What Are Some Of Your 1st Date Expectations?

[SurferBabe]

I like to hear women talk about dating and what they feel like makes a good date.

I'm not talking about an initial meetup (in the case of online dating). I'm talking about a legit first date where he is there to impress you.

How far in advance should the date be planned?

Does he pick you up, do you meet him, or do you taxi/uber? In the case of a taxi/uber, do you have him reimburse you? How so?

Do you expect flowers or a gift?

What type of restaurants are acceptable for you (full course, steakhouse, a neighborhood joint, etc...)? What about other first date activities?

BONUS: How do the 2nd and 3rd dates differ?

Spill it!

 

[PeaceLover]

A couple days in advance

I'm meeting him (I don't know him well enough lol)

I don't expect a gift, but he's paying

I'm not too picky on restaurants and long as it not fast-food

food and drinks are good for the first date

A good date is actually getting a chance to communicate and learn about each other. I don't like first dates like concerts or loud places where you can't talk (unless we're going somewhere afterwards)

I would prefer the following date to be an activity for us to do. Since I'm active something like rock climbing or a 5K (don't judge lol) but everyone isn't into that so a museum would be nice

 

[Godsdaughter001]

Before I got married, my first dates expectations were:
- I would meet him at wherever venue we chose. I did this because if I didn't know a guy that well, I didn't want him knowing where I lived in case he was crazy.

- I would expect him to pay for the date although I may have offered to go dutch to test him. None of the guys I dated ever let me pay for myself. Which is great.

I think the first date should be laid back and comfortable. I didn't expect flowers or gifts because we're trying to get to know one another. Although flowers is a nice gesture (as long as they aren't red).
As far as restaurants are concerned, no chain restaurants like Red Lobster or Olive Garden

One first date that I went on that was really cool was at the ESPN Zone. We ate lunch and had a great conversation, then we played video games and had a lot of fun. I didn't marry this guy, but we had fun on our date.

First date with my dh, we went on a lunch date at a very upscale and trendy restaurant (that he chose) on a weekday... that lasted 4 hours. Love connection!! He completely forgot about his job that day

 

[movingforward13]

First date- I meet him. I dont go anywhere without my car unless it just isn't feasible.

I offer to go Dutch because if we going out to eat- I am going to each whatever I want, so I don't mind paying for myself. If he insists then whatever. I don't care if it is chain restaurants or not but he gets points for choosing some place I never heard of but would try (I am picky with food).

Don't need any flowers or gifts- I do expect him to bring a good attitude and LAUGH. Answer my questions and let me pick his brain. Believe it or not, most guys I dated were so pressed to get the puss, they forgot dating is suppose to be fun. They treat it like a job interview or a name dropping session.

2nd and 3rd dates, I expect him to pay fully. By now I know him more to let him pick me up. I would love flowers but that isn't mandatory. No gifts- save those for special occasions. I don't care where we go but I am really impressed with a guy that thinks outside the box for dates. Something he has never done before and steps out his comfort zone.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

First dates should be planned a couple days to a week in advance. Since I don't know him well I'm driving to meet him or because I live in a major metropolitan area, the middle ground might be in an area where it's easier to take public transportation. Either way he's not knowing where I live just yet. I expect the date to pay but I may offer to go Dutch and all except one of the men I've been out with won't let me touch my wallet. I'm not really a gifts person, especially when first getting to know someone so no flowers necessary. I've gotten them though. For a first date it's most important for me to figure out if we vibe mentally so a place where we can talk. No major chain restaurants. Other than that I'm not picky.

I'm a Spartan now so I plan the second date which will be something that reflects my interests so a museum, event for one of the groups I belong to or something like that. He still pays for dinner.

Third date he plans and I expect it to be something that reflects his interests.

 

[julzinha]

I've learned that I'm a bougie hoe and I equate the quality of the first date to how much work a man feels like he has to put in to at least smash. If he takes me to a chain restaurant, he believes he's already got me and doesn't have to try. Instant block. If he puts some thought in I might consider even if it's a hole in the wall, not enough to smash though, that comes from how subsequent dates progress.

Also don't give the man any major signifiers on the first date like last name, place of work, or specific area of a city.

Also, I expect respect, if I feel an ounce of disrespect. Instant block.

 

[topsyturvy86]

The only expectation I have for a first date is that he picks up the bill! I'm traditional like that lol

With everything else, i'm pretty easy.. My first date with my SO was an ice cream in the park - it was a sunny day. We just had an ice cream, walked quite a bit, talked a lot, and then ended up at a pub after for a drink. He picked up the bill for the day, which was nice (albeit it cost probably less than £ 15 for the day for both of us , but it's the thought/ genteleman-ness that counts and not the amount spent)

I would never let a guy pay for my transport so I'm happy to take care of everything else.

2nd and 3rd date I'm happy to split or at least contribute to the date

 

[toaster]

Hmm. I've never been on a date with someone I wasn't friends with first. And by friends I mean we were friends for at least a year. So they picked me up for our first date (if they could, I mean in college my boyfriend and I lived in the same dorm so I probably just met him downstairs) and they paid, obviously.

Otherwise my expectations were probably skewed because we already knew each other. They were slightly awkward because we were contemplating taking a friendship to another level, but we had a great time.

Answering the questions with my current boyfriend in mind:

He came to my house and we uber ubered to a restaurant I'd never been before. It was a nice, trendy restaurant. We had drinks first and he was surprised I was drinking beer. He made sure we ordered dessert because that's my favorite part of any meal.

Afterwards we bar hopped for a while.

I didn't expect flowers because I don't like flowers (they die, do I carry them around for the whole date? I have an irrational fear that flowers carry bugs).

I didn't expect a gift because it was a first date.

Our second and third dates were similar. Dinner. Movies. Walking around downtown and shopping.

We've been dating for two years and I rarely pay for our dates unless I want to. He just went back to school full time and I work, but I just adjusted the type of restaurant we go to on our dates. He still pays.

 

[Damaris.Elle]

The date should be planned at least 2-3 days in advance.

I'll meet him at the place we're having our date for the 1st date and then if he seems cool and we decide to go out again, he can pick me up on the 3rd date. I'd rather not have a guy that I just met know where I live...in case he turns out to be crazy.

I don't expect a gift or flowers, but it'd be nice if he bought either/or/both. My SO bought flowers and a gift on our first date.

Since he was most likely the one who asked me on the date, I'd expect him to pay.
I agree with other posters that the first date should be laid-back and just about getting to know each other.

I like trendy, romantic restaurants. No Buffalo Wild Wings, no other sports bars.

In my opinion, going to the movies is not the best place to go on a first date. I guess it could be ok if you go to dinner or something before the movie then do some other type of activity that allows you to talk after the movie..but it's still not the best. The beach in the evening can actually be a nice place for a first date (as cheesy as that sounds LOL) you could bring food to eat. My SO and I went to the beach as part of our first date after we had lunch (this was on a Sunday and neither of us had work) we sat on the beach and talked for hours


I think for the 2nd and 3rd dates you can do activities that are more active and fun since you probably spent a lot of time talking on your 1st date. I think a hike could be fun or if you wanted to see a movie on the 2nd or 3rd date you could.

 

[LoveLiLi]

I like the date to be planned at least a week in advance. We can be more spontaneous down the line but I want the guy to know he has to plan - I'm not at his beck and call.

I like to meet my date at the venue although I'll sometimes make an exception. My current SO already had access to my personal info through work so it felt kind of useless to say he couldn't pick me up. Plus, I had family visiting me so I felt safe.

I don't expect flowers or a gift but my date gets extra points when he's thoughtful enough to bring them anyway. The men who have given me flowers, cards, bears etc. on a first date always stand out to me. I've had a couple of guys take me shopping to let me choose a gift on our first date and, although I consider that a nice gesture, I would be setting myself up for disappointment to make it an expectation.

I expect the restaurant to be trendy and upscale. He pays for everything. I'm not offering to pay the tip, tip the valet or pay for dessert if we stop at the ice cream shop. I'm not giving the impression that I'm Ms. Independent, 50/50 because that's not what I'm about. I like to go to art exhibits, shows, concerts or even hiking on subsequent dates but initially I want to talk and vibe and eat! I need to be fed no matter what our main activity is, lol.

2nd and 3rd dates we can shorten the planning stage, do things that are a bit more adventurous and farther away from home since I know the person a little better and won't feel like I'm stuck on a long date with someone who is boring. He can pick me up and drop me off and he's still paying. I'll pay for b-days (most of the time they don't even allow it), promotions and very rare surprises to make him feel special (usually a pizza place or something I consider cheap, lol). Generally, he shouldn't have the idea that I'll reach down in my purse to pay for anything.

 

[pinkness27]

I like that everyone is saying the date should be planned. Guys always tell me I'm not spontaneous/flexible enough. I don't do "let's meet today." No, plan something out, give me the specifics, and give me time to say yes or no.

 

[lavaflow99]

I like that everyone is saying the date should be planned. Guys always tell me I'm not spontaneous/flexible enough. I don't do "let's meet today." No, plan something out, give me the specifics, and give me time to say yes or no.

Yeah that spontaneity should be saved for an established BF in my opinion.