Your man in the strip club...

[MzLady78]

I don't care. It's just not that big of a deal to me I guess, I have gone with dh before.

Have you seen any real strippers, not the ones that are on TV but the real deal, it ain't pretty I am not threatened by them at all

Girl, we are so on the same page!

Not threatened in the least.

 

[MissScarlett]

Girl, we are so on the same page!

Not threatened in the least.

Theirs bodies are whack and they're pretty much the same across the board....stretch mark city, pimple booties, saggy tities and then the girls like that are the ones that have perfected the bootie clap, nasty bootie and all

 

[winterinatl]

Sorry, but they ain't all looking like that!

MANY of those chicks are HOT TO DEATH.
Period.

And I stand by my original post.
My man need not go. It is disrespectful to me.

 

[Southernbella.]

I couldn't care less how ugly or fine the women are. For me, it's not about feeling threatened. It's about the sacredness of sex and the naked human body. I don't need to see anyone else naked and neither does he. I know everyone doesn't see it that way, and that's fine, but please know that not everyone who objects is jealous or insecure.

 

[Maynard]

Sorry, but they ain't all looking like that!

MANY of those chicks are HOT TO DEATH.
Period.

And I stand by my original post.
My man need not go. It is disrespectful to me.

Correct!...You aint been to Atlanta boo....

 

[camellia]

There are some really hot dancers at the Crazy Horse in Chicago.

But I've seen the other kind too.

 

[avanese]

I don't consider it a form of cheating....but I don't think that someone who is in a relationship/married should be doing that period...I would never condone my man going to look at other women in that way when I'm right here.....it's disrespecteful to me WHEN you're in a relationship.

 

[carcajada]

I couldn't care less how ugly or fine the women are. For me, it's not about feeling threatened. It's about the sacredness of sex and the naked human body. I don't need to see anyone else naked and neither does he. I know everyone doesn't see it that way, and that's fine, but please know that not everyone who objects is jealous or insecure.

ITA. Reading my praying wife book, it was said that porn and any images of the flesh outside of the marriage is not okay. It is like a spot for the devil to plant a seed in the marriage/relationship. I forgot what scripture they quoted. Common sense or religious wise, it makes sense both ways to me.

 

[candiel]

I, too, find it very disrespectful and I can't be with a man who feels the need to be in those places.

 

[JFemme]

I, too, find it very disrespectful and I can't be with a man who feels the need to be in those places.

Yep, what she said .....

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I couldn't care less how ugly or fine the women are. For me, it's not about feeling threatened. It's about the sacredness of sex and the naked human body. I don't need to see anyone else naked and neither does he. I know everyone doesn't see it that way, and that's fine, but please know that not everyone who objects is jealous or insecure.

Agreed.

I, too, find it very disrespectful and I can't be with a man who feels the need to be in those places.

 

[Farida]

I'm sorry. IMO, a married man has NO business in a strip club.

I believe that ANYONE given the right circumstance would cheat/do something inappropriate. Smart people choose not to put themselves in that circumstance. My mentor once gave me this example:

It was his daughter's bday and his son had been eyeing the birthday cake all afternoon. The dad took the little boy and told him that at no circumstance was he to eat it. The little boy respects his dad and decided not to. But what did he do, he sat right in front of the cake looking at it thinking "I'm not going to eat it, I'm not going to eat it..." all this time smelling the sweet icing, looking at the lovely colors and sprinkles, fantasizing imagining...next thing he knows the boy sticks his finger in the cake and licks it. His dad admonished him and he walked away to do something else and waited till the cake was cut. Wouldn't it just have been easier to go go away in the first place?


Now, men aren't animals. But face it, our basal desires are somewhat animal. We just have the mind to quell them. If you ask most men they will honestly tell you if they were locked in a room with a tempting, naked,seductress woman they would do her, it doesn't matter how much they love their wife or how happy they are.

I for one refuse to believe a man watches all these women get down and dirty and then comes home to make love to me thinking only of me.

yes, men look around and they find other women attractive, but I hardly put that in the same page as going to a strip club.
I refuse to have a relationship where it is okay to say you can do whatever you want as long as your penis goes inside me at the end of the day.

Plus women make the mistake of judgin men based on how we think. Women don't take looking at a naked man the same way men take looking at a naked woman.

I know a married man who doesn't watch TV because he says there is too much unnecessary flesh. That may not be for everyone, but is it really a laughable decision as it is being made here?

 

[STLCoverGirl]

I'm sorry. IMO, a married man has NO business in a strip club.

I believe that ANYONE given the right circumstance would cheat/do something inappropriate. Smart people choose not to put themselves in that circumstance. My mentor once gave me this example:

It was his daughter's bday and his son had been eyeing the birthday cake all afternoon. The dad took the little boy and told him that at no circumstance was he to eat it. The little boy respects his dad and decided not to. But what did he do, he sat right in front of the cake looking at it thinking "I'm not going to eat it, I'm not going to eat it..." all this time smelling the sweet icing, looking at the lovely colors and sprinkles, fantasizing imagining...next thing he knows the boy sticks his finger in the cake and licks it. His dad admonished him and he walked away to do something else and waited till the cake was cut. Wouldn't it just have been easier to go go away in the first place?


Now, men aren't animals. But face it, our basal desires are somewhat animal. We just have the mind to quell them. If you ask most men they will honestly tell you if they were locked in a room with a tempting, naked,seductress woman they would do her, it doesn't matter how much they love their wife or how happy they are.

I for one refuse to believe a man watches all these women get down and dirty and then comes home to make love to me thinking only of me.

yes, men look around and they find other women attractive, but I hardly put that in the same page as going to a strip club.
I refuse to have a relationship where it is okay to say you can do whatever you want as long as your penis goes inside me at the end of the day.

Plus women make the mistake of judgin men based on how we think. Women don't take looking at a naked man the same way men take looking at a naked woman.

I know a married man who doesn't watch TV because he says there is too much unnecessary flesh. That may not be for everyone, but is it really a laughable decision as it is being made here?

I agree with this, however I have never been with a man were the issue of going to a strip club even came up. It just seems wrong to me, on such a basic level. It opens up all kinds of unnecessary issues, if he needs someone to get him aroused or whatever that is what I'm for...just say the word!

 

[sunshine91496]

I think all of you are missing the point is that MEN go to strip clubs whether they admit it to you or not. It's just one of the things they do, just like we may buy $1,000.00 shoes on the sly. If a guy knows his wife is not into it he will just go without telling her. I'm not saying this because I am cynical, but because I've seen it with my own eyes, and know of male friends who do this. One guy in partiuclar is a professional very into his wife, but when his buddies want to go out on occasion they go to the strip club. He told me, he knows it would hurt her feelings so he doesn't mention it ( she flipped out on him when he got his SI Swimsuit edition - he was a subscriber at the time). Plus unless the guy is an addict or a sex fiend its only going to be a once in a while kind of thing. Which is better than guys who have "guy's night out" every single week at a bar, or lounge where the same stuff happens. Or if the guy is all sweet and loyal to your face, but has another chick on the side.

If he's a good guy and just wants to look no harm in that. Another thing, just because he doesn't go to a strip club doesn't mean he doesn't go to other places like Hooters, etc. For example there is one club in NY where its not a strip club per se, but the cocktail waitress are pretty much wearing nothing,(i.e. straps etc. all in the right places, etc.) they change their outfits, etc. but definitely scantilly clad.

Now I understand that some of you may find stripping offensive, which is fine, but trying to forbid someone from doing something doesn't work either, regardless of marriage, regardless of age. And I do think its true, that if you trust your man enough to go out on occasion, you will be more surprised by the fact that he will just end up staying home. What I mean is a lot of guys are just happy that you would even feel ok with them going whether they go or not. When things get difficult, is when they feel like a woman is attempting to command them to do something. ( well that's another thread altogether).

 

[Southernbella.]

I think all of you are missing the point is that MEN go to strip clubs whether they admit it to you or not. It's just one of the things they do, just like we may buy $1,000.00 shoes on the sly. If a guy knows his wife is not into it he will just go without telling her. I'm not saying this because I am cynical, but because I've seen it with my own eyes, and know of male friends who do this. One guy in partiuclar is a professional very into his wife, but when his buddies want to go out on occasion they go to the strip club. He told me, he knows it would hurt her feelings so he doesn't mention it ( she flipped out on him when he got his SI Swimsuit edition - he was a subscriber at the time). Plus unless the guy is an addict or a sex fiend its only going to be a once in a while kind of thing. Which is better than guys who have "guy's night out" every single week at a bar, or lounge where the same stuff happens. Or if the guy is all sweet and loyal to your face, but has another chick on the side.

If he's a good guy and just wants to look no harm in that. Another thing, just because he doesn't go to a strip club doesn't mean he doesn't go to other places like Hooters, etc. For example there is one club in NY where its not a strip club per se, but the cocktail waitress are pretty much wearing nothing,(i.e. straps etc. all in the right places, etc.) they change their outfits, etc. but definitely scantilly clad.

Now I understand that some of you may find stripping offensive, which is fine, but trying to forbid someone from doing something doesn't work either, regardless of marriage, regardless of age. And I do think its true, that if you trust your man enough to go out on occasion, you will be more surprised by the fact that he will just end up staying home. What I mean is a lot of guys are just happy that you would even feel ok with them going whether they go or not. When things get difficult, is when they feel like a woman is attempting to command them to do something. ( well that's another thread altogether).

Yeah, you lost me here. I don't have the kind of marriage where I buy things and hide them from my dh. Do women really do that?erplexed

 

[MissScarlett]

Yeah, you lost me here. I don't have the kind of marriage where I buy things and hide them from my dh. Do women really do that?erplexed

Yeah I do. Its not a secret but its just a game i do. I leave my purchases in my vehicle and ease them into the house I will think dh doesn't notice but he'll say 'oh wow nice new shoes" or "oh is that a new bag"

Its just something silly. I wouldn't call it hiding though. But I know many women who do that.

 

[Southernbella.]

Yeah I do. Its not a secret but its just a game i do. I leave my purchases in my vehicle and ease them into the house I will think dh doesn't notice but he'll say 'oh wow nice new shoes" or "oh is that a new bag"

Its just something silly. I wouldn't call it hiding though. But I know many women who do that.

Yeah, but your dh obviously doesn't mind you making the purchases. I can't imagine a woman spending major money she knows her dh wouldn't approve of, then hiding it.

 

[alexstin]

I think all of you are missing the point is that MEN go to strip clubs whether they admit it to you or not. It's just one of the things they do, just like we may buy $1,000.00 shoes on the sly. If a guy knows his wife is not into it he will just go without telling her. I'm not saying this because I am cynical, but because I've seen it with my own eyes, and know of male friends who do this. One guy in partiuclar is a professional very into his wife, but when his buddies want to go out on occasion they go to the strip club. He told me, he knows it would hurt her feelings so he doesn't mention it ( she flipped out on him when he got his SI Swimsuit edition - he was a subscriber at the time). Plus unless the guy is an addict or a sex fiend its only going to be a once in a while kind of thing. Which is better than guys who have "guy's night out" every single week at a bar, or lounge where the same stuff happens. Or if the guy is all sweet and loyal to your face, but has another chick on the side.

If he's a good guy and just wants to look no harm in that. Another thing, just because he doesn't go to a strip club doesn't mean he doesn't go to other places like Hooters, etc. For example there is one club in NY where its not a strip club per se, but the cocktail waitress are pretty much wearing nothing,(i.e. straps etc. all in the right places, etc.) they change their outfits, etc. but definitely scantilly clad.

Now I understand that some of you may find stripping offensive, which is fine, but trying to forbid someone from doing something doesn't work either, regardless of marriage, regardless of age. And I do think its true, that if you trust your man enough to go out on occasion, you will be more surprised by the fact that he will just end up staying home. What I mean is a lot of guys are just happy that you would even feel ok with them going whether they go or not. When things get difficult, is when they feel like a woman is attempting to command them to do something. ( well that's another thread altogether).

Some do, some don't. Is that hard to believe? Every man ain't the same.

 

[MomofThreeBoys]

Some do, some don't. Is that hard to believe? Every man ain't the same.

Thank you. Every man is NOT the same!

 

[MissScarlett]

Yeah, but your dh obviously doesn't mind you making the purchases. I can't imagine a woman spending major money she knows her dh wouldn't approve of, then hiding it.

True, spending major money would be highly inappropriate. I'm talking about sneaking some shoes or hand bags every now and then

 

[sky_blu]

Im late on the thread but Im ok with it if its occassionally. Hell, Id go with him. I think as long as your secure with yourself and your relationship it shouldnt be a problem. But if he spending your rent money on a stripper and the lights off because of it thats when it becomes a problem.

 

[SouthernTease]

I don't care, unless he's sketchy about it...
like going on the regular...
or GOD forbid IN THE DAYTIME!!!
that's whack!!!

 

[lana]

ITA. Reading my praying wife book, it was said that porn and any images of the flesh outside of the marriage is not okay. It is like a spot for the devil to plant a seed in the marriage/relationship. I forgot what scripture they quoted. Common sense or religious wise, it makes sense both ways to me.

This is probably the scripture. Proverbs 5:18-20
18 Let your water source prove to be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth, 19 a lovable hind and a charming mountain goat. Let her own breasts intoxicate you at all times. With her love may you be in an ecstasy constantly. 20 So why should you, my son, be in an ecstasy with a strange woman or embrace the bosom of a foreign woman?

 

[Luvmylife]

My DH doesn't particularly care for strippers. I think he's pretty skeeved out by the whole " ...there are 50 men looking at this one woman at the same time..." aspect of it all. He's been 2 or 3 times in the last 10 years when other friends have had bachelor parties and such, but he always comes home early. Come to think of it he was back before midnight the night of his own bachelor party...guess he really ain't feelin' strippers

The times he went I also remember him complaining about the amount of money folks spend and how the women looked like "...bullethole/stab wound/cigarette burn chicks..."

The few times he went I wasn't too worried. If it were a regular or constant thing I think I would be a little more wary.

 

[erokawa]

I won't tolerate my SO going to strip clubs. It's not like I don't take care of myself or look good because I do, and if he feels the need to go then obviously he feels like something is lacking and should get out of the relationship. I find guys who don't understand commitment a waste of time. I feel the same about porn, and my SO and I already fell out plenty times about it. At least he stopped but I had to threaten to leave first. How sad is that? Sometimes I think I should've just left but that's a whole different story... =P

 

[Vinyl]

My boyfriend hates strip clubs, but if he did like them I'd want to go with him.

 

[cheeks87]

My bf slept with a stripper once so NO! Normally I would not give a crap but uh-uh

 

[MiamiHottie]

No, I wouldn't have a problem with it. From experience strippers, just want the money. They are not interested in any body's man. It comes down to being secure because if your man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. There are beautiful women everywhere. You might as well not let him go to the beach or the club, where some women are really trying to pick up someone.
OT: not all stripper have bullet holes and saggy breast. Its a broad spectrum from ghetto to upscale. I think most people's idea of a strip club is from the movie Player's club.

 

[Kawaii1]

No, I wouldn't have a problem with it. From experience strippers, just want the money. They are not interested in any body's man. It comes down to being secure because if your man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. There are beautiful women everywhere. You might as well not let him go to the beach or the club, where some women are really trying to pick up someone.
OT: not all stripper have bullet holes and saggy breast. Its a broad spectrum from ghetto to upscale. I think most people's idea of a strip club is from the movie Player's club.

right on! If he really wants to cheat he will do it and it probably won't be a stripper it will probably be some chick at work or his bf's girlfriend or your cousin. The thing I don't get is the amount of money some men spend. Why throw away all that money to be teased by some woman? Basically all it is is getting teased. They are better off going to a club and buying a girl some drinks atleast rhey have a chance with hooking up.

 

[winterinatl]

Thank you Breezy, I appreciate what you said because I'm a lil tired of hearing that about men. Some of us do exercise some discretion. I broaden my mind to not think stereotypically about women.

Personally I think it is a form of cheating. If you're in a committed relationship why on earth would a man be in a place of naked women? His heart, lusts, and sexual enjoyments all should be focused on hs lady. It is not harmless, it's demeaning and disgraceful. I'm not in agreeance to this idea that as long as a man is not having sexual intercourse then everything else is fair game. Whats the point of being in a committed relationship if you're not going to honor the most basic part?...Keyword COMMITMENT.

I enjoyed this post so much back then I decided to bump it for others to see... this is main thrust of why I don't like strip clubs. It isn't necessarily that I think my man will sleep with a stripper, but what blkmanwithsomesense said right here.