When do you start pulling out your wallet?

[EricaJoyce]

Thanks for sharing your experiences ladies! I'm thinking I'm gonna allow him to pay for everything for now, if only because I've never done it before, and I wanna see how it feels! We are supposed to go out tomorrow. I will let you all know how it went. I hope I don't slip up!

 

[Ganjababy]

After the wedding and only occasionally

 

[softblackcotton]

I didn't pay for a long time...I mean I always paid for coffee or the little stuff. But I'm mad old skool; if you want to date me, you need to pay for our dates. Later, my then bf (now hubby) confessed that dating me was killing his wallet lol. I don't even think I'm high-maintenance at all! Anyways after becoming a couple, he paid for expensive dates, I paid for the cheaper ones. If he did dinner, I paid the highway tolls or parking fees (which cost a lot in Tokyo!) And now we are married, so it's a whole 'nother story lol. HTH.

Is your husband Japanese? I've known a few Japanese guys and they seem very chivalrous. Is that generally true?

 

[MamaBear2012]

After the wedding and only occasionally

Same here. I was going to say, after I said, "I do," and our incomes were combined. I did buy him gifts for birthdays and things like that. Nothing over the top.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Only on his birthday.

 

[gabulldawg]

So I've gone out on a couple of dates with this guy. We r going on our third date and I'm starting to feel guilty. He has paid for everything. I'm not used to going on dates that cost $$$. (People so damn cheap! Lol) should I offer to pay half for this date ? Buy the popcorn? We are going to the movies.

I can DEFINITELY relate to your post! Thanks for sharing this. I have a wonderful DH who really treats me like a queen. I wasn't used to it and sometimes felt guilty in the beginning, like I was using him. But I've gotten over it now.

Why are you feeling guilty?

Most MEN want to pay.

See this was something that I didn't know about! Unfortunately the first guy I ever dated was a real loser. Sure I had/have my dad around, but it wasn't the same.

 

[EricaJoyce]

^^^ Yes to the above! I feel like I'm using someone if they take me out! I'm happy to report that we went out and I didn't pull out my wallet...not even a fake wallet grab. He was more than happy to pay and more than appreciative of my simple thank you. He's already telling me where he's gonna take me next time!

 

[gabulldawg]

^^^ Yes to the above! I feel like I'm using someone if they take me out! I'm happy to report that we went out and I didn't pull out my wallet...not even a fake wallet grab. He was more than happy to pay and more than appreciative of my simple thank you. He's already telling me where he's gonna take me next time!

To this day dh talks about how much he appreciated me thanking him for everything he did. He said it make him want to do more for me.

 

[PopLife]

Question for the ladies that never pay for anything....if you take your SO out for his birthday do you still not pay or at least offer?

 

[FoxxyLocs]

Question for the ladies that never pay for anything....if you take your SO out for his birthday do you still not pay or at least offer?

I wouldn't take my SO out for his birthday. I'd buy a gift or a card (or both, depends on how long we've been dating), and make dinner at home.

 

[PopLife]

I wouldn't take my SO out for his birthday. I'd buy a gift or a card (or both, depends on how long we've been dating), and make dinner at home.

Oh ok.

While I agree with most of what was said in this thread (that the man should be a provider)...paying for a (cheap ) date here & there has never changed the dynamic of any of my relationships. It was well understood that they would be paying for 99% of the dates.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

Oh ok.

While I agree with most of what was said in this thread (that the man should be a provider)...paying for a (cheap ) date here & there has never changed the dynamic of any of my relationships. It was well understood that they would be paying for 99% of the dates.

Cool. Everyone has their own preference.

 

[SilverSurfer]

Question for the ladies that never pay for anything....if you take your SO out for his birthday do you still not pay or at least offer?

When I initiate taking my DH out on a date or out to dinner, at the end of the night...he still pays...lol
Truth be told, he loves when I take him out on dates despite it being done on his dime...lol

 

[GodivaChocolate]

Question for the ladies that never pay for anything....if you take your SO out for his birthday do you still not pay or at least offer?

I do take him out for his birthday and I'll pay for that and a birthday gift. It really doesn't matter cause we're married and it's our money anyway.

 

[LivingDol1]

Wait.... So no one even fakes pulling out their wallet?? Even on the first date?

I've heard that guys obviously will pay but wish girls would at least offer rather than just not do anything at all.

If I offed, and a guy let me pay, I'd have no respect for him anyway.

 

[Chanel's Tresses]

I only pay on birthdays & even then I have gotten resistance from guys. I'm very old fashion. The guy I date now even ask if I have cash to tip the bathroom lady when we go to clubs. If I don't he makes sure I do. Its in most guys nature to provide and if it's not I don't date them.

 

[UrbainChic]

When i am in an exclusive relationship or when i am about to dump him. Usually infeel like the least i can do when dumping someone is not make them pay for me too.

Sent from my iPhone

 

[FelaShrine]

I've heard that guys obviously will pay but wish girls would at least offer rather than just not do anything at all

Personally I think this is a liE or the ones who believe in that are obviously younger than me.</p>

 

[meesch]

lets see... in six months ive paid for dinner twice.

oh and once at the bar i bought my own drinks.

the first round

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

gIRL THE ONLY THING YOU REACH FOR ON A DINNER DATE IS YOUR BEVERAGE GLASS FOR ANOTHER SIP OF WHATEVER YOUR DRINKING! LOL! I DONT EVEN ACT LIKE I'M REACHING FOR MY POCKET OR PURSE , MY HANDS DONT EVEN MOVE!!!!! WHEN IT COMES TIME TO PAY FOR ANYTHING.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

Wait.... So no one even fakes pulling out their wallet?? Even on the first date?

I've heard that guys obviously will pay but wish girls would at least offer rather than just not do anything at all.

If I offed, and a guy let me pay, I'd have no respect for him anyway.

GIRL ONLY REACH IN YOUR PURSE FOR A PIECE OF GUM OR SOME LIP GLOSS.

 

[greenandchic]

With the exception of my broke a$$ ex husband (1998 - 2002) and my cheap a$$ ex boyfriend that followed, every guy I've dated always treated me by choice. When I tried to split half of a bill with a guy friend once, he said, "my father would be spinning in his grave if I allowed you to pay!".

Even after going steady for a while and having an established relationship he still always paid, no question. There was quite a difference in our incomes and age so that may have played a role...

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Wait.... So no one even fakes pulling out their wallet?? Even on the first date?

I've heard that guys obviously will pay but wish girls would at least offer rather than just not do anything at all.

If I offed, and a guy let me pay, I'd have no respect for him anyway.

No i dont.

With the exception of my broke a$$ ex husband (1998 - 2002) and my cheap a$$ ex boyfriend that followed, every guy I've dated always treated me by choice. When I tried to split half of a bill with a guy friend once, he said, "my father would be spinning in his grave if I allowed you to pay!".

Even after going steady for a while and having an established relationship he still always paid, no question. There was quite a difference in our incomes and age so that may have played a role...

One time my ex and I got into an argument during dinner and i wanted to pay for my food he BLEW up. He said it was DISRESPECTFUL that i wanted to pay for my meal. He was so mad and brought it up a few times afterwards.

 

[greenandchic]

No i dont.



One time my ex and I got into an argument during dinner and i wanted to pay for my food he BLEW up. He said it was DISRESPECTFUL that i wanted to pay for my meal. He was so mad and brought it up a few times afterwards.

Well good heavens! I don't think I need to ask why he's a ex.

 

[SamandI]

i don't pay. i don't fake grab wallet. he pays. for dinners, lunches, brunches, breakfast. for last minute grocery store trips. for vacations. for gas in the car regardless of who's driving. for movies. for car wash. you get the idea. i wasn't used to it initially, but it's been 7 months and it's interesting how easily you can get used to a good thing. He does make considerably more than I do, but that's also just his nature.

 

[StarScream35]

I started picking up the tab by the third date and then every other date from there on and then sometimes we'd do double dutch.

 

[StarScream35]

I do find it interesting how women expect men to maintain traditional roles but the women don't want to maintain traditional roles themselves..............very interesting and truly sad!

 

[A.Marie]

Never...

 

[LovelyRo]

I was just talking to this guy I'm talking to about this yesterday and he made it very clear that I am never to pay for anything and that he would be offended if I offered! He doesn't have to worry about that because at this stage I wouldn't offer to pay and I don't care who suggests it! Like if I tell him that I want to go to a concert, that means I want him to take me to a concert... Not that I want to pay for us to go. I just feel like the guy should be bending over backwards to get me during the courting phase. As a single woman, I'm independent because I have to be and I have no problem with staying in my lane once a man becomes a part of my life.

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[FelaShrine]

I do find it interesting how women expect men to maintain traditional roles but the women don't want to maintain traditional roles themselves..............very interesting and truly sad!

you mean like bearing their children? cooking food and cleaning the home?