Either way, he saw something he liked and if he could...without getting caught....he would I pick the strip club,personally.
Wow this thread is funny indeed, I remember this. Ok so lemme see, he goes to BWW (B Dubs) for the game and picks up on a chick for free or he goes to the Pink PuuttyTat and comes home "cuz them chicks all want some money and I ain't finna spend for some _____"
I also gotta ask, no offense to anyone, for all those who said "No way Jose".....are you comfortable with your body? Is that one of the determinants for refusing it? I only ask b/c for me it seems as long as I am cool with me (body image) and he is with me(relationship), its not really competition.
Ok...I gotta mouthful
I've been to strip clubs. I was a shooters girl/cocktail waitress and I've worked at 3 strip clubs--it's NOT that big of a deal.
1. Ppl go for a variety of reasons. To look at women. To get lapdances. To conduct business. To stalk a stripper or waitress. To chill and play pool. To get sex. Whatever...
2. All women who strip don't 'look' like strippers. Common Misconception that all strippers are beautiful. Half the time the waitresses and bartenders are the only ones in the club who are on point!
3. All strip clubs aren't the same. With some--you know there's sexin and 'extras' being provided/ going on. There's drug use. Strippers/drugs and drug-dealers go together like rum and coke! Like PB&J.
There's alcohol. The men are younger so they tend to lose their minds. The VIP rooms are closed off and separate (sometimes). So you know there's sometning going on in there besides light touching.
In others...the rules are enforced. The bouncers are quick to beat down any man who messes with the females. The age limit is increased. No touching is allowed. No drugs allowed. The VIP rooms are open or installed with cameras. The men act decently , mostly because the young bucks aren't old enough to get in.
The dress code takes care of the old heads who act young-minded.
The girls are actually pretty...which means the club can be selective about who they let in. Everything is clean. There's a bathroom attendant and valets.
It's a true gentleman's club where men go to strip clubs not necessarily to strip--but to do normal things. Like...eat lunch.
Have a midday drink before going home.
Have brief meetings (with other males).
LOL It's funny stuff.
Although I never worked days. I worked primetime hour. Fri and Sat 9 to 3am.
4. I don't believe in this 'boys will be boys' mess. "Well he's a decent man but if a woman should strip down butt-naked in front of him he just may lose control of himself because he has been seduced by the vile temptress...so I gotta watch him"
Yeah ok--and prostitutes can't be raped.
Anyway I've gone to a female strip club.
If I can look at a naked man and not have an urge. Not have sexual contact. HE can look at a naked woman and not have an urge. Not have sexual contact with her.
Same difference.
I mean if you're worldy...it's not a big deal. Been there done that. When I do go it's because I'm dragged there by my friends and my man knows I'm not going to do anything. I just drink laugh and spectate. I don't let them dance on me. Or I should say I try not to let them dance on me. Some ppl are overly aggressive though.
Chasing tips...
But--Y'know one of my good friends had a girlfriend. Really good friend of mine.
He was FINEEEE. But you know what---he had a woman and I respected that.
HE thought I was fine too, child. But he respected his woman. We just hung and played video games and went out to eat.
Honestly.
But his woman was skeptical of our relationship.
Wanted us to stop hanging out. He was confused by her behavior--but I just backed off because thats his woman and I respect the relationship.
LOL Apparently he told her she was being insecure!
Men always say the wrong things. Lord a fight that must have been.
He was just confused and didn't understand where she was coming from.
But whyyyy did he tell her that? Of course she's insecure; her man is hanging out with another female! Plus--she'd been cheated on.
And as I told him, "...she does not know me... No--it doesn't matter if you introduced me to her. We don't hang out. She don't KNOW me. I could easily be one of those females who are trying to get at you...It doesn't matter what wouldn't bother me. It bothers her. And we are two diffeent types of females... We can still hang out at work...no biggie..."
The dept in which I worked had females throwing it at him. Literally...
He did not cheat on his girl. Not once--and lord knows he could have. He could have established a little harem. He was so sexy. But he stayed faithful.
I've had male friends with girlfriends who have told me of other females showin up at the their places naked trying to proposition them. Did they sleep with them? Some did; some didn't.
AND....I had a female friend who cheated on her boyfriend with like 5 dudes including a married man the entire time they were together.
I have a female friend who is married with children who has also been cheating for the past yr with an old boyfriend.
And what of that?
The point is: a**holes and cheaters come in both genders. Men ain't the only ones who can be triflin. Just because a man is a 'man' doesn't mean he can't control himself.
It doesn't necessarily mean he even has urges.
Just because a man is a 'man' doesn;t mean he's going to sleep with every female who throws it at him. Some men have standards.
I've seen dudes have to physically push overly amorous females off them (when they became to grabby with his pelvic regions).
I think it's bull that most women hold men to different standards. Men and society feed women these lies so that the woman will have ready access to an excuse for when he eventually cheats on her.
Now of course if a man is there every night--that's a problem. But sporadic strip club visits evry few moths with the guys---I have no issue with.
Some women have told me, 'oh you're being blind to the fact..."
Oh really...well to those women I usually say: This is not about being blind to the fact.
For starters--what 'fact'? The 'fact' of what....all men cheat? That men have no self-control?
Let's not begin projecting issues onto each other. Which is the more reasonable conclusion to come to here:
a. That all men are lying, cheating untrustworthy pigss
b. Or...just YOURS
--because you're making a lotta assumptions. And why are we just assuming the behavior of an individual based on their gender, what *we think* society dictates to him and how *we feel* he's going to respond to it?
Is your man that weakminded to be so led?
>>sigh<<
Sucks to be you...
Anywho--from my perspective and life experiences it's not about sex--it's about HIM. Even if he cheat...it still doesn't have a thing to do with me. It's all about him.
It's about the Character and INTEGRITY of the man. The level of love and respect he has for you.
It is on THAT foundation that trust is built.
If he couldn't be trusted--if there was no honesty within him.I wouldn't be with him. There is no gray area for me.
So...I'm not going to forbid anyone to go anywhere.
It's one thing to discuss the matter. I'ts one thingto have your man so he just doesn't like that sort of thing.
But some women will be all, "You're not gonna do this...you're not gonna do that...because I'm insecure..."
...and while you're watching perceived threats. you're oblivious to the more realistic threats going on right under your nose. A person can cheat at the grocery store. You can carry on an affair with the choir director at your church! With the next door neighbor. With your female relative.
So what..you gon forbid him from being around other women?
You're gonna watch him around your friends (i know females who do this, btw. It's sad.) too?
. Anyway. I don't care if he goes, half the ones in my area look like they have been stabbed or shot a few times. If he wants that then he can have it. Saves me from making a long term mistake with him.
Ok...I gotta mouthful
I've been to strip clubs. I was a shooters girl/cocktail waitress and I've worked at 3 strip clubs--it's NOT that big of a deal.
1. Ppl go for a variety of reasons. To look at women. To get lapdances. To conduct business. To stalk a stripper or waitress. To chill and play pool. To get sex. Whatever...
2. All women who strip don't 'look' like strippers. Common Misconception that all strippers are beautiful. Half the time the waitresses and bartenders are the only ones in the club who are on point!
3. All strip clubs aren't the same. With some--you know there's sexin and 'extras' being provided/ going on. There's drug use. Strippers/drugs and drug-dealers go together like rum and coke! Like PB&J.
There's alcohol. The men are younger so they tend to lose their minds. The VIP rooms are closed off and separate (sometimes). So you know there's sometning going on in there besides light touching.
In others...the rules are enforced. The bouncers are quick to beat down any man who messes with the females. The age limit is increased. No touching is allowed. No drugs allowed. The VIP rooms are open or installed with cameras. The men act decently , mostly because the young bucks aren't old enough to get in.
The dress code takes care of the old heads who act young-minded.
The girls are actually pretty...which means the club can be selective about who they let in. Everything is clean. There's a bathroom attendant and valets.
It's a true gentleman's club where men go to strip clubs not necessarily to strip--but to do normal things. Like...eat lunch.
Have a midday drink before going home.
Have brief meetings (with other males).
LOL It's funny stuff.
Although I never worked days. I worked primetime hour. Fri and Sat 9 to 3am.
4. I don't believe in this 'boys will be boys' mess. "Well he's a decent man but if a woman should strip down butt-naked in front of him he just may lose control of himself because he has been seduced by the vile temptress...so I gotta watch him"
Yeah ok--and prostitutes can't be raped.
Anyway I've gone to a female strip club.
If I can look at a naked man and not have an urge. Not have sexual contact. HE can look at a naked woman and not have an urge. Not have sexual contact with her.
Same difference.
I mean if you're worldy...it's not a big deal. Been there done that. When I do go it's because I'm dragged there by my friends and my man knows I'm not going to do anything. I just drink laugh and spectate. I don't let them dance on me. Or I should say I try not to let them dance on me. Some ppl are overly aggressive though.
Chasing tips...
But--Y'know one of my good friends had a girlfriend. Really good friend of mine.
He was FINEEEE. But you know what---he had a woman and I respected that.
HE thought I was fine too, child. But he respected his woman. We just hung and played video games and went out to eat.
Honestly.
But his woman was skeptical of our relationship.
Wanted us to stop hanging out. He was confused by her behavior--but I just backed off because thats his woman and I respect the relationship.
LOL Apparently he told her she was being insecure!
Men always say the wrong things. Lord a fight that must have been.
He was just confused and didn't understand where she was coming from.
But whyyyy did he tell her that? Of course she's insecure; her man is hanging out with another female! Plus--she'd been cheated on.
And as I told him, "...she does not know me... No--it doesn't matter if you introduced me to her. We don't hang out. She don't KNOW me. I could easily be one of those females who are trying to get at you...It doesn't matter what wouldn't bother me. It bothers her. And we are two diffeent types of females... We can still hang out at work...no biggie..."
The dept in which I worked had females throwing it at him. Literally...
He did not cheat on his girl. Not once--and lord knows he could have. He could have established a little harem. He was so sexy. But he stayed faithful.
I've had male friends with girlfriends who have told me of other females showin up at the their places naked trying to proposition them. Did they sleep with them? Some did; some didn't.
AND....I had a female friend who cheated on her boyfriend with like 5 dudes including a married man the entire time they were together.
I have a female friend who is married with children who has also been cheating for the past yr with an old boyfriend.
And what of that?
The point is: a**holes and cheaters come in both genders. Men ain't the only ones who can be triflin. Just because a man is a 'man' doesn't mean he can't control himself.
It doesn't necessarily mean he even has urges.
Just because a man is a 'man' doesn;t mean he's going to sleep with every female who throws it at him. Some men have standards.
I've seen dudes have to physically push overly amorous females off them (when they became to grabby with his pelvic regions).
I think it's bull that most women hold men to different standards. Men and society feed women these lies so that the woman will have ready access to an excuse for when he eventually cheats on her.
Now of course if a man is there every night--that's a problem. But sporadic strip club visits evry few moths with the guys---I have no issue with.
Some women have told me, 'oh you're being blind to the fact..."
Oh really...well to those women I usually say: This is not about being blind to the fact.
For starters--what 'fact'? The 'fact' of what....all men cheat? That men have no self-control?
Let's not begin projecting issues onto each other. Which is the more reasonable conclusion to come to here:
a. That all men are lying, cheating untrustworthy pigss
b. Or...just YOURS
--because you're making a lotta assumptions. And why are we just assuming the behavior of an individual based on their gender, what *we think* society dictates to him and how *we feel* he's going to respond to it?
Is your man that weakminded to be so led?
>>sigh<<
Sucks to be you...
Anywho--from my perspective and life experiences it's not about sex--it's about HIM. Even if he cheat...it still doesn't have a thing to do with me. It's all about him.
It's about the Character and INTEGRITY of the man. The level of love and respect he has for you.
It is on THAT foundation that trust is built.
If he couldn't be trusted--if there was no honesty within him.I wouldn't be with him. There is no gray area for me.
So...I'm not going to forbid anyone to go anywhere.
It's one thing to discuss the matter. I'ts one thingto have your man so he just doesn't like that sort of thing.
But some women will be all, "You're not gonna do this...you're not gonna do that...because I'm insecure..."
...and while you're watching perceived threats. you're oblivious to the more realistic threats going on right under your nose. A person can cheat at the grocery store. You can carry on an affair with the choir director at your church! With the next door neighbor. With your female relative.
So what..you gon forbid him from being around other women?
You're gonna watch him around your friends (i know females who do this, btw. It's sad.) too?
face then I was like,you should have went that stuff doesn't bother me.I trust him in that sense.I just thought HE didn't like that stuff.He cheap!
I know this may offend some people, but it's all about trust, if a man wants to go to the strip club you can't stop him if he really wanted to do it , hopefully he would be respectful enough to tell you , or ask how you feel about it. I myself have never gone to one with a so, but it's kinda like the women who say they MADE their man stop watching porn or viewing it on the net, lol yeah ok
erplexed From talking to various male friends from all different walks of life, men love to be visually stimulated, yes even if their happily married. I don't agree with this and I know it's quite hurtful to think you have something else to compete with , but the grim reality is while all men don't go to the clubs, THEY ALL MASTERBATE, most keep a private porn stash, please don't be fooled you would be surprised, and most men will tell you , it's nothing to do with their level of attraction to their so , it's a private release time for them. (not talking about the ones addicted to porn , they need serious help)I'm NOT an advocate of strip clubs or porn, but I will say if you have a man and he has fantasies or is curious about going , try not to condem him , try to spice things up for him, mix it up a bit , wigs, costumes, whatever works, so if he does ever visit one he'll be be reminded that those chicks have NOTHING on what he has at home! The bottom line is, you can't control a grown person.
.
Ditto. I go to the strip club with my girlfriends and my male friends....for the artistry
I mean, I'm just too old to babysit. If I'm with you, and I'm calling you SO or DH, then I trust you and your actions.
I think I could deal with my man attending on a rare occasion. I would actually probably go with him sometimes as well! I can see why men love going, aside from the obvious reasons. Strip clubs play great music and have a great atmosphere (most of the time). I know I had fun when I have gone and can't wait to go again. Then that would be a problem.
I will admit that my original answer to this question has since changed! I was once extremely anti strip clubs, but since I've actually been to one my attitude has changed.
But It definitely shouldn't be a regular thing once a guy is in a serious relationship and/or married.
