Would You Date Him? How Important Are Looks

Could you date him?

  • No. (explain)

    Votes: 29 58.0%

  • Yes. (explain)

    Votes: 19 38.0%

  • Other (explain)

    Votes: 2 4.0%
  • Total voters
    50
  • Poll closed .
loolalooh

loolalooh

Well-Known Member
I feel like we've had a thread similar to this before, but I can't find it.

Say you meet a man who is very caring, chivalrous, and wealthy. He treats you like a queen. The only con is that he is not handsome. He is no ogre - just imagine a 5'8" Rick Ross who is maybe 50lbs lighter.

Could you date this man? Could you see a future with this man?
 
I've dated men I'm not attracted to. I have stopped doing that after I fell in love, but anything is possible when I'm ready to really be out there dating again. Short fat men aren't necessarily unattractive me....so if he's fun and/or funny. I'd date him.
 
I don't know what Rick Ross looks like but I have dated plenty of men that wouldn't be considered attractive. If we can connect in a lot of areas, if I can enjoy your conversation, if we can laugh a lot, if I enjoy your company, then looks will not be the deciding factor. Every cute guy I have ever dated, when we were no longer cool, I realized he wasn't that cute. A good man looks better and better to me with each thoughful gesture.

Attraction isn't just a physical thing, there have to be layers of attraction.
 
loolalooh said:
I feel like we've had a thread similar to this before, but I can't find it.

Say you meet a man who is very caring, chivalrous, and wealthy. He treats you like a queen. The only con is that he is not handsome. He is no ogre - just imagine a 5'8" Rick Ross who is maybe 50lbs lighter.

Could you date this man? Could you see a future with this man?
Click to expand...

But is he attractive to you?
I have dated men that society would think were "not handsome" because I liked how they treated me, and how they looked didn't bother me at all. I was attracted to them too.
 
50lbs lighter than Rozay is still way too gigantic. im not attracted to fat men so im gonna go with negative ma'am.
 
It's all about how YOU see it. Because your view is going to affect the way you treat him and the way the relationship goes. If you can't do it, leave that man alone for someone who will think more of his looks and overall package.
 
If I'm attracted to him, then he would look good to me, regardless of what other people thought. If I don't like his looks tho, then no matter how it adds up on paper, I'll pass.

I think there's a big difference between what people consider objectively handsome and what looks good to someone personally. Objectively handsome is neither here nor there. How they look to you personally is EVERYTHING. You deserve to be with someone you are attracted to and they deserve to be with someone that is attracted to them.

Finally what and how you define attaction is intensely personal and can combine a lot of factors..some factors you may not even be able to verbalize. That's fine. But I think everyone should try to find someone that really lights up their world.
 
ChasingBliss said:
It's all about how YOU see it. Because your view is going to affect the way you treat him and the way the relationship goes. If you can't do it, leave that man alone for someone who will think more of his looks and overall package.
Click to expand...

Exactly! I've dated guys who some may not considered attractive but what matters most is if I'm attracted to him. Physically attractiveness is not the most important thing to me either. I've dated some fine guys who were lacking brains and didn't treat me well on the opposite ends of the spectrum.
 
Men NEVER date a woman that they, their friends, and their family don't find attractive so why should women settle?
 
loolalooh

Wealthy like generational wealthy or wealthy like the money could be blown in one year?

I'm married now; however, as long as he's willing to lose the weight and get himself in shape, I could have worked with a wealthy, 5'8", non-ogre who is very caring and chivalrous and treated me like a queen.



loolalooh said:
I feel like we've had a thread similar to this before, but I can't find it.

Say you meet a man who is very caring, chivalrous, and wealthy. He treats you like a queen. The only con is that he is not handsome. He is no ogre - just imagine a 5'8" Rick Ross who is maybe 50lbs lighter.

Could you date this man? Could you see a future with this man?
Click to expand...
 
Curly1908 said:
Men NEVER date a woman that they, their friends, and their family don't find attractive so why should women settle?
Click to expand...

I used to think that. I sat in on one of those Venus and Mars discussion groups and actually....they do. More do it than we give them credit for. Many of them men in that room admitted to being in relationships...not just bumping and stroking in the night.......with women they know their boys and family wouldnt find attractive and not nearly as attractive as the other women theyve dated.

I've brought up this discussion with numerous male friends and coworkers, they actually "settle" more than we think they do...especially in the looks dept.
 
Nope, not true at all.

DH has a friend who consistently dates women that nobody else considers attractive. It's gotten to the point where if he claims a woman is attractive nobody believes it. He told us that his most recent girlfriend was really pretty and when I saw her it was a bit of a shock. She did have a nice shape but she was not attractive at all in the traditional sense.

The woman he dated before that (which he loved and might have married) reminded me of a pug.

Some people just have a different opinion of attractive.

Curly1908 said:
Men NEVER date a woman that they, their friends, and their family don't find attractive so why should women settle?
Click to expand...
 
intellectualuva said:
I used to think that. I sat in on one of those Venus and Mars discussion groups and actually....they do. More do it than we give them credit for. Many of them men in that room admitted to being in relationships...not just bumping and stroking in the night.......with women they know their boys and family wouldnt find attractive and not nearly as attractive as the other women theyve dated.

I've brought up this discussion with numerous male friends and coworkers, they actually "settle" more than we think they do...especially in the looks dept.
Click to expand...

I've seen men settle as well and it's not always a negative thing. I've seen men choose average, educated, and maternal (I don't mean passive no backbone.) over drop dead gorgeous, uneducated, and narcissistic. :lol:

I wouldn't really call that settling though. I'd call it smart. But, there's a difference to me between dating average and dating ugly. I can do average, I could never do ugly. Thank goodness, I find DH to be extremely attractive in addition to his other attributes. To this day, I sometimes have to stop staring at him before he notices and gets the big head. :lol:
 
yep, sure would.

And plenty of men have wives that are considered "just ok" looking and they know it. Most are fine with it too and stay married.
 
Possibly, if I liked him. One of my most intense relationships was with someone who wasn't attractive by highly superficial standards.... He was overweight and didn't have a particularly handsome, (but cute-to me, lol) face.

Looks aren't everythang!!

That said... I've never found Rick Ross cute, but with an awesome personality & chemistry, who knows lol.
 
naturalmanenyc said:
loolalooh

Wealthy like generational wealthy or wealthy like the money could be blown in one year?

I'm married now; however, as long as he's willing to lose the weight and get himself in shape, I could have worked with a wealthy, 5'8", non-ogre who is very caring and chivalrous and treated me like a queen.
Click to expand...

Generational or self-made. :)
 
the real question is Is he generous :look: If so, hell yeah I'd DATE him. We can 'date' all day long. ..and shop, and buy me nice things :yep:
 
True story yall. *lights up a newport one hunnit*

Dis story is from my archives because it happened many many years ago back in Jersey.

I met dis guy at a friend's house in Irvington. He drove a white old toyota corolla. This is back in the day and mind you, I was datin hustlers that were pushin da Audi 5000, BMW M3, etc. But this guy was nice. Ugly as all get out but nice as hell. He asked me out so I said yes. I figured since it was dark outside, I wouldn't be seen, especially by da neighbors. So the following night, he picked me up. In da white bustid toyota:ohwell: in front of my crib. I was like damn!

We went out and had a ball! He won me over by the way he treated me. We conversed, went ova to da City (NYC) da whole nine. This went on for a week.

The next time he picked me up, he called and said he was coming down the street. This is in da summer time, so everybody was outside. They were outside when he picked me up in da bucket! I was like uhggg cuz my neighbors were use to me getting in BMWs, Audi's, Peugeots, etc.

Anywho, Im lookin out da window waiting for him, but I see this fancy white car. He called me and was like come on down. I didnt think nuffin of it, so I went on down. He picked me up in this white benz. Not just any benz, but a BENZ. Kids stopped playin, adults stood up and was like gotdayum!! It had this custom kit on it.

Im ramblin, but he was ugly but he became fine to me because of the way he treated me. AND he was paid. AND his head and d!ck game was like that!!! He spoiled my azzzz rotten. Fell in love with him and the feeling was mutual.

I know part of this story sound like some shyt out of one of dem Triple Crown Publications books, but da bottom line is, he was so good to me. My girlfriends teased me about him, but I didn't give a damn!!

We are still friends to this day.
 
I would date someone that I wasn't initially attracted to physically, as long as I wasn't repulsed by his looks. :lol:
 
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