**2015 Relationships & Dating Thread**

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Whoooo chile....you goneto stop all that blowing up my phone and email....I'm out. Next!

I didn't think I could do it but today actually marks a year with this guy, so it's only fitting that I end it here. I always said the dynamics were wrong for me. I really didn't think I could let him go...but I've met someone who is more aligned with me. No widdle kiddies and he's not in law enforcement, so no more blue on blue crime...ha ha!

I've always said the best way to get over a man...is to get under a new one...I see no sense in changing my beliefs now.
 
Today is one of those days...been on my mind for the last two days...I swear it's all I can do to not call this kid and put in an order.
 
For those who are married or engaged, looking back did you notice that your guy made his intentions clear re: marriage and you being the 'one?'

I've been seeing subtle and maybe not so subtle signs from my guy. The signs range from him positioning himself career wise to be able to take care of us, referring to my dad as his father in law (my dad was in town yesterday and I mentioned that I wish he could have met him. He responded by saying that he'll meet his father in law soon). I don't know...I just get the impression that he is really serious about building a life with me and I want to know if stuff like this is par for the course....
 
shasha8685 said:
For those who are married or engaged, looking back did you notice that your guy made his intentions clear re: marriage and you being the 'one?'

I've been seeing subtle and maybe not so subtle signs from my guy. The signs range from him positioning himself career wise to be able to take care of us, referring to my dad as his father in law (my dad was in town yesterday and I mentioned that I wish he could have met him. He responded by saying that he'll meet his father in law soon). I don't know...I just get the impression that he is really serious about building a life with me and I want to know if stuff like this is par for the course....
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My fiance' made his intentions known. It sounds like your man is doing just that.
 
Second time with the clear female friends and I gotta say, they aren't really making an effort to include me. They are all talking (you know that small circle formation) and I'm literally aside sitting down looking so interested in what I'm typing to you guys. I'm not sure how to feel right now. I feel left out and this will be the last time I gather with them...trust. If he's with me and my friends we all talk they even pull him in. It's been minutes and I'm separated. He came over and asked me if I'm ok. I said yes (what ma suppose to say?). I'm all pissed ....lol
 
Fine 4s said:
Second time with the clear female friends and I gotta say, they aren't really making an effort to include me. They are all talking (you know that small circle formation) and I'm literally aside sitting down looking so interested in what I'm typing to you guys. I'm not sure how to feel right now. I feel left out and this will be the last time I gather with them...trust. If he's with me and my friends we all talk they even pull him in. It's been minutes and I'm separated. He came over and asked me if I'm ok. I said yes (what ma suppose to say?). I'm all pissed ....lol
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Awww...I'm mad too now. I hate being in situations like this and then being asked if I'm okay when obviously I'm not. If you want to be with me be in tune to my feelings.
 
My SO proposed on Saturday. It was a complete surprise. I had no idea! Apparently, my whole family and my closest friends knew, because he recruited their help. I always thought that I wanted to elope, when I got married. But having friends and family there for the proposal made it more special. So, I'd definitely want them at the wedding.
 
I'm beginning to think he's not the one. I'm heading out of town for 10 days on Thursday and I'm really looking forward to the space to clear my head.
 
So I don't know where to leave this question since its not directly about my FH and I, so I'll just ask it here.

Without getting into too many details, I have a very strained relationship with my parents but especially with my father. Communication with him is strained and limited to once a month via a text message that is more of a stock text that he sends out that asks and answers a question about my well being.For example, How are you doing? I hope all is well have a good day.

So the problem is that I do not want my father to walk me down the isle, personally I would rather just walk myself and meet my hunny. My FH just wants me to be happy but does wish I would suck it up and walk with my father. My mother flipped her lid when I even mentioned that I didnt want him walking me saying I was being disrespectful. The problem is I dont have a relationship with neither and we had a difficult...extremely difficult childhood that left me not speaking to him for years. My mother in law also thinks that I should let him walk me down the isle to save face from having people gossip about the wedding. I'm torn between saving face or my core values. I feel like the father "giving" away his daughter, including walking them down the isle and the father/daughter dance is reserved for parents and children who love and respect one another and who have intimate relationships with each other. So I just want to know what would you do in this situation.
 
NowIAmNappy said:
So I don't know where to leave this question since its not directly about my FH and I, so I'll just ask it here.

Without getting into too many details, I have a very strained relationship with my parents but especially with my father. Communication with him is strained and limited to once a month via a text message that is more of a stock text that he sends out that asks and answers a question about my well being.For example, How are you doing? I hope all is well have a good day.

So the problem is that I do not want my father to walk me down the isle, personally I would rather just walk myself and meet my hunny. My FH just wants me to be happy but does wish I would suck it up and walk with my father. My mother flipped her lid when I even mentioned that I didnt want him walking me saying I was being disrespectful. The problem is I dont have a relationship with neither and we had a difficult...extremely difficult childhood that left me not speaking to him for years. My mother in law also thinks that I should let him walk me down the isle to save face from having people gossip about the wedding. I'm torn between saving face or my core values. I feel like the father "giving" away his daughter, including walking them down the isle and the father/daughter dance is reserved for parents and children who love and respect one another and who have intimate relationships with each other. So I just want to know what would you do in this situation.
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Totally different situation. My father passed. No one is walking me down the aisle. Everyone keeps pressing me to have my son to do it. Its my day. My FH says whatever makes you happy. I don't need to save face for anyone. It's one day to celebrate not feel required. That's my view. It's you and your FH day. What you both decide should be respected.
 
Our father was at my sister's wedding but she didn't feel like he deserved to give her away. He knew it too so it wasn't an issue. Our brother walked her down the aisle (minus the giving away part) and it was beautiful. :) I have always maintained that if I got married, he would not be giving me away either.

One thing I have never done is let people make me feel guilty about how I choose to interact with my father. We have a better relationship now, but they have no idea how his absence really affected me. So I say don't let anyone, not even FH put that pressure on you if that's not what you want.
 
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NowIAmNappy said:
So I don't know where to leave this question since its not directly about my FH and I, so I'll just ask it here.

So I just want to know what would you do in this situation.
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A father walking the bride down the aisle is not a requirement or a right. Traditional..yes.
Are you inviting him? If so, he should feel honored with that.

You should feel comfortable on your wedding day and the focus during the planning should be on the fun stuff not repairing a strained relationship. Save that for later..if you are even interested.
 
Sigh... this dude is annoying me. I've never met a man that complained as much as he does. I'm trying to hang but he's in a negative place because he's not happy with his life. HE needs to fix that because I'm not about to let him verbally abuse me for his own personal mess. And I have no issue with not seeing him either. Thank goodness we've both been traveling a lot.
 
TayMac said:
A father walking the bride down the aisle is not a requirement or a right. Traditional..yes.
Are you inviting him? If so, he should feel honored with that.

You should feel comfortable on your wedding day and the focus during the planning should be on the fun stuff not repairing a strained relationship. Save that for later..if you are even interested.
Click to expand...

Thank you all, I don't know how to multi quote everyone but your advice is greatly appreciated. Sometimes I feel like the odd man out in these situations since my SO and his family are very close and I'm close to his family. I think when other people grow up in good home situations its hard for them to relate or understand why those who didnt have the best upbringing do not want certain traditions in their wedding. BTW yes I am inviting him.
 
shasha8685 said:
For those who are married or engaged, looking back did you notice that your guy made his intentions clear re: marriage and you being the 'one?'

I've been seeing subtle and maybe not so subtle signs from my guy. The signs range from him positioning himself career wise to be able to take care of us, referring to my dad as his father in law (my dad was in town yesterday and I mentioned that I wish he could have met him. He responded by saying that he'll meet his father in law soon). I don't know...I just get the impression that he is really serious about building a life with me and I want to know if stuff like this is par for the course....
Click to expand...
Looks like it's just a matter of time before he "puts a ring on it.":heart:
 
Fine 4s said:
Second time with the clear female friends and I gotta say, they aren't really making an effort to include me. They are all talking (you know that small circle formation) and I'm literally aside sitting down looking so interested in what I'm typing to you guys. I'm not sure how to feel right now. I feel left out and this will be the last time I gather with them...trust. If he's with me and my friends we all talk they even pull him in. It's been minutes and I'm separated. He came over and asked me if I'm ok. I said yes (what ma suppose to say?). I'm all pissed ....lol
Click to expand...
Hey fine 4's. Did you "clear the air" and let him know how rude that you felt they were being to you? Will he still keep the friends even though their behavior is quite shady? To me, their color is insignificant, but their behavior towards you should not be acceptable to him.
 
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