Your man in the strip club...

[breezy]

HAHAHAHAH
I KNEW IT!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!

I hear wedding bells! Can Q be the Ring Bearer?

 

[Summer_Rain]

Shoot Can you blame them? Your quite attractive no homo

And almost every guy that I know personally have admitted to going to strip clubs, and all of them said that they would never have "pay for pu$$y". Some just go to watch and dont drop a dime. I know I didn't

lol!! thanks girl!

 

[BlkManWithSomeSense]

I know you're a man & all...thus by default, you should be the resident expert on how a man acts - but I couldn't disagree with you more.

IMH(but womanly)O - a man likes the chase...the hunt. A stripper willing to do anything for a few dollars is the equivalent of...well, we know what she's the equivalent of. Where's the hunt in paying for sex? but a woman who provides that chase, and has the phyiscal, emotional and mental attraction to boot is even more of a threat then homegirl swinging around a pole in 7 inch clear heels.

I know more men who cheated with co-workers, friends, women they met randomly - then those who cheated with strippers.

I can understand & accept the argument that the strip club environment as a whole just may not be healthy for a relationship (although it doesnt bother me personally) but I believe the tempation/cheating factor is a bit of a stretch & overstatement, primarily in the fact that prohibiting your partner from going to a strippin club shouldn't make you "rest easy" on whether or not he's being faithful.

If your man would cheat with a stripper - he'd cheat with his coworker, his so called "best friend", the neighbor, baby sitter, chick at McDonalds, etc...

I can't even begin to tell you the number of married men that hit on me DAILY and consistently AT WORK in a corporate environment. And they ain't the type of men that frequent strip clubs either

Jeez what was that first part about, nothing wrong with just disagreeing and talking about something.. all that 'resident male' stuff isnt necessary. I'm not going to do the same.

There is a difference between temptation at the workplace and the strip joint. At the workplace, the MAIN reason to be there is to work. If a horde of women happen to like that man, they must act 'discretely' in getting his attention. They can flirt, tease, play but they will most likely NOT be naked, dancing,and bending over at a moment's notice. At the strip joint the MAIN reason to be there is to be serviced and bending over is encouraged if not preffered Plus, nobody cares where ya work, only the money you're spending.

I'm sorry but trying to convince me that going to a strip club is as harmless as pawning your stuff at a pawnshop is a daunting task indeed. The temptation factor plays a part but it's not the thrust of my argument. If the man is in a commited relationship, his loyalty is to his lady and if she allows him to go to a place that freely lets women rub, touch, dance and entertain in a way that only she should be doing then I'm considerably out of touch on this topic. It just sounds 'defeated ' when someone says ' cant stop a man from doing whats in his heart anyway'. A woman has considerable influence in her man's actions.

 

[Summer_Rain]

Jeez what was that first part about, nothing wrong with just disagreeing and talking about something.. all that 'resident male' stuff isnt necessary. I'm not going to do the same.

There is a difference between temptation at the workplace and the strip joint. At the workplace, the MAIN reason to be there is to work. If a horde of women happen to like that man, they must act 'discretely' in getting his attention. They can flirt, tease, play but they will most likely NOT be naked, dancing,and bending over at a moment's notice. At the strip joint the MAIN reason to be there is to be serviced and bending over is encouraged if not preffered Plus, nobody cares where ya work, only the money you're spending.

I'm sorry but trying to convince me that going to a strip club is as harmless as pawning your stuff at a pawnshop is a daunting task indeed. The temptation factor plays a part but it's not the thrust of my argument. If the man is in a commited relationship, his loyalty is to his lady and if she allows him to go to a place that freely lets women rub, touch, dance and entertain in a way that only she should be doing then I'm considerably out of touch on this topic. It just sounds 'defeated ' when someone says ' cant stop a man from doing whats in his heart anyway'. A woman has considerable influence in her man's actions.

Mmkay...why are you being so sensitive? The comment was stated to mean nothing more then the fact that you are the only man on the board, which by default, would or at least should make you the "resident expert" on the male perspective. So whatever salt & sarcasm you thought was there - wasn't....not even by a long shot.

Moving on, I'm not trying to insinuate that strip clubs are "innocent", as I stated earlier - I can accept & understand the stance that the environment overall may not be healthy for every relationship.

I do believe it's a bit naieve(sp) to say that the main reason people are at work is to "WORK". Thats obvious and should go without saying - but a 9-5 never stops the fratanization and every corporation has written expressed rules and regulations in place that speak to dating and things of that nature.

My comments now, and in my previous post are not to "promote" the strip clubs - but to bring in the reality that if a man is going to cheat - he's going to do it...period.

I do agree that a woman can influence her mans behavior, both negatively and positively - but influence is a far cry from control. There are enough women who can atest to the fact that no matter how "good" they were to their man - he still strayed.

 

[Laginappe]

I really thought I'd seen denial but this thread opens my eyes to new levels. Wow.

 

[breezy]

I really thought I'd seen denial but this thread opens my eyes to new levels. Wow.

How so Lag?

 

[KookieMunstah]

I'm backwards then

If a man would have come to me talkin bout a scripper at 21 it would have been WW3! I was also insecure, close minded, hyper-sensitive and made everything somebody else did about me.

I've been through the drama and now I just don't have time. I'm much more laid back and if I dont like something I'm out, with a quickness. No argument or discussions. I also don't sweat the small insignificant stuff and I pick my battles. Things that use to bother me don't even raise an eyebrow now.

Bottom line I guess is I'm just too old, tired and jaded to care

Can I co-sign all-dat!!!

 

[MissJ]

Lets not romanticize the situation. A nude woman is dancing seductively in front of YOUR man. After her dance on stage, she walks over to YOUR man, smiles and then bends over, sits down on YOUR man's lap and rubs herself on YOUR man and lets YOUR man touch her unmentionables. Then YOUR man takes YOUR money and puts it down HER G string. Then the man YOU love with all of YOUR heart leaves the club, comes home to YOU, tells YOU he loves YOU and then wants to make love to YOU.
Hellllllllllllllllllll Nawwwwwwww

This man does have some sense!

 

[s_terry]

Man, I can see why men say women just don't want to hear the truth! Now here we have a man that is giving you a peek in to the male psyche and an ex former stripper that won't even let her own man go to this joint and you STILL have women saying "NAAAWWW"LLLLL NOT MY MAN!!" Jeez. Are we arguing for the sake of arguing? Then we have to create all this "scenario's". Ok, cmon lusting after a woman at work is not the same as seeing a butt boodie ass nekkid woman that just might be had for the right price. I would venture to guess that the men would pick the stripper over the secretary. Why? No strings! No messiness, get your swerve on and walk the hell away! Am I the only one seeing this? Save your breath ya'll (mermaid BMWSS), but I heard you. Thanks for sharing.

Just one mo, non relevant humble opinion!!

 

[breezy]

Man, I can see why men say women just don't want to hear the truth! Now here we have a man that is giving you a peek in to the male psyche and an ex former stripper that won't even let her own man go to this joint and you STILL have women saying "NAAAWWW"LLLLL NOT MY MAN!!" Jeez. Are we arguing for the sake of arguing? Then we have to create all this "scenario's". Ok, cmon lusting after a woman at work is not the same as seeing a butt boodie ass nekkid woman that just might be had for the right price. I would venture to guess that the men would pick the stripper over the secretary. Why? No strings! No messiness, get your swerve on and walk the hell away! Am I the only one seeing this? Save your breath ya'll (mermaid BMWSS), but I heard you. Thanks for sharing.

Just one mo, non relevant humble opinion!!

I don't think it has anything to do w/ not wanting to hear the truth. I just think that all of our beliefs are shaped by our experiences. Personally, I've considered everything everyone in this thread has said, b/c I like learning from people. Yes, BMWSS is giving us a peek into the male mind, but he's giving us a look at one man, and to gain perspective you'd have to talk to all men, or at the very least your man. To me, it all depends on the situation and the people. I've never doubted what Mermaid or BMWSS or anyone else for that matter has said, I'm sure that that is very true for some, or even a lot of men.

I don't think anyone is arguing just to argue, but simply responding to one person's opinion w/ their own interpretation of the subject.

 

[Ayeshia]

I don't think it has anything to do w/ not wanting to hear the truth. I just think that all of our beliefs are shaped by our experiences. Personally, I've considered everything everyone in this thread has said, b/c I like learning from people. Yes, BMWSS is giving us a peek into the male mind, but he's giving us a look at one man, and to gain perspective you'd have to talk to all men, or at the very least your man. To me, it all depends on the situation and the people. I've never doubted what Mermaid or BMWSS or anyone else for that matter has said, I'm sure that that is very true for some, or even a lot of men.

I don't think anyone is arguing just to argue, but simply responding to one person's opinion w/ their own interpretation of the subject.

Exactly just because he is one of the few men on this board does not mean he speaks for all men (and of course everyone knows that). I like to have some male insight but he is not the end all be all of what the situation is or what should be.

I do whut I do...

 

[Summer_Rain]

Man, I can see why men say women just don't want to hear the truth! Now here we have a man that is giving you a peek in to the male psyche and an ex former stripper that won't even let her own man go to this joint and you STILL have women saying "NAAAWWW"LLLLL NOT MY MAN!!" Jeez. Are we arguing for the sake of arguing? Then we have to create all this "scenario's". Ok, cmon lusting after a woman at work is not the same as seeing a butt boodie ass nekkid woman that just might be had for the right price. I would venture to guess that the men would pick the stripper over the secretary. Why? No strings! No messiness, get your swerve on and walk the hell away! Am I the only one seeing this? Save your breath ya'll (mermaid BMWSS), but I heard you. Thanks for sharing.

Just one mo, non relevant humble opinion!!

I don't think anyone is saying "not my man". But like Breezy said, everyone is shaped by their own experiences. You could talk to 10 other men who would just as passionately state that going to a strip club has no weight or bearing in whether they'd cheat. In fact, I've already posed the same question to another message board thats 95% men and they share totally different views then BMWS.

No one is saying that he's 'wrong'...but at the same time, its unfair to run around calling the rest of us 'wrong' for our views

 

[Mestiza]

Some of you know that my guy is a former stripper, but he's not interested in going to strip clubs. He said that the woman that he would want to dance for him is me.

I'm on the go, but I'll be back to read through this thread.

 

[Laginappe]

Am I the only one seeing this? Save your breath ya'll (mermaid BMWSS), but I heard you. Thanks for sharing.

Nope you're not the only one. But we're just one or two, so irrelevant. Adding my thanks along with yours.

 

[breezy]

Nope you're not the only one. But we're just one or two, so irrelevant. Adding my thanks along with yours.

I actually thought that the majority of people felt the way you two did. Not on this forum, I mean irl.

 

[glamazon386]

Personally, I don't like it. But one of my friends explaining it to me as some cockamammy Community Titties thing. He said it's nothing more than that. All I could do was the whole time he was explaining the idea of Community Titties to me. I was like what the hell?!?! I wouldn't mind my SO going every once in a while with his friends as long as only looked and didn't touch and he came home to me...

 

[breezy]

Personally, I don't like it. But one of my friends explaining it to me as some cockamammy Community Titties thing. He said it's nothing more than that. All I could do was the whole time he was explaining the idea of Community Titties to me. I wouldn't mind my SO going every once in a while with his friends as long as only looked and didn't touch and he came home to me...

Community Titties? Say what?

 

[glamazon386]

Community Titties? Say what?

Girl he was like well sometimes you just wanna look at some titties. And sometimes you wanna be with your boys. And I was like well if you have a woman can't you just look at hers? He was like yeah, but you don't want your friends to look at your girl's titties. They can't do that. So you can go to the strip club and see titties and be with your boys at the same time. Because those titties don't belong to really anybody you know. They're safe to look at. They're Community Titties. I was like OMG

 

[breezy]

Girl he was like well sometimes you just wanna look at some titties. And sometimes you wanna be with your boys. And I was like well if you have a woman can't you just look at hers? He was like yeah, but you don't want your friends to look at your girl's titties. They can't do that. So you can go to the strip club and see titties and be with your boys at the same time. Because those titties don't belong to really anybody you know. They're safe to look at. They're Community Titties. I was like OMG

Wow...that's some...interesting logic!

 

[Shimmie]

Wrong!! This is what I was talking about. Stuff happens. Why set the wheel in motion by tempting him with the naked flesh of other women? I say keep the man home.

If he needs to see a show, you give him one!

Pebs, you call me? You rannnggggg, If any wives need classes..........

I teach Hula, Polynesian and Belly Dance... I have enough shimmies to put those 'women' out of business.

And for the record: It's all clean and tasteful. I don't 'hooch'...

ETA: My future plans are to have a woman's 'ministry' "For Wives Only". Did you know that wives and brides to be are actually going to strippers for 'lessons' to bring excitement into their marriages?

This is horrid. Especially since most of these women are in church. I cannot get over this.

There's a 'clean' way of doing this. Women don't need to go that far. Most of what a woman needs is already there within her. She doesn't need to go to a stripper. Somethings need to be taught with refinement and class, especially when it's a lady.

 

[glamazon386]

Wow...that's some...interesting logic!

He's just a retard. And that's why he doesn't have a woman now. I had to kick his punk ass to the curb. He was on my nerves too much.

 

[Shimmie]

Girl he was like well sometimes you just wanna look at some titties. And sometimes you wanna be with your boys. And I was like well if you have a woman can't you just look at hers? He was like yeah, but you don't want your friends to look at your girl's titties. They can't do that. So you can go to the strip club and see titties and be with your boys at the same time. Because those titties don't belong to really anybody you know. They're safe to look at. They're Community Titties. I was like OMG

Why would he use that horrible word? It's so impersonal. So...crude.

 

[glamazon386]

Why would he use that horrible word? It's so impersonal. So...crude.

IDK, I find that most people my age refer to them as that. Personally, I don't. I say boobs. It sounds a little better to me. The word breasts always weirded me out as a kid.

 

[creolebeauty]

Man, I can see why men say women just don't want to hear the truth! Now here we have a man that is giving you a peek in to the male psyche and an ex former stripper that won't even let her own man go to this joint and you STILL have women saying "NAAAWWW"LLLLL NOT MY MAN!!" Jeez. Are we arguing for the sake of arguing? Then we have to create all this "scenario's". Ok, cmon lusting after a woman at work is not the same as seeing a butt boodie ass nekkid woman that just might be had for the right price. I would venture to guess that the men would pick the stripper over the secretary. Why? No strings! No messiness, get your swerve on and walk the hell away! Am I the only one seeing this? Save your breath ya'll (mermaid BMWSS), but I heard you. Thanks for sharing.

Just one mo, non relevant humble opinion!!

Girl I'm so happy you said this. I appreciate a man who keeps it real. Most only say what they think women want to hear. Having 7 brothers I know real from fake, and Blackman is keeping it real.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

This ish is craaazy! BlackMan is only 1 man out of THOUSANDS. I would be so careful to take what he says (no offense BlackMan just tryna make a point dude ) in account for every last man on this planet. How the heck yall gonna say that every man thinks this way because ONE man said so.

No offense again, but Blkman joined an all female hair board (I know a mod urged him in all, but follow me before you stone) and plenty of males, including my man, I know wouldn't. I am using this as an example that we should take into account that what another man wouldn't do and do are different. We don't know his background and or experiences, so how are we gonna agree that what he thinks is universal to all men.

Now all the sudden since he takes your particular stance, everyone else is hiding from the truth?... Please! The truth is objective to every damn body!

 

[moda]

I personally don't think a man going to a strip club will increase the odds that he will cheat. If a man has a desire to cheat, he will point blank regardless of who he chooses to do so with. IMO if there are problems in a marriage then the likelihood of a man cheating increases much more than a happily married man getting a lap dance from a stripper.

I just witnessed a few weeks ago a man I know cheating on his wife with another married woman in the parking lot of a nightclub. So I think most men's logic is why pay for something so many women offer for free

 

[creolebeauty]

This ish is craaazy! BlackMan is only 1 man out of THOUSANDS. I would be so careful to take what he says (no offense BlackMan just tryna make a point dude ) in account for every last man on this planet. How the heck yall gonna say that every man thinks this way because ONE man said so.

No offense again, but Blkman joined an all female hair board (I know a mod urged him in all, but follow me before you stone) and plenty of males, including my man, I know wouldn't. I am using this as an example that we should take into account that what another man wouldn't do and do are different. We don't know his background and or experiences, so how are we gonna agree that what he thinks is universal to all men.

Now all the sudden since he takes your particular stance, everyone else is hiding from the truth?... Please! The truth is objective to every damn body!

I do understand what you are saying. But I have a lot of men in my family and they say the same exact thing that Blackman says. I know they love me and they are only going to give me info that helps me.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I do understand what you are saying. But I have a lot of men im my family and they say the same exact thing that Blackman says. I know they love me and they are only going to give me info that helps me.

Key words, men YOU know in YOUR family.

My whole point is that what BlkMan said is not the written word for everyone. Therefore everyone who feels like I do, isn't "hiding from the truth."

This 'my way of thinking or you're stupid' think is very ignorant and not to mention very cocky. It makes me think that people are very narrow minded and uneducated to the fact that everyone will hold their own beliefs and values and yours might not nec. be right.

 

[glamazon386]

I personally don't think a man going to a strip club will increase the odds that he will cheat. If a man has a desire to cheat, he will point blank regardless of who he chooses to do so with. IMO if there are problems in a marriage then the likelihood of a man cheating increases much more than a happily married man getting a lap dance from a stripper.

I just witnessed a few weeks ago a man I know cheating on his wife with another married woman in the parking lot of a nightclub. So I think most men's logic is why pay for something so many women offer for free

I totally agree with this...

 

[Southernbella.]

I personally don't think a man going to a strip club will increase the odds that he will cheat. If a man has a desire to cheat, he will point blank regardless of who he chooses to do so with. IMO if there are problems in a marriage then the likelihood of a man cheating increases much more than a happily married man getting a lap dance from a stripper.

I agree with this. For me, the issue is not that I think my dh would cheat on me at a strip club. My issue is the environment. The bottom line is, neither of us has any reason to be in a strip club. Watching naked strangers dance would add nothing to our marriage, IMO. Neither of us has friends who go to strip clubs either. It's just never been on our radar.