Are white men afraid to approach us?

[Dare~to~Dream]

they were so corny!

I've only had two white guys *approach* me...and when I say *approach* I mean ask me for my number. Both were so lame and one was so not attractive! Ugh...but getting back to the topic at hand...um in my experience I can't really say they are *afraid* but mostly not interested. I would also go as far as to say that in my area, interracial dating as whole (regardless of the races/ethnicities involved) is not common. You rarely see any interracial couples...maybe 1 out of 100.

 

[lowridin76]

In the town that I grew up in, the only guys I had to choose from were white unless I wanted to keep it in the family .
I had a few boyfriends growing up, but most white guys didn't really show an interest. When I Moved to a bigger town to go to college, I got approached more. Part of it could be my town's "stick with your own kind" mentality. =/

 

[strawberry-jelly]

In Miami, definitely not. And they aren't scurred here in ATL either.

 

[sunnydaze]

I have to disagree. Where I live it's predominately white, and when I'm out with my girlfriends and I walk into a hot spot, all eyes are on me. I'm a refreshing change from the all the blonde haired girls. I guess it's all a matter of how you view yourself. I feel as though I'm close to the top of the totem pole.

Fabulous!

 

[Blossssom]

Come on Blossssom, with those tits and hair you shouldn't have a problem.

Haha... I think in my case a lot of men, regardless of race, are simply intimidated by my appearance anyway.

Men assume I have a boyfriend or am married and then if we should strike up a conversation, they are shocked that I don't and am not.

Then wonder why... etc. etc.

I've tried phone dating; on-line dating and when the men meet me, they scurred.

I'm nice to them; down to earth, etc., but no go. I wish I lived in a place where there were prettier people so people would stop staring at me.

 

[Blossssom]

I'm thinking your comparison is on point. Remember that radio clip some one posted last year? An Indian couple moved to the states after getting married, and he got a little bit of American culture and started to creep cause his wife wasn't giving him head. He wanted a booty call, but he couldn't say it and that part of what made it funny.

And they got colorism issues just like everybody else, so white women are their "prize" too.

Um hmmm... as long as whitey is running things, his woman will always be "the prize", but there's a new "prize" on the horizon, so he and his woman will have to take a seat at the BACK of the bus.

That's some time off, though. I'm waiting to see Indian men trying to hook up with white women... just waiting.

 

[Much2much41]

I've only had two white guys *approach* me...and when I say *approach* I mean ask me for my number. Both were so lame and one was so not attractive! Ugh...but getting back to the topic at hand...um in my experience I can't really say they are *afraid* but mostly not interested. I would also go as far as to say that in my area, interracial dating as whole (regardless of the races/ethnicities involved) is not common. You rarely see any interracial couples...maybe 1 out of 100.

I DID have a funny looking one approach me once . But then again, I've had some funny looking black ones approach too

 

[Iansan]

I have to disagree. Where I live it's predominately white, and when I'm out with my girlfriends and I walk into a hot spot, all eyes are on me. I'm a refreshing change from the all the blonde haired girls. I guess it's all a matter of how you view yourself. I feel as though I'm close to the top of the totem pole.

It has nothing to do with how I view myself, I think you misinterpreted my statement...

 

[Blossssom]

It has nothing to do with how I view myself, I think you misinterpreted my statement...

Exactly.

Either they approach or they don't.

I can smile at a guy; give the "come hither" look and they will just look... I don't approach men, but if I'm giving you the signal that I would like to talk to you with my body language and facial expression, you should be man enough to at least approach me.

We shouldn't have to do all the damn work

 

[Soul♥Flower]

Haha... I think in my case a lot of men, regardless of race, are simply intimidated by my appearance anyway.

Men assume I have a boyfriend or am married and then if we should strike up a conversation, they are shocked that I don't and am not.

Then wonder why... etc. etc.

I've tried phone dating; on-line dating and when the men meet me, they scurred.

I'm nice to them; down to earth, etc., but no go. I wish I lived in a place where there were prettier people so people would stop staring at me.

Bloss I might've considered this a shallow statement if I didn't know exactly how you felt. This "uh-uh" guy tried to talk to me the other day (the first one in months) and when I said I didn't have anyone in my life right now he said "why,are you gay?" I mean asided from the "r-u-gay" guy; I see men staring all the time but they don't ever say nothing! (yes that was a double negative)

If you don't have anything to say. Can you kindly stop staring at my tits? Thanks!

Personally, I don't get what they're staring at. I guess I'm just used to my face, since I've had it for so long.




Anyhow, back to the topic. I think white men don't approach because they don't think they'll have a chance. They probably have never dated a black woman before and would like to but are unsure about how the woman would feel about it.

 

[Blossssom]

Bloss I might've considered this a shallow statement if I didn't know exactly how you felt. This "uh-uh" guy tried to talk to me the other day (the first one in months) and when I said I didn't have anyone in my life right now he said "why,are you gay?" I mean asided from the "r-u-gay" guy; I see men staring all the time but they don't ever say nothing! (yes that was a double negative)

If you don't have anything to say. Can you kindly stop staring at my tits? Thanks!

Personally, I don't get what they're staring at. I guess I'm just used to my face, since I've had it for so long.




Anyhow, back to the topic. I think white men don't approach because they don't think they'll have a chance. They probably have never dated a black woman before and would like to but are unsure about how the woman would feel about it.

Yes, you definitely have to be in my shoes to understand that and I'm glad you do.

I also think white guys are afraid of the reaction of black men... black men have been known to do the fool when they see a beautiful black woman with a white man.

OPENLY DO THE FOOL FOR EVERYONE TO SEE!

 

[adf23]

I agree with a previous poster, in the regard that- when I would go out with white girlfriends, I always got approached by white guys. Maybe being out with a white girlfriend, somehow came across as being more open to the idea.

Out with black girlfriends, forget it, unless I walked off from the "pack". I guess maybe too intimidating.

Never really had a prob being approached by white guys. Half way cute is another story.

 

[Blossssom]

I agree with a previous poster, in the regard that- when I would go out with white girlfriends, I always got approached by white guys. Maybe being out with a white girlfriend, somehow came across as being more open to the idea.

Out with black girlfriends, forget it, unless I walked off from the "pack". I guess maybe too intimidating.

Never really had a prob being approached by white guys. Half way cute is another story.

Hmmm... never thought about it like that.

That's another thing I never see: white women and black women hanging out.

 

[Much2much41]

I agree with a previous poster, in the regard that- when I would go out with white girlfriends, I always got approached by white guys. Maybe being out with a white girlfriend, somehow came across as being more open to the idea.

Out with black girlfriends, forget it, unless I walked off from the "pack". I guess maybe too intimidating.

Never really had a prob being approached by white guys. Half way cute is another story.

Isn't that odd? I almost never see a black woman with a cute white man. It's almost always some dorky looking guy erplexed. Where are the black women with the greek gods?

 

[Blossssom]

Isn't that odd? I almost never see a black woman with a cute white man. It's almost always some dorky looking guy erplexed. Where are the black women with the greek gods?

In our damn dreams!

Okay! It's not like I've seen that many WM/BW relationships to begin with, but they are always "rejects".

Same thing for fat white women with tow up black men.

Their own race didn't want 'em.

 

[misskris816]

Exactly.

Either they approach or they don't.

I can smile at a guy; give the "come hither" look and they will just look... I don't approach men, but if I'm giving you the signal that I would like to talk to you with my body language and facial expression, you should be man enough to at least approach me.

We shouldn't have to do all the damn work

How's it workin' for ya? I typically don't approach men either, but if I'm interested and we're both giving each other the eye, I'll approach him if the attraction is strong enough. Believe it or not, I've met quite a few good men that way and I wouldn't have met them if I had waited around on them. I understand what you're saying though, I would prefer a man to approach me. However, sometimes we can't sit back and wait for others. If you want something, go get it girl.

 

[Blossssom]

How's it workin' for ya? I typically don't approach men either, but if I'm interested and we're both giving each other the eye, I'll approach him if the attraction is strong enough. Believe it or not, I've met quite a few good men that way and I wouldn't have met them if I had waited around on them. I understand what you're saying though, I would prefer a man to approach me. However, sometimes we can't sit back and wait for others. If you want something, go get it girl.

I'm not accustomed to approaching men, but with all this "liberation" and women taking on the role of men, I guess I best get with the program.

Women are doing too much nowadays for men.

 

[misskris816]

I'm not accustomed to approaching men, but with all this "liberation" and women taking on the role of men, I guess I best get with the program.

Women are doing too much nowadays for men.

But, if you approach a man because you are interested, you're doing it for yourself, not for him.

 

[Blossssom]

But, if you approach a man because you are interested, you're doing it for yourself, not for him.

I just don't know why we can't go back to the old days when men approached us

They expect us to open our own doors; pay for our own meals and in some instances, pay for theirs.

 

[misskris816]

I just don't know why we can't go back to the old days when men approached us

They expect us to open our own doors; pay for our own meals and in some instances, pay for theirs.

I recently went out on a date where the guy not only failed to open my car door for me, he dropped me off in the driveway and didn't even walk me to my door!

 

[dlewis]

Haha... I think in my case a lot of men, regardless of race, are simply intimidated by my appearance anyway.

Men assume I have a boyfriend or am married and then if we should strike up a conversation, they are shocked that I don't and am not.

Then wonder why... etc. etc.

I've tried phone dating; on-line dating and when the men meet me, they scurred.

I'm nice to them; down to earth, etc., but no go. I wish I lived in a place where there were prettier people so people would stop staring at me.

I can't believe you said that. But it's all good.

Move here, the south is the melting pot. Pretty people everywhere you turn.

 

[Much2much41]

I recently went out on a date where the guy not only failed to open my car door for me, he dropped me off in the driveway and didn't even walk me to my door!

You should have followed him home to the cave of wolves that raised him.

 

[Blossssom]

I recently went out on a date where the guy not only failed to open my car door for me, he dropped me off in the driveway and didn't even walk me to my door!

Did he at least wait to see if you made it into the house safely?

These people don't have any social graces. I don't even look for it.

No home training whatsoever.

 

[Blossssom]

I can't believe you said that. But it's all good.

Move here, the south is the melting pot. Pretty people everywhere you turn.

Heehee! Omigod!

You would think here in Cali it would be overrun with pretty people, but it's overrun with trashy people and illegal immigrants.

I seldom see an attractive person.

 

[lotusspecter]

In our damn dreams!

Okay! It's not like I've seen that many WM/BW relationships to begin with, but they are always "rejects".

Same thing for fat white women with tow up black men.

Their own race didn't want 'em.

Ha! Well, I did have a fine ass boyfriend when I was a teenager. Definitely one of the best looking guys in school, and all the girls agreed. They were mad. Score! Don't ask me how I did it. *Shrugs* Actually, now that I think about it... I dated a gorgeous black guy and a bangin latino in high school as well. I guess my pimp game was proper.

But, in general, I see your point.

 

[atlien]

i wish they were...well the ones that have approached me;they were so corny!

O-K...the ones that approach me look so very corny.. bill-nye the science guy types. I be asking myself what do he think he can do with all this jelly

To the OP.. If they really like you they will approach you. Let them approach you don't approach them because him making the first move shows boldness and this personality trait will be needed to maintain the relationship.

 

[Isis]

I dont know if this has been done beofre If it has I apologize.

I live in richmond, its pretty much 40-40-20 with white and black in the majority. I see many many white men, stare at me, smile at me, and I know they want to approach me, but they dont. I know its out of fear but fear of what ?

I wont lie I dont approach men at all, so I can understand the shy thing, but brothers dont seem to have a problem approaching me even if they do get shot down.

Just this week alone, there have been some fine ass white guys who wouldnt get the courage up to ask.

Why ?

Help me understand this.

Good thread.
I feel there is a direct relationship between what we are projecting and what white (or any other race) men are picking up.

For example, I have an acquaintance (black) who asked me what I think about her dating white men, knowing that I do. I told her it's her life and her business and she is totally free to date whomever she chooses. She said she would like to but is afraid of what her family would say or think.

She also said white guys speak to her and act like they want to ask her out but something "holds them back". I pointed out the direct relationship between her fears and what is showing up in her life. In order to change her experience, she must first change herself.

In my experience, it is easy for white (or black or yellow) men to approach me and ask me out because I am open to all races and nationalities of people. They pick up on that "vibe" and and have no fears about approaching me.

 

[Much2much41]

Good thread.
I feel there is a direct relationship between what we are projecting and what white (or any other race) men are picking up.

For example, I have an acquaintance (black) who asked me what I think about her dating white men, knowing that I do. I told her it's her life and her business and she is totally free to date whomever she chooses. She said she would like to but is afraid of what her family would say or think.

She also said white guys speak to her and act like they want to ask her out but something "holds them back". I pointed out the direct relationship between her fears and what is showing up in her life. In order to change her experience, she must first change herself.

In my experience, it is easy for white (or black or yellow) men to approach me and ask me out because I am open to all races and nationalities of people. They pick up on that "vibe" and and have no fears about approaching me.

So basically, the men who are fearful mirror our internal fears. Makes sense. Great post!

 

[cabellera]

I dont know if this has been done beofre If it has I apologize.

I live in richmond, its pretty much 40-40-20 with white and black in the majority. I see many many white men, stare at me, smile at me, and I know they want to approach me, but they dont. I know its out of fear but fear of what ?

I wont lie I dont approach men at all, so I can understand the shy thing, but brothers dont seem to have a problem approaching me even if they do get shot down.

Just this week alone, there have been some fine ass white guys who wouldnt get the courage up to ask.

Help me understand this.
Why ?

Who wants any man with the lack of BALLS to even approach you.

 

[january noir]

Who wants any man with the lack of BALLS to even approach you.

ThAT'S ALL FOLKS!