"No offense, but I like your real hair better!" Why are we so catty about hair? LONG

[Champagne_Wishes]

All I have to say is that she was out of pocket for that comment.

 

[lexi08]

Re: "No offense, but I like your real hair better!" Why are we so catty about hair?

Hi Ayana, I personally didn't see anything wrong with her comment. she was being honest. Was it because she said it in front of white folks? would you have been bothered if it were a bunch of black ppl. she was being honest so whats the beef. its her opinion right? I don't think she was hating (from reading your post)

What? No offense but her comment was out of line no matter who was present when she made the comment. I believe this woman was definitely hating on her. I have been hated on myself enough times to know better

 

[Keen]

Re: "No offense, but I like your real hair better!" Why are we so catty about hair?

Loook at the bright side, Those white people now know not to disrespect you.

That's what this black corrections officer had the NERVE to say to me today in front of a table full of my colleagues! We were eating lunch in the caf at the courthouse, and she walked up to say hello, just as one of the girls I work with was commenting on how nice my hair looks (y'all know I'm rocking my sew in ). Anyways, instead of just keeping her mouth shut as everyone else at the table agreed how nice it looked, she had to try to put me out there by saying "No offense, but I really like your real hair better - it looks a lot more natural!" I was like WTF???? Did she really just say that ish to me out loud? In front of a table full of white people? I mean, I'm not ashamed that I have a weave or anything, but quite frankly, it's not anyone's business! Then I had to sit there for the rest of lunch and field questions from a table full of white men and women that don't know the first thing about a weave! You know they were asking to feel it and look at my scalp! I was so pissed!!!

But not to be outdone, you KNOW I had to come back with, in my sweetest tone, "Well actually, I don't like your hair at all, so I guess we're even." (My mama has always said that my tongue is too quick for my own good!) Anyways, why do black women have to be so catty about hair? White women will rock a head full of extensions with the roots showing, ala Britney Spears or Paris Hilton, and no one will say a word! Why did she feel the need to try to call me out about my hair? I mean, I have a head full of hair underneath this sew in, and even if I didn't, what business was it of hers to put it out on front street??? Now mind you, she has the nastiest, most matted head of dyed blond sister locks I've ever seen, she's a large woman, and is aging very badly. But I have NEVER commented on any of these things, nor would I! But I couldn't hold my tongue with the comeback, and she just looked at me, rolled her eyes, and walked off! The white folks were like, "Did you really just tell her you don't like her hair?" It's actually kinda funny in retrospect, but I'm hella mad she even carried the whole thing that way!!!

 

[hopeful]

Ayanapooh,
I gotta say I am hatin' because how you gonna look so dang cute with your own hair and with that cute a$$ weave too. It just ain't fair! But see that's just the diff between me and that chick, I'm just gonna tell you, "Ooh girl I love your hair. And yeah, I'm a little jealous (but in a sweet loving way ) The funny thing to me is that the weave looks so much like your own hair I don't know why she was so confident it was a weave. You know what I'm saying? She's kinda paying a little too much attention to you and your hair. She needs to GET A LIFE!

Anyway, I can't wait till this summer because by then your natural hair is going to be even prettier, longer and fuller than the pretty weave you have right now. Enjoy the rest of your week and have a fun weekend!
Hopeful

 

[brownsugarbabe]

I agree with the sentiments expressed, she should have known better....but that's the thing, maybe she didn't. Some people have no class and don't know when it's ok to voice their thoughts. You let her know that what she said was not cool.

 

[carletta]

that green ugly monster just had to show its' head! she just can't stand to hear someone compliment you on your hair, so the :flyingwit had to make herself feel better by sounding and looking belligerent ! Jelous :Cow:
I'm sorry, I digress, ( I had a flash back from one of my hater relatives ) but... brush that hater monster off your shoulder and swing that hair girl !

 

[Sascha]

I'm sorry this happened to you. Some women just suck. It would be nice we (black women) could all just support each other and not take everything as some sort of competition.

 

[OnlyErin]

Ayana, is this the same woman who was throwing shade last year around this time while you still had your relaxed ends? If so, then she is still hating with a vengeance and hopefully your comeback will shut her up for good. If this is some different woman, than I'm not sure how to interpret her comment. It was dead wrong to put you out there in front of people. There's just certain things you don't say. Even giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming that she THOUGHT she was paying you a compliment, it's still uncalled for.

In college, I got a weave that was blond and auburn. It looked a hot mess, but when my parents came up to see me and we were walking around campus with some of my friends, they didn't say a word about my hair even though I could tell they didn't like it. They weren't about to put me out there in front of people like that. If nothing else, this woman should have had the tact to mention to you, when you were alone, that she thought you looked better (to her) with your natural hair. She may be like my bf - fiercely antiweave and angry that people with pretty hair opts to cover it up with fake hair - I don't know. But I agree that by putting you on blast like that, her motives are suspect, especially since you were getting compliments.

As for why some black women tend to be catty, well, I don't know if I can answer that. In South Florida, honestly, I didn't get much cattiness from black people regarding my hair. Now that I'm in the North again, I'm getting the sidelong stares and the whispers again. I think that people think that black women having long hair is such a rarity that they don't even stop to think about commenting. Also, as you point out, white celebs have made it "cool" to be seen sporting extensions, so that adds another element right there.


OE

 

[DragonPearl]

That was catty and underhanded. Insecure and competitive women are prone to doing this.

 

[Peachtree]

I doubt if she "fronts" on u again!!!! ....she's scared u might embarrass her again