T.O. says the women he dates don't wear scarfs to bed

[Princess Tam Tam]

A married couple who both wear satin caps to bed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1wTgNC5K20

 

[SleekandBouncy]

Interesting.

*marks I was here spot*

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

After reading about how you all (board members) always sleep with scarves on I went out and bought myself one. I put it on and DH asked me why I was walking around looking like an extra from Pirates of the Caribbean. I just sleep on a satin pillowcase now. You have to pick your battles and this one wasn't that serious to me.

 

[adf23]

Nope, it aint sexy, but who cares.

Most nights, I wear a scarf AND DH has on a do-rag! Do either of us wear these things during the day, of course not. We have more important things to think about than how we look when the lights go out.

ETA: Satin pillowcases make my head sweat.

 

[MyHeavenlyFatherKnows]

I wonder the natural texture of the womens hair who have never worn scarves and whose family members never wore them either. My mother is a thick 3a/b3c/4a relaxed as an adult, but wears the scarf b/c she is relaxed and wants to keep her hair healthy. So while I was growing up she always wore one. I also knew a Korean girl who wore a wrap and faithfully slept in a scarf to protect her look.

I'm wondering (as a 4a/4b) if the ladies for whom wearing a scarf is strange and for whom a silk pillowcase is a new post-lhcf luxury: DO you have natural 3ish hair????? Your family? (this is probably worthy of a new thread and I hope someone starts one so I don't have to)

 

[Vshanell]

I wonder the natural texture of the womens hair who have never worn scarves and whose family members never wore them either. My mother is a thick 3a/b3c/4a relaxed as an adult, but wears the scarf b/c she is relaxed and wants to keep her hair healthy. So growing up she always wore one. I also knew a Korean girl who wore a wrap and faithfully slept in a scarf to protect her look.

I'm wondering (as a 4a/4b) if the ladies for whom wearing a scarf is strange and for whom a silk pillowcase is a new post-lhcf luxury: DO you have natural 3ish hair????? Your family? (this is probably worthy of a new thread and I hope someone starts one so I don't have to)

My hair is in the 3's and I grew up wearing a scarf and will continue to wear one. I do not like my hair all over the place when I sleep, it just feels gross to me. I just wanna keep everything in place. Yeah there's probably some styles that I may not have to cover up like two braids or something but I'm still covering it because I don't want to wake up a fuzzy head lady....that's not sexy either.....gotta be sexy 24/7.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

It always amazes me that this board is full of women complaining about how they can't get a good black man, yet it's also full of women talking about "he better deal with it," "he better take me as I am," "he's not perfect, so why does he expect me to be," "I'm not doing all of that to get/keep a man," "he can just go somewhere else."

I'm just saying...

(I know that everyone saying this isn't unmarried.)

 

[Vshanell]

It always amazes me that this board is full of women complaining about how they can't get a good black man, yet it's also full of women talking about "he better deal with it," "he better take me as I am," "he's not perfect, so why does he expect me to be," "I'm not doing all of that to get/keep a man," "he can just go somewhere else."

I'm just saying...

(I know that everyone saying this isn't unmarried.)

But a scarf is just so petty.......

I think the thing is that (well let me speak for myself) it's sleep time what does it matter? We're on a beauty board, most of us are very into our looks (hair, make-up, nails, body, etc.) and being "That" girl so you know most of us are looking good for our men during the day when they are awake, lol. For me it's not "oh he better deal with it"....it's like why is this even an issue?

What's so wrong with taking someone as they are though?

 

[jada1111]

I wonder the natural texture of the womens hair who have never worn scarves and whose family members never wore them either. My mother is a thick 3a/b3c/4a relaxed as an adult, but wears the scarf b/c she is relaxed and wants to keep her hair healthy. So growing up she always wore one. I also knew a Korean girl who wore a wrap and faithfully slept in a scarf to protect her look.

I'm wondering (as a 4a/4b) if the ladies for whom wearing a scarf is strange and for whom a silk pillowcase is a new post-lhcf luxury: DO you have natural 3ish hair????? Your family? (this is probably worthy of a new thread and I hope someone starts one so I don't have to)

My hair is 4a/b and even though I'm natural now I didn't wear scarves when I was relaxed either. Maybe I should have. To be honest, I don't know if either wrapping your head with a scarf or sleeping on a satin pillowcase keeps the hair healthy or not.

If that was true, then more relaxed women who didn't frequent the hairboards who've done this for ages wouldn't have damaged edges or dry hair. I honestly didn't know how widespread it was until reading this thread. I had no idea it was a "given" in many families.

I do keep my hair in loose twists some nights or pull it up in a puff for bed (to prevent the ends from rubbing), then fluff out in the morning. I'll add MJ Curly Buttercreme or CD Tui Hair Oil for sheen and I'm fine for a few days. I wash my hair two or three times a week anyway.

The only time I wear a scarf is when I'm doing a deep conditioning. I place it over two plastic bags for a half an hour to make it more intense.

 

[andromeda]

A married couple who both wear satin caps to bed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1wTgNC5K20

lol I saw this on her blog the other day. Glamazini can get away with it though bc her face is absolutely gorgeous. I think women with very feminine faces or strong features can pull of the scarf at bedtime without catching too much flack from dh.

I'm just now getting in the habit of wearing a scarf to bed and recently got a satin pillowcase for when I don't feel like doing the scarf thing. I wouldn't mind just forgoing the scarf and sleeping on a satin pillowcase for an SO, but I would be ticked off if they made a big issue of it.

 

[gabulldawg]

But a scarf is just so petty.......

I think the thing is that (well let me speak for myself) it's sleep time what does it matter? We're on a beauty board, most of us are very into our looks (hair, make-up, nails, body, etc.) and being "That" girl so you know most of us are looking good for our men during the day when they are awake, lol. For me it's not "oh he better deal with it"....it's like why is this even an issue?

What's so wrong with taking someone as they are though?

I work hard to look good during the day. Can't I relax for a few hours at night??? I don't think it's too much to ask. It would definitely be a different story if I wanted to want around wearing my scarf all day long, but I'm just talkin about wearing it when I go to sleep! I've never met a man who thought it was that serious, and I hope I never do...

 

[DragonPearl]

For those who don't wear scarves and wear straight styles, how do you keep your hair from tangling? Do you at least pin curl or wrap it?

I grew up with a mom who wore scarves. I wear one. My SO's mom didn't, so I had to train him to accept the scarf. I told him either I look crazy for 7-8 hours at night or I look crazy all day with messed up hair.

I roll my hair into 1, 2 or 3 curls/ braids/ twists and I pin them. Or I wear a french roll or 1 or 2 buns to bed. DH doesn't mind scarves at all, but I can't stand them. I don't like the feeling of anything pressing against my head or my temples when I sleep. I am a light sleeper and it drives me crazy. I sleep on a real silk pillowcase anyway, the real silk you buy at fabric stores. I made it myself.

I am thinking of getting those old fashioned ultralight hairnets. They are so light and thin, they look like spider's web. They might work with my buns and french rolls.

 

[SparkleDoll]

I don't wear scarves at all. I sleep on a silk pillow case and I put my hair in a loose high ponytail with a satin scrunchie and I tuck the ends under. Sometimes I sleep with it loose. I have no problems with my hair's health.

 

[Jade Feria]

Damn, this is still being talked about??

 

[kurlybella]

See, that's why I loves my DH. The first time I spent the night over his house, I tried to act like I could sleep without a scarf. He turned and looked at me and said, "Where's your scarf? Don't you need to wrap your hair or something?" I immediately pulled my scarf out from my bag and got to wrapping.

Another thing, I always thought that we, as black women/women of color are exotic. Are most people now using this term to describe non-black women?

okay?
i mean to act like his mama or sisters/cousins (if he has any) ain't never worn a scarf in their lives. black women do this in college too so i'm sure he's seen it.

he's being brand new.

my man does not complain either and it does not bother him either way. and let me forget my scarf cause it's in the dryer. he'll be like, i have an old do rag you can use. thtat's my boo!

Black women do not have to wear scarves to bed unless they are trying to preserve a straight style, so yeah, I have a problem with the idea that this is a necessity for black women.

not true bunny. i've tried all methods. you see them naps in that siggy?? i'm natural and i AIN'T trying to wake up with one big dreadloc! because trust and believe i WILL if i go to bed with my hair swanging and trying to look cute.

 

[kurlybella]

I don't think it's all about the scarf.

I think sometimes men just want you to climb into bed with your hair down. I think for them, it represents a carefree and fun attitude, which is sexy.

Which would most men prefer? A woman who will just jump into the shower without a care in the world, or a woman who has to put on her scarf, then her shower cap, then make sure she doesn't sweat too much because she doesn't want her roots to revert?

good points in this thread. but i think black men know the drill. some black men want women with flowy hair too, so their women, more often than not, must get relaxers to do so since our hair is not naturally flowy. hayle, you have tons of women on this exact board that say their man don't care too much for their natural - GOD GIVEN TEXTURE. key word here is GOD and these fools STILL have a problem.

revert=natural god given evidence of your true texture popping back up.

so that sacrafice is hour long salon relaxer visits or bk treaments that stink to high hayle and are dangerous enough so that you have to wear masks and time it just right so you don't go bald.

sleeping with your hair out for your man is fine if that's how one rolls, and i think you should do it evey now and again or everyday if you want if you can do it without damage.

but for a black man to have a problem if a BLACK woman wants to wrap?? it's not different than angelina thinking she can wash and go zahara's hair like her other daugther cause photographic evidence has proven otherwise. there is a difference between black people's hair and white folks hair whether we like it or NOT.

it is what it is.

ain't no way in the world should wearing a scarf be equated to a woman "doing what she has to do" to keep a man.

next thing you know, some black men are gonna want everyday wash and go'ers and tanners.

 

[kurlybella]

But a scarf is just so petty.......

I think the thing is that (well let me speak for myself) it's sleep time what does it matter? We're on a beauty board, most of us are very into our looks (hair, make-up, nails, body, etc.) and being "That" girl so you know most of us are looking good for our men during the day when they are awake, lol. For me it's not "oh he better deal with it"....it's like why is this even an issue?

What's so wrong with taking someone as they are though?

cause you gots to keep your man poka! you know the drill. excuse me, black man.

i know some black dudes that cannot stand kinky hair or pubic hair unless its "good" coochie hair. guess to keep them, one must relax the head and the cooch. to each his own.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

T.O.'s P.R lady wasn't wearing a bonnet, or a full scarf. She wore something that looked like a headband with the rest of her hair down in the back.

I can see how a scarf isn't necessary for everyone, if it's only for health, get a pillowcase, but for me it's for style.

I wear my hair natural, and a scarf at night is necessary to get my edges to lay down AND keep the top of the style flat. When I was relaxed and stretching, the 'scarf method' was a lifesaver. If it's not needed for you, it's easy to dismiss it as 'petty'; but for some of us, it's necessary to look on point during the day, and while some men might not like it, they tolerate it because the payoff is running their hands through long, beautiful hair all day long.

 

[Bunny77]

not true bunny. i've tried all methods. you see them naps in that siggy?? i'm natural and i AIN'T trying to wake up with one big dreadloc! because trust and believe i WILL if i go to bed with my hair swanging and trying to look cute.

Girl, I got naps too!

My hair is free form, so all wearing a scarf would do would be having me waking up with all my hair smooshed and matted against my head. I just sleep on a satin pillowcase to protect my ends and prevent dryness, and my style is usually preserved the next morning. (I might have to squirt some water on some parts and some conditioner, but overall it's good.)

But again, to each her own regarding scarves. I'm not worked up about it like T.O.!

 

[Ms Red]

Get over yourself TO.

I'd wear a pretty scarf to bed, sure I'd also use a satin pillowcase sometimes. A bun, high ponytail. It's MY HAIR and as long as it's cute, he will deal with it

 

[rickysrose]

My DH understands the need to protect my edges ... he reminds or passes me my silk bonnet or my neckroll with the silk pillowcase .

 

[andromeda]

My DH understands the need to protect my edges ... he reminds or passes me my silk bonnet or my neckroll with the silk pillowcase .

Awwww, that's so sweet!

 

[Shimmie]

Who's T.O. ? Never heard of him...

Whoever he is, he's out of touch with women.

 

[adf23]

good points in this thread. but i think black men know the drill. some black men want women with flowy hair too, so their women, more often than not, must get relaxers to do so since our hair is not naturally flowy. hayle, you have tons of women on this exact board that say their man don't care too much for their natural - GOD GIVEN TEXTURE. key word here is GOD and these fools STILL have a problem.

revert=natural god given evidence of your true texture popping back up.so that sacrafice is hour long salon relaxer visits or bk treaments that stink to high hayle and are dangerous enough so that you have to wear masks and time it just right so you don't go bald.

sleeping with your hair out for your man is fine if that's how one rolls, and i think you should do it evey now and again or everyday if you want if you can do it without damage.

but for a black man to have a problem if a BLACK woman wants to wrap?? it's not different than angelina thinking she can wash and go zahara's hair like her other daugther cause photographic evidence has proven otherwise. there is a difference between black people's hair and white folks hair whether we like it or NOT.

it is what it is.

ain't no way in the world should wearing a scarf be equated to a woman "doing what she has to do" to keep a man.

next thing you know, some black men are gonna want everyday wash and go'ers and tanners.

Thank you. I do think to some degree, there is a correlation here. DH loves my natural hair, and doesn't care about my wearing a scarf to bed. He encouraged me to go natural- so I know he is not expecting some 2b/3a loose hair dream that he can run his hands straight through, in the bed, even if that was the case when we got married. I guess I just think its superficial on alot of levels. DH dated all kinds of races of women before we got married, but he knows the deal. I have yet to hear a complaint.

 

[cookie1]

When I forget my scarf, he's like "Baby you're not wrapping your hair". Cause if I go to bed w/o my scarf- he's for sure NOT getting any b/c I don't want my hair messed up..

 

[~NanCeBoTwin~]

I wear a scarf no matter what, and not just now with DH, he gets the worst because now I do the scarf and bonnet lol. I remember reading a post here once about someone's DH pulling their scarf back down on their head at night if he see's it coming off. Mine will nudge me until I wake up to let me know if it's coming off or came off. He tried pulling it back down for me once, but I drew back and tried to swing on him (hey I was asleep, lol).

I can remember being in college taking my scarf with me on overnight visits.......But none of the guys ever seemed put off, most of them knew what it was with the scarves b/c of their mothers and/or sister or hell previous girlfriends.

 

[MyHeavenlyFatherKnows]

My hair is 4a/b and even though I'm natural now I didn't wear scarves when I was relaxed either. Maybe I should have. To be honest, I don't know if either wrapping your head with a scarf or sleeping on a satin pillowcase keeps the hair healthy or not.

If that was true, then more relaxed women who didn't frequent the hairboards who've done this for ages wouldn't have damaged edges or dry hair. I honestly didn't know how widespread it was until reading this thread. I had no idea it was a "given" in many families.

I do keep my hair in loose twists some nights or pull it up in a puff for bed (to prevent the ends from rubbing), then fluff out in the morning. I'll add MJ Curly Buttercreme or CD Tui Hair Oil for sheen and I'm fine for a few days. I wash my hair two or three times a week anyway.

The only time I wear a scarf is when I'm doing a deep conditioning. I place it over two plastic bags for a half an hour to make it more intense.

A scarf in and of itself does not keep the hair healthy, but it contributes in the overall process.

 

[Southernbella.]

For those who don't wear scarves and wear straight styles, how do you keep your hair from tangling? Do you at least pin curl or wrap it?

When my hair is straight, I pile it up on top of my head in a messy bun before I go to sleep. When it's in its natural state, I don't do anything to it.

 

[Southernbella.]

good points in this thread. but i think black men know the drill. some black men want women with flowy hair too, so their women, more often than not, must get relaxers to do so since our hair is not naturally flowy. hayle, you have tons of women on this exact board that say their man don't care too much for their natural - GOD GIVEN TEXTURE. key word here is GOD and these fools STILL have a problem.

revert=natural god given evidence of your true texture popping back up.

so that sacrafice is hour long salon relaxer visits or bk treaments that stink to high hayle and are dangerous enough so that you have to wear masks and time it just right so you don't go bald.

sleeping with your hair out for your man is fine if that's how one rolls, and i think you should do it evey now and again or everyday if you want if you can do it without damage.

but for a black man to have a problem if a BLACK woman wants to wrap?? it's not different than angelina thinking she can wash and go zahara's hair like her other daugther cause photographic evidence has proven otherwise. there is a difference between black people's hair and white folks hair whether we like it or NOT.

it is what it is.

ain't no way in the world should wearing a scarf be equated to a woman "doing what she has to do" to keep a man.

next thing you know, some black men are gonna want everyday wash and go'ers and tanners.

You're preaching to the choir on this one.

Honestly, I think we're making more out of this than we should. TO was smiling and could very well have been playing with the girl. They have that kind of relationship (I mean, she had just called him a big red tampon). Of course he knows about scarves and hair wrapping.

 

[lowridin76]

Lol, I can't say much I only started wearing a scarf to bed like a year or two ago...my mom never wore one either. Never really had any major issues until I started destroying my hair with dyes and flat irons. I've never had any complaints about the scarf though.