Are You the Prize or Is He?

[cocoberry10]

Sometimes, I think one of the biggest problems in modern day relationships is that women have come to see men as the prizes to be coveted, not the other way around. I especially find this to be true in some Black relationships, since we now deal with the whole ratio disparity issue (more available/marriageable Black women for each available/marriageable Black men).

And I think this has a negative effect on the way a relationship flows.

For example, you have many Black women vying for the "professional brother" and I think that causes some of these men to behave less respectfully than they normally would. It's almost like they don't have to, so they don't. And I'm not blaming them, because I think that we have allowed it to an extent.

But back in the day, a woman was the prize to be coveted. Do you still believe this is true? Do you agree or disagree?

 

[LunadeMiel]

I think he's the prize and he thinks I'm the best thing God created

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I know what you're saying Coco.

Yep, unfortunately women in society have now been conditioned to view men as the prize. Just 50 years ago it was a LOT different.

That's why I'm doing "The Rules". It keeps ME in check, and keeps HIM on his toes.

Sad to say, a lot of women let the guy become "the prize" and he just eats it up. Trust me, men will do whatever you ALLOW them to do. It's almost like he has to realize or know from the get-go that "Homie don't play that!" LOL! And that you will be "outta here" if he tries to pull any crap like that again. ha!

 

[JustKiya]

We are both treasures beyond counting.

How can I consider myself a prize, and bind myself for life to anything less than an equal or better prize? I covet him, he covets me, and that's how it supposed to be.

Onesidedness in relationships has never worked out well for me, and I tend to trip and fall off of pedestals.

 

[dlewis]

I think I'm the prize and he thinks I'm the prize. His family thinks he's the prize though. I think that's the reason they act the way they do/did. They feel like I should be willing to put up with anything to keep him. I think they finally see that they are wrong about the bolded.

 

[Bunny77]

I feel that the woman is "the prize," (thus the hunting-chasing analogy), but only the most worthy hunter will catch the prize.

So we are definitely blessings to each other.

 

[Zaynab]

Oh heck yeah dh thinks I'm the prize. I love dh but he's a man, disposable and I can get another one

That's how women get twisted, they think they get this ONE man and they must hang onto to him for dear life. They give the power over to him.

Dh is the prize to me b/c daggone if that's not one lucky man to get me, I could have lots of others

 

[dlewis]

Oh heck yeah dh thinks I'm the prize. I love dh but he's a man, disposable and I can get another one

That's how women get twisted, they think they get this ONE man and they must hang onto to him for dear life. They give the power over to him.

Dh is the prize to me b/c daggone if that's not one lucky man to get me, I could have lots of others

 

[Zaynab]

Maybe I said that wrong Shoot you get it

 

[dlewis]

Maybe I said that wrong Shoot you get it

I understand and ITA!

 

[cocoberry10]

Oh heck yeah dh thinks I'm the prize. I love dh but he's a man, disposable and I can get another one

That's how women get twisted, they think they get this ONE man and they must hang onto to him for dear life. They give the power over to him.

Dh is the prize to me b/c daggone if that's not one lucky man to get me, I could have lots of others

I gotcha!

 

[biancaelyse]

I think I'm the prize and he thinks I'm the prize. His family thinks he's the prize though. I think that's the reason they act the way they do/did. They feel like I should be willing to put up with anything to keep him. I think they finally see that they are wrong about the bolded.

Did we marry into the same family?? DH is the golden penis child in his family. He is the prize and I was expected to show gratitude for his desire to even be with me at the beginning.

Over the years, they have seen that we are well suited and they have pretty much backed off with the attitudes.

We each think that the other is a prize and that is how we treat each other so it has worked out well for us.

 

[Lucie]

He definitely is.

 

[dlewis]

Did we marry into the same family?? DH is the golden penis child in his family. He is the prize and I was expected to show gratitude for his desire to even be with me at the beginning.

Over the years, they have seen that we are well suited and they have pretty much backed off with the attitudes.

We each think that the other is a prize and that is how we treat each other so it has worked out well for us.

I feel you on that. This people have done so much it's really sad. I tell my husband I'm not one to make anyone choose between me and what/who-ever. If he feels his family is right he is more than welcome to go on over there. But they are not welcomed here.

We do to for the most part.

 

[Ms Red]

I'm the prize, honey. And he would yell it off the rooftops too

 

[Poohbear]

I'm the prize, and he is the prize winner.

But at the same time, we both are prizes in each other's eyes. Otherwise, the relationship would not be mutual.

 

[dlewis]

I'm the prize, and he is the prize winner.

But at the same time, we both are prizes in each other's eyes. Otherwise, the relationship would not be mutual.

That's cute.

 

[gabulldawg]

I definitely think that he thinks I'm a prize. He treats me like I am a prize, and I really enjoy and appreciate it. I do appreciate our relationship and feel that he is a good man.

 

[wonderstar]

Both of us are and I'm not ashamed to admit it. God made us equal. We weren't incomplete before each other but being together makes life a whole lot easier and far more enjoyable. I grab the plate, he grabs the knife and fork. I am not even going to pretend as though I'll be content with any ole guy...I know what I had before and knowing what I have now any ole man would not do! He feels the same way about me.

 

[KimPossibli]

I thought this was going to be about how ppl view the couple..

for instance I have heard a girlfriend whose fh is loaded (family made some good investment and business decisions), good job (doctor) plus owns a business , really nice and I have hear ppl say that she was lucky to catch such a "prize'

hmm

 

[cocoberry10]

I thought this was going to be about how ppl view the couple..

for instance I have heard a girlfriend whose fh is loaded (family made some good investment and business decisions), good job (doctor) plus owns a business , really nice and I have hear ppl say that she was lucky to catch such a "prize'

hmm

Yeah, people love to do that to women all the time, no matter what. People even said that about Jackie O. when she married Aristotle Onassis. It's just crazy. I mean, she came from wealth, was married to a US President, but "she's lucky!"

 

[jerseygurl]

I am the Prize and he is my Prince

 

[SvelteVelvet]

I'm single now, but on this subject I'd like to consider us both equal prize winners. I feel the one-up from either sex can lead to an unhealthy pairing.

I do agree that it is a problem..bigger than the women seeing men as prizes is the men considering THEMSELVES as prizes. Perhaps that has to do with the disparity of available men and women itself and women fighting over men. And truth be told with achievement in LIFE with black men being so far and wide (at least comin from where I'm from, I'm from) I feel it is only natural and statistical for these men to feel prized, but it can go to the extreme and against the honor and appreciation of a woman, which God created as a gift to man.

But man..I know some men who believe they are prizes simply because they have a penis. THAT is a huge problem, extremely huge amongst dealing with brothas. It's not just the professional men, the barely graduated high school broke hoodrat weed heads addicted to video games are trying to capitalize off womens desperation and they'll sit together between tokes breaking down their list of requirements in a woman and they basically boil down to a woman being able to take care of herself AND him, and he'll truly believe he deserves that. Straight role reversal. It's a sad state of affairs with black men and woman and relationships.

 

[exoticmommie]

I'm the prize, honey. And he would yell it off the rooftops too

Same hear, DH will let anyone know, and people who have tried to say otherwise, have been quickly corrected.

That being said, I am definitely blessed to have this man.

 

[NYAmicas]

We're both the prize. He cherishes me and his actions/words show that. I in turn know he is irreplacable thus a prize to me.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Women are the prize men are the hunters not the other way around. However, I seen this reverse in the last few years. I am the prize and he sees me as his prize.

 

[kismettt]

i think we are both. we are both bringing so much to the table and im thankful every day that i have such a wonderful, sweet, caring, intelligent, thoughtful, driven, passionate man in my life.

with my ex, i def thought he was the prize. how is this cute/popular/built/educated/outgoing jock be interested in me? but really, the adjectives i use to describe him vs my current SO prove how i have realigned my thinking & have begun to appreciate all that i'm bringing to a relationship.

i think mutual love/respect is necessary.

 

[itismehmmkay]

We both have added to each other's lives, otherwise I wouldn't be w/ him. I do notice though, that it's a delicate balance of letting him treasure me all the while showing my appreciation that keeps us in a good flow.

 

[fmnnity]

I'm the prize. As it should be.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

DH and I had a similar conversation yesterday after a teller at the bank asked DH on a movie date (didn't even know his name at the time). DH was shocked because he does not think that women should chase men or ask men on dates.

We both agree that women are the prize & men are the hunters who try to win the prize.

Personally, DH is my prize although he always tells people that I am the best thing that happened to him in life besides his son.