T.O. says the women he dates don't wear scarfs to bed

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

As far as my experience, "exotic" is a general term used for non-WASP women, anybody of Mediterranean, Latin American, African (non-U.S. Blacks, & mostly E. or N. African) or Oriental heritage. There are others like Tahitians...any Polynesians, Melanesians etc. If you look at it, it's the "majority" of the world population lol. Just anybody who has other than White Anglo-Saxon looks. The reason I said non-U.S. Blacks is that I've never heard of American Blacks categorized as "exotic." If you have more Middle-eastern looks, then, yes, you would be categorized as "exotic." Things change, though.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

My SO doesn't care. In fact when we visit I help him tie on his own doo rag (he has dreads) so we can match!

 

[runwaydream]

hmm... well i guess i cant get mad at him for actin brand new when some blk women on this board are actin the exact same way

 

[gabulldawg]

hmm... well i guess i cant get mad at him for actin brand new when some blk women on this board are actin the exact same way

I'm sittin here like :scratchch

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Jessica White is nothing exotic....she is from Buffalo and she is as hood as they come, and has had work done. Very beautiful but thats about it.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

This thread has had me in tears!

You know, DH isn't in love with my headscarf (AND I use a satin pillowcase as well. I need double protection!) but he knows he had better not utter one word about it. B/C there are things about him I'm not in love with either, and if I am feeling some type of way I will tell him... his athlete's foot is not hot. His breathe is enough to slay a tribe of Vikings in the a.m., his hair looks like Goku from Dragonball Z in the morning, AND he snores like a freight train.

So he better cope with the scarf and LOVE it.

And T.O. needs his tail beat, trying to act brand new.

 

[growth2come]

My BF knows the deal when it comes to the scarf....I dont think he minds it anyway....if anything he would want me to start wearing the hijab(thats another story)...its never disturbed the colouring sessions even when my scarf is about to fall off...

 

[LadyPaniolo]

DH ripped off my scarf during coloring once, after it was over I told him NEVER do that again. I'm not trying to get splits. If it's good without the scarf, it's good with it too. Close your eyes if you don't want to see it, shoot.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

What is that? is this negro serious??? Puhlease!! I happen to still look pretty damn good with my scarf on..I have three pretty ones that I rotate and my british white SO has never said anything that stupid. My scarf is sort of comforting to me I like wearing it from time to time and everytime when I sleep (except during relations ) As long as its pretty I dont see the big deal though I also come from a place where it is common place for ladies to wear pretty scarves even during the day time as fashion.

 

[Menina Preta]

For those who don't wear scarves and wear straight styles, how do you keep your hair from tangling? Do you at least pin curl or wrap it?

I grew up with a mom who wore scarves. I wear one. My SO's mom didn't, so I had to train him to accept the scarf. I told him either I look crazy for 7-8 hours at night or I look crazy all day with messed up hair.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

For those who don't wear scarves and wear straight styles, how do you keep your hair from tangling? Do you at least pin curl or wrap it?

I grew up with a mom who wore scarves. I wear one. My SO's mom didn't, so I had to train him to accept the scarf. I told him either I look crazy for 7-8 hours at night or I look crazy all day with messed up hair.

I used a jaw clip. I find that when I wear a scarf with straight hair it would be slightly frizzy by the am because of the sweat and heat trapped in from the scarf. So I went and bought a silk pillow case and my hair held up great.

 

[Transformer]

For 49 1/2 years I did absolutely nothing...of course for about 10 years I wore a 1 inch afro. I recently sewed some silk pillowcases. I'm just not into the look at bedtime. I devote a lot of energy to bedwear-all 100% cotton or bamboo. DH's only requirement is that they are short....real short! My nighties end up somewhere and I'm sure a head scarf would follow.

I honestly never knew the purpose of wearing one and still not sure how it protects a hairstyle. It's just one of those things that mom never taught!

 

[NeeSee]

I know plenty of black women that don't cover the hair at night. What's the big deal?

Thank you and I know plenty of black men who are in relationships with black women who don't care for them to wear scarfs to bed because they don't like the way it looks. If that's Terrell's preference then it's his preference.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

T. O is a jerk. Like he's never seen a woman with a scarf on before bed. Not impressed! Maybe he's never been with a black woman?

 

[Naturallong81]

i cant believe that this is a 15 pg discussion. tellem' why u mad lhcf lol. this is obviously a scripted show full of characters. nothing is gonna be deep and thought provocing, but whats the problem with what he said. is it that his publisist said that he need to stop dating exotic women? is it that we know what his ex looks like? is it the footy pjs? or that he was looking at her like whats that?
i didnt know it was in the hand book that all black women wore scarfs. and i dont care how fancy or pretty your scarf is it aint sexy.
just like i anit never slept with a man with back hair, or who wore a doorag, or a fitted. its prefrence.

and black women are exotic even the regular ones from the US who were scarfs.

 

[SuchMagnificent]

I wear a scarf to bed FAITHFULLY, if I make a trip to bedroom without it, SO is like "Hold up, where yo scarf at" because he know if I dont, my hair will be all in his face when we sleep. He wears a doo-rag and I think its quite sexy on him. The scarf comes off when we are "coloring" but it goes right back on after that. Its the best protective style a relaxed woman can have going to bed and I will not be without it. I dont care who he is, after we become official, the scarf comes out to play.

 

[Menina Preta]

Thank you and I know plenty of black men who are in relationships with black women who don't care for them to wear scarfs to bed because they don't like the way it looks. If that's Terrell's preference then it's his preference.

Ya, but it's kinda a jerky one, IMO. It's like if he prefers women in heels and expects you to wear them 24/7, b/c he doesn't care for the way flats look. Or if he prefers for you to wear short skirts all the time...I just feel like men always have 50-11 preferences for what we should and shouldn't wear, whereas with them we kinda let them get away with a whole lot of slovenliness, in general. I don't think scarves are 'sexy,' but damn do I have to be sexy 24/7 for my man? I feel like they don't put nearly as much thought in maintaining their sexy for us, so...

 

[CheLala13]

Hmm...maybe "ya'll" don't look cute in a scarf, but I sure do. And my baby tells me almost every day.

I would also "prefer" if my SO smelled like he fresh out the shower every moment of the day, but after a long day of mowing the lawn and taking care of business...that's not always going to happen either.

 

[NeeSee]

Ya, but it's kinda a jerky one, IMO. It's like if he prefers women in heels and expects you to wear them 24/7, b/c he doesn't care for the way flats look. Or if he prefers for you to wear short skirts all the time...I just feel like men always have 50-11 preferences for what we should and shouldn't wear, whereas with them we kinda let them get away with a whole lot of slovenliness, in general. I don't think scarves are 'sexy,' but damn do I have to be sexy 24/7 for my man? I feel like they don't put nearly as much thought in maintaining their sexy for us, so...

You are so right and I totally agree with you. I think a lot of the reason so many men are this way is because there are so many women willing to comply to their every demand.

 

[MD_Lady]

Ya, but it's kinda a jerky one, IMO. It's like if he prefers women in heels and expects you to wear them 24/7, b/c he doesn't care for the way flats look. Or if he prefers for you to wear short skirts all the time...I just feel like men always have 50-11 preferences for what we should and shouldn't wear, whereas with them we kinda let them get away with a whole lot of slovenliness, in general. I don't think scarves are 'sexy,' but damn do I have to be sexy 24/7 for my man? I feel like they don't put nearly as much thought in maintaining their sexy for us, so...

You are so right and I totally agree with you. I think a lot of the reason so many men are this way is because there are so many women willing to comply to their every demand.

One thank you was not enough. I'm all for couples doing things to appeal to one another, but a lot of women take the word 'no' out of their vocabulary and then :scratchch and when their man acts like everything is about him.

 

[Cxshortie]

My DH does not care, he knows why I do it and is used to me doing it too.

 

[anon123]

Ya, but it's kinda a jerky one, IMO. It's like if he prefers women in heels and expects you to wear them 24/7, b/c he doesn't care for the way flats look. Or if he prefers for you to wear short skirts all the time...I just feel like men always have 50-11 preferences for what we should and shouldn't wear, whereas with them we kinda let them get away with a whole lot of slovenliness, in general. I don't think scarves are 'sexy,' but damn do I have to be sexy 24/7 for my man? I feel like they don't put nearly as much thought in maintaining their sexy for us, so...

I know. It's like we are supposed to look sexier for them when we're asleep than they do for us when they're awake! oh well. I know some men are visual, but so am I and I get my visual rocks off by looking at pretty yarn or sparkly gemstones or beads or pretty hair or something. If women weren't visual, why can we look at sparkly gems and pretty clothes long after men have lost interest? Whatever, he can have his preference. I'm just saying . . .

 

[Vshanell]

Thank you and I know plenty of black men who are in relationships with black women who don't care for them to wear scarfs to bed because they don't like the way it looks. If that's Terrell's preference then it's his preference.

It's not all about looks all the time though. It's just a scarf and it does come off. Aren't the men supposed to be sleeping anyway, lol. I'm still confused on this. Are we talking about going to bed sleeping or going to bed sexing. If it's sleeping then what the crap does it matter. Do these men be looking at their ladies all during the night, flipping the light on and saying, oooh that scarf is so not hot.......I wish she just leave!

I'm trippin' but for real this is really baffling for me.

 

[MD_Lady]

I know. It's like we are supposed to look sexier for them when we're asleep than they do for us when they're awake! oh well. I know some men are visual, but so am I and I get my visual rocks off by looking at pretty yarn or sparkly gemstones or beads or pretty hair or something. If women weren't visual, why can we look at sparkly gems and pretty clothes long after men have lost interest? Whatever, he can have his preference. I'm just saying . . .

Yet another post for which one thank you was not enough.

 

[NeeSee]

One thank you was not enough. I'm all for couples doing things to appeal to one another, but a lot of women take the word 'no' out of their vocabulary and then :scratchch and when their man acts like everything is about him.

I often wonder to myself why that is. Some women will go far out of their way to be any and everything that they feel a man wants but you rarely see them doing the same for us. I wonder why we feel like we have to do all the sacrificing and changing.

 

[MD_Lady]

I often wonder to myself why that is. Some women will go far out of their way to be any and everything that they feel a man wants but you rarely see them doing the same for us. I wonder why we feel like we have to do all the sacrificing and changing.

Because women keep telling themselves they "have to" do xyz and take away their option to say 'no'. Reciprocity (in effort and tolerance) has always been a requirement for me, but there are quite a few women who have a vastly different approach to relationships than I do.

 

[Southernbella.]

I don't think it's all about the scarf.

I think sometimes men just want you to climb into bed with your hair down. I think for them, it represents a carefree and fun attitude, which is sexy.

Which would most men prefer? A woman who will just jump into the shower without a care in the world, or a woman who has to put on her scarf, then her shower cap, then make sure she doesn't sweat too much because she doesn't want her roots to revert?

 

[Transformer]

I don't think it's all about the scarf.

I think sometimes men just want you to climb into bed with your hair down. I think for them, it represents a carefree and fun attitude, which is sexy.

Which would most men prefer? A woman who will just jump into the shower without a care in the world, or a woman who has to put on her scarf, then her shower cap, then make sure she doesn't sweat too much because she doesn't want her roots to revert?

I didn't know that's the way you do it! I'm really dumb.

 

[Kay.Dee]

I don't think it's all about the scarf.

I think sometimes men just want you to climb into bed with your hair down. I think for them, it represents a carefree and fun attitude, which is sexy.

Which would most men prefer? A woman who will just jump into the shower without a care in the world, or a woman who has to put on her scarf, then her shower cap, then make sure she doesn't sweat too much because she doesn't want her roots to revert?

I do agree
I just don't think T.O. meant it in that way. Oh well I just hope my future husband isn't that petty in the first place.

 

[Radianthealth]

Jessica White is nothing exotic....she is from Buffalo and she is as hood as they come, and has had work done. Very beautiful but thats about it.

Too much work IMO...I am not against nose jobs but it really bothers me that so many people get the same exact nose when they get one.