Why are ugly/skanky/rude girls so popular?

[yokoyokogirl]

First off I try to be polite and don't dress skanky or what not. I'm not claiming I'm a gift to men, but it seems like I keep seeing decent guys setting up shop with undecent women.

I just have to vent. I'm kinda tired of seeing the most banged up, rude, unclean looking, skanky (usually YT) girls dating or getting married to nice looking, polite, successful men. I just don't get it.

I'm talking loud, hoochish, drunk all the time, dressed skankily all the time and acting dumb.

Is there something that men find attractive in that? I'm not hating, but just curious to what I must not know about the opposite sex.

 

[ambergirl]

You and me both...

Some men like women who are clearly "beneath" them socially, some men are into the rescue fantasy and want to save these women from themselves, some men like women who are a little neurotic (I've had a couple of men tell me they like their women with a touch of crazy...makes life more interesting and also makes the woman and her craziness the issue in the relationship, not them and their behavior), and some men may just be in the sex haze and find these women sexually attractive.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

/\/\/\ Just to add:

If you read Sleek's post in the OT about emasculated men, many of them date these girls for self-fulfillment and to exude the last ion of masculinity that they may have. A lot of these guys are straight up and down punks and are afraid to be with a self-assured women. They're afraid that she may take their roles.
Remember, too, while many white children might have grown up with seemingly perfect households, lot of white men (and women) grew up with emotionally absent fathers. This inhibited their ability to choose appropriate lifetime mates because they too never saw an loving and functional interaction between men and women.

 

[Vintageglam]

beacause they are an easily lay, not too mentally taxing, not too emotionally demanding, always smiling and up for a good time and are most importantly easily disposable....

First off I try to be polite and don't dress skanky or what not. I'm not claiming I'm a gift to men, but it seems like I keep seeing decent guys setting up shop with undecent women.

I just have to vent. I'm kinda tired of seeing the most banged up, rude, unclean looking, skanky (usually YT) girls dating or getting married to nice looking, polite, successful men. I just don't get it.

I'm talking loud, hoochish, drunk all the time, dressed skankily all the time and acting dumb.

Is there something that men find attractive in that? I'm not hating, but just curious to what I must not know about the opposite sex.

 

[jamaicalovely]

That's it right there, Stella.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

A self-assured women will call you on your s***. Those kinds of girls will generally take what they can get. Depending on a man's stage in life, the less the challenge...the more appealing the target.

 

[Eritreladiee]

How we know they're decent?

I partly judge someones decency by the company they keep - I don't care if they look good, are "successful" or seemingly polite, esp. if they got a loud hoochified skank on they're arm. Dude'll go from to in an instant

 

[DiamondDivyne]

Yeah, I've often wondered this as well. I think it kind'a keeps things interesting for the men. If they are really straight laced and by the book, having a woman that is unpredicatable and can shake things up for them may seem appealing. Along with the fact that the woman is "socially" beneath them, as someone else put it. Think of all the men that were falling all over "I Love New York." While most of them wouldn't get a second glance from me...the fact of the matter is men from ALL walks of life lined up to willingly court...her...(I know that's TV and may not count, but it was an example).

On the flip side, decent men often complain about good women falling all out for not-so-decent doggish men. It really does work both ways. I'm not sure why, but the decent men and decent women just seem to miss each other in the universe sometimes.

I had an epiphany last night: I have a lot to learn about men, love, and relationships...lol

 

[yokoyokogirl]

I met this one fine young Black man here and he was nice, polite, funny and into sports. But as soon as the hoochie-fied YT chick with no clothes on came over, he was all up on her. She was loud, skanky and throwing back drinks. And it's not the first time I've seen that.
But I'm beginning to wonder if it's just brothas. I had a Jdude tell me he thought blonde hair and blue eyes were the most beautiful thing in the world. Seriously. And next thing I know he's wifed up some horsey look YT chick...

Not bitter...just sayin.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I have 4 distant cousins (they're brothers) who were all very attractive when they were younger. Each of them had beautiful wives, nice homes, etc. Well, I said they were attractive, but I didn't mention their drinking, philandering, etc. Needless to say, all the pretty wives left them, and now they're all with much less attractive, less professional, less poised women. My grandmother asked why such handsome men ended up with such ugly women (in looks and in action). My mother reminded her that their pretty wives weren't taking their crap, so they went to find others who would... It happens all the time!

 

[Spiffy]

beacause they are an easily lay, not too mentally taxing, not too emotionally demanding, always smiling and up for a good time and are most importantly easily disposable....

This is pretty much it right there, but maybe it is something about the woman that could have made him fall in love that we don't see. Hmmph!

 

[Vintageglam]

My advice to you Yokoyoko girl unless you are happy to be "just kickin it" for a while stay away from these sorts of men. Just my exp in I gleaned during my dating life (I am married now), but men like this are "generally" not ready for any form of commitment or anything heavy. To tell the truth I think that's kinda cool that they know what they don't want and don't mess around with the "serious girls" and waste their time. I kinda respect that bc they know their market and correspondingly no one really gets hurt.

Instead look out for the ones who like reading, traveling, etc and chilling with the same groups of friends. That set up screams maturity, curiosity (beyond just physical attraction) and stability and these sorts of men have to be really serious before they bring a girl into a group so will usually not mess around. Also men tend to want to settle down when all their friends are settling down (my hubbie and all 5 of his closest friends all got married in the same year - and boy was that an expensive year for all of us!), so look to see what his friends are doing. If they are still playboys and dogging him out for having a serious gf then be friends but don't get too emotionally involved unless you can see he is a strong character and really into you. Also make sure you are civil and polite to his freinds and try and get on with them. Men have a huge bee in their bonnet about their gf's getting on with their friends.

Just my two cents and clearly this is just my opinion.

HTH's

 

[DiamondDivyne]

Great advice Stella. And it makes so much sense!

 

[alittlestar]

agreed -- great advice Stella

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

On point Stella..this is how I have felt over the years..there must be something about me I either get the thug or the dl dudes..I need to check my manostat to fine intelligent men..

 

[Almaz]

Hahahahaha That right Eri that is what I was thinking a man who likes to deal with these type of women are freaks themselves and I would not want any parts of it.

How we know they're decent?

I partly judge someones decency by the company they keep - I don't care if they look good, are "successful" or seemingly polite, esp. if they got a loud hoochified skank on they're arm. Dude'll go from to in an instant