Women 25 and up, what are some things you learned that younger women should know?

1star said:
  • take advice from everyone but don't follow advice from women under 40 (sorry under 40s)
  • try to do all or as many of the things you want to do before you get married or at least while you are waiting for a mate
  • stay out of debt but build your credit
  • invest, invest, invest
  • save, save, save
  • can't think of anymore right now
Click to expand...


I am not crazy about what I bolded.... I know alot of 40yr old fools!
I think the best advice is to not follow someone unless they have been through it and successfully made it thru.

I am under 40 and have been told I give the best advice. I am not bias and am careful about the advice I give because people will actually follow what someone says so I think it is best to consider all things and be careful of what you say.
 
Sometimes the answer to a prayer is no. Accept it and move on.

Some men will take everything, want more and still leave. Pay attention and run in the opposite direction if you meet this guy.

If you have to wonder how he feels or what he wants, you already have your answer.

It really is ok to put yourself first, often.

Good sex is great for your skin.

Sometimes a good cry is all you need to let.it.go.

Always buy the shoes!
 
-Put GOD then yourself first. He is the truth!!
-Truly love yourself! If you know your worth there is very little idiocy and disrespect you will put up with.
-A man should prove his love to you. Saying it isn't enough. Put in the work bru.
-Education is very important. Any form
-Be passionate about something you love.
-choose to have a career never a job
-friends are your chosen family, nuture those relathionships
-always choose kindness. a person may forget what you did or say, but they never forget how you made them feel.
-everyone is human. we all have struggles. try to not take things personal, most of the time it's not about you.
-It's not neccessary to say everything you are thinking. Somethings are better left unsaid.
-garner a positive attitude. The perks are limitless :)
-believe in your own capabilities. no one is built like you. you're your own competition. tunnel vision baby!
-have confidence in your appearance. accept who you are. if you like you, so will others.
-don't save anything you can do today for tomorrow
-tell the people in your life how much you appreciate them. I love you goes a long way!!
-learn about money management. not only saving money, learn how to make your money work for you. Invest it, keep it and make more of it.
-LIVE LIFE LIKE YOU DIED BEFORE
 
I would say don't waste your time. If you feel you are ready for a committed relationship and your partner is not, move along. You cannot change his mind by changing who you are. You cannot change his mind by having his baby. You cannot change his mind by trying to do and be all things to him. You cannot change his mind by buying him gifts. If it's not what he wants, it's not what he wants and you will wear yourself out trying to force it into existence.
Plus many times when you move along, he sees what he is missing!
 
If you're accustomed to Gucci don't settle for Guess!! God got you to the point of Gucci for a reason, so why settled for less than what you are accustomed too?

In regards of success, (don't stone me) but think like the WHITE PEOPLE.....that you are entitled to success, great things, the best that life has to offer, etc, because OF WHO YOU ARE...and the COLOR OF YOUR SKIN!!! Our ancestors paid the price, it's time WE reap the benefits!

If he can't take care of himself (or his child/ren) chances are he can't do much for you either.

Live well, but smart! Understand that you can have the best for less (or free).

Love God first; then yourself....everyone else is secondary.

Find pictures, scripture, quotes, etc of your goals. Meditate/pray on those goals and watch God set you up to accomplish them.

Surround yourself with people who have the same (OR BETTER) mindset then you. Be able to glean/learn from your friends and family....and vice versa.

Learn to be desireable not only physically; but mentally. Men love women who are self-assured and can think for themselves. (But know how to make them feel needed; as well).

Can't think of anything else right now....but I'll be back.
 
Understand that no matter how hard you try to do everything right, you will still make mistakes and people will still disappoint you. Trust God, take life one day at a time, forgive yourself and others, take time to really enjoy yourself and your life. Do the things that really make you happy as often as possible.
 
1. Don't ever doubt yourself
2. Be careful what you wish/ask for, because you may just get it and be disappointed
3. Don't rush through life trying to get married, have kids and land the dream job too soon. It's great if you do as they're all blessings, but with all of the above come A LOT of responsibility where you may not have time to actually enjoy life.
4. Enjoy the high's and low's in getting all that you desire in life, as you'll appreciate it more.
 
Biology can be destiny, use your time & hormones wisely.

Respect every woman you meet, whether you agree with her lifestyle or not.

She's come to teach you something about yourself.

Find a tribe that truly "gets you", supports your authentic self.
 
Everything happens for a reason, bad experience will not seem so bad later on down the line; they are all learning experience that we can grow stronger from.

Have a positive outlook on life, positive outlook reaps positive results. Negativity spreads; steer clear of it.

Only take advice from people whose opinion you value. Never take relationship advice from people with a track record of broken relationships.

Not all men are liars/cheaters/will walk out on his family. There are some good ones, keep to your standards and don’t settle.

If you settle don’t be surprised by the results.

Don’t let yourself go, it will be difficult to bring yourself back

Do what makes you happy, not what looks good on paper – work wise

Don’t let people put you in a box, you can be whatever you want to be.

Have your own interests and don’t be afraid to go it alone

It is fine to be single in fact is advisable to be single for a good portion of your life.

Set a good example for your children in all aspects of your life

Want the best for your children, i.e. it is a contradiction to encourage a child to have a good education yet stuff them with junk food, teach them education is important and a healthy body and mind is just as important.

Make time for people who are important to you, forget those who are not, life is short.

Keep your credit good, don’t abuse it and get into unnecessary debt.

When you find the one, give them heart and don’t hold back

Have an A and B plan

SAVE, SAVE and SAVE some more

In the workplace don’t let them find anything to pull you up on, not even a hair out of place.

Work hard, don’t be a slacker

Get an education

Relationship stress will age you badly, don’t let it get there, get out

Be grateful with what you have, it can be taken away in a instant

Keep your plans to yourself, because if it doesn’t work out you will be known as a talker rather than a walker

Don’t act like a wife until he puts a ring on it, this include finances and babies

Don’t wait to find God, find him now!

:)


 
Oh and this may seem really minute but do not call more than 2x in a row or leave weird whiney voicemails :look: I look at guys who do this to me and they come off as crazy and stalkerish, so now I see why no one ever answered my calls a few years back :lol:
 
JFemme said:
Biology can be destiny, use your time & hormones wisely.

Respect every woman you meet, whether you agree with her lifestyle or not.

She's come to teach you something about yourself.

Find a tribe that truly "gets you", supports your authentic self.
Click to expand...


Ooooh I love this. Being on lhcf is the first time in my life where I found this sense of having a "tribe," working on having it irl as well, that's where it gets tricky for me though, but I finally believe it is possible to have the support I need.
 
I think some of the best understanding I got about relationships came from men. It seems that women often spend a lot of time talking to each other about what makes a man tick, but who can tell you better than a man? I recently asked my husband to tell me one thing he wished women knew. He got on a roll and gave me a list of really crucial stuff, but here's one of the things he said:

"Men's reasons for getting into relationships tend to be geared more toward what they can get out of it for themselves: sex, friendship... ( but not necessarily commitment.) It's not until a man begins to see the value of a woman does he begin to understand what it would mean to lose her. It is at that point that a woman becomes more valuable than the freedom he's been trying to hold on to." But before a man can see the woman's value, SHE has to know her value."


From my own personal experience, I know that many of the mistakes I made stemmed from the fact that I was clueless concerning my value.



Young women: know your value!


 
I'm only 26 and a :newbie: but I find that the most important thing I've learnt in my 26 years is that though I'm still learning and I'm still growing, I am ENOUGH. And I won't let anyone make me think otherwise. :yep:
 
Biology can be destiny, use your time & hormones wisely.

Respect every woman you meet, whether you agree with her lifestyle or not.

She's come to teach you something about yourself.

Find a tribe that truly "gets you", supports your authentic self.
Click to expand...

ITA with above...I would also add

Take all advice with a grain of salt. Folks mean well, but I've found that often times people give you advice they themselves have never and probably will never follow.

Respect your man's privacy. Don't tell your girlfriends everything about him and your relationship. There are some things that should remain within the privacy of a couple.

Never pursue a man....just doesn't work.
 
A little while ago, a friend asked me to write up some things that women in relationships should know. These are the ones I remember:


- When he forgets to do or say something, sometimes he just forgot. It doesn't mean it's some passive-aggressive thing where he's trying to piss you off.

- When you ask him how he's feeling or what he thinks about something, and he says "I don't know", sometimes it really does mean that he doesn't know. He's not avoiding talking to you, he's not dismissing your feelings. Don't make it out to be more than it really is.

- If he accuses you of cheating, even though you're not, it's probably because he's cheating. Transference. It's a sonofa*****.

- You can tell him you want him to do something a million times, but it won't really stick until you show him what you want done.

- If you have to chase him, or if you feel that you're chasing him, he's not for you. If he's not reciprocating the sort of affection you think you need, find someone who does, don't go making his life and your life miserable by trying to change him. You just aren't compatible.

- If he has some pre-conceived notions about a "man's role" and a "woman's role", chances are he's going to be one of those controlling types. If that's your thing, go for it. If not, run away before you find yourself married, pregnant, or stuck.

- If he's more concerned about what his friends think, he's too immature to be in a real relationship. Find someone a little bit more grown up.

- If he constantly says or does something mean, but then quickly adds "Just kidding" so that you don't get mad, you have every right to get mad. A "just kidding" doesn't make it any less mean.

- Learn to choose your battles. Yes, cliché. But if you find yourself fighting over him being 5 minutes late, you are being ridiculous and he has every right to ignore your tantrum.

- Deal with issues in a timely manner. Don't sit around angry about him staying out late, and then bring it up 6 months later. You just end up sounding like a crazy person.

- If material goods are important to you, don't go whining to your friends that he didn't buy you what you wanted. Get a job, get a better job, save up for what you want. Don't expect him to think certain expenses are as necessary as you do seem to think they are.
 
milknhonee said:
Finding your purpose in life is a process, but the things you like most and that you are passionate about indicates the path of your purpose. You will gain clarity on the specifics, but if you follow your strong likes you will build wisdom and experience in that area and your passion will grow and as the bible says, "Your gifts will make room for you" - meaning your passion for it and your experience will open many doors for you. I spent a lot of time worrying about making the right decision that I sometimes didn't make one at all for fear of making the wrong one.


Do what you want (within reason of course). I spent so much time trying to do the "right thing" that I missed doing what I wanted. I am a Christian so I tried so hard to be led by the Lord and was a little bit too deep. I believe that if I pray and am sincere about seeking and following the leading of the Lord "He will give me the desires of my heart" meaning He will put the desires He has for me in my heart. If I make a mistake or get lost, its okay. Thats a part of life and He will find me and work all things for my good. When I got this revelation, a huge weight was lifted because I worried a lot about whether I was making the right choices, even small choices.

Follow your instinct. I would have avoided a lot of heartache if I had listened to my gut feeling. I am still working on this. I do more, but I tend to believe people or situations or waver back and forth until they prove my gut feeling and then I'm like ..."I knew it! What a waste of time."
Click to expand...

This hit home...

...subscribing!
 
Hi, everyone.
I have nothing to add. (I don't fit the age bracket):look:
But...
I am so glad I can come to this forum and learn from everyone here. This place helped me through a lot. I am glad I found LHCF when I did. :yep:
Thanks everyone for your contributions!
 
- Forgive, don't waste your energy on past hurts
- Don't hold onto anger, let it go!
- Find out who you are before you try to get into a relationship
- Desperation is not a cute look
- Watch the company you keep; surround yourself with people who will encourage and get you where you want to go.
- Pay attention to warning signs before giving your heart away to someone, they are always there.
- Drink plenty of water!
- Encourage other women around you, say something positive. We all need to come together
- Don't feel pressured/insecure to get married just because everyone else around you is either engaged/married.
 
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