Where Did I Go Wrong???

LeftRightRepeat said:
I will say that the one red flag that I see is that he didn't try to take it further i.e. sex, from August 2015 until now. But hindsight and I'm not exactly sure what you mean by longing and desire ... and you don't have to say
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I just posted something similar... I think it's odd. Maybe the relation per his pov was more like really close bffs even though the op thought it was more of a bf/gf relationship.
 
Actually, after discussing it with you guys, I'm kind of feeling better now. Much better than I should, I think. I was dreading seeing him today, but as it turns out, I didn't die from pain and hurt. He should be the one to feel bad. I'm just going to cut him off and move on.

almond eyes said:
Yes to this. I have been guilty of not being open with my feelings from the start. A big mistake. But it's totally due to insecurity. And the language is what men love to hear.

As the others have advised. Don't read too much into a man's mind. He may come around again but don't wait for it. Learn the lesson and move on. Listen to some happy music.

Best,
Almond Eyes
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Thanks you guys! You ladies are the best!
:grouphug2:

I think the initial shock had me in a tailspin. I literally couldn't think straight for the rest of the day. I'm sure there will be more to come from him. The graduation should be interesting. And I had forgotten, but we are entered in a few brewing (beer :guiness:) contests this summer. That aught to be good time and a test of my maturity. And of course there's morning tea. I get the feeling he's going to show up tomorrow morning. :hand:

I'll keep you ladies informed.
 
curlicarib said:
I thought we were dating, but maybe we weren't? Every time we went out he drove and paid. We never went dutch and I never paid. This is what I'm trying to figure out. In my mind I made my feeling for him clear. I left it to him to make the move. Maybe my friend is right and I should have made the move first? Either way, I'm done. I don't even want to be his friend at this point.
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He just found someone else. You did nothing wrong. The right guy for you would've made a move and/or respected you waiting (if that's what you wanted) sexually. He would've still pursued you regardless and made it official (with your permission of course. )
 
@curlicarib, he'll be back. They always come back, lol. He was trying to have his cake and eat it too, and still can't MAN up to tell you what went down. B!tch-made, for sure, but who cares at this point? Can't wait to hear about the updates. You can have so much fun with this one, but I'll leave that up to you. :angeldevil:
 
Lol! Now that I've got my head right, I'm thinking that I most certainly will enjoy this. Based upon our conversation this afternoon, I do think he may be back. I think he under estimates my capacity for pettiness. But he'll learn. Lol!

Starting tomorrow morning. I'm carrying a zip lock bag to work. If he shows up for tea, he will be denied. I hope he dares to mention that he bought that tea I'm denying him. I will pour it into that zip lock bag and give every grain and leaf back to him. devil:


Rastafarai said:
@curlicarib, he'll be back. They always come back, lol. He was trying to have his cake and eat it too, and still can't MAN up to tell you what went down. B!tch-made, for sure, but who cares at this point? Can't wait to hear about the updates. You can have so much fun with this one, but I'll leave that up to you. :angeldevil:
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Rastafarai said:
@curlicarib, he'll be back. They always come back, lol. He was trying to have his cake and eat it too, and still can't MAN up to tell you what went down. B!tch-made, for sure, but who cares at this point? Can't wait to hear about the updates. You can have so much fun with this one, but I'll leave that up to you. :angeldevil:
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He was speeding to her house to get some. After the vapors wear off, he's going to feel kinda dumb. It reads like he wanted to be with you but he wanted to get laid more.

He'll be back. He's walking around looking stupid, embarrassed and trying to redeem himself. He misses you. Don't entertain him. He made his choice.
 
curlicarib said:
Lol! Now that I've got my head right, I'm thinking that I most certainly will enjoy this. Based upon our conversation this afternoon, I do think he may be back. I think he under estimates my capacity for pettiness. But he'll learn. Lol!

Starting tomorrow morning. I'm carrying a zip lock bag to work. If he shows up for tea, he will be denied. I hope he dares to mention that he bought that tea I'm denying him. I will pour it into that zip lock bag and give every grain and leaf back to
him. devil:
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:giggle: Have it already ziplocked. Enjoy your own tea and if he shows up I would say," Oh are you here for your tea? Here it is. " And I would hand him the tea in a bag and without a beat finish with, "I forgot to get that back to you" meanwhile sipping my new tea with it on display. But hey that's me. Can't wait to see how you handle it.
 
Y'all kissed? Yeah he was dead ass wrong I thought it was more of a friendship situation but friends don't make out. Only thing I would change in the future is to make sure you have the "what are we"/exclusivity convo before becoming emotionally invested so you both know where you stand. There were a lot of grey areas in this situation
 
.....
tumblr_inline_n75fulZDpJ1s542ce.gif

Waiting to see if he actually stops by.....
 
curlicarib said:
Lol! Now that I've got my head right, I'm thinking that I most certainly will enjoy this. Based upon our conversation this afternoon, I do think he may be back. I think he under estimates my capacity for pettiness. But he'll learn. Lol!

Starting tomorrow morning. I'm carrying a zip lock bag to work. If he shows up for tea, he will be denied. I hope he dares to mention that he bought that tea I'm denying him. I will pour it into that zip lock bag and give every grain and leaf back to him. devil:
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wooooo let the petty begin

lol.. don't invest your self too much in the petty though..
:)
buut give us updates on if he wants that tea.
 
LOL! I just finished making it. I'm combing my hair, checking emails and waiting.

I'm really curious to see if he does come by.

Itgirl said:
wooooo let the petty begin

lol.. don't invest your self too much in the petty though..
:)
buut give us updates on if he wants that tea.
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luckiestdestiny said:
.....
tumblr_inline_n75fulZDpJ1s542ce.gif

Waiting to see if he actually stops by.....
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luckiestdestiny said:
:giggle: Have it already ziplocked. Enjoy your own tea and if he shows up I would say," Oh are you here for your tea? Here it is. " And I would hand him the tea in a bag and without a beat finish with, "I forgot to get that back to you" meanwhile sipping my new tea with it on display. But hey that's me. Can't wait to see how you handle it.
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Dammit! I just read an email and now I have to talk to him about work. That means I either have to go to his office or call him into mine. :angry2:


ETA: I decided to go to his office - with my tea cup. LOL! He was sitting in his office in the dark, by himself, eating a chocolate muffin. He looked so sad. :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

I discussed business and left. I thought I was the one that was supposed to be eating chocolate and feeling sorry for myself??? :look:
 
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Chrismiss said:
Uh, huh. Make him play his entire hand for that nonsense.
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Yep, throughout our entire relationship my philosophy has always been he has to come to me. And he always has. I have decided that I will not say anything to him about his foolishness. Eventually, he won't be able to stand it and he will come to me. That's when I'll explain to him, in great detail, what an azs he is and exactly where he (in all fairness both of us) went wrong. After that, the chips can fall where they may.
 
curlicarib said:
Actually, after discussing it with you guys, I'm kind of feeling better now. Much better than I should, I think. I was dreading seeing him today, but as it turns out, I didn't die from pain and hurt. He should be the one to feel bad. I'm just going to cut him off and move on.
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Glad you're feeling better. In the future, you know what NOT to do. The nice thing about the bolded is that you have your closure. You know that he knows he was busted!
 
Girl, that's just it, his actions did match his words. I'm not new to this and I'm not easy to fool. But he sure did. Which is why I'm leaning towards the "he got impatient" theory. But I'm not prepared to forgive (right now) or forget (ever). Right now I'm thoroughly grossed out by him and not looking to have any sympathy towards him.

hopeful said:
Right. Speak up and be prepared to back up what you say with action, including opting out without a long-winded explanation. And watch men's words and actions. They should line up.
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curlicarib said:
Girl, that's just it, his actions did match his words. I'm not new to this and I'm not easy to fool. But he sure did. Which is why I'm leaning towards the "he got impatient" theory. But I'm not prepared to forgive (right now) or forget (ever). Right now I'm thoroughly grossed out by him and not looking to have any sympathy towards him.
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I meant he acted like he was your boyfriend but he never explicitly said I want you to be my girlfriend and be exclusive etc. He acted nicely and said nice things but never explicitly backed up his boyfriend actions with words.
 
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