What Can We Learn From Asian Women?

[Belle Du Jour]

IMO, Asian women seem to be beating "Becky" at her own game In general, Asian women are considered educated, strong-willed, very eligible marriage partners, etc. I would say black women are just as beautiful, successful, strong, educated, all those things but somehow we get stuck with the "unfeminine" or "mule" (i.e. we can take all manner of ill-treatment) or "difficult" label. I'm sure we've had the model minority discussion around here but how can black women continue to rise above labels and stereotypes? Is it possible? This isn't a "woe is me, I'm black and should hang it up thread." Rather, I'd like a discourse on what can strategies we can learn from others to stay in the game. Let's discuss

 

[RossBoss]

You're going by the perceptions that white men have of them. I'm not really interested in vying with other groups to be in the good graces of White people.

 

[Lucie]

Asian women IME don't deal with dealbreakers in men. Got a baby? Bye. Ya poor? Bye. My family won't like you? Let me not waste my time. You are not at least half-way to achieving your goals? NEXT!

Now, I know many people will say, "I know so-and-so and she has 4 kids by 4 men. She gets abused. Blah, blah, blah!" Of course! No group is exempt from drama. Like I said, IME, Asian women usually deal with top-notch men avoiding much of the undesirable situations many women deal with.

Even my white girlfriend told me she wouldn't have married my ex-husband. She told me quite simply, "Why get involved with a man that isn't everything he needs to be?"

 

[Southernbella.]

My advice has nothing to do with Asian women, but in general, I think bw could be softer/sweeter. I used to have a terrible attitude and while it didnt keep me from having a man, Im sure it rendered me unattractive at times.

Im a lot softer now and I know that's one of the traits dh found attractive. I also have a much easier time attracting friends and getting opportunities.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

 

[meesch]

cmon son.

 

[TrueBeliever]

So do we change who we are or others perception of who we are?

 

[SummerSolstice]

The question is, what can they learn from me...

 

[Southernbella.]

Btw, which Asian women are we talking about? I don't think all or even most Asian women in the US are "winning". They just have good PR.

 

[RossBoss]

The number one objective of the Black community should be economic independence. We can use our past and current Black leaders as inspiration.

 

[TrueBeliever]

The number one objective of the Black community should be economic independence. We can use our past and current Black leaders as inspiration.

Chile, we have folks on here talking about how black women can learn a thing or 2 from Ice T's wife Coco.

What are we supposed to learn?
`

 

[sweetvi]

Actually, Asian women once they are married, will deal with a whole lot of unnecessary drama. I work with many Philippines nurses and the stories the majority have told me would your eyes pop put! It is common for the men not to work and they support them, they usually have other women in which the wives turn a blind eye, and they don't believe in divorce so it is a disgrace for the wife if the husband leaves her. If heard them say had they supported him more, given him more sex, or buy him more gifts then he would not have left them.

In addition, they are very competitive in who has the nicer amenities, more money or even bigger house.... So there are different categories of Asians and cannot all be lumped in one category.

 

[SummerSolstice]

Btw, which Asian women are we talking about? I don't think all or even most Asian women in the US are "winning". They just have good PR.

They really aren't. I talk to my BSS lady all the time. She is hoodtastic.

 

[Kranbery]

cmon son.

Oh and, to contribute to the thread, Asian women are seen as easy and compliant (though my Asian friends in the past have shown me otherwise). The fact that they look like little girls well into adulthood helps the stereotype. I don't think it is any deeper than that .

 

[Orchid1992]

Uhh what?....

 

[mallysmommy]

...but how can black women continue to rise above labels and stereotypes? Is it possible? I'd like a discourse on what can strategies we can learn from others to stay in the game. Let's discuss

we can start by stopping the support and put an end to media foolery like BBW, Love and Hip Hop, Madea and etc. you'd be surprised how much the masses are persuaded by the media. People actually think that ALL (or at least a good portion) black women are like this. and its like one show after another of us in the worst of stereotypes.

thats just my opinion though

 

[SummerSolstice]

we can start by stopping the support and put an end to media foolery like BBW, Love and Hip Hop, Madea and etc. you'd be surprised how much the masses are persuaded by the media. People actually think that ALL (or at least a good portion) black women are like this. and its like one show after another of us in the worst of stereotypes.

thats just my opinion though

mallysmommy now u know that is NOT going to happen lol. too many of us enjoy being the butt of the joke.
I don't understand how people have blogs that entertain this mess on their RSS feed... how they watch those shows... all that stuff gives me heart burn. I don't get it. Its not enjoyable.

 

[sweetvi]

Or even start owning our own BSS chain stores....... Now even they are starting to think we are beneath them from certain experiences I had

 

[gforceroy]

Nothing at all.....

 

[SmileyNY]

Or even start owning our own BSS chain stores.......

This. I agree. We need to take back control of our hair care. Black hair care is a huge money making industry & that money needs to be funneled back into the black community.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Naveah2050]

Nada....am not interested in being seen as a submissive docile sex object who welcomes the big strong man who can help me make decisions. Fcuk that!

 

[SummerSolstice]

Or even start owning our own BSS chain stores....... Now even they are starting to think we are beneath them from certain experiences I had

That would be easy to do if the Koreans didn't have a cold hard lock on the supplies. I know where to outsource BSS products and supplies but to get it at the same prices they do is near impossible. Koreans do business with Koreans.

 

[RossBoss]

That would be easy to do if the Koreans didn't have a cold hard lock on the supplies. I know where to outsource BSS products and supplies but to get it at the same prices they do is near impossible. Koreans do business with Koreans.

Who manufacturers the supplies? You mean like Revlon? How does Sally's get their merchandise at fair prices?

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

My advice has nothing to do with Asian women, but in general, I think bw could be softer/sweeter. I used to have a terrible attitude and while it didnt keep me from having a man, Im sure it rendered me unattractive at times.

Im a lot softer now and I know that's one of the traits dh found attractive. I also have a much easier time attracting friends and getting opportunities.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

^^I so agree with this.

I think that we as BW are wonderful in our own right, and don't really need to do TOO much as far as the way of "improving ourselves" imo. But , if there was one thing that I think that we as BW could take from AW, or just women of other races in general, it's the DROPPING of the attitude, and being more sweet/feminine in general towards all.

I think that in past years BW were more feminine and softer to some degree, but as the years have passed, the less and less I've seen this be the case. And I'm not just talking about attitude. I'm actually talking about dress, grooming, and even manner of behavior. Some women I see out here look, talk, and act like straight up dudes! erplexed It's almost as if the gender lines these days are becoming so blurred in our people especially.

Back then, we as BW used to have so much CLASS, dignity, taste, wonderful styles of dress and grooming, etc. And we weren't just spreading our legs for every Tom, Dick and Harry! Or, shall I say every Tyrone, Darnell, and Howard.

So yeah, if we could take one thing to learn from, it would be this imo.

I know when I show more of my "softer side", people (men especially) tend to LOVE it!


Look at how fabulous we were! I just think that women in GENERAL had a more softer and feminine quality back then that is severely lacking these days.

 

[FelaShrine]

My advice has nothing to do with Asian women, but in general, I think bw could be softer/sweeter. I used to have a terrible attitude and while it didnt keep me from having a man, Im sure it rendered me unattractive at times.

Im a lot softer now and I know that's one of the traits dh found attractive. I also have a much easier time attracting friends and getting opportunities.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

This is something you & Zaynab have mentioned a few times and Im inclined to agree.

anyway I completely agree with the first reply to this thread

 

[SummerSolstice]

Who manufacturers the supplies? You mean like Revlon? How does Sally's get their merchandise at fair prices?

RossBoss if you're talking "white" supplies... like revlon... cuz I don't really consider sallys to be a BSS. Those supplies are mainly from Europe I believe.

When I hear BSS I'm thinking the corner store with the billions of packs of hair on the wall, $2 jewelry, wigs in the back, a ton of products with vaseline as the main ingredient... those BSS stores that are catered to "us" are supplied by Koreans manufacturers.

 

[RossBoss]

RossBoss i

When I hear BSS I'm thinking the corner store with the billions of packs of hair on the wall, $2 jewelry, wigs in the back, a ton of products with vaseline as the main ingredient... those BSS stores that are catered to "us" are supplied by Koreans manufacturers.

This description gave me a headache.

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

My advice has nothing to do with Asian women, but in general, I think bw could be softer/sweeter. I used to have a terrible attitude and while it didnt keep me from having a man, Im sure it rendered me unattractive at times.

Im a lot softer now and I know that's one of the traits dh found attractive. I also have a much easier time attracting friends and getting opportunities.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

I get so sick of hearing this (in general not from you) every other woman is allowed to have different emotions and reactions but AA our supposed to suppress our emotions. Maybe other women don't have an attitude maybe because they have MEN that are willing to stand up for them and they can be comforted in that.

 

[sweetvi]

Well I know of a BSS (a very large one to be exact) who is owned by an African family... I was very pleased to get advice from them on what product and hair to purchase. They seemed very knowledgeable and pleasant. So I know it is not impossible...money talks dear..

 

[Dposh167]

I'm not concerned with what Asian or white women do. I dont care how one is winning over the other either.

 

[auparavant]

IMO, Asian women seem to be beating "Becky" at her own game In general, Asian women are considered educated, strong-willed, very eligible marriage partners, etc. I would say black women are just as beautiful, successful, strong, educated, all those things but somehow we get stuck with the "unfeminine" or "mule" (i.e. we can take all manner of ill-treatment) or "difficult" label. I'm sure we've had the model minority discussion around here but how can black women continue to rise above labels and stereotypes? Is it possible? This isn't a "woe is me, I'm black and should hang it up thread." Rather, I'd like a discourse on what can strategies we can learn from others to stay in the game. Let's discuss

They can't because society has deemed Black as the mule, period. If Jesus were black, over 1/2 of humanity would reject him finally when he comes in glory and willingly go to hell. I'm being facetious, of course, but you get the drift. Disclaimer: I am not condemning anybody to hell or proselytizing...it is an example to describe the ridiculousness of racism.