Black Men & The Aggressive Approach

[Lucia]

all men and boys act disrespectful towards women, ESPECIALLY BLACK WOMEN.

For the bad ones, if they saw Becky in a store, they'd politely comment on the book she has in her hand or something of that sort, make a nice, polite comment, but if it was a black woman, they'd walk by like "damn... that's a phat a$$" like she's supposed to jump for joy and offer herself right away. F'in NONSENSE. I can't stand it.

but thing is, if a guy is interested, it's all in the approach because that's the very first step. If it's wrong... then heck no!

You said it, do they really think women are sooo desparate that we will respond to crap like that? ridiculous.

 

[Isis]

How did he know you had a husband?! Had he been following you for even longer than you realize?

And what was he doing following someone home let alone a married woman?

Man, you are brave, Isis. That story would have made me feel very unsafe.

I don't have a husband. He assumed I did and I allowed him to.

 

[Isis]

Theyre just shameless, some men really do think they have a right to any and every woman walking the earth, that sounds like rapist mentallity to me.

You're absolutely right, it is rapist mentality which is all about power, domination and control.

 

[Guapa1]

They ALWAYS gotta have a comment--that's why I love my headphones (but don't use 'em at night! that could be dangerous!). The old nasty 50-60 year old ones freak me out the most. I admit sometimes I ignore them and sometimes I tell them off (if I think I won't be killed lol).

Yep, the old ones are a killer! I've been taught to be respectful, so when an older person says hello, I always reply politely. But when they start with their foolishness, they'll get mouthful from me. It's disguisting.

If I think I can get away with it, I'll usually ask, what would you expect your aunty/sister to say to a man that spoke to her the way you just spoke to me?
Then walk off. I've had a few walk up to me after and apologise, but most just leave me alone, probably too thick to understand the question!

 

[Chromia]

I met a guy who approached me all wrong, and the conversation went like this:

Him: When do you think was the last time that I had sex?
Me: I don't care when the last time was that you had sex.
Him: Why are you so hostile?
Me: I'm not hostile, I just don't care when the last time was that you, my friends, family, or anyone else had sex.

Later in the conversation:
Him: Do I meet your goals?
Me: I don't know. I just met you. My goals don't have anything to do with you.
Him: Okay...I have a Bachelor's degree in Business and I own my own business. Do I meet your goals?

I told him that I have goals for myself as far as my career, my finances, my life, etc. He went on to tell me that it's important to have goals and to set goals for yourself. How could my goals have anything to do with a guy I met 5 minutes ago?

 

[esoterica]

when i was 16 i went on a date with a 30 year old with lots of abandonment issues. 1 hour into the date he gets hungry, so we head to mcdonalds (yeah, i know), we order and sit down, and then asks me if i like him. i said i didnt know, as it had only been 1 hour into the evening. this fool flung his burger off the table and onto the floor and proceeded to cry (yes, cry). talking some crap about how no one has ever loved him etc. people were just starting at us... i never saw him again.

 

[esoterica]

I met a guy who approached me all wrong, and the conversation went like this:

Him: When do you think was the last time that I had sex?
Me: I don't care when the last time was that you had sex.
Him: Why are you so hostile?

wtf! why are YOU hostile! give me a break! hostile would have been breaking his sh!t off and shoving it up his a$$.

 

[asummertyme]

and the young one's are the same way..i get these little tennagers tryin to talk to me "yo ma you look mad good"...this is what the grown men are teachin the kids
I have a therory about men and their cat calling..i have tested it out of being sick and tired...Men cat call us in rude and disgusting ways..knowing we will not stop for them..so they continue to yell scream and disrespect us..cause they know we keep walking..one day i stopped..i got so pissed at this one guy who would always yell and yell at me every day..hey mommy...hello! hello!...i got real close up in his face and said..
HI..U CALL ME EVERY DAY...HELLO...he got so intimidated by my aggersiveness he went quiet and said..oh hello..i said OK, ANYTHING ELSE..he said no... and i walked away to never hear from him again his friends were laughin at him!...it works ladies..u should try it...lol
men annoy me with that foolishness..one day i got this man good too..he would come by my job everyday..and always get on my nerves..with that bull crap..one day i got his arse..i got him lovley in front of his friends..he came by my booth and right after he started with his crap..i got on my microphone and said...I DONT LIKE YOU..YOU ARE NOT MY TYPE!..he looked shocked and i bet his little wennie shrunk up along with his self esteem...i say lets get them back at thier game...

 

[Chromia]

wtf! why are YOU hostile! give me a break! hostile would have been breaking his sh!t off and shoving it up his a$$.

LOL! That guy's opening line to me was "Do I see some sexy gray hair on your head?" That was the very first thing he said to me. Then he told me he thought he saw gray hair becuase he has a vision problem.

 

[Isis]

I met a guy who approached me all wrong, and the conversation went like this:

Him: When do you think was the last time that I had sex?
QUOTE]
This right here is where he crossed the line. This is where I would set my boundaries and leave - no more engaging in a conversation.

 

[esoterica]

I met a guy who approached me all wrong, and the conversation went like this:

Him: When do you think was the last time that I had sex?
QUOTE]
This right here is where he crossed the line. This is where I would set my boundaries and leave - no more engaging in a conversation.

me too. anything after that is encouragement. well, in the minds of these sick men

 

[FRO-EVER 21]

when i was 16 i went on a date with a 30 year old with lots of abandonment issues. 1 hour into the date he gets hungry, so we head to mcdonalds (yeah, i know), we order and sit down, and then asks me if i like him. i said i didnt know, as it had only been 1 hour into the evening. this fool flung his burger off the table and onto the floor and proceeded to cry (yes, cry). talking some crap about how no one has ever loved him etc. people were just starting at us... i never saw him again.

OMG.. I'm not even going to touch the fact that he took you to McDonald's, but he seriously throw the burger on the floor and started crying? Okay, that behavior is too wierd for a grown @ss man. You were right not to see him again. People like this should not be allowed to live amongst normal people.

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

me too. anything after that is encouragement. well, in the minds of these sick men

I think they count on the shock factor. That you will be shocked that they would dare to say such horrible things to you.

I've slowly come to the conclusion over the years that it is RACIST for a man to talk to a black woman this way. Yes, racist -- and I dont care what color he is. He could be black and practicing racism against his own kind or a white racist, I dont care.

Why do I think it is racist? Becuase these fools would never DARE to talk to a white woman that way and part of the reason that they feel comfortable disrespecting us is because we are black and they think that we will eat their sh#$! That's why I get so annoyed with Beyonce and others who pepetrate the bootyshaking brainless bimbo image of us. Men all around the world see that ish and think that is how we will behave. Meanwhile, Beyonce and the other bimbos have their bodygaurds to keep these fools away and we, bodyguardless, are left to fend for ourselves, cause Lord knows many black men wont come and protect us and put us on a pedestal the way white men will fight for white women and put their women on a pedestal!

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

OMG.. I'm not even going to touch the fact that he took you to McDonald's, but he seriously throw the burger on the floor and started crying? Okay, that behavior is too wierd for a grown @ss man. You were right not to see him again. People like this should not be allowed to live amongst normal people.

He should not have even been out with you in the first place. He was 30 and you were 16! When I was 14 there was this white guy who used to cruise around trying to pick up high school girls. They play on wanting to make the girls feel grown up but they are really pedophiles who should be locked up!

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

He should not have even been out with you in the first place. He was 30 and you were 16! When I was 14 there was this white guy who used to cruise around trying to pick up high school girls. They play on wanting to make the girls feel grown up but they are really pedophiles who should be locked up!

I totally agree! That happened to me too in high school--some weird white man practically ran me over and followed me around in a car for a while. #*&#8@!

Anyway what's a good response to that infernal noise "PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!"

 

[Lucia]

I totally agree! That happened to me too in high school--some weird white man practically ran me over and followed me around in a car for a while. #*&#8@!

Anyway what's a good response to that infernal noise "PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!"

When they try to talk to you, that's when you inform them that you are a minor and that you will call security/police if they do not leave you alone. I did that too when I was in school. It works they don't waqnt to go to jail, and they see youre not a bubble head theyll back off.

 

[Chromia]

I had to add one more from a guy who wouldn't leave me alone today. I went grocery shopping with my grandmother. As we were walking out of the store this guy makes a comment about how we bought a lot of groceries. I'm like yeah, we bought a lot of stuff. Then he starts walking alongside us and he asked me if I was from here, he told me he's from Rochester, and he asked me my name. He started walking out of the store with us, but he went back inside. I thought I got rid of him.

My grandmother and I went down the wrong aisle because we forgot where I parked, so we were standing there looking around for my car when the guy comes up to us and asks us if we're having trouble finding the car. Yes, obviously. As if he was going to help us find it. Then I spotted it and we were like oh there it is, we found it, bye, have a nice day. He walked with us to the car and stood there while we loaded our groceries into the trunk & the back seat. He asked me my name again, he asked us if we go to church, he told me his mom was shopping inside the store, and he asked me what I do. He kept going ummm, I wanted to ax you, ummm.... Once again, my grandmother and I were like bye, have a nice day. Normally I put my empty cart in the corral to help out store employees who have to round up the carts, but I just got in my car and left.

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

When they try to talk to you, that's when you inform them that you are a minor and that you will call security/police if they do not leave you alone. I did that too when I was in school. It works they don't waqnt to go to jail, and they see youre not a bubble head theyll back off.

This works. Unless they're even more psycho -- they're already crazy for hitting on an underage girl -- then that might just make them madder.

 

[imstush]

One day I was at a party, and this guy kept asking me to dance. So I told him I didn't want to at the moment maybe later. Not to mention he was dancing with the same chick the entire night, I assumed that was his girl. At the end of the night he comes over to me and starts yelling and cursing at me. It got to the point where I grabbed a guiness bottle off of the table, and my friend went and got her boyfriend who was playing a set to walk us to our car. I've been called every name in the book, because I don't respond to their hello's (which is usually after or before a comment about my @ss), and I've been called stuck up and uptight because I was not interested in this one guy.

 

[jodydreams]

i was just called a stupid bitc$ for not responding to a guy who was tryingto get my attention. i didnt even know he was trying to talk to me so i proceeded on. then i just heard this man (along with his boys) calling me a *****. i couldnt help but shake my head. shamed that black men treat their women this way. then they wonder why white boys are getting some play.

 

[esoterica]

i was just called a stupid bitc$ for not responding to a guy who was tryingto get my attention. i didnt even know he was trying to talk to me so i proceeded on. then i just heard this man (along with his boys) calling me a *****. i couldnt help but shake my head. shamed that black men treat their women this way. then they wonder why white boys are getting some play.

i swear these men were raised in a zoo.

 

[Lucia]

with these guys already

 

[CandiceC]

i was just called a stupid bitc$ for not responding to a guy who was tryingto get my attention. i didnt even know he was trying to talk to me so i proceeded on. then i just heard this man (along with his boys) calling me a *****. i couldnt help but shake my head. shamed that black men treat their women this way. then they wonder why white boys are getting some play.

That is just crazy.

Most of the time I just walk on as though I didn't hear the guy trying to holler. Thank goodness I walk pretty fast anyway.
Now that I'm married if I get caught up in some "game" I just respond with "I don't think my husband would like that" and keep it moving.

 

[CarLiTa]

I've said "no, I don't think my boyfriend would be happy to hear that"

and then they go: shawty, what yo man gotta do with us? and i'm just like ew whatever, just... leave me alone

 

[Candy_C]

Oh gosh i totally agree.

Its like their demanding a positive response, if they dont get it, ur a ******. At the London Notting Hill Carnival i was groped but whoevers been there will know its such a jam you dont see whos done what.

WHAT is the point though? a nice hello or a smile would work so much more better!

 

[esoterica]

Oh gosh i totally agree.

Its like their demanding a positive response, if they dont get it, ur a ******. At the London Notting Hill Carnival i was groped but whoevers been there will know its such a jam you dont see whos done what.

WHAT is the point though? a nice hello or a smile would work so much more better!

i've not been to carnival in years but i can only imagine how afwul it must be there. drunk fools everywhere that cant keep their hands to themselves.thats probably like their annual grope convention.

 

[Candy_C]

i've not been to carnival in years but i can only imagine how afwul it must be there. drunk fools everywhere that cant keep their hands to themselves.thats probably like their annual grope convention.

haha 4real it is! its not as good as it used to be. u have to watch your back! btw - u have stunning looks girl, keep it goin onnn!

 

[esoterica]

haha 4real it is! its not as good as it used to be. u have to watch your back! btw - u have stunning looks girl, keep it goin onnn!

thanks Candy_C
as for carnival, i've been twice and i can say with some level of certainty that i'll probably never go again. the music just doesnt do it for me anymore, the crowds just get bigger each year, and well, the thought of those men and their wandering hands just puts me right off.

 

[Chromia]

That is just crazy.

Most of the time I just walk on as though I didn't hear the guy trying to holler. Thank goodness I walk pretty fast anyway.
Now that I'm married if I get caught up in some "game" I just respond with "I don't think my husband would like that" and keep it moving.

I told a guy I was married (I'm not) so he would stop bothering me. His response was "Are you happy?". I just ignored him, which was difficult because we were on the subway & it was pretty crowded - he was talking really loud, too.

I told another guy that I had a boyfriend and he responded with "I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't mind if I took you to dinner". If the guy had approached me with respect then he could have taken me out.

 

[Bunny77]

I think they count on the shock factor. That you will be shocked that they would dare to say such horrible things to you.

I've slowly come to the conclusion over the years that it is RACIST for a man to talk to a black woman this way. Yes, racist -- and I dont care what color he is. He could be black and practicing racism against his own kind or a white racist, I dont care.

Why do I think it is racist? Becuase these fools would never DARE to talk to a white woman that way and part of the reason that they feel comfortable disrespecting us is because we are black and they think that we will eat their sh#$! That's why I get so annoyed with Beyonce and others who pepetrate the bootyshaking brainless bimbo image of us. Men all around the world see that ish and think that is how we will behave. Meanwhile, Beyonce and the other bimbos have their bodygaurds to keep these fools away and we, bodyguardless, are left to fend for ourselves, cause Lord knows many black men wont come and protect us and put us on a pedestal the way white men will fight for white women and put their women on a pedestal!

You know what? I totally agree. I have white and Asian female friends and they've NEVER gotten the types of comments from random dudes on the street (of any race, and definitely not black men). Yet I have.

I think they know that they could get in trouble for speaking that way to a non-black woman, but since black women ain't **** (in society's eyes), they can say/do whatever they want to us without repercussions.

And when we dare to speak up, we're the beeyotches.