**2015 Relationships & Dating Thread**

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You're better than me. I would've told him to go talk to his friends and I'll get back to him when I feel like it. Make him miss you.


:look:
 
Briabiggles said:
Is she the one who texts first? Maybe he just thought she was busy? Who knows. I guess I just would go off on a guy simply bc he didn't text me for 8 hours. Maybe I'm too laid back. I don't expect FH to text me every morning. He usually does but I don't worry if he doesn't. *shrug* Sent from my iPad mini mini.
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My FH and I don't text throughout the day honestly because I'm busy and the same for him. We text but not as frequently as others.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
One of my coworkers told me that females don't give gifts for valentines day but I still ended up getting him something. I just love giving gifts.

We went shopping a few weeks ago and he really wanted something but they didn't have his size so I found it and ordered it online today.

I also got us concert tickets...to a concert I would've gone to regardless because we are both fans so this is kind of for me too. Let's hope we don't break up before then :lol:
 
When we were drunk as heck this weekend I told him I wanted to be married this year :blush: and he said ok.

Fast forward to this morning...he offered me a key to his apt :crazy: it is what I think I want but it totally scared me. I didnt say anything and I left it where he put it.

I guess I know im kind of difficult so I am not in a rush to *** it up :nono:
 
I notice I have a habit of pulling back and shutting down when my needs in my relationships are not met. I will first verbalize to my partner what particular void I am feeling and what I am needing from them to fill it. Once I do that I give them the opportunity to do their part. Then if they do I pay attention to Consistency. I am not for instant gratification that has no longevity.

So with that said, if they are not consistent or if they hear my needs and fail to make any changes. I do not complain or nag I just simply pull back and redirect my attention elsewhere on things that i know I can do to fill it. I don't like doing that because in my eyes it is excluding them from a very integral part of my life but if this goes on for a while, the connection and desire for them in my life fades.
 
dede1129 said:
I notice I have a habit of pulling back and shutting down when my needs in my relationships are not met. I will first verbalize to my partner what particular void I am feeling and what I am needing from them to fill it. Once I do that I give them the opportunity to do their part. Then if they do I pay attention to Consistency. I am not for instant gratification that has no longevity.

So with that said, if they are not consistent or if they hear my needs and fail to make any changes. I do not complain or nag I just simply pull back and redirect my attention elsewhere on things that i know I can do to fill it. I don't like doing that because in my eyes it is excluding them from a very integral part of my life but if this goes on for a while, the connection and desire for them in my life fades.
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Me to a "T". If they can't meet whatever important need then they are not the one. For me its usually occurs around critical emotional, spiritual and sexual :look: needs.
 
DarkJoy said:
Me to a "T". If they can't meet whatever important need then they are not the one. For me its usually occurs around critical emotional, spiritual and sexual :look: needs.
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Me to a "T" :yep: Those are my critical needs as well and those are non negotiable for me. The ironic part is as soon as you pull back there is all this attention and inquiries as to what is wrong or do I need something. I could reiterate what I have previously mentioned again but instead I am just like *blink blink*

Take a timeout and think about it honey boo boo then maybe it will stick.
 
dede1129 said:
Me to a "T" :yep: Those are my critical needs as well and those are non negotiable for me. The ironic part is as soon as you pull back there is all this attention and inquiries as to what is wrong or do I need something. I could reiterate what I have previously mentioned again but instead I am just like *blink blink*

Take a timeout and think about it honey boo boo then maybe it will stick.
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EXACTLY! I tell him once. Maybe maaaaybe twice. Its not my job to be all up in some mans grill nagging him. Its an insult to him to treat him like a child and an waste of my precious time to treat him as such. So he either works it out with me or its deuces, bruh.
 
Ladies,
If you were married, would you help or motivate your husband get his life in order such as license issues (reinstating, removing parking tickets, DUI etc.), credit issues (giving tips to improve), finances (helping to save etc.) or any important items in his life that he’s procrastinating on (like I am about taking my cosmetology license)? Or, is it solely his responsibility to fix?
I understand why an unmarried person may NOT offer support but what about married? I’ve heard of husbands with bad debt, credit issues etc. and I often wonder, why doesn’t your wife help you with this? (of course I don’t know background info but that’s what comes to mind)
This also reminds me of the thread where we discussed lending people who live together money.
One person on the board stated that if you live with someone, there’s no reason why I should be lending you money. I guess some couple still operate as individuals who merely co-habitate.
YOUR life, YOUR issues.

It would appear that the less complicated or messy his life is, the better OUR life.
 
Fine 4s said:
Ladies,
If you were married, would you help or motivate your husband get his life in order such as license issues (reinstating, removing parking tickets, DUI etc.), credit issues (giving tips to improve), finances (helping to save etc.) or any important items in his life that he’s procrastinating on (like I am about taking my cosmetology license)? Or, is it solely his responsibility to fix?
I understand why an unmarried person may NOT offer support but what about married? I’ve heard of husbands with bad debt, credit issues etc. and I often wonder, why doesn’t your wife help you with this? (of course I don’t know background info but that’s what comes to mind)
This also reminds me of the thread where we discussed lending people who live together money.
One person on the board stated that if you live with someone, there’s no reason why I should be lending you money. I guess some couple still operate as individuals who merely co-habitate.
YOUR life, YOUR issues.

It would appear that the less complicated or messy his life is, the better OUR life.
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I'll give an honest answer. No, I wouldn't.

However, if he had some knowledge about the issue and could instruct me on exactly what he needed from me to help then I would help.

But then procrastination is a pet peeve of mine so...:look: My husband already knows that I don't tolorate procrastination.

ETA: DH had a financial issue that I refused to help him with. Once he formulated the plan I was there to support him 100% But, honestly, I didn't want to be bothered with finding a solution. *just being honest*
DUI - hmm, I would be annoyed but I would support him

The main thing is that I don't ever want him to get the idea that I'm some guru whose purpose in life is to solve and fix and support him through *uck ups and mistakes. He's knows that while I'm committed to him I also will lose respect for him if he conducts himself in certain ways.
 
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My bf just told me he "loaned" a friend a HUGE amount of money...like dang near his life savings for a new truck (for a business venture) and I'm really perturbed. I know it's his money but I wish he would've talked to me about it before he did it. This guy apparently had borrowed and paid him back before but never this much and he also has some financial issues going on due to a bad decision last year. He's been telling me he's on a budget this month but I didn't think it was that bad. His mother also borrowed another small fortune to finish her kitchen the next day. Valentine's Day is coming up and he keeps saying a ring is coming soon so I thing it would be that day until he told me this today. This really just shattered my hopes smdh. I'm just disappointed. I don't know what to say to him right now. I hope he gets his money back being that most ppl never pay back. Should I be bothered? Would you be bothered?
 
sky_blu said:
My bf just told me he "loaned" a friend a HUGE amount of money...like dang near his life savings for a new truck (for a business venture) and I'm really perturbed. I know it's his money but I wish he would've talked to me about it before he did it. This guy apparently had borrowed and paid him back before but never this much and he also has some financial issues going on due to a bad decision last year. He's been telling me he's on a budget this month but I didn't think it was that bad. His mother also borrowed another small fortune to finish her kitchen the next day. Valentine's Day is coming up and he keeps saying a ring is coming soon so I thing it would be that day until he told me this today. This really just shattered my hopes smdh. I'm just disappointed. I don't know what to say to him right now. I hope he gets his money back being that most ppl never pay back. Should I be bothered? Would you be bothered?
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could he just be trying to throw you off the track so you do not expect a ring? If not, yeah, I would be bothered by him loaning a friend such a large amount right before he asks you to start a new life with him. That could be yall's life savings soon. I would not like that he is loaning* huge sums of money and then asking me to live with him on a budget. :look: However, if you aren't so perturbed that it's a total game-changer, then it is good that this happened now because it is a great time to talk about expectations and priorities. Are you sure he is not trolling you, though (so the surprise is bigger? Don't be perturbed til you get all the facts. :look:)

*I am more talking about the friend here than the mom, because once y'all he get married, then yeah, he should check in before loaning even his mom a "small fortune" but if he has an engagement in mind, then maybe he is getting that out of the way now :look: I know that I'm getting my family-givings that will be future-husband business out of the way now, before October :look:

Anyway, yes I would be bothered but not sure to what degree.
 
He wasn't supposed to be home until the 28th and I was all down about spending valentine's day without him and he pulled some strings and surprised me and will be home tomorrow after not seeing him for a month! I am sooo excited! I have missed him like crazy.

I have no idea how to prepare for his arrival besides picking him up from the airport with a smile. ..any suggestions? ?
 
I give chocolate and end up taking it back to eat it myself

PlainJane said:
One of my coworkers told me that females don't give gifts for valentines day but I still ended up getting him something. I just love giving gifts.

We went shopping a few weeks ago and he really wanted something but they didn't have his size so I found it and ordered it online today.

I also got us concert tickets...to a concert I would've gone to regardless because we are both fans so this is kind of for me too. Let's hope we don't break up before then :lol:
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how long have yall been together
 
We went furniture shopping last weekend. And we're picking out colors for the living and dining room on Friday. We get the keys next Friday. Having people paint that Friday and Saturday. And furniture (and us) will be moved in Sunday.

Living with him is fun so far. He cooks everything! I've had breakfast everyday since moving in! And he's cooked dinner most nights, other times we'll grab something. I've done laundry. He warms my car up in the morning. This is great! Lol I can't wait to move into the proper apartment next weekend!
 
Welp. That's over. This sucks so much.
 

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Looking forward to giving my FH his Valentine's gifts this weekend. I'll be on my cycle :rolleyes: so no freaky deaky stuff... but he should appreciate his gifts. I've been kind of a twat lately with all the things going on with me, so I'm hoping to make up for it.

This is probably too late but if you're looking for a cute gift for your boo, check out www.datevitation.com. I got this for my FH and I'm really sure he is going to have a BLAST with it.. especially the 'adult' options lol. I inserted our photos on the stick figures so it's more personalized.

I really want to surprise him with a steak dinner, rose petals every where and me in something sexy tomorrow after work since we wont be getting it in this weekend, but I'm feeling bloated and kinda gross... I may just push through tho, take one for the team lol. We shall see.
 
The only gift I'm giving is that it'll be freshly waxed. :look:

I want to go to a steakhouse and then get tipsy and go dancing.
 
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InchHighPrivateEye said:
could he just be trying to throw you off the track so you do not expect a ring? If not, yeah, I would be bothered by him loaning a friend such a large amount right before he asks you to start a new life with him. That could be yall's life savings soon. I would not like that he is loaning* huge sums of money and then asking me to live with him on a budget. :look: However, if you aren't so perturbed that it's a total game-changer, then it is good that this happened now because it is a great time to talk about expectations and priorities. Are you sure he is not trolling you, though (so the surprise is bigger? Don't be perturbed til you get all the facts. :look:)

*I am more talking about the friend here than the mom, because once y'all he get married, then yeah, he should check in before loaning even his mom a "small fortune" but if he has an engagement in mind, then maybe he is getting that out of the way now :look: I know that I'm getting my family-givings that will be future-husband business out of the way now, before October :look:

Anyway, yes I would be bothered but not sure to what degree.
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After the fact we talked about it and agreed that it's something we should've talked about before and will in the future. And just to clarify the guy he loaned the money to had the financial issue not my bf. He's better with money than I am which is why he always has ppl borrowing...they know it too. I did think about him trying to throw me off too but I'm sure he's not. I'm feeling better today just needed to vent yesterday.
 
I hope everyone is doing well.

I have no idea what he's planned for Valentine's Day, but he's always good at planning our outings, and he hasn't disappointed me yet.

:giveheart:
 
FelaShrine said:
I give chocolate and end up taking it back to eat it myself how long have yall been together
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Over 6 months. I'm glad I ended up getting him a gift because he booked a suite for the weekend and I'm sure dinner will be expensive. I told him he's doing enough and to not get me an actual gift.
 
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