Were you ever someone's mistress?

Have you ever been someon's mistress

  • No

    Votes: 102 71.8%

  • Yes

    Votes: 31 21.8%

  • It's complicated...he was separated, etc.

    Votes: 11 7.7%
  • Total voters
    142
  • Poll closed .
MissJ said:
I've never been a mistress, but I was contemplating going on a date with a guy. He turned out to be married, but I didn't know. I wouldn't expect a person to be married and flirting with me the way that he did. He also did not wear a ring. I only found out when I googled his name hoping to find a facebook page or something. The first thing that popped up was a record of his marriage. He had been married for almost a year when he started pursuing me. In my opinion, he never intended to be faithful to his wife if he was cheating that early in the marriage. He was also very stupid, because we had mutual friends. The mutual friends also invited me to stay at their house any time I was in town, and he was their neighbor! His business was located near the place where I worked. There's no way that either his wife or I wouldn't have found out what he was doing if I did decide to start dating him.
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My experience was similar. I wasn't really interested in dating anyone when he approached me, but he seemed nice. We were just doing friendly texting every now and then and the occasional short conversation on the phone. That's really all there was since I wasn't really interested and I was in the middle of a semester at school. Every time we talked he would ask to take me out to the movies or dinner or lunch but I was always busy. Just when I considered going out on a date with him, this fool changed his Facebook status to married because he had JUST tied the knot. Based on the date, he had gotten married sometime during the short time he had kept asking me out on dates, which he asked again after the update (didn't bother responding). He didn't wear an engagement ring and she wasn't on his FB page (even when he updated he didn't add her name). I read the comments from the people congratulating him, including the friend that was right by his side the day he asked for my number. :rolleyes:

I'm glad I was too focused on school and didn't give myself a social life outside of my family, I don't have time for drama and liars.

I guess he thought he wouldn't get caught since they live about 2 hours away; however we ended up having two mutual FB friends who probably would have told me something if they did see/hear him flirting. :ohwell:
 
This is one of the VERY FEW things I hate about LHCF. No one can be open and honest about themselves due to the LHCFBI. You elephants remember everything and have NO problem with using it against them in a confrontation!

 
I met this dude online and we started talking on the phone. He told me about his Childs mother and how he couldn't be with her cause she was crazy, etc.

One day he messages me an is being super 'polite' and formal. No flirting,etc. I thought it was weird but didn't trip on it.

Come to find out it was his girlfriend acting like him. She just came out and started asking me questions so I told her everything I could remember.

She confronted him and then called me. I told her I was sorry, but that he denied being with her and even said she was crazy.

She said that he admitted to flirting with me but it was nothing more. I told her that he invited me to visit him ( but I declined cause I was too shy to do that kinda stuff).

She was hurt, but I could tell they were gonna stay together.

That opened my eyes to how men can lie for the sake of entertaining themselves with a new woman's attention.
 
I said no, but its amazing what you can put into the "forgotten memories" part of your brain. This may be considered "potential sidepiece"

But anyways a guy was courting me hard. Pursued and pursued me. I finally let him take me out once. We shared passionate kisses. Nothing too serious. But I was going to "give up my virginity" to this clone of Tyrese....

Anyhoo I get this phone call from a chick saying she was the girlfriend. I was like "okay". I didn't know he had a GF, he didn't say. She was like Oh well I found your # in his pocket. I was like okay well yeah he was just over here (I was horrible..still in HS...feeling myself), why are you calling me? She just was like, well I just wanted you to know...I'm like, well you need to keep a leash on him. Then we spoke for an additional 15-20 minutes about how we met, how he kept coming by my house, calling, pursuing me...I asked how old she was, and she was like I'm 21....And I knew he was 20. She asked me how old I was and I was only like 16 at the time....then she flipped her lid....I just hung up while she went to go get him.....

Glad I didn't give up the goodies looking back.

But
 
SelahOco said:
I met this dude online and we started talking on the phone. He told me about his Childs mother and how he couldn't be with her cause she was crazy, etc.

One day he messages me an is being super 'polite' and formal. No flirting,etc. I thought it was weird but didn't trip on it.

Come to find out it was his girlfriend acting like him. She just came out and started asking me questions so I told her everything I could remember.

She confronted him and then called me. I told her I was sorry, but that he denied being with her and even said she was crazy.

She said that he admitted to flirting with me but it was nothing more. I told her that he invited me to visit him ( but I declined cause I was too shy to do that kinda stuff).

She was hurt, but I could tell they were gonna stay together.

That opened my eyes to how men can lie for the sake of entertaining themselves with a new woman's attention.
Click to expand...

This is so true. Entertainment for them, sorrow for the woman who got emotionally involved as well as the woman he was already with. These men win anyway because many of these women stay.
 
naturalgyrl5199 said:
I said no, but its amazing what you can put into the "forgotten memories" part of your brain. This may be considered "potential sidepiece"

But anyways a guy was courting me hard. Pursued and pursued me. I finally let him take me out once. We shared passionate kisses. Nothing too serious. But I was going to "give up my virginity" to this clone of Tyrese....

Anyhoo I get this phone call from a chick saying she was the girlfriend. I was like "okay". I didn't know he had a GF, he didn't say. She was like Oh well I found your # in his pocket. I was like okay well yeah he was just over here (I was horrible..still in HS...feeling myself), why are you calling me? She just was like, well I just wanted you to know...I'm like, well you need to keep a leash on him. Then we spoke for an additional 15-20 minutes about how we met, how he kept coming by my house, calling, pursuing me...I asked how old she was, and she was like I'm 21....And I knew he was 20. She asked me how old I was and I was only like 16 at the time....then she flipped her lid....I just hung up while she went to go get him.....

Glad I didn't give up the goodies looking back.

But
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Did you say Tyrese look a like? Oh well then it was okay. Go look him up and :blondboob
 
DrC said:
Now I understand why that member here made a thread suggestion about having an incognito feature.
This would be the perfect time.

You will NEVER hear a woman on here confess being a mistress. With all the UE Unicorns around here who piss glitter and can never do any wrong, no one here is going to admit to their faults. :rofl:
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Not true.

This isn't the first thread about this.
 
technically no. :look:

I have "dated" men I knew were married, but I've never had sex with a married man.

Nope, I didn't GAF they were married. I enjoyed the conversation, light affection and time spent, no regrets. I learned a lot. I see how some women fall in love with married men. In many ways they better boyfriends than single men. Marriage usually improves & upgrades men overall. Having a wife exposes their emotional vulnerability & humbles their ego :look:
 
barbiesocialite said:
technically no. :look:

I have "dated" men I knew were married, but I've never had sex with a married man.

Nope, I didn't GAF they were married. I enjoyed the conversation, light affection and time spent, no regrets. I learned a lot. I see how some women fall in love with married men. In many ways they better boyfriends than single men. Marriage usually improves & upgrades men overall. Having a wife exposes their emotional vulnerability & humbles their ego :look:
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I sort of agree. Men who are already in relationships have a bit of training so to speak. They also tend to be on their P's and Q's more so than single men. I think it goes with the whole fantasy of being with someone else.
 
Mai Tai said:
FlyyBohemian

Gurrrl! You will be surprised how many of the men's families are in on the joke.

One of the women that I know who was an unwilling-mistress ended up becoming best friends with her "fiance's" sister. I mean they were tight, and she NEVER told my friend that her brother (my friend's "fiance") was actually married AND still living with his wife and kids.

My friend went to family functions, traveled with the sister, and everything and not one person told her. When the sh-t hit the fan, she ended the friendship with the sister, and had to deal with the wife who started stalking her. This man was well on his way to having 2 lives.

The whole time she is telling me the story, my jaw was seriously on the floor. I told her she needs to write a book and make some money...
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That's so sad.
 
Yes and unknowingly. I asked him about it in the beginning, but I could never find any definitive proof i.e marriage license, wedding pics but I put things together (after some deep digging on the internet). To this day I'm sure if I showed him wedding pictures he would deny it to the end, like he did when I asked him. He pursued me for awhile before I even gave him a chance and being that we lived in a different cities I guess it made it easier for him. He also lied about his profession - he's a well known pastor in his denomination smdh - which he later admitted to but never fessed up to being married. This was almost 4 years ago and I still want to bust him so bad to this day but feel bad for his wife, especially being that they have a small child (which he also denied). I don't know how she couldn't suspect but I hope he's not still cheating. BTW I don't care who remembers this. Trust your instincts ladies!
 
sky_blu said:
Yes and unknowingly. I asked him about it in the beginning, but I could never find any definitive proof i.e marriage license, wedding pics but I put things together (after some deep digging on the internet). To this day I'm sure if I showed him wedding pictures he would deny it to the end, like he did when I asked him. He pursued me for awhile before I even gave him a chance and being that we lived in a different cities I guess it made it easier for him. He also lied about his profession - he's a well known pastor in his denomination smdh - which he later admitted to but never fessed up to being married. This was almost 4 years ago and I still want to bust him so bad to this day but feel bad for his wife, especially being that they have a small child (which he also denied). I don't know how she couldn't suspect but I hope he's not still cheating. BTW I don't care who remembers this. Trust your instincts ladies!
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Um...... so who is the pastor???
 
Yes, unknowingly.. Then knowingly with the same guy a year later. Is it technically a mistress if he's not married? When I didn't know he was with his child's mother all I was told was she was pregnant and he only involved himself with her to do right by his baby, little did I know they were not only together but living together. Then a yr later him n his baby mama were no longer together but he had a new gf. We rekindled n one thing led to another. Idk y I couldn't resist him.
 
Arian said:
In high school....does that count?
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If you didn't know...I did, however, have a classmate who admitted to knowingly flirting with married men. We were in high school, but she acted and looked older than I do even ten years later. She apparently got a kick out of it:perplexed.
 
I recently went out on a date with a married man. My unobservant arse took an hour into dinner to notice the wedding band he wore. I was like " you're married!?". He answered nonchalantly "yes..24 years". That was the last outing and he was trying to be my sugar daddy.
 
Come on ladies..no one wants to read about being the mistress unknowingly. Who here has been with a married man and known about it?

I wish there was an incog button here.
 
My sister has been screwing a married man for a few years. The wife knows about it and shes been with him for over 10 years. They have a lot of children together. My sister is bold..she even went to the mans house..the wife asked her why she is there and what she wanted.

I asked her point blank, why are you screwing a married man? She said that the wife pursued him when he was married..why can't she? I knew then that my sister was dumb. He dosent even pay her bills.....quite delusional. I know the man, and as long as he has his cake and eats it too, hes not accommodating anyone.
 
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No, but.... Long story short, meet him at office building. He used to spy on my (very very shy). Never looked me in the eye, but didn't pass up a chance look at me or look for me. Saw the ring on his finger (backed up). Googled him, and saw his wedding was in the news- sort of. Found out he comes from a family of celebrities-he used to be a top model back in the early 2000's.
 
Nope, and not judging those who had, but when a man has a gf/wife, there are signs (red flags) he's not single. One of the biggest signs is he controls the times and dates you can see/talk to him. He has to make sure his home base is taken care of first and not knowing he's cheating. A truly single man would tell you to call him anytime, and make plans spontaneous as well as planned. Another sign is you never see him on the weekends, that's because that's family time and you can't interfere with that.
 
allmundjoi said:
That's all you're going to give us TopShelf?
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Too long and too many details. People will be asking a million questions and throwing stones at the same time....lol

Both of us were looking for what we were lacking in our own lives/relationships. We fell for one another, he more than me and I decided to move on since it was not going anywhere.
 
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TopShelf said:
Too long and too many details. People will be asking a million questions and throwing stones at the same time....lol

Both of us were looking for what we were lacking in our own lives/relationships. We fell for one another, he more than me and I decided to move on since it was not going anywhere.
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You know what? People are going to judge. They will throw stones. But it doesn't matter. They weren't in your situation. It's real easy to pass judgement when you haven't faced a particular decision. I've learned that you can never say never. Everybody judging you will be judged themselves one day. *** em.
 
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