2012 Relationship Random Thoughts.... Part III

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This boy must think I'm stupid...if you wanted me to go out with your family then u would have asked me earlier, not at the last minute

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Well I went on a first date last night. Went to a random bar.. ate food and chatted. Idk if I'm into him like that though... but hes a cool guy. A gentleman. Very cards on the table.
 
Its been a lackadaisical week for me. We are suppose to go walk the bluff.

He picked and stored firewood for bonfires at the beach, backyard fire pit and camping. Hopefully today we can decide on a date because I want to do the first camping trip before kids get out of school. We are crunched for time.
 
I'm out to lunch with DS and I overhear this guy on a first date. He's boasting about how smart he was in high school, etc., then he says "You read my mind, it's almost like you have ESPN" LOL!
 
Fh just came to my job to take me to lunch. We get back here and upon him leaving, one of the inpatient nurses spotted him first before she saw me. Her reaction was so thirsty...wow.

It's a crying shame. I know she feels stupid now that she realizes he was not alone. LOL

Next time I see her, I'm going to chuckle.
 
So... The one I want is trying to step up. They usually do that when I decide to fall back. Falling back allowed me to share my disappointment with him in a non-emotionally attached way. I told him the things that could have been done differently as if it were a wrap. He told me the things that WILL be done differently and has already made some moves. I cant get emotionally vested in this just yet... So we will see.

So the one that I'm not sure about... He's still going too hard. But he is nice and seems pretty honest. He told me that he had to move back home due to financial reasons and is in the process of looking for a new home... Now, I'm not one to judge but I'm not stupid either. Actions speak louder than words! Our first date is this weekend... So all of this might be null and void if I don't like him like that! I do not like getting to know people over the phone before being around them for a significant time. Phone convos vs. face to face interaction can be very different!!!

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So he said he was disappointed that I didn't come out with his family and guess what I really don't care.

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Really dude? You're serious with this? Miss me with that. Yes I'm an auntie and not a mommie...AND? I'm also a grandmother to an almost 1-year-old, you mad?! Ugh.
 
So I was supposed to go on an OK Cupid date tomorrow. Tossing caution to the wind! Well, *** that! I did a google search on my date(my dad also helped) (picking up clues from email is sooooo easy!) and while I didn't find him to be a liar about his age or whatever, I don't like his line of business. Shady!!

Plus he deleted his photos from his profile. Shady again!!!
 
I still have some issues with feeling like I will be discounting my daughter if I give my time or love to another little girl outside of her and my sisters kids. Not to mention she is a girly girl like me and my daughter is a stud. My daughter feels like she failed me in that area. I know she is going to be feeling some kinda way deep inside but its not my fault she isn't a gay lipstick chick anymore.

My baby is going to say something like she is joking but its going to be slightly serious like "you can only be my mother". One step at a time, one day at a time. Don't try to rush me in that area dude.
 
Wtf??? So I am on fb on my phone and accidentally hit the other tab which is messages from groups and pages I have liked. I see messages from the" best friend"of guy that I have spoken about on several occasions on here (engaged after a month of cutting it off). I never seen the messages before.

He sent me a message pretty much saying he was interested. That was dated in march. Then he sent a message on cinco de mayo asking if I was free. I look at the messages like what de hayle!!! This was suppose to be his boy, his BRUH( frat bro)...wtf is the loyalty.

I thought it was a joke. I asked why the hell he sending me messages. We never hung out, we weren't cool like that. I know loser face talked about me like that but either I really made an impression or this a joke.

But anyway dude said that he always thought I was cute and that he felt that mentally he was a better fit. He said that he wanted to get to know me better even if it's not dating.

I said 1. If S is your friend I see why bc that is grimy and nasty. 2. I never date friends of guys I use to **** with. 3. If you are associated with S (I said full name) then hell no.

He then told me that they are not cool no more and he wanted to get to know me even if it's as friends. This dude kept saying how sorry he was that me and S didnt work out. Im like this ninja probably knew what dirt S was pulling and encoraged it. He told me that he really like my insight on life and I talk about things that many women don't discuss (rollseye). He also said that I am magnetic. He only met me twice and the first time S introduced me to him and we started talking about astrology and numerology but that's it. I met him again when he came to visit S and I spent the night.

He told me that occasionally he will hit me up and he wished he met me before S. I was like bye girl fly girl.

I swear I am spot on about people. I always felt that this close friend really wasn't a friend to S. I never liked his *** but never said something to S bc I only met the guy twice. But my sensors never fail, I just know to listen to them no matter what.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Another long work day. Yeesh. He basically has two jobs now...I wish he would relax.



I think this mindset can be be really detrimental to a relationship.

idk. i think if a relationship is too much work i might decide that we were just fundamentally incompatible. i dont believe that it should be a struggle for us just to get along and relate to each other. like i follow your comments in this thread and it seems like while you really enjoy being your bf's girlfriend, you guys have some pretty bad communication issues. and every other week youre like welp maybe we're gonna break up. if i were in that kind of relationship id probably go ahead and decide that however much we like each other, it just isnt working and i would be better with someone else. so i guess it just depends on perspective and how much someone is willing to work to fit the pieces together. saying that it's better when the pieces fit together easily - i dont think is a bad view to have on relationships, just because it's true! things are a little more fun when theyre easier, i think :lol:
 
Really?
Your ask stood me up the other day (you are blocked now from my cell phone) and you call me at work today like nothing happened....naw bruh......smgdh....:nono:
 
SuchMagnificance said:
I would like to have a boyfriend by the end of the year

I actually put a healthy relationship on my vision board for 2012 and i have two really good prospects! Make it a goal and execute!
 
Really?
Your ask stood me up the other day (you are blocked now from my cell phone) and you call me at work today like nothing happened....naw bruh......smgdh....:nono:

Don't you just love that? Loser.

I'm in a surprisingly good mood today. We decided not do the whole phony chit-chat thing and back off until we can meet up and talk in person this weekend, but he did text me "good morning, I hope you have a great day".

IDK, it's weird. I know this convo may be unpleasant but I'm actually not that concerned. Maybe because I don't really think any more damage can be done at this point. Or maybe because like I've told him I've already made up my mind about how I'm going to proceed. I'm ready to move on with my life. I just want to address the things I wanted to talk about before he left and be done with it.
 
You said to enjoy having the best of both worlds, best friend and lover all wrapped up into one. I love it so far but I wish I had a crystal ball...
 
idk. i think if a relationship is too much work i might decide that we were just fundamentally incompatible. i dont believe that it should be a struggle for us just to get along and relate to each other. like i follow your comments in this thread and it seems like while you really enjoy being your bf's girlfriend, you guys have some pretty bad communication issues. and every other week youre like welp maybe we're gonna break up. if i were in that kind of relationship id probably go ahead and decide that however much we like each other, it just isnt working and i would be better with someone else. so i guess it just depends on perspective and how much someone is willing to work to fit the pieces together. saying that it's better when the pieces fit together easily - i dont think is a bad view to have on relationships, just because it's true! things are a little more fun when theyre easier, i think :lol:

Ummm I haven't mentioned breaking up with him at least 3 days, check yourself :lol: Kidding, I totally know what you mean. I think about this a lot - is it too much work? Too much trying? I think because everything else is so easy with us that when a minor issue comes up I blow it out of proportion. Our communication is really not that big of a problem, but the 2% of the time I'm unhappy with it I forget the 98% good and only focus on the problem. I believe in very low effort. But I've learned, and I'm sure other people instinctively know this, that it can take work to communicate accurately and it takes work to resolve conflicting desires and beliefs.

I actually only made that comment because it reminded me of research I'm doing for a publication. We're studying couples and their mindsets regarding relationships. A percentage believe that if it's meant to be then everything good will automatically happen. They don't believe they should have to work to help one another solve their problems; they expect the problems to never occur or be magically solved through their love. The other couples believe good, lasting relationships come from effort and from working through inevitable differences. I'm conducting final interviews now but so far the couples with the second mindset stay together longer and report feeling happier in their relationships.

tl;dr, I know.
 
yeah. i know relationships take work, but if my relationship was nothing BUT work, it's not for me. i think there's a difference between having a problem and working through it and struggling every day to be on the same page/get along (not to say that is the case in your relationship).
 
I guess I'm not the only one bursting out hurtful words. I just told him that my dad doesn't take him seriously. He took it HARD.
 
I guess I'm not the only one bursting out hurtful words. I just told him that my dad doesn't take him seriously. He took it HARD.


Yeah, I could see that happening. It was just a knee jerk reaction that I blurted that out to him.
 
He dropped off the groceries, gave me a kiss on forehead and left for his Doctor appointment. He wants me to wear the stupid pink Lakers basketball cap he bought me. I told him I'll wear a Clippers or OKC jersey before I do all of that. :lol:
 
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