Black Women are the least desirable?

[Blackmagic]

I like you, you give out some really good advice, thank you very much

I second that! Bunny you're very wise

 

[MzLady78]

Y'all aint know? Bunny is our resident relationship guru.

 

[Kurlee]

Okay, I'll bite.

This is what I did.

Like MzLady78 said, there was nothing I could do if I ran into ignorant Todds, Julios, Tyrones, Pradeeps and Wongs (hey, can't leave the Asians out) who were gonna somehow let me know they didn't want me. Even if I knew for sure that a good portion of these men didn't want me, it ultimately did not matter... I needed to spend as little time on them as possible.

In regards to Kurlee's comment, knowing that this issue was out there to a degree meant that I needed to be more accutely focused on my goal. I was gonna get married and have a family. I considered that my birthright. I know a growing number of black women make the decision, based on this issue, that they will learn to accept the possibility of being alone all their lives and making alternative plans if they wanted children (some form of single parenthood, being the favorite aunt, etc.)

Not Bunny. No shade on anyone who chose that route, but I was not going to "accept" anything I didn't want because of statistics.

So I made it more of a priority to date smart and not waste my time with non-marriage minded individuals. While I felt that the world (and the men in it) should be my oyster, I also knew that there would be men who would sidetrack me and throw me off course... and people in general who would try to convince me that I had to settle for less than my ideal abundant life because I was a black woman.
If anything, I felt that as I entered my 30s, I might have had to make more of an effort than some of my non-black female counterparts to ensure that I married and married well (according to my definition of marrying well). I'm not saying every 30-something white and Asian woman has her pick of good men either, but if it was going to be slightly more difficult for me, I would just work harder. This didn't mean chasing men, but it meant doing more to make my social life a priority so that I had more chances to meet the right one.

girl, you are always so on point. I totally feel u.

 

[intergalacticartist]

These men who do not date black woman have an insecurity within themselves. You don't want to be with someone like that anyway. I would not want to have kids with them anyway because I don't want my kids growing up with that.

 

[chocolat79]

Y'all aint know? Bunny is our resident relationship guru.

Yep. I read your post and realized I had missed a Bunny post, LOL.

 

[ella_belle]

OP, I know you posted this a little while ago, but I just wanted to give you a bit of advice. The ladies on here have said all that needs to be said on the original topic (thanks everyone, I'm just a bit older than the OP and I found it all quite useful too!) My piece of advice is this.

STOP GOING TO thestudentroom.

It was the first forum that I ever used, and I spent a lot of time on there. A lot of the threads, especially regarding university, were really useful. However, I found the racism on there really hard to deal with, and in the end I stopped using it. I thought it was just me, but clearly not. Seriously, it'll just upset you! If you do stay on there, just remember that the concentration of ignorant idiots on the internet is much higher than in the real world .

 

[Lenee925]

Y'all need to get off-line and go meet some men who love everything about a black woman. I recently met a white guy at church who has never even kissed a white woman because he has never been attracted to them. He is confident about who he is and isn't a self-hater but was raised around black folk all his life and I wouldn't believe it unless I saw his family for myself. He dislikes straight hair and weaves and loves "Erykah Badu hair". He says he will only date black women because we come from "strong families, are independent and not clingy, driven, focused and simply beautiful". You think I argued with him? Pleeeeeeeeease!

 

[myronnie]

My personal opinion is that it has to do with how the media has chosen to portray Black women from around the world.

I disagree..

 

[myronnie]

Here's a tip. Instead of listening to blogs, I think about this. I think about how many stares I get from the opposite sex of all races. I think of how changing into my favorite dress makes guys give me random discounts. I think about how I occasionally make teenage boys stutter incoherently. I think about how my boyfriends would tell me how beautiful I was, even if I didn't feel like it. I think about when my ex told me he loved me for the first time. When I think about all those things, I don't care about some ignorant bloggers. People all over will find some reason to hate black women, white women, asian woman, hispanics, etc. But what they think of them, does not matter to me. I'm not their stereotype that they like to dis and write off. I'm just me and they don't know me.

Men of all colors find me very attractive. They find my demeanor cute and sexy. They love my body, especially my butt. So, let the haters hate. There's plenty of men that let their racism or society warp their desires into something fowl. Letting their narrow views of the world hurt me, only gives them more power. Regardless of what they think, I know that I am a beautiful desirable woman. Always remember that no matter what happens.

YESSSSS I agree with the whole above post ) Men love confidence OP so maybe the reason why alot of guys haven't been giving you attention is that you might not exude confidence.
However, you shouldn't really care whether guys give you lots of attention as this will only make you feel insecure. Instead just love life whether or not a guy thinks you're cute or not!

 

[CurlyMoo]

Don't believe the hype and don't listen to ignorant young folks, still wet behind the ears and haven't experienced real life and real people. One of the saddest things in life is when a young woman enters the world and discovers that she's going to be judged not based on who she is but based on the color of her skin.

It's impossible to know what's really in the hearts of human beings; as we don't know every single person and their opinion on Black women. Nor does it matter, but I would be caution eating the flood of people who give you dirty looks. i.e. waiter/waitress..

Unfortunately, many Black women live up to the stereotype, and the media seems to love this image to use us as the butt of jokes. My advice would be to stop watching and listening to the media and negative websites for the next 5 years.

 

[abcd09]

Cherrycherry, save yourself the mental torture and stay away from boys and men who dont like black women (or people for that matter) and view you as the exception to the rule. You'll save yourself from pulling your hair out trying to "get them to see". We've all been your age, and realizing stuff about the world is a tough, tough necessity to experience. But you'll learn that younger people are grossly misinformed, and the older generation is wiser, and with age you'll be able to find the ones who love you for you and won't make a deal out of race or any other issue. Just concern yourself with being kind to others, generous, happy,etc with just being a good person, and learn to weed out the bad (you're lucky in this case because they've pretty much weeded themselves out!).

 

[BlackHairDiva]

There is another forum that is an eye opener... Dawnali.com No black women are not the least desirable. The forum is called "loving my sista" , there are a lot of men interested in us. In fact 70% of the people visiting the site are non black men. There are more men on there than there are black women.

 

[ppp422]

Tyra did a show on dating preferences. I didn't care for her show personally, but I wanted to mention it just in case you wanted to look it up.

 

[CurlyMoo]

There is another forum that is an eye opener... Dawnali.com No black women are not the least desirable. The forum is called "loving my sista" , there are a lot of men interested in us. In fact 70% of the people visiting the site are non black men. There are more men on there than there are black women.

WOW, I never knew about this website. Are there others. I like the forum topics too. Thank for posting that.