dispute call, but I did not close my mind to it. He never had or even thought of dating a black woman. It just happened. He possesses ALL the qualities that I want in a man. He's smart, goal oriented, kind, gentle, an excellent provider, a leader, A CHRISTIAN and he loves me and the boys.

All I'm saying is that I understand everyone has preferences but if someone great comes along, don't pass up what could be a great man because he's the wrong color and grow old alone.

Esthi777 thank you for sharing your story

 

[phynestone]

I've always been open, but white men generally don't approach me. They might look, but that's about. When I tried online dating, I was hit on by a TON....

At this point, I don't have a desire to date. I'm too through at this point.

 

[Esthi777]

Man Christelyn would love that story!

I'm not familiar with her...or really anyone else here. I haven't been a member very long and I dropped off about 9 mos. ago only to return recently. Is this a good thing that she'd like my "story" or a bad thing?

 

[Esthi777]

I've always been open, but white men generally don't approach me. They might look, but that's about. When I tried online dating, I was hit on by a TON....

At this point, I don't have a desire to date. I'm too through at this point.

Someone said it earlier about IRR in California. It's true. We all really don't care too much what color you are. All kinds of men live here and approach all different kinds of women here. Where do you live?

Oh, and of course you were hit on by a TON of white men online. I've met too many that have admitted they always wanted to be with a black woman but thought we wouldn't be interested in them.

 

[phynestone]

^^^I'm in the DC/MD/VA area.

 

[weaveadiva]

Someone said it earlier about IRR in California. It's true. We all really don't care too much what color you are. All kinds of men live here and approach all different kinds of women here.

Esthi777
i totally disagree with this
it seems the men in cali...the men of all colors...are preoccupied with white and latina women

of course, you see IRR but they're least often involving black women
this is my experience and that of many other women i know

to me, cali is definitely not a place i would recommend for a black woman in the dating scene...especially one who looks "typically" black (and y'all know what i mean, so don't make it a big deal )