Lawd Jesus, Im bout to give this man some RIGHT NOW!!!

[calmsensual1]

If this sounds a bit racially superior its because this is a predominately AA message board...but there are all types of people who disrespect us (black women).

Hell, theres even whites on there who have infiltrated who say all kinds of harsh words. He was really the first person to talk about why he loved black women, in an interracial thread.

THATS why I appreciated it.

I'm not sure about the pineal gland stuff but he's in med school so I guess I'll just believe him.

And we're NOT together. We've just been seeing each other for a month.

Hell, I don't even know how to move this along to the relationship arena. can someone help?

Bunny? Where you at?!

LOL@ this turning into a help thread.

 

[PikiNiki]

and that's process...it takes time and maturity...to unlearn certain things and
to embrace others...I think this introspective guy will
I would guess...because he was bold enough to make a statement like this publicly
along the way he will be open to learning...more.
.....& that will naturally shift his perception to the parts...that are not as evolved.....
sometimes it's how we learn...
making a big bold gesture of love
even if not perfectly...



I'm not oblivious to the flaws..I just do not think they are germane to his essential
exhuberant message of love for black love..women...union
... is all...
Robert Redord said
you are only as good as you dare to be bad
this man's statement of love reminds me of that
That's what I need to applaud....

ETA
don't want to bump up..but
IF the post resonates or not... I think it somewhat
depends on who you are OR who you are NOT dating or involved or married to....
tho not everyone!

but I'd say....chances are
if one dates/marries strictly IR....that is... ONLY white men asian or latin or other ethnicty..
excluding black men....
that person more than likely is going to be highly critical with the details of the post
& disinterested in the message....and the man. {after all the message is counter IR..
the guy is not white} and so that person might be more inclined to attach a {negative} label to the man...

whereas if one dates/marries black men or date black men as well as IR.....
chances are that person is more likely going to look at the whole of the message...
at what's he attempting...and bypass the nuance,because the intent
however executed.....is so obviously trying hard and joyfully to be affirmative

I think there's probably more a dividing line along that premise

IMHO

Very well said

 

[Bunny77]

If this sounds a bit racially superior its because this is a predominately AA message board...but there are all types of people who disrespect us (black women).

Hell, theres even whites on there who have infiltrated who say all kinds of harsh words. He was really the first person to talk about why he loved black women, in an interracial thread.

THATS why I appreciated it.

I'm not sure about the pineal gland stuff but he's in med school so I guess I'll just believe him.

And we're NOT together. We've just been seeing each other for a month.

Hell, I don't even know how to move this along to the relationship arena. can someone help?

Bunny? Where you at?!

LOL@ this turning into a help thread.

I'z here!

Well in terms of moving this forward, has he even brought up talk of an exclusive relationship at all?

(And uh, I'm not a medical student and I know the pineal gland exists, but I don't think his statement about it and black people is all that scientific... but what do I know? )

 

[MuseofTroy]

Why is that some women get upset that brothas ain't dating black women, then when you have a brotha taking a stand and saying why he only wants to date us. Some Black women get upset behind his reasoning call it offensive, etc.? I dont' get it. Brothas are damned if they do date us and damned if they don't LOL.

I personally don't care who black men date. My life isn't impacted by who Black men date. I'm not big on extremes either. Just live your life. You don't have to put "extras" on everything that you do. If you love Black women then kudos to you. But all the extras aren't necessary. Besides I pay attention to a man's actions, not his words. This man can talk about how much he loves Black women and at the same time be a player or have a bunch of kids out of wedlock. Or he might be a really nice guy. I don't know him but I don't get excited over some random from the internet that's for sure.

 

[topsyturvy86]

just my opinion, stone me if you will...

sorry but this to me is garbage! these are his reasonings for dating black women?!?!?

*melanin , whatever he was sayin in example 2 , brown skin, having rythm (i know a few dudes with hella rythm that can't fk for shyt), number 5 i can understand, so white bytches will be skurred when they go out , and yea he feels like voltron...

so no where in there does he say that he dates black women because we are beautiful, intelligent, caring, loving, strong...i mean the list of adjectives can go on for miles...but these are his reasons?!?!

sorry but

NUGGA PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

ETA: i could give a fudge either way whether someone is into black or white, but damn if u are all about dating in ur race can u please come up with some better in depth reasonin than that ****?!?! thanks!

The bolded are my feelings exactly! But as has been said, OP is the one in a relationship with him and if this/he makes her happy, that's all that matters really.

 

[MuseofTroy]

I'm not surpised why women get played left and right. If all a man has to do is have a good mouth piece and he's in, then ladies we have tons of work to do. Are Black women really that simple where a few words win us over? What about the guy's history and his actions? Yeah I need people to do better and not be so naiive.

 

[PikiNiki]

If this sounds a bit racially superior its because this is a predominately AA message board...but there are all types of people who disrespect us (black women).

Hell, theres even whites on there who have infiltrated who say all kinds of harsh words. He was really the first person to talk about why he loved black women, in an interracial thread.

THATS why I appreciated it.

I'm not sure about the pineal gland stuff but he's in med school so I guess I'll just believe him.

And we're NOT together. We've just been seeing each other for a month.

Hell, I don't even know how to move this along to the relationship arena. can someone help?

Bunny? Where you at?!

LOL@ this turning into a help thread.

No need really to critically pick this apart, especially since it was done in the context of an interracial thread where whites were spewing harsh words about blacks. Sounds like the brotha's intentions should far outweigh "political correctness" and "scientific soundness," especially in a culture where we're constantly under attack, even by our own.

 

[calmsensual1]

I'z here!

Well in terms of moving this forward, has he even brought up talk of an exclusive relationship at all?

(And uh, I'm not a medical student and I know the pineal gland exists, but I don't think his statement about it and black people is all that scientific... but what do I know? )

*thinking* No, he hasnt.

I'll give you some background. The first date was very tragic as in, his car broke down on the side of the road at 2:30am tragic. But it was nice because it seemed we had 5 dates in 1 in that I was able to see how he reacts in different situations. How strong and calm he is in events such as this and etc etc.

So he ended up spending the night at my house and has done so ever since then. Bad move, I know. And I've spent the night at his house, also.

He's said things like "You're what Im looking for" "They dont make em like you anymore" tells me "He misses me" and all of that. But no, no relationship talk.
He's also made plans for the future, he's invited me to his homecoming at morehouse in october, has invited me to Dallas where he's from.

Also, the other night we were talking and he was like "How would you feel if I got diamonds in my mouth" *I answered* and then he said "Because when I start my residency, I want to get some." He still has 3 more years of med school...so I dont know what that question meant, you know?

I do know that he's into being friends first. So maybe I just need to play it cool? I'm bad at this dating stuff.

 

[MuseofTroy]

No need really to critically pick this apart, especially since it was done in the context of an interracial thread where whites were spewing harsh words about blacks. Sounds like the brotha's intentions should far outweigh "political correctedness" and "scientific soundness," especially in a culture where we're constantly under attack, even by our own.

Well his comments weren't that flattering in my opinion. All the traits he spoke of were either offensive, superficial, or just down right lame. Like I said, I don't need another group of women to get disrespected for me to feel better about myself.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

When I first read it I thought the guy was white and it didn't sit well with me then I realized he was black and it STILL doesn't sit well with me. He seems a bit extreme.

I've met a guy just like this in college and guess what he dated white women secretly and was all about black women in public. It was weird....

 

[FlawedBeauty]

sooooo ya'll r not doin the booty doo?? lol i mean to be sleeping over at someones house everyday since the first meeting is beyond friends first IMO.

*
I do know that he's into being friends first. So maybe I just need to play it cool? I'm bad at this dating stuff.

 

[PikiNiki]

This guy's intentions are entirely another issue. The OP was about a message he typed in an interracial thread. EVERY woman should select carefully, and elect to weed through the nonsense with common sense. Each has a responsibility to themselves to play it smart, and time will ultimately tell if he's a winner, not the details of OP. Nonetheless, I understand why she at least found that single instance "refreshing."

 

[Bunny77]

*thinking* No, he hasnt.

I'll give you some background. The first date was very tragic as in, his car broke down on the side of the road at 2:30am tragic. But it was nice because it seemed we had 5 dates in 1 in that I was able to see how he reacts in different situations. How strong and calm he is in events such as this and etc etc.

So he ended up spending the night at my house and has done so ever since then. Bad move, I know. And I've spent the night at his house, also.

He's said things like "You're what Im looking for" "They dont make em like you anymore" tells me "He misses me" and all of that. But no, no relationship talk.
He's also made plans for the future, he's invited me to his homecoming at morehouse in october, has invited me to Dallas where he's from.

Also, the other night we were talking and he was like "How would you feel if I got diamonds in my mouth" *I answered* and then he said "Because when I start my residency, I want to get some." He still has 3 more years of med school...so I dont know what that question meant, you know?

I do know that he's into being friends first. So maybe I just need to play it cool? I'm bad at this dating stuff.

Oookay... well, I don't get much here that says that he is looking for a serious, committed relationship. I'm not saying that he isn't, but what you've posted doesn't give me that impression. Him asking about getting diamonds really shouldn't be interpreted as asking about the future... that question really meant nothing.

(And ugh, that sounds majorly immature... really? A grown man going to med school wanting to get diamonds in his mouth? TURN OFF!)

Now, about being friends first... I think that's a great idea. But I always wonder whenever I hear men say they want to be friends first... do they really mean it? And what is their definition of "friends?" They want to be "friends," but they want some benefits too... please don't end up doing that.

Okay, the plans to go to Dallas and Morehouse and all... those are positive signs, but it's VERY early right now. A lot of men like to talk about the future and where they're going to take you and all, but when they are talking about things that are MONTHS in advance, I don't take them seriously until I see that our relationship is getting stronger and stronger and THEN when the time comes, we can talk about going to Dallas or to homecoming.

Girl, I have been invited on so many trips "down the road" that never happened and dude conveniently "forgot" they brought it up when they decided later that "they didn't want a relationship."

If you truly are trying to play it cool, then you need to stop sleeping at his place and vice versa. You need to set some boundaries, because right now, you're on a slippery slope with a dude who isn't making any moves to make you his girlfriend.

I'm just saying... pay close attention here... you're falling hard and fast with little guarantee here...

 

[FlawedBeauty]

well if this is the case he makes a horrible argument for why it is ideal to only date black women. his reasons were pure garbage and probably just validated all those white ppl talkin ****. it may as well have said i date black women cuz lacresha and dem can fk real good and dey know how to get **** poppin if a whyte bytch eva came out her mouf wrong

No need really to critically pick this apart, especially since it was done in the context of an interracial thread where whites were spewing harsh words about blacks. Sounds like the brotha's intentions should far outweigh "political correctedness" and "scientific soundness," especially in a culture where we're constantly under attack, even by our own.

 

[kayte]

I personally don't care who black men date. My life isn't impacted by who Black men date.

and you disqualify yourself from a fair assesement of his post
because by your own admission you are biased against black men
so no credibilty with the above post

ironically
.the VERY thing this man is being accused ...
the rhetoric against him is MORE virulent than anything he said.....

but you know whatever..
sigh
BIG S..................I...............G.............H

 

[calmsensual1]

Thank you so much Bunny!

The good thing is, I'm going out of town for a few weeks soon. So this will probably fizzle out anyway.

And no coloring has gone on yet. FYI. Not even close.

 

[calmsensual1]

I don't understand why y'all cant just let him be great.

 

[PikiNiki]

well if this is the case he makes a horrible argument for why it is ideal to only date black women. his reasons were pure garbage and probably just validated all those white ppl talkin ****. it may as well have said i date black women cuz lacresha and dem can fk real good and dey know how to get **** poppin if a whyte bytch eva came out her mouf wrong

Maybe he's not intellectually strong enough to make the arguement as the next person would elect to do (myself included). However, it really isn't THAT serious. Maybe he did the best HE could within the capacity of HIS ability to communicate HIS appreciation for black women.

 

[Bunny77]

I don't understand why y'all cant just let him be great.

I guess the answer to that would be that some people don't believe that list he made makes him great.



Personally, I don't spend much time on message boards where black women are being ripped anyway... most of those people are ignorant time wasters that are better left alone... let the real black woman lovers go off and spend their time loving black women!

Edited to add: I don't think the list makes him bad either. But I don't think anyone needs to "let him be great." I do hope your standard for greatness is not measured on words someone writes on an Internet screen...

 

[MuseofTroy]

and you disqualify yourself from a fair assesement of his post
because by your own admission you are biased against black men
so no credibilty with the above post

ironically
.the VERY thing this man is being accused ...
the rhetoric against him is MORE virulent than anything he said.....

but you know whatever..
sigh
BIG S..................I...............G.............H

Who said I'm biased against Black men? Maybe I should rephrase my statement: My life really isn't impacted by who ANYONE dates. I date quality men. Most of the men I've dated have been Black. However if those men had a preference for another type of woman, I really wouldn't care. My life doesn't stop. I don't get caught up in getting all up in arms over someone's dating preference/choices these days.

 

[MuseofTroy]

I don't understand why y'all cant just let him be great.

Because none if us, including you don't know him well enough to say that he is great. You've dated him for what? A month now....Come back in six months and tell us how everything went. I hope he does turn out to be a great guy for your sake. You seem to like him.

 

[dicapr]

and that's process...it takes time and maturity...to unlearn certain things and
to embrace others...I think this introspective guy will
I would guess...because he was bold enough to make a statement like this publicly
along the way he will be open to learning...more.
.....& that will naturally shift his perception to the parts...that are not as evolved.....
sometimes it's how we learn...
making a big bold gesture of love
even if not perfectly...



{{ I'm not oblivious to the flaws..I just do not think they are germane to his essential exhuberant message of love for black love..women...union... is all...}}


Robert Redord said
you are only as good as you dare to be bad
this man's statement of love reminds me of that
That's what I need to applaud....

ETA
don't want to bump up..but
IF the post resonates or not... I think it somewhat
depends on who you are OR who you are NOT dating or involved or married to....
tho not everyone!

but I'd say....chances are
if one dates/marries strictly IR....that is... ONLY white men asian or latin or other ethnicty..
excluding black men....
that person more than likely is going to be highly critical with the details of the post
& disinterested in the message....and the man. {after all the message is counter IR..
the guy is not white} and so that person might be more inclined to attach a {negative} label to the man...and reject the post

whereas if one dates/marries black men or date black men as well as IR.....
chances are that person is more likely going to look at the whole of the message...
at what's he attempting...and bypass the nuance,because the intent
however executed.....is so obviously trying hard and joyfully to be affirmative
and would be likely more accepting



I think there's probably more a dividing line along that premise
IMHO

Um, no the the parts in red. The main complaint is that many of the reasons he gave for dating blk women were stereotypical. I enjoy and prefer blk men, however, I am coming to realize they are just as fortunate that I give the time of day as I am that they are interested in me. They don't get a free pass just because they want to date black women.

 

[PikiNiki]

Well his comments weren't that flattering in my opinion. All the traits he spoke of were either offensive, superficial, or just down right lame. Like I said, I don't need another group of women to get disrespected for me to feel better about myself.

I think the OP would've appreciated this had he decided to omit #6 altogether. My guess would be that the OP doesn't feel better about herself merely as a result of him referring to a white woman as a b****. It probably didn't even register in the scope of her reading his post as much as his peceived intentions to defend black women. Certainly, picking this apart, we can ALL come up with things he could've rephrased, or better yet, not even said at all. But really, is there so much harm here? There are FAR too many brothas doing FAR too many truely legitimate things to us to consititute just a fraction of the "outrage" of this post.

 

[PikiNiki]

On an entirely different note, I think that the OP should command this guy (and everyone) to seriously step their game up. The bar/criteria should certainly be raised to have any expectation at all of quality person/relationship. Notice I did say "command," because this will ultimately be dictated by her actions, standards, and expectations. The entire notion of basing anything on such limited and superficial conversation and time spent could be dissastrous.

 

[sunflower]

I think his post lacked tact on the other hand the post was refreshing. I have read worse coming from black men who would not look at a black woman.

 

[princessnad]

Keep your eyes very OPEN OP.

 

[kayte]

My life really isn't impacted by who ANYONE dates

.
yeah..I hear ya.....then...that's very different

Um, no the the parts in red. The main complaint is that many of the reasons he gave for dating blk women were stereotypical. I enjoy and prefer blk men, however, I am coming to realize they are just as fortunate that I give the time of day as I am that they are interested in me. They don't get a free pass just because they want to date black women.

nobody should get a free pass! who says he is?
I just think there is an overeaction .....
to his attempts to do something kind of cool
but that's fine..I still think the lines are split
racially in terms of romantic preferences

I mean ..wow....he's not burning buildings and picketing
this is a MED student ..LOL

Um, no the the parts in red

yup. the post reads......

I think it somewhat depends on who you are OR
who you are NOT dating or involved or married to....
tho not everyone...but I'd say....chances are if one dates/marries strictly IR....
etc etc

as I already said..I still stand by that

 

[MissYocairis]

*thinking* No, he hasnt.

I'll give you some background. The first date was very tragic as in, his car broke down on the side of the road at 2:30am tragic. But it was nice because it seemed we had 5 dates in 1 in that I was able to see how he reacts in different situations. How strong and calm he is in events such as this and etc etc.

So he ended up spending the night at my house and has done so ever since then. Bad move, I know. And I've spent the night at his house, also.

He's said things like "You're what Im looking for" "They dont make em like you anymore" tells me "He misses me" and all of that. But no, no relationship talk.
He's also made plans for the future, he's invited me to his homecoming at morehouse in october, has invited me to Dallas where he's from.

Also, the other night we were talking and he was like "How would you feel if I got diamonds in my mouth" *I answered* and then he said "Because when I start my residency, I want to get some." He still has 3 more years of med school...so I dont know what that question meant, you know?

I do know that he's into being friends first. So maybe I just need to play it cool? I'm bad at this dating stuff.

I hope you haven't been colouring with him yet. Take it slow and see how he behaves.

 

[kayte]

Originally Posted by calmsensual1
I don't understand why y'all cant just let him be great.

there's an old saying ..you don't go to the hardware store for oranges

You are mixing orange groves with a chain of tools....
so..getting a navel orange here and florida tree ripened there
and a claw hammer there and ten inch nails there
different strokes different opinions..different experiences

 

[DragonPearl]

I thought what he said was cute, not PC but still cute. I think some of us may be splitting hair a lil too much. I wonder if the brothers would have had their boxers in a bunch if the same list had been made by a black woman talking about why she dates black men. I think they would have loved it...