**2015 Relationships & Dating Thread**

[shasha8685]

After dang near 2 years, I got an apology from my ex for the way he treated me. It was surreal b/c I was at a point where I didn't need his apology so really when he said it, all I could say was 'thanks for telling me.'

I didn't want to know why he treated me the way that he did (they way I see it, wrong is wrong and there is absolutely nothing that he can say that would make his treatment of me ok). I still don't want to know. I don't really care. I'm just left wondering why now? When apology would've meant the world to me, he stopped speaking to me. What's so different now?

My friend suspects that there may be some other motive. But for the time being, I think I handled his apology gracefully. At least I hope I was graceful about it.

 

[shespoison]

Looks like the end is near.

 

[hopeful]

After dang near 2 years, I got an apology from my ex for the way he treated me. It was surreal b/c I was at a point where I didn't need his apology so really when he said it, all I could say was 'thanks for telling me.'

I didn't want to know why he treated me the way that he did (they way I see it, wrong is wrong and there is absolutely nothing that he can say that would make his treatment of me ok). I still don't want to know. I don't really care. I'm just left wondering why now? When apology would've meant the world to me, he stopped speaking to me. What's so different now?

My friend suspects that there may be some other motive. But for the time being, I think I handled his apology gracefully. At least I hope I was graceful about it.

You answered your question in the first paragraph. You no longer needed/wanted his apology and had moved on. I doubt it's much deeper than that. Women say over and over that men have radar and sense when you are happy -- and can't stand it, can't stand being forgotten and ignored. Try your best to not give him or his apology another thought.

 

[MzLady78]

After dang near 2 years, I got an apology from my ex for the way he treated me. It was surreal b/c I was at a point where I didn't need his apology so really when he said it, all I could say was 'thanks for telling me.'

I didn't want to know why he treated me the way that he did (they way I see it, wrong is wrong and there is absolutely nothing that he can say that would make his treatment of me ok). I still don't want to know. I don't really care. I'm just left wondering why now? When apology would've meant the world to me, he stopped speaking to me. What's so different now?

My friend suspects that there may be some other motive. But for the time being, I think I handled his apology gracefully. At least I hope I was graceful about it.

I remember running into an ex after 8 years and getting an apology. I was like "boy, bye."

 

[Bette Davis Eyes]

I can't wait until family day! So far but yet so close.

 

[mochalocks]

Smh. Can't stand a man that has a say in EVERYTHING I decide to do. I don't know if it's him being controlling, or he's concerned. I'm more leaning towards him being controlling.



I told him since March he has to shape up, or ship out. So far no changes yet.

 

[movingforward13]

After dang near 2 years, I got an apology from my ex for the way he treated me. It was surreal b/c I was at a point where I didn't need his apology so really when he said it, all I could say was 'thanks for telling me.'

I didn't want to know why he treated me the way that he did (they way I see it, wrong is wrong and there is absolutely nothing that he can say that would make his treatment of me ok). I still don't want to know. I don't really care. I'm just left wondering why now? When apology would've meant the world to me, he stopped speaking to me. What's so different now?

My friend suspects that there may be some other motive. But for the time being, I think I handled his apology gracefully. At least I hope I was graceful about it.

Why now? No prospects- he is looking back on that Rolodex. After so long of not speaking, he needed to apologize to open the door. Now he said sorry, the door is open.

Do not let this man come back into your life. Accept the apology and never speak to him again. If he tries to reconnect with you, tell him that ship is long gone, even to be a friend. Speaking from experience here, too many times I been the forgiving one and let men who treated me dirty back into my life, only for them to act right in the interim and **** me over again once they felt like they had alternatives.

If he were remorseful, then my advice would be different. He isn't- he just doesn't have anyone to do right now. Remorse is not "sorry and other kind words". Remorse is action to show they understand how much they hurt you and that they are willing to take the steps to repair your relationship with them.

 

[movingforward13]

*hugs*

Looks like the end is near.

 

[movingforward13]

He hasn't shipped up because there haven't been any consequences. What have you done to show him you are serious?

Smh. Can't stand a man that has a say in EVERYTHING I decide to do. I don't know if it's him being controlling, or he's concerned. I'm more leaning towards him being controlling.



I told him since March he has to shape up, or ship out. So far no changes yet.

 

[mochalocks]

He hasn't shipped up because there haven't been any consequences. What have you done to show him you are serious?

We haven't seen each other since March. He would usually come by, but I told him he couldn't if he didn't start taking me out on dates.

 

[movingforward13]

But what's the consequence? You are still talking to him. He is saving you on the back burner. When he is ready, he can just start taking you out and see you again. You are there "waiting" so he sees it as he's in control. Remove the control for him and instill the consequence. He gets no more access to you. No phone calls, no text messages, nothing. You are not a toy to be played with.

We haven't seen each other since March. He would usually come by, but I told him he couldn't if he didn't start taking me out on dates.

 

[mochalocks]

But what's the consequence? You are still talking to him. He is saving you on the back burner. When he is ready, he can just start taking you out and see you again. You are there "waiting" so he sees it as he's in control. Remove the control for him and instill the consequence. He gets no more access to you. No phone calls, no text messages, nothing. You are not a toy to be played with.

Right. Right. True. I have to do this then.

 

[movingforward13]

Right. Right. True. I have to do this then.

*hugs* *hugs* and more *hugs*

 

[mochalocks]

*hugs* *hugs* and more *hugs*

Thank you

 

[tuffCOOKiE]

My ex keeps texting me all types of foolishness and I can't seem to have the nerve to block him!

 

[Bette Davis Eyes]

I have a feeling my soon to be in-laws are going to be a handful.

Whoosah.

 

[NowIAmNappy]

I love my fiance. Hes so amazing, I love how whenever people try to interject on my wedding ideas he shuts them down quickly and says its whatever I want and its our wedding and not theirs.

 

[Bette Davis Eyes]

No mail since last Saturday. I keep stalking the mailman giving him the stinkeye .

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Sometimes I want to punch him. Ugh.

 

[Bette Davis Eyes]

My SO father gave us his blessing last night. He's so blunt it's funny sometimes.

 

[Allandra]

We had such a lovely Sunday. This man knows how to keep me smiling (lucky me - and yes, lucky him too lol).

 

[Bette Davis Eyes]

Ut oh. Babe hurt himself.

 

[Allandra]

Hi ladies. I hope everyone is doing ok.

 

[Fine 4s]

Church is at 6 and you're driving to downtown where there's limited parking and you tell me this at 5:55?! I was upset and told him to forget about it. He said he was close and made an effort to find parking and made it 10 minutes late. Then, he was upset that I was snippy on the phone and it just went south. So we didn't go in. We talked it out on the way home; I was calming down and so was he. But I'm not all the way calm just yet. I get home to find food cooked, the house clean and now I feel like an idiot. Now he's acting more upset than me probably because he feels unappreciated.

How do I tend the olive branch when I still wanna kick him in the balls for messing up my plans?

 

[PeaceFlow]

Acknowledge: the effort he made to get there and the nice stuff he did for you at home.

Apologise : for getting snappy.

Explain: Why promptness and being alerted to impending lateness is important to you. Also suggest how you would like him to deal with a similar situation in the future. Explain that you don't feel able to go to church after emotional upset and it was not just to spite him.

 

[Fine 4s]

And then just got this.....

 

[Bette Davis Eyes]

What @Sumra said! Good advice.

 

[gimbap]

I need an unbiased opinion....anyone willing to hear my relationship issue and give advice? PM me please

 

[crlsweetie912]

I need an unbiased opinion....anyone willing to hear my relationship issue and give advice? PM me please

@gimbap can you receive pm's?

 

[gimbap]

@gimbap can you receive pm's?

Yes I can