"Haven't they invented something cuter for black women to wear to bed?"

[Tiye]

I was talking to my older brother on Skype last night. I am in Asia right now so with the time difference with him being in NY I was getting ready for bed and he was getting ready for church. (Context he is married to a white woman, who I love like my own sister).

I was sitting in bed wearing my BSS bought "du-rag looking" silk scarf on my head (somehow it makes my hair smooth and perfect in the morning = less manipulation= perfect work ready bun= protective style= retention retention retention).

He said, "haven't they invented something cuter for black women to wear to bed yet? I mean really does it have to look like a skull cap? Can't you get a nice colourful one then...or even treat yourself to a pretty designer scarf?"
I know its the truth, but my FH doesn't seem to mind...I just can't stop wondering, should I be making more of an effort?

My sister with full shoulder length hair (that I know could be at least bra strap length if she looked after it) will not go to bed with a scarf, and I do know some women on this board say that they would rather never have waist length hair or whatever rather go to bed with a scarf. Do we really look that bad? Have we subjected our men to this for so long that they don't know the difference anymore?

Yes they did long ago. It's called silk fabric, and I mean real silk, the stuff from silk worms, not "silky" fabric. Silk comes in every color and pattern under the sun. And if you don't like any of the colors you see, you can dye it yourself. The best part is that it's under 10 bucks/yard so it is not cost prohibitive. There are umpteen textures of silk but mid weight gauze is best coz it stays in place - doesn't slide off at night for those who have this problem. (I'm not promoting anyone but google silk gauze). And yes frumpy head wear at night is not a good thing - don't subject your man to it and don't subject yourself to it actually. Someone posted a thread here a while ago that the silk actually has a conditioning effect so it's good for your hair in many ways.

I'm the opposite of your sister - I've been wearing scarves to bed all my life, I believe in them and wouldn't give them up for anything.

 

[faithVA]

Have you guys heard of locsoc's?

I have and I'm kicking myself for not getting one at Happily Natural Day. They had the socs that were closed on one end but came in varily ends to not bunch up the locks. Is that the kind you have? Or do you have the one open on both ends?

I am looking for the first type online but haven't found one yet. Maybe I should be looking for a sac and not a soc erplexed

 

[Vshanell]

I'm away from home and on my cell but i think it's locsoc.com.

 

[Alta Angel]

For the women that don't sleep in scarves/bonnets, do you wake up picture perfect in the morning? I don't know if a scarf would look any worse than my hair all over my head when I wake up...

 

[OhSoOthentik]

My SO doesn't seem to mind my bonnet (I have never really asked him though). I assume that he's used to it because his mom and sister use scarves at night also. However, when I have twist and I want to make them last longer I use this old two-toned (blue and red) du-rag (and I leave the tail out) that my friend's son gave me and my so laughs at that everytime. He says, "Babe you could at least tuck the tail in." LMAO.

 

[blackbarbietea]

I dont have a man, but I do wish there was something cuter. like, if we had a certain kind of hair net, but we could wrap something around our ends. idk. I don't think there is a solution really...

 

[blackbarbietea]

Yes they did long ago. It's called silk fabric, and I mean real silk, the stuff from silk worms, not "silky" fabric. Silk comes in every color and pattern under the sun. And if you don't like any of the colors you see, you can dye it yourself. The best part is that it's under 10 bucks/yard so it is not cost prohibitive. There are umpteen textures of silk but mid weight gauze is best coz it stays in place - doesn't slide off at night for those who have this problem. (I'm not promoting anyone but google silk gauze). And yes frumpy head wear at night is not a good thing - don't subject your man to it and don't subject yourself to it actually. Someone posted a thread here a while ago that the silk actually has a conditioning effect so it's good for your hair in many ways.

I'm the opposite of your sister - I've been wearing scarves to bed all my life, I believe in them and wouldn't give them up for anything.

Could you possibly provide us with a link? I know you're not promoting anyone, but it would be tons easier if you just gave us the place you buy yours from.

 

[Kash]

I must be out of the loop, cause I wear my hair in a ponytail or wear it loose to bed. Since you have to comb your hair anyways. So why go to bed with your hair all hidden and wrapped up like a ...

 

[Dominican09]

Kash,
the reason is because the cotton material on the pillows soaks out the moisture of our hair and it can lead to dryness and breakage.

 

[Kash]

Kash,
the reason is because the cotton material on the pillows soaks out the moisture of our hair and it can lead to dryness and breakage.

Wow! I was not aware of that. I wet or wash my hair every morning. So my hair gets some type of moisture every AM. Thanks for letting me know.

 

[SleekyHair]

My SO is asian and he doesn't care if I wear my scarf to bed. He even knows how to put it on for me on night when I get a little too tipsy.

The scarf won't even deter him when he's feeling frisky. I could probably leave it on if I wanted to (I always take it off though!!).

 

[nappystorm]

That's why I invested in satin pillowcases.

ETA: None of my SOs over the years really cared but most would snatch it off before coloring

 

[constance]

I do not feel attractive in my nightly headgear so I've been trying to find something more attractive. I may just purchase some non silk/satin fabric in a cute design and cover my regular scarf with it as I haven't found anything nice and affordable in silk/satin.

I found some cute and inexpensive fabric at Walmart ($1.50 a yard) and am making some cute headwraps for bed. Thanks op for posting this topic as I've been meaning to do this for a while!

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Another option are satin saks. I have one on right now.

Website: SatinSakks

My review: Satin Sakks Review

 

[Truth]

ive seen goregous silk scarves if I wanna be pretty about it... however.. why do I care.. i'm sleep.. i'm not taking a picture or impressing anyone. I admit, I use to be afraid to let the SO see me with my head all wrapped up.. but.. umm...i got over that QUICK..he don't care ..only thing he cares about when it comes to my hair is A. When am I going to Straighten it and B. I better not cut it again.

 

[gadgetdiva]

I rock my silk scarf! My kids love the BSS pocket bonnets and bonnets in their favorite colors LOL!
Here's my scarf and I think its pretty.

ETA: sometimes I like to run to CVS, my moms house around the corner or a neighbors with my scarf on....I got in the habit of wearing pretty scarves due to me not having any hair for a period of time (wigs too hot in summer here and I was ashamed)

 

[tapioca_pudding]

- PrettyWrap.com : Silk Hair Wrap, Silk Scarf, Hair Wraps, Silk Sleep Wrap, Sleep Wraps, Silk Pillowcase, Black Hair Care

Those are gorgeous and affordable and great for the hair. I don't think you hafta look like a superstar to bed, but I think most men would like their lady to look like a.. well.. lady.. jus my .02

 

[Guitarhero]

Women all over Africa, Asia, the Caribbean and Middle-East (I know it's in Asia) have been wearing scarves for millennia to control voluminous hair and they haven't been complaining. My advice is this, if people want a cuter whatever to wear to bed, then invent it. Otherwise, kim and do not sweat the people who truly have negativity against their own race behind their questioning. Besides, when it comes to sex, the scarf is insignificant when it's not the target of the penis.

 

[MyInvisibleChyrsalis]

I'm married to a caucasian and Trust me, when it's time to go to bed, I could have on my bonnet, some acne cream AND wool socks on. All my husband is thinking about is getting lucky. Scarves are the last thing on his mind, unfortunately, lol. i just want to SLEEP!

 

[darlingdiva]

I've asked DH how he feels about my wearing a scarf or bonnet & he said that it doesn't bother him at all. He also don't understand why the scarf issue is such a big deal.

In fact, he started pulling my bonnet over my ears so that I can protect my edges & I've been doing it ever since.

ETA: For the people who were interested in the site that Pokahontas mentioned, here is the link:
http://www.soclocsoc.com/

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

My SO is asian and he doesn't care if I wear my scarf to bed. He even knows how to put it on for me on night when I get a little too tipsy.

The scarf won't even deter him when he's feeling frisky. I could probably leave it on if I wanted to (I always take it off though!!).

I'm married to a caucasian and Trust me, when it's time to go to bed, I could have on my bonnet, some acne cream AND wool socks on. All my husband is thinking about is getting lucky. Scarves are the last thing on his mind, unfortunately, lol. i just want to SLEEP!

^^^^^LOL!!! These comments above made me laugh out loud!!! Seriously!


You know what?? I've noticed that a lot of men of other races tend not to care too much about mundane minutia when it comes to women. Is this person a woman?? Okay...let's get down to biznessss!!!! :eyebrows2

No offense, (please don't take offense you all ) as much as I love my black men....these days I'm starting to notice that black men seem to be a little more picky when it comes to how women look/her hair/what she's wearing, or just women in general! Whereas, other men of other races don't seem to care as much about outward "appearances" when it comes to women. Don't get me wrong...men of ALL races are VISUAL...but I have found that sometimes it seems like men of other races are easier to please when it comes to simple things such as hair, head scarves, natural hair, etc.

*shrugs* Maybe it's just me...I could be wrong about this "trend"....idk... It's just what I've observed and heard other men talking about that gives me this impression.

 

[qchelle]

^^^^^LOL!!! These comments above made me laugh out loud!!! Seriously!


You know what?? I've noticed that a lot of men of other races tend not to care too much about mundane minutia when it comes to women. Is this person a woman?? Okay...let's get down to biznessss!!!! :eyebrows2

No offense, (please don't take offense you all ) as much as I love my black men....these days I'm starting to notice that black men seem to be a little more picky when it comes to how women look/her hair/what she's wearing, or just women in general! Whereas, other men of other races don't seem to care as much about outward "appearances" when it comes to women. Don't get me wrong...men of ALL races are VISUAL...but I have found that sometimes it seems like men of other races are easier to please when it comes to simple things such as hair, head scarves, natural hair, etc.

*shrugs* Maybe it's just me...I could be wrong about this "trend"....idk... It's just what I've observed and heard other men talking about that gives me this impression.

1st bolded: there is an entire race of men that don't care what women look like?? And these are primarily white men? I disagree.

2nd bolded: I agree I'm separating hair and other appearance-based things though. IME, white men care MUCH more about not dating fat chicks (like much much more...than black guys anyway)

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

1st bolded: there is an entire race of men that don't care what women look like?? And these are primarily white men? I disagree.

HA!!!! I WISH!

I guess what I was trying to say is that I've noticed that a lot of men of other races don't care so much about hair. Ever since my BC I've noticed that black men haven't said a word about my hair lol. Well, one black guy did...when he saw an old picture of me (with my hair straight and longer), he looked at me and turned up his nose and asked me why I cut my hair, and said something to the effect of how he likes longer hair on women. Boy puhleeze! I just smh...

But on the contrary, I've gotten many compliments from white and asian men about my new do! So....go figure??

2nd bolded: I agree I'm separating hair and other appearance-based things though. IME, white men care MUCH more about not dating fat chicks (like much much more...than black guys anyway)

Yeah I do agree... WM tend to care more about how slim a woman is as opposed to BM. Most BM actually like their women a little more "thick" or "curvacious". However I get the impression that hair type/texture/length isn't such an issue for men of other races as it is for BM. I mean, I'm sure most men would probably "prefer" women with long hair as opposed to short, but I don't think it's such a "deal breaker" for them as it is for most BM. Smh.... I'll even say that skin tone doesn't matter as much to them. I've seen more WM with DARKER-skinned BW than I have seen them with light-skinned BW. Again...go figure! LOL!!!

 

[kmn1980]

I have yet to meet the man more concerned about whats ON my head then whats on my body. *Kanye shrug*

Besides, when it comes to sex, the scarf is insignificant when it's not the target of the penis.

I'm married to a caucasian and Trust me, when it's time to go to bed, I could have on my bonnet, some acne cream AND wool socks on. All my husband is thinking about is getting lucky. Scarves are the last thing on his mind

I've asked DH how he feels about my wearing a scarf or bonnet & he said that it doesn't bother him at all. He also don't understand why the scarf issue is such a big deal.

Agree with all of the above. Honestly, I'd start to get worried if my husband started worrying about hair and hair accessories that much.

 

[CheLala13]

I happen to think I look cute with my scarf and I wear it any time my head is touching my cotton pillow. Guys have seen me wear them and there are no complaints (white or black). I put it up in a high pony and wrap the scarf around and I get called adorable.

 

[constance]

Another option are satin saks. I have one on right now.

Website: SatinSakks

My review: Satin Sakks Review

These are really cute! Thanks for posting.

 

[CB1731]

My DH is white and he doesn't care about the scarf wrap. He's actually told me I look cute in it a few times. I try to hold off on wearing the satin bonnet over it until he is snoring away.

 

[Mdmommy99]

My husband doesn't care what I have on. Aunt Jemima scarf, granny underwear, housecoat, mud face mask- none of it seems to turn him off.

But I hate my headgear. Scarves I think can be cute but they don't stay on my head. The only thing that does stay on is the satin bonnet and that makes me feel horribly unattractive. I don't like getting it on thinking that I look like I'm about to go make some donuts. However if I leave my hair out it looks horrendous as well-lol. I think I've just resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to look ugly when I wake up.

 

[ryanshope]

I got my LOUIE rag on....lol this thread is too much. How unattractive do you have to be for a scarf to detract from your overall beauty? My nightly ritual consists of ALOT of uglification(new word)----I use a beauty mask, slather vaseline all over my feet and "plait" my fro into six doo-doo braids. Yeah, that sounds real sexy, right? And any man I have been with has never stop an IOTA to say "baby, take that scarf off so I can get some of ur cookie" . If they want the cookie, they gonna still come for the cookie. Now I also sleep in the buff.....maybe that is a distraction from the colorful scarf on my head? That is my compromise---I keep my scarf on and leave my undies in the drawer

I have silk pilllowcases and 3 or 4 silk scarves that I rotate out.

 

[fancythis1]

I wear and have been wearing a black silk scarf to bed for YEARS. I am so committed to my scarf I even wear it while taking naps. I tie that bad boy right up "Aunt Jemima" style every night! Yep...knot, front and center! I will even tie my head up while cooking/frying because I can't stand for my hair to absorb any type of cooking smells. My ex husband never had a problem with my scarfs and my SO doesn't either. I don't think most men really care about scarfs but "granny gowns" and "granny pannies"...whole 'nother story!