Your man in the strip club...
- Thread starter breezy
- Start date
BlkManWithSomeSense said:LOL. I 'm not hyped. It wasnt personally aimed at you. I spoke in passion.
I thought about changing a few things to make sure it wouldnt be taken that way..
I'm sorry. It's cool to agree to disagree and of course you have to do what works for you. I still feel passionately about what I said but I know my views are on the conservative side of things.
I look forward to your post in 2013 celebrating 10 great years but damn you know how old thats going to make me?...*sigh*...I do sense that you and your hubby have a great relationship. I wish it was as sound as some of my friends who let their husbands do the strip club thing but get mad if they look at a woman walking down the street.
Don't you dare back down, knowing full well you spoke the truth! You and Pebbles are the only two who've exposed this mess for what it is.
You're not one to play 'pattie-cake' with the devil nor his advocates. AND for the record, you haven't. My comment is a compliment.
Keep your passion. Someone has to. Someone needs to take a stand and STAY there. You are one who surely does. I'm all about keeping the peace, but not at the expense of compromise. Your passion did nor does not come without reason and it is by reason of truth.
You've been there and you know of others who have. You're not blinded to the truth of the matter. What you speak is not an opinion, but it's a fact of consequences. Consequences that are not only inevitable but hard to undo. The mind is a terrible thing to waste and sadder still a marriage. Why on God's green earth would one wish to pollute it?
And I'll say this, it doesn't matter nor will it ever matter who agrees or disagrees, the consequences will speak loud and clear for themselves in another thread "Why did he do this to me?"
Well now, I'm off to my girl Pebs to cheer her on as well.
I know the two of you can 'fend' for yourselves and quite well at that, but I'm not one sit in the background...I'm coming out to cheer you on. You spoke the truth, and blessed my soul. And for Pebs, not only do I 'cheer' her on, but if and when necessary, I coming off with my earrings.
Nobody messes with my angels.
breezy
New Member
Shimmie said:
You and Pebbles are the only two who've exposed this mess for what it is.
You're not one to play 'pattie-cake' with the devil nor his advocates. AND for the record, you haven't. My comment is a compliment.
Keep your passion. Someone has to. Someone needs to take a stand and STAY there. You are one who surely does. I'm all about keeping the peace, but not at the expense of compromise. Your passion did nor does not come without reason and it is by reason of truth.
You've been there and you know of others who have. You're not blinded to the truth of the matter. What you speak is not an opinion, but it's a fact of consequences. Consequences that are not only inevitable but hard to undo. The mind is a terrible thing to waste and sadder still a marriage. Why on God's green earth would one wish to pollute it?
And I'll say this, it doesn't matter nor will it ever matter who agrees or disagrees, the consequences will speak loud and clear for themselves in another thread "Why did he do this to me?"
Well now, I'm off to my girl Pebs to cheer her on as well.
I know the two of you can 'fend' for yourselves and quite well at that, but I'm not one sit in the background...I'm coming out to cheer you on. You spoke the truth, and blessed my soul. And for Pebs, not only do I 'cheer' her on, but if and when necessary, I coming off with my earrings.
Nobody messes with my angels.
Since nobody messes with you and your angels, I won't sit and let someone mess with mine
Shimmie, your opinions are just that love, opinions. If it's the truth to you that's all good and I respect that. Just realize that you must do the same for me. I can read your posts and understand where you are coming from w/ no need to criticize b/c I realize that we are all different and have different ways of thinking.
The strip club isn't that big of a deal to me, I'd rather fight the devils that actually could do a harm to a marriage, such as lack of communication and commitment, and finances and things like that.
If someone feels that something isn't a good idea for their marriage and choose not to participate b/c of it, I can greatly respect that w/o judgement.
And as for your remark on the outcome or consequences...I think that's pretty sad and harsh. Would you be waiting on the thread from the woman who was constantly jealous and pushed her husband away, or from the woman who married the wrong man in the first place? I doubt it. And further, to imply that these will be the consequences if a man does visit a strip club occasionally is quite ludicrous to me, when more men than you can imagine actually do it.
Plus, I've heard of many "respectable" men who wouldn't set foot in a strip club or even a night club cheating on the wife and humuliating her, so I hope you're waiting on those threads to show up as well.
creolebeauty
New Member
LocksOfLuV said:
Ok, we disagree
. I'm going to leave this topic alone.
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sweetascocoa
New Member
i asked my bf to take me to a strip club just because i want to see what its like. I wouldnt mind if he went to a strip club with his friends like once a year or something. Its really not a big deal. We're both young and we're trying to have as much fun as we can
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
I agree. I see where she's trying to go with that, but I can't agree with it. I've known too many men who do their dirt in secret. I just cannot make the statement that men who go to clubs with thier wives' permission are going to ruin the marriage or end up cheating. It's just not that simple.
Hey Darlin' ... you know I got your back...pebbles said:Of course he can go out the house. He can play golf, go to a game, hang out at a friends house, etc. But I'm not down with the strip club.
I just started reading and all I can do is say Oh dear...Love you...
HoneyDew
Well-Known Member
Since my man does not see the point in strip clubs, I would not mind if he goes for some occasion (are there strip club occasions? )
My man is very conservative and thinks that strip clubs make men look bad. Sitting there staring at a fake naked woman that thinks he is just a dollar bill. He is a very deep artist and needs more than that to stimulate him.
But, once he was visiting his brother and they went to a strip club. I did not mind and he knew that I would not. He told me all about it. No biggie.
But, I dated a guy that seemed addicted to anything immoral.
erplexed
I was blinded at the time but I also felt insecure in that relationship.
After falling in love with a man that has more substance, I don't think I can deal with anything less.
)My man is very conservative and thinks that strip clubs make men look bad. Sitting there staring at a fake naked woman that thinks he is just a dollar bill. He is a very deep artist and needs more than that to stimulate him.
But, once he was visiting his brother and they went to a strip club. I did not mind and he knew that I would not. He told me all about it. No biggie.
But, I dated a guy that seemed addicted to anything immoral.
erplexedI was blinded at the time but I also felt insecure in that relationship.
After falling in love with a man that has more substance, I don't think I can deal with anything less.
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LocksOfLuV
New Member
breezy said:Well, as an apparent Devil's Advocate can I just say that I much prefer chess or something else stimulating? I played patty cake as a child
Hey breezy don't worry about it mama. Nobody here is GOD and nor is their word. I don't think LHCF was ready for this post
but it was a rather fun discussion. Great points on both sides. Some people are too arogant in their own ways to see this post as it is-learning different perspectives and not nec. having to agree. Just the cockiness gets to me.LocksOfLuV
New Member
RavenIvygurl said:
Oh oh, I didn't see this.
I want some angels, too!
LMMFAOOOOOO!!!!!! Angels can be catty too!
j/k
breezy
New Member
LocksOfLuV said:LMMFAOOOOOO!!!!!! Angels can be catty too!
Chile you ain't no...Angel's can say whatever they want as long as they doing the Lord's work! But yeah...maybe I shouldn't have made the thread, but I've enjoyed it, I learned a lot. Believe it or not I understand the people who do think it's wrong and I enjoyed and respected every one of their posts
breezy said:You can be one of Breezy's angels! All of you Devil's Advocates out there with nowhere to go...I got yalls back...we can fight the good fight together!
Breezy's angels!! We need three people though. I want to be Farrah Fawcet aka Beyonce. Or maybe Kelly. I don't wanna be Michelle
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
breezy said:Chile you ain't no...Angel's can say whatever they want as long as they doing the Lord's work! But yeah...maybe I shouldn't have made the thread, but I've enjoyed it, I learned a lot. Believe it or not I understand the people who do think it's wrong and I enjoyed and respected every one of their posts
No, I think this was a great thread, like all your threads!
LocksOfLuV
New Member
breezy said:Chile you ain't no...Angel's can say whatever they want as long as they doing the Lord's work! But yeah...maybe I shouldn't have made the thread, but I've enjoyed it, I learned a lot. Believe it or not I understand the people who do think it's wrong and I enjoyed and respected every one of their posts
Me too, it was a good post!
mermaid
Well-Known Member
Well, all I can do is offer food for thought and some insight nto that world.s_terry said:
I have always said that just because someone is a stripper doesn't mean they are out for your man (but they are after his money.
Don't doubt that.
They will take and encourage him to his that atm, use the CC whatever, that's how they get paid);
HOWEVER there are women in the clubs who can see more than money in YOUR man (yes, YOURS) than a few bucks and she will turn on a different kind of charm.
The kind that maybe comes at the right time in his life that makes him pay attention to her and the next thing anyone knows, they are sweating and making animal noises in the backseat of a car or in a hotel.
I have seen men come in with pure (you know what I mean, lol) intentions, just coming in with the guys, not even his idea, probably protested but was outvoted and some girl happens to be there and doesn't come on with the aggressive approach (contrary to popular opinion, the aggressive approach is not the one that gets his pants off), she approaches him softly, friendly, flirty but not obvious- maybe she reminds him of a younger, pre-baby YOU, who knows, but something clicks and she's got him.
Then the dude feels horrible because he realizes what he's done. Can't believe it. Starts to act weird at home, not bad, but different because he's consummed with guilt.
Or, there's the guys that travel for business, don't know anyone in town, so they go to a strip club because it's social but no one looks at you wierd because you are by yourself. He comes in with his wedding ring on the corrrect finger, couple hours later it's on theopposite hand. Or in his pocket.
I've been sitting with guys whose cell phone rang and they sa it was their wife, they get up, go outside and tell the wife they are at a little dive bar watching a game, or hanging out to kill time or whatever. I have even been sitting next to one while he answered the phone in the club and said he and his buddy were at some bar (you know what was VERY weird about that one- that guy was an attorney and GUESS who was the Judge Pro Tem at one of my court appearances for my driver's license?? Yep. He kept staring at me and I was couldn't figure out what was the problem and why is he staring at me and it hit me- 'This dude saw me nekkid!! He know where I am pierced and tattooed!!" And I knew my case would be dropped. And it was, lol!!!)
You know that wife doesn't doubt him for a minute.
I will stand by my stance and say that it's not the stripper (job) it's the person doing the job and the customer (job, I guess) it's the guy playing the role of the customer that will actually cheat, but the whole envirnment of the strip club and the open sexuality and sensuality and they way the dancers act towards the men make cheating seem not so bad, just a little indescretion, no one will know, right?
Yes, it can happen anywhere. Absolutely. It is easier to carry on an affair at work than in a strip club (no sudden draws from the account, no super late nights). And those affairs, I'll bet are more likely to turn into a relationship because co-workers know each other more than 2 people meeting in a club one night; but there is something about the strip club environment that makes it okay to act on a lustful thought.
Sorry, I have seen how a normally devoted husband can step into the fantasy world and forget who he really is and give in to what is offered.
As I have said before, some dancers (men and women, both) will do it for money), most do not. They do it because they want to get with that man (or woman).
Don't be fooled by that "I don't pay for it", because they probably didn't. They are betting that you are someone who mistakenly believe stripper means prosititute.
Most of you probably have good men and this doesn't apply. I just don't want to see a post on the board a year later about "how could he do this to me" because you are going about things with blinders on, secure in the thought of "not my man".
Yes, your man can do it. My man can do it (and I don't forget that for a minute, I am not that naive). Her man can do it. ANYONE can do it- not everyone will, but humans are flawed, we have feelings and emotions and things like that cloud our decision making capabilities and sometimes a strong attraction can make some do something they would have never EVER considered doing. They know it's wrong, but can't reisist.
*sigh* Sorry so long. I've held a lot of friends while they cried over this. I have done it myself (no one from the clubs, though, which is weird). I have read posts on THIS board about ladies who's men have done it and posts from ladies who have done it as well.
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
LocksOfLuV said:No offense to Mermaid or anyone else who danced, but most of these strippers are kinda
If a man is willing to sleep with a women who OBVIOUSLY he doesn't know where she been then given ANY opportunity he will cheat.
i dont think it matters what the girl looks like for some men if a girl is throwing it in his face, he'll sleep with her. my ex for example i swear would sleep with anythign that had a vagina. not all men care what a girl looks like as long as she'll give it up.
and no im not cool with it.
breezy
New Member
mermaid said:Well, all I can do is offer food for thought and some insight nto that world.
I have always said that just because someone is a stripper doesn't mean they are out for your man (but they are after his money.
Don't doubt that.
They will take and encourage him to his that atm, use the CC whatever, that's how they get paid);
HOWEVER there are women in the clubs who can see more than money in YOUR man (yes, YOURS) than a few bucks and she will turn on a different kind of charm.
The kind that maybe comes at the right time in his life that makes him pay attention to her and the next thing anyone knows, they are sweating and making animal noises in the backseat of a car or in a hotel.
I have seen men come in with pure (you know what I mean, lol) intentions, just coming in with the guys, not even his idea, probably protested but was outvoted and some girl happens to be there and doesn't come on with the aggressive approach (contrary to popular opinion, the aggressive approach is not the one that gets his pants off), she approaches him softly, friendly, flirty but not obvious- maybe she reminds him of a younger, pre-baby YOU, who knows, but something clicks and she's got him.
Then the dude feels horrible because he realizes what he's done. Can't believe it. Starts to act weird at home, not bad, but different because he's consummed with guilt.
Or, there's the guys that travel for business, don't know anyone in town, so they go to a strip club because it's social but no one looks at you wierd because you are by yourself. He comes in with his wedding ring on the corrrect finger, couple hours later it's on theopposite hand. Or in his pocket.
I've been sitting with guys whose cell phone rang and they sa it was their wife, they get up, go outside and tell the wife they are at a little dive bar watching a game, or hanging out to kill time or whatever. I have even been sitting next to one while he answered the phone in the club and said he and his buddy were at some bar (you know what was VERY weird about that one- that guy was an attorney and GUESS who was the Judge Pro Tem at one of my court appearances for my driver's license?? Yep. He kept staring at me and I was couldn't figure out what was the problem and why is he staring at me and it hit me- 'This dude saw me nekkid!! He know where I am pierced and tattooed!!" And I knew my case would be dropped. And it was, lol!!!)
You know that wife doesn't doubt him for a minute.
I will stand by my stance and say that it's not the stripper (job) it's the person doing the job and the customer (job, I guess) it's the guy playing the role of the customer that will actually cheat, but the whole envirnment of the strip club and the open sexuality and sensuality and they way the dancers act towards the men make cheating seem not so bad, just a little indescretion, no one will know, right?
Yes, it can happen anywhere. Absolutely. It is easier to carry on an affair at work than in a strip club (no sudden draws from the account, no super late nights). And those affairs, I'll bet are more likely to turn into a relationship because co-workers know each other more than 2 people meeting in a club one night; but there is something about the strip club environment that makes it okay to act on a lustful thought.
Sorry, I have seen how a normally devoted husband can step into the fantasy world and forget who he really is and give in to what is offered.
As I have said before, some dancers (men and women, both) will do it for money), most do not. They do it because they want to get with that man (or woman).
Don't be fooled by that "I don't pay for it", because they probably didn't. They are betting that you are someone who mistakenly believe stripper means prosititute.
Most of you probably have good men and this doesn't apply. I just don't want to see a post on the board a year later about "how could he do this to me" because you are going about things with blinders on, secure in the thought of "not my man".
Yes, your man can do it. My man can do it (and I don't forget that for a minute, I am not that naive). Her man can do it. ANYONE can do it- not everyone will, but humans are flawed, we have feelings and emotions and things like that cloud our decision making capabilities and sometimes a strong attraction can make some do something they would have never EVER considered doing. They know it's wrong, but can't reisist.
*sigh* Sorry so long. I've held a lot of friends while they cried over this. I have done it myself (no one from the clubs, though, which is weird). I have read posts on THIS board about ladies who's men have done it and posts from ladies who have done it as well.
Great post. If you don't mind me asking, how long did you dance? I have friends who do it and I was almost led into the lifestyle myself during a really bad period...
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
BTW breezy you always come up with good threads.
mermaid said:Well, all I can do is offer food for thought and some insight nto that world.
I have always said that just because someone is a stripper doesn't mean they are out for your man (but they are after his money.
Don't doubt that.
They will take and encourage him to his that atm, use the CC whatever, that's how they get paid);
HOWEVER there are women in the clubs who can see more than money in YOUR man (yes, YOURS) than a few bucks and she will turn on a different kind of charm.
The kind that maybe comes at the right time in his life that makes him pay attention to her and the next thing anyone knows, they are sweating and making animal noises in the backseat of a car or in a hotel.
I have seen men come in with pure (you know what I mean, lol) intentions, just coming in with the guys, not even his idea, probably protested but was outvoted and some girl happens to be there and doesn't come on with the aggressive approach (contrary to popular opinion, the aggressive approach is not the one that gets his pants off), she approaches him softly, friendly, flirty but not obvious- maybe she reminds him of a younger, pre-baby YOU, who knows, but something clicks and she's got him.
Then the dude feels horrible because he realizes what he's done. Can't believe it. Starts to act weird at home, not bad, but different because he's consummed with guilt.
Or, there's the guys that travel for business, don't know anyone in town, so they go to a strip club because it's social but no one looks at you wierd because you are by yourself. He comes in with his wedding ring on the corrrect finger, couple hours later it's on theopposite hand. Or in his pocket.
I've been sitting with guys whose cell phone rang and they sa it was their wife, they get up, go outside and tell the wife they are at a little dive bar watching a game, or hanging out to kill time or whatever. I have even been sitting next to one while he answered the phone in the club and said he and his buddy were at some bar (you know what was VERY weird about that one- that guy was an attorney and GUESS who was the Judge Pro Tem at one of my court appearances for my driver's license?? Yep. He kept staring at me and I was couldn't figure out what was the problem and why is he staring at me and it hit me- 'This dude saw me nekkid!! He know where I am pierced and tattooed!!" And I knew my case would be dropped. And it was, lol!!!)
You know that wife doesn't doubt him for a minute.
I will stand by my stance and say that it's not the stripper (job) it's the person doing the job and the customer (job, I guess) it's the guy playing the role of the customer that will actually cheat, but the whole envirnment of the strip club and the open sexuality and sensuality and they way the dancers act towards the men make cheating seem not so bad, just a little indescretion, no one will know, right?
Yes, it can happen anywhere. Absolutely. It is easier to carry on an affair at work than in a strip club (no sudden draws from the account, no super late nights). And those affairs, I'll bet are more likely to turn into a relationship because co-workers know each other more than 2 people meeting in a club one night; but there is something about the strip club environment that makes it okay to act on a lustful thought.
Sorry, I have seen how a normally devoted husband can step into the fantasy world and forget who he really is and give in to what is offered.
As I have said before, some dancers (men and women, both) will do it for money), most do not. They do it because they want to get with that man (or woman).
Don't be fooled by that "I don't pay for it", because they probably didn't. They are betting that you are someone who mistakenly believe stripper means prosititute.
Most of you probably have good men and this doesn't apply. I just don't want to see a post on the board a year later about "how could he do this to me" because you are going about things with blinders on, secure in the thought of "not my man".
Yes, your man can do it. My man can do it (and I don't forget that for a minute, I am not that naive). Her man can do it. ANYONE can do it- not everyone will, but humans are flawed, we have feelings and emotions and things like that cloud our decision making capabilities and sometimes a strong attraction can make some do something they would have never EVER considered doing. They know it's wrong, but can't reisist.
*sigh* Sorry so long. I've held a lot of friends while they cried over this. I have done it myself (no one from the clubs, though, which is weird). I have read posts on THIS board about ladies who's men have done it and posts from ladies who have done it as well.
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
This makes a lot of sense. I think that's what I meant about the environment aspect.
pretty_nappy_hair
New Member
locabouthair said:
That's true because my EX used to have every excuse. She's ugly, she's fat, she's this and that, but this and that didn't stop him
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