what would you do? stay or leave

[bkschick89]

*SMDH*

No, hun- this is one of MANY problems with this situation.

I say this out of genuine concern, but it is unbelievable how much denial you're in. You have excuse after excuse, explanation after explanation. I mean does it really matter that he's only stolen from you once? How many times to you is enough to warrant leaving his trifling *** alone? 3, 4- what?

You asked the question, but are clearly not ready to hear the truth, which is unfortunate. I can tell it's going to take something EXTREME for you to wake up.

Best of luck to you.

I'm not trying to make any excuses for him.

i already asserted myself away from him because of this one time and didn't look back yet. please don't think I'm tolerating his behavior. it is day 1, you guys are jumping the gun, i am not letting him continue...

 

[awhyley]

Trust me when I tell you that we're not jumping the gun. You can't get away from your situation fast enough; and please remember this thread in times of weakness when you think and hope and pray that he's recovered and things can go back to normal, because you'll need reminding what a loser he was and not go to back to that relationship.

 

[bkschick89]

Sweetie, you cannot seriously be this naive. your problem WILL still exist because he will spend his money and yours and still have nothing. More money does not solve problems. Whatever bad habits he has while he is broke, he will have once he gets more money. The only difference is that he has a bigger amount to blow. If he is a crackhead while he's broke, once he gets this so called large sum of money, he will just be a crackhead with a Benz! (Which he will eventually sell for an 8-ball)

Boy, these young girls just don't put 2 & 2 together.

he is not a crackhead or dope head. please stop saying this. i don't find it reassuring at all. money can actually solve a lot of problems, like depression for 1

 

[naturalmanenyc]

This is a joke, right?

If not, I am really sorry that you are in the midst of such a huge mess. In reading the thread, it sounds like this guy is a drug addict. Who starts selling everything around the house but has no cash to show for it? Such drastic behavior (stealing from your purse) reads like drugs.

As for him coming into money from a lawsuit.....just remember that the lawyers get paid first. No matter what he may win, about 33% of that is going to the lawyers since it's clear that he is not paying as he goes with no job to pay for his lawsuit.

Good luck.

 

[aribell]

he is not a crackhead or dope head. please stop saying this. i don't find it reassuring at all. money can actually solve a lot of problems, like depression for 1

I'm not down on you, but there is no truth to the bolded. Money can solve money-related problems, like an inability to pay bills. It doesn't make a dishonest person honest, and it doesn't guarantee happiness.

And please, see that the opinon of this thread has been unanimous about his likely drug habit. You already said he does weed all day. If you don't believe drugs are the problem, then you should make sure that whatever you accept as the explanation actually adds up.

 

[ThickHair]

he is not a crackhead or dope head. please stop saying this. i don't find it reassuring at all. money can actually solve a lot of problems, like depression for 1

Are you serious? In this post it is very clear that you are very young and inexperienced. I hope that you don't get caught up.

 

[firecracker]

don't get it twisted y'all

yesterday was the first time he stole from me, and I've since ceased total communication with him.

this is a first time occurrence not something i been putting up with.

Shutyomouf! Drop that loser likahawtpotato chile~

 

[firecracker]

wow, i can honestly answer yes to all of those.

not worried about him showing up at my place because he doesn't exactly know where i live. my mom doesn't know about him and lets just say I'm not allowed to date... (please no lectures on that part)

only place he would know where to find me is my job or school and i hope he does show up begging

You ain't allowed to date! He hasn't been to your house? WTF? If you don't sit yo butt and purse down somewhere I swear! I have neva read anything like this herre in my life. He knows he got him self Bonita da Fool!

 

[Princess4real]

Resurrected from yesterday's thread. Seems to be needed a lot around here lately. Some things just don't make sense...

 

[Growinpainz]

girl, stay with that good man. He treats you like this because he loves you. It's only a matter of time before he puts his hand on you too, now that's real love right there!...is that what you want to hear?

I see why your mother doesn't want you to date.

 

[firecracker]

spending MY money with nothing to show for it is my problem.

NO DA HELZ YOU DIDN'T? You brought and posted your mess/bs/drama to this board for advice and discussion so deal with the advice or go sit yo young butt down getting all used up and taken for a ride. That sorry kneegrow don stole from you and your lashing out at others. Chile you need yo.................cherry popped Oh I mean head bangedGTFOOH Happy New Year!

 

[Growinpainz]

NO DA HELZ YOU DIDN'T? You brought and posted your mess/bs/drama to this board for advice and discussion so deal with the advice or go sit yo young butt down getting all used up and taken for a ride. That sorry kneegrow don stole from you and your lashing out at others. Chile you need yo.................cherry popped Oh I mean head bangedGTFOOH Happy New Year!

I mean reallyerplexed

what was the real reason you started this thread? cuz it certainly wasn't for advice

 

[justNikki]

What is it the old folks say...a hard head makes a soft behind.

She'll learn. I just hope it doesn't take her whole life to do so.

 

[Allandra]

would you stay with him or is it not worth it?

I would not stay with him. It's not worth it imo.

 

[phynestone]

I don't think anyone here wants the worst for you. Many of us just see an unfortunate situation and hope that you can break free from it. Let go of the rubbish that's holding onto you. I know how you feel, to love someone (even when the relationship is unhealthy) and not want to let go. You will, one day, when you are ready. Until then, I hope you are able to maintain your sanity and things don't go from bad to worse.

 

[Lucie]

He didn't change. He showed you his REPRESENTATIVE like Chris Rock always talks about in his shows. There's no way he could have been so positive initially and then do a complete turn around. He lied to you about who he really was. I'm sorry to say that. You deserve better. And if you have children, you are showing them exactly how a marriage works with his behavior. It's a New Year. Your year. Let him go and make way for a man who really will do those things for you and not just temporarily. Good luck!

 

[lux10023]

gasp--this is what it has come to

i really dont want to lose him....gasppppppp
one more chance--maybe---
gaspppppppp
you are in my prayers...
tis all.

 

[firecracker]

gasp--this is what it has come to

i really dont want to lose him....gasppppppp
one more chance--maybe---
gaspppppppp
you are in my prayers...
tis all.

She is only 19. She is sneaking behind her parents back. Heck she isn't even supposed to be dating. She needs a whooping and prayers.

 

[crlsweetie912]

NO DA HELZ YOU DIDN'T? You brought and posted your mess/bs/drama to this board for advice and discussion so deal with the advice or go sit yo young butt down getting all used up and taken for a ride. That sorry kneegrow don stole from you and your lashing out at others. Chile you need yo.................cherry popped Oh I mean head bangedGTFOOH Happy New Year!

It's CLEAR that she got that already!

 

[MizzBrown]

How you gonna be 19 and can't date? You grown! I dont get that...

 

[Murjani]

If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got

 

[MzLady78]

If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got

Love this!

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

i turned 19 in November, and have a really good job making some good money (T-mobile). i don't pay any rent or bills so i really don't need a man to provide for me

i just don't like providing for him... he actually treats me really good except for the fact that its draining my bank account. and that i now have to ask for the things he use to do willingly before

i feel like i'm paying to have a bf.

If he treats you so good then why is this even an issue?

A man who steals from you and demands so much without reciprocating is not someone who treats you really good.

Clearly your subconscious is telling you that there's something gravely wrong here, otherwise you wouldn't feel the need to seek advice on the situation.

Accept it for what it is, you're being used and allowing yourself to be used. Get the steppin' immediately.

 

[aribell]

19 is too old for having parents telling you that you cannot date. But if they are in fact good parents overall and not just overly strict, you might do yourself a favor and admit to them what has been going on. Depending on how they are, they might be able to help you extract yourself from this situation and hold you accountable to not going back.

If you're too afraid to do that 'cause you might "get in trouble", then you're too young to deal with real relationship issues anyway and should let this one go.

 

[R4L]

Leave him. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

 

[Butterfly08]

Is this serious???? For real???

This shouldn't even be something to think about for more than a half second. Bye bye!

This was my reaction. Like, is it April Fool's?

:buttkick:

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

i guess his theory is why work hard when you can have everything for free and do nothing. which is why i'm cutting him off right now. maybe if he stops getting handouts, he will realize he needs to actually work for what he wants and quit being a freeloader.

i just cut off his, i mean MY cell, which is under MY name that I pay for, now he can stop calling and texting me, makes it easier to ignore him.

i really don't think he is on anything else besides weed. and honestly i really dont want to lose him. but im cutting off all contact for atleast a week, yes im weak! thats my boo ppl, im just tired of his ways.

now if he goes out of his way to contact me,and shows me he really is sincere, i might just give him 1 more chance maybe... maybe

day 1: action 73 texts, 14 voicemails, 46 calls (8am-1:40), reaction 0 replies, cut off his cell.

This is so pathetic.

 

[Ramya]

How you gonna be 19 and can't date? You grown! I dont get that...

I'm going to bet she still lives at home.... and this thread alone is proof enough on why she isn't supposed to be dating.

 

[bkschick89]

i live with my mom, dad is in another state. she is overly strict, my BROTHER is 21, she doesn't want him dating either...

my dad gave me the OK, i don't tell my mom because i don't need to hear her mouth everyday.

you guys are right, I'm not seriously looking for advice. i never allow others to influence my opinions. i was just trying to prove something and the outcome was correct.

I'll give you guys an update in say a month if this thread doesn't disappear, happy new years LHCF

 

[jerseygurl]

i live with my mom, dad is in another state. she is overly strict, my BROTHER is 21, she doesn't want him dating either...

my dad gave me the OK, i don't tell my mom because i don't need to hear her mouth everyday.

you guys are right, I'm not seriously looking for advice. i never allow others to influence my opinions. i was just trying to prove something and the outcome was correct.

I'll give you guys an update in say a month if this thread doesn't disappear, happy new years LHCF

I guess you were testing the ladies of LHCF for you to make that comment above. It's all good, you do you. I guess we proved you right that we do take an issue and run with it.

Good job keep it up.