**2015 Relationships & Dating Thread**

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I really hate that after all these years of trying to be better, going to counseling, forgiving, being positive.... I still have moments/flashes of insecurity. I am totally aware that I have an amazing guy who loves me and is very committed... but I have these moments where something will happen or get said that will trigger old feelings/issues, and it's a downward spiral, and takes me a few hours to recover and get my mind right. It's very frustrating and embarrassing. I don't show it outwardly but inwardly it's a struggle. I wonder if it will always be like this...
 
tapioca_pudding said:
I really hate that after all these years of trying to be better, going to counseling, forgiving, being positive.... I still have moments/flashes of insecurity. I am totally aware that I have an amazing guy who loves me and is very committed... but I have these moments where something will happen or get said that will trigger old feelings/issues, and it's a downward spiral, and takes me a few hours to recover and get my mind right. It's very frustrating and embarrassing. I don't show it outwardly but inwardly it's a struggle. I wonder if it will always be like this...
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YES!!!!! It ALWAYS will be like this! That means you're growing and self aware.
1. We enter relationships to grow, mature and hopefully procreate.

2. This shows that this relationship you're in is stretching you as a person, and digging up your old dirt.

3. This also shows that mentally, your brain says you're ready to deal with this old dirt.
And now you have the self awareness to look into your past where you made those mistakes and not make them again

You're GROWING!!!!
:clap:
 
metro_qt said:
YES!!!!! It ALWAYS will be like this! That means you're growing and self aware.
1. We enter relationships to grow, mature and hopefully procreate.

2. This shows that this relationship you're in is stretching you as a person, and digging up your old dirt.

3. This also shows that mentally, your brain says you're ready to deal with this old dirt.
And now you have the self awareness to look into your past where you made those mistakes and not make them again

You're GROWING!!!!
:clap:
Click to expand...
:huggle: Thanks so much, I know that you're right. I have come a long way and 90% of things/triggers roll off my back. It's just that 10% that really bothers me sometimes, but I know that this feeling will pass soon. I just have to stay in control of my emotions so that I don't do or say anything stupid that I'll regret later.....
 
Fine 4s said:
We're off Friday too and have no plans! Well, our plans fell through.
Any ideas on making in a staycation or something exciting to do @NowIAmNappy ?
One question, how do I land me a 'finance' ? j/k
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LOL HA probably typing to fast.

Are you outdoorsy? How about go to the park, bike to the park and have a picnic, have a candlelit dinner, go lay out by the pool. My fiance and I went to six flags and spent the whole day being silly, like buying bunny ears and a cape and eating all the junk food we could. It wasnt the activity but the time together that was fun. In the evening we did a candlelit dinner on my balcony that was very sweet and intimate.
 
NowIAmNappy said:
D

Do it, I made my finance do a Tough Mudder with me, it really brought us together, he was all helpful and trying to show me how strong he was. Mind you I've been doing Tough Mudders for years. giggles.

I had such a great weekend last week with my fiance, we both took off work and spent Friday together it was so great to reconnect and focus on us and not discuss the wedding for one day.
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I'm seriously considering it but I'm a bit scared they are such tough races. He keep telling me he got me from start to finish. We'll see.
 
Why have the God's forsaken me so...talking about a curse and blessing....when not looking your age goes wrong...for both parties.

So I attended this networking event in honor of my sister's business. At the event is a nice looking brother all suited and booted. So we speak and exchange pleasantries. Later I'm stuffing my face with crawfish etouffee when my sister slides up next to me and tells me the guy is asking if I'm married. Of course she promptly tells him no. I asked her how old he was and she said she asked him and he told her he doesn't think age matters and hopes I don't either. I'm thinking late 30s maybe a new 40.

I more or less keep it moving, talking to other business owners, so when he get's ready to leave he gives my sister his card with his cell on the back to give to me. Turns out he's a bank executive, so I'm really thinking now he's a young looking 40. But something keeps nagging me. So we're talking and texting and he just will not tell me how old he is. He wants to make plans for this weekend to hang out Saturday. I agree, but I tell my daughter something is off about him, he won't tell me his age. And of course with her eye spy self she finds him on social media.

28....and a new 28 at that. I couldn't even finish my salad. I text him later and tell him look I have a son 35, a daughter 27 and another son 25 and I'm 52 so this is not going to happen...his response....so where would you like to go Saturday...
 
Well...
Dealing with the possible death of my 100 year old grandmother. Weird, but these moments can bring out the ugliness in family members. I just want her to be at peace. Don't want her to be scared, in pain or sad. But of course that's just a wish.....

So, what's up ladies? How are the lovies?
 
Fine 4s said:
Well...
Dealing with the possible death of my 100 year old grandmother. Weird, but these moments can bring out the ugliness in family members. I just want her to be at peace. Don't want her to be scared, in pain or sad. But of course that's just a wish.....

So, what's up ladies? How are the lovies?
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Hey there...so sorry to hear about your granny. Losing anyone at any age is never easy. And yeah...family can be really over rated at these times. I will keep you in prayer.

As for the love life...:drunk: ole boy...or rather young one is not backing down. He was out of town this weekend and called wanting to know when he could see me again. I found out he played football in college and was the ish....so that sort of explains his not backing down...he ain't use to not getting what he wants.
 
i dont know where else to post this.

i got on facebook earlier and saw i had a message from my deadbeat dad. the preview said he was thinking of me and something about karma. i honestly thought he was going to apologize for being such a trash dad for almost 30 years so i didn't read it immediately. i don't care about him at all, like, i can't even bring myself to hate him but im not even going to pretend i wasn't kinda impressed.

anyway, i just read it and why was it some damn copy and paste chain message? im about to cuss his stupid ass clean the **** out.
 
Oasis said:
i dont know where else to post this.

i got on facebook earlier and saw i had a message from my deadbeat dad. the preview said he was thinking of me and something about karma. i honestly thought he was going to apologize for being such a trash dad for almost 30 years so i didn't read it immediately. i don't care about him at all, like, i can't even bring myself to hate him but im not even going to pretend i wasn't kinda impressed.

anyway, i just read it and why was it some damn copy and paste chain message? im about to cuss his stupid ass clean the **** out.
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Whhhyyyy....do people post those stupid chains. He's trying to break the ice...or he sent it to everyone he's friends with....either way though.
 
Two things:
My grandmother made it through surgery. Yay! The mood has definitely been lifted.

It was interesting to hear my mother's cousin who is about 15 years older than me say that she would want my father to walk her down the isle because he was always there for her during her teenage years.
Uhm, where's was he for his real daughter? Just jacked up....anyway, I thought of you ladies.
 
This man doesn't want me at all. I am so glad that I finally got a job so I can run away. I am not even sad, I wouldn't have been able to live how I was living without his help and I get to walk away without a broken heart.
 
shespoison said:
This man doesn't want me at all. I am so glad that I finally got a job so I can run away. I am not even sad, I wouldn't have been able to live how I was living without his help and I get to walk away without a broken heart.
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I'm glad you aren't sad! Good for you. He can get out of the way of the man who wants you baaaaaaaad :)
What Ludacris say? "Move B.....get out the way"
 
Fine 4s said:
I'm glad you aren't sad! Good for you. He can get out of the way of the man who wants you baaaaaaaad :)
What Ludacris say? "Move B.....get out the way"
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Lol. He aint even really in the way. Man, I have learned so much in this situation. He is a good man but there is a reason that he is 40+ and never been married.
 
The weirdest thing happened the other day. I'm in the grocery store looking at bananas and talking to my dad on the phone when my ex walked in. The ex that, in the past, was the constant in my life, no matter who I went to dinner with or called myself dating. It was great! Lol. Zero awkwardness. It was actually 1 month to the day from my wedding date and it was obvious he knew I was engaged because he kept asking how I was doing, as if he was waiting on me to say more. It was really cool hearing a grown man say in the grocery store that he wished it were him and feel nothing but optimism for him. Not to read to much into it because it could just be that I live in a very small city :look: but I took that encounter, after years of not seeing him, as a sign. And the sign says A++++++++++ lol
 
Am I wrong for thinking he's being selfish?
I had a long week being with my grandmother in the hospital. You know no 0ne actually sleeps in a hospital.
I'm back home now and he wants to be intimate. I'm really not in that space. Possible death, family accusations, lack of sleep. I'm in a bad space, I'm closed off, I feel it. as if I'm bracing for something or just trying to stay afloat. All I need is a friend in him right now. Not someone who's pouty for not getting any. It kinda makes me sad.
 
Fine 4s said:
Am I wrong for thinking he's being selfish?
I had a long week being with my grandmother in the hospital. You know no 0ne actually sleeps in a hospital.
I'm back home now and he wants to be intimate. I'm really not in that space. Possible death, family accusations, lack of sleep. I'm in a bad space, I'm closed off, I feel it. as if I'm bracing for something or just trying to stay afloat. All I need is a friend in him right now. Not someone who's pouty for not getting any. It kinda makes me sad.
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I'm so sorry to hear this @Fine 4s Maybe he doesn't know how to communicate? Men are sometimes terrible at supporting their SO's in highly emotional moments
 
Things have been very hard at times since around May. First I found out I may have a serious health condition, then in July he became ill. Life is full of tests at the moment.
 
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