Are you emotionally unavailable?

[CarLiTa]

Aw you are a cancer...Yep super cautious in that protective shell.

Think I need a tortoise shell around me


tinkat, Onivana, O-ren, Nuelle, CurliDiva, Rina88, LoveisYou, KPH, GoddessMaker, cocomochaa, Livingmylifetothefullest, jeanghrey:
So, I know I posted this thread... I wish I had support for yall... I don't
I don't know how to get rid of the unavailability.

What I will say, though, is to avoid bitterness despite the unavailability. Don't be all "I hate the menz!" cause that's just an added layer of "messedupness" (yes, I made that up) that will just... mess things up.

I like this line from the movie Shrek: "I'm like an onion. I have many layers."

That's how I think of myself. Yes, my little crabby self may be flinging my claws at the menz, but as you peel back the layers of my onions (even if it causes a few tears and some frustration), you will discover a soft, wonderful layer... something like that

 

[O-ren]

I was talking to a friend and she said that that she would not date anyone who was not PRO gay marriage yet she doesn't have a strong opinion on any hot topics such as taxes, abortion, immigration, etc..


I asked her why "gay marriage" was (especially since I don't think the average straight person may not a strong opinion onw way or another) her line in the sand for accepting a DATE and she could not articulate a reason why this would make a guy a potenital bad life partner.

Pretty simple really. What if they have a gay child? Perhaps she doesnt wnat someone that will break their kid.

 

[O-ren]

Think I need a tortoise shell around me


tinkat, Onivana, O-ren, Nuelle, CurliDiva, Rina88, LoveisYou, KPH, GoddessMaker, cocomochaa, Livingmylifetothefullest, jeanghrey:
So, I know I posted this thread... I wish I had support for yall... I don't
I don't know how to get rid of the unavailability.

What I will say, though, is to avoid bitterness despite the unavailability. Don't be all "I hate the menz!" cause that's just an added layer of "messedupness" (yes, I made that up) that will just... mess things up.

I like this line from the movie Shrek: "I'm like an onion. I have many layers."

That's how I think of myself. Yes, my little crabby self may be flinging my claws at the menz, but as you peel back the layers of my onions (even if it causes a few tears and some frustration), you will discover a soft, wonderful layer... something like that

Lol Carlita, I still think you might be Cap cusp. Cancers are way TOO emotional to be emotionally unavailable. Check your birth certificate again

 

[LoveisYou]

Think I need a tortoise shell around me


tinkat, Onivana, O-ren, Nuelle, CurliDiva, Rina88, LoveisYou, KPH, GoddessMaker, cocomochaa, Livingmylifetothefullest, jeanghrey:
So, I know I posted this thread... I wish I had support for yall... I don't
I don't know how to get rid of the unavailability.

What I will say, though, is to avoid bitterness despite the unavailability. Don't be all "I hate the menz!" cause that's just an added layer of "messedupness" (yes, I made that up) that will just... mess things up.

I like this line from the movie Shrek: "I'm like an onion. I have many layers."

That's how I think of myself. Yes, my little crabby self may be flinging my claws at the menz, but as you peel back the layers of my onions (even if it causes a few tears and some frustration), you will discover a soft, wonderful layer... something like that

That's not even a concern, lol. I know too many good men who would prove me wrong. And even though I have recognized a tendency toward emotional unavailability, everyone sees my soft-side, just watch a tear jerker with me lol

 

[O-ren]

yea luckily never been in the "hate menz" thing. it's somewhat a general trait I have towards men and women until I feel they are worth it really. trust thing.

 

[CarLiTa]

Lol Carlita, I still think you might be Cap cusp. Cancers are way TOO emotional to be emotionally unavailable. Check your birth certificate again

I'm just a scared little crab

My father is a Cap. I'd probably describe him as emotionally unavailable My mother is very quiet. She's a Leo. My sister is a Cancer. She's also EU... I tagged her in the thread. I don't know if my parents' disposition had anything to do with it.

 

[CarLiTa]

yea luckily never been in the "hate menz" thing. it's somewhat a general trait I have towards men and women until I feel they are worth it really. trust thing.

That's not even a concern, lol. I know too many good men who would prove me wrong. And even though I have recognized a tendency toward emotional unavailability, everyone sees my soft-side, just watch a tear jerker with me lol

No worries, yall, (O-ren, LoveisYou) I was responding to a couple of the previous posts and decided to quote everybody at the last minute

And I tooootally relate to the bolded. My crabby interior is veerrrry soft. Get close and I'm verrrry emotional.

 

[O-ren]

with a squeeze of lemon

 

[tinkat]

I'm just a scared little crab

My father is a Cap. I'd probably describe him as emotionally unavailable My mother is very quiet. She's a Leo. My sister is a Cancer. She's also EU... I tagged her in the thread. I don't know if my parents' disposition had anything to do with it.

OMG...its funny you say this bc My mother is the cap and my dad is the quiet leo, and I am a quiet leo too...

I would say my mother is emotional but she comes off detached. She has always been the type to drop a dude if they do something she does not like. It was not hard for her to keep on pushing when it came to men.

My venus is cancer, so in relationships I can be very cancerian....Its like I love closeness but like to keep people at a arms length too...

I am like a cat...(funny bc I am a leo)....independent but like attention. You have to give me just enough...not too much but not too little.

 

[CarLiTa]

with a squeeze of lemon

O-ren, so that went waaayyy over my head lol. What do you mean? Are you throwing shade at me, girl?

 

[CarLiTa]

OMG...its funny you say this bc My mother is the cap and my dad is the quiet leo, and I am a quiet leo too...

I would say my mother is emotional but she comes off detached. She has always been the type to drop a dude if they do something she does not like. It was not hard for her to keep on pushing when it came to men.

My venus is cancer, so in relationships I can be very cancerian....Its like I love closeness but like to keep people at a arms length too...

I am like a cat...(funny bc I am a leo)....independent but like attention. You have to give me just enough...not too much but not too little.

Hmm what is it about this pairing? I am intrigued now.

 

[tinkat]

Hmm what is it about this pairing? I am intrigued now.

I wonder too...

When I think of Cap and Leo, I see a potential power couple....

I see a Leo warming up a cap's heart and a Cap providing the balance or stability.

 

[O-ren]

O-ren, so that went waaayyy over my head lol. What do you mean? Are you throwing shade at me, girl?

LOL never! I was commenting on you saying that crabs are soft and squishy..dont you eat crab legs with lemon? or is that just me?

or maybe you see yourself eating crab as being a cannibal

 

[O-ren]

man even between Barack and Michelle (Leo and Cap)..dont you see her giving him the side eye at times when he's acting all goofy.

 

[tinkat]

man even between Barack and Michelle (Leo and Cap)..dont you see4 him giving him the side eye at times when he's acting all goofy.

Good comparsion

 

[awhyley]

I was probably one of the first to see this thread, but didn't have time to post. I am an unemotionally unavailable person, I feel that deep down, everyone who is EU knows that they are. By acting like they aren't, they're hoping that everyone else will believe the hype and when the relationship dies down, they act as if something was wrong with the other person, to make themselves feel better.

How do you know that you are? Were you always this way, or did something happen that led you down that path?

Nice guys will approach me, and I shut them down with a quickness. I don't really know if I was always this way, but I'm definitely noticing a trend as of late. However, when I was younger, I had a guy (that I wasn't really into) think it was okay to hit me, and I've been 'closed off' ever since. I've mentioned it on here before, but my parent's marriage has really affected me negatively as I have an EU father, and I'm sure that some of that has rubbed off on me.

Are you trying to become more emotionally available? If so, how?

Nah, not really. Don't even know where to start.

I have been told I have detachment issues, and can come off real rigid or not emotional. I guess because I never want to be made to look a fool again in love I have kept my guard up

Kindred spirit right here!

The thing is, while I am admittedly emotionally unavailable, I do NOT like emotionally unavailable men

Ditto. They're a complete turn off. It's a self-hatred thing in me I guess. There's no way that it could work, which should be appealing in a self-fulfilling sort of way, but its like chasing the dog's tail and a total waste of my time. Someone mentioned 'reciprocating the effort' but I don't want to do that either. I just want someone to accept me the way that I am, which isn't fair to them I know, but that's I what I want.

I guess it's true, though, haven't found the person who makes me want to and feel safe to crawl out of the shell. I am really wanting that.

Yeah, me too.