Spinny ...... $100 engagement ring yay or nay

[Poohbear]

So if your boyfriend got down on one knee with a sterling silver CZ would you accept?

My answer is yes. The price and how it looks doesn't really matter to me. I just looked up some CZ rings that are in the $80.00 - $125.00 range on http://www.almostdiamonds.com, and they don't look too bad for just an engagement ring:

$81.99

$84.99

$90.99

$95.99

$101.99

$102.99

$113.99

Edited to Add: It's JUST an engagement ring... it's not like it's the wedding/marriage ring... which I wouldn't mind the price of that either. Even if my boyfriend made over $100K a year, I would not care if he gave me a ring under $1K.

 

[MrsIQ]

MrsIQ do you mind me asking if you guys were young when you married?

Taleah2009,

I was 22 and he was 25.


If you don't like your position, change it. You are not a tree!

 

[nappystorm]

I would accept it but I couldn't wear it because fake jewelry break me out in the worst way. The band would at least have to be real. I can't walk around with a red bumpy itchy finger.

Sent from my HTC_A510c using HTC_A510c

 

[snillohsss]

Taleah2009,

I was 22 and he was 25.


If you don't like your position, change it. You are not a tree!

thats like us...I was 23yrs and dh was almost 25yrs.

 

[Lucia]

I don't believe in cheap gifts. Simple is fine, but I think cheap (and fake) sends the wrong message. If money were that pressing of an issue, I'd prefer to forgo the engagement ring entirely and just get bands.

Actually that is done in other cultures he gives a gold or platinum band somtimes an eternity type then at the marriage he gives a center stone ring.

 

[Syrah]

. I understand your point but I guess I don't know why it always has to come down to either/ or. I would want a man who could buy the ring AND the house. At the same time. Not sure why I should expect any less. *kanyeshrug*

OPs question wasn't about what you want, but what you'd accept when he can't afford it all at the same time. I posted about what I could accept based on what I've seen others do and what I know SO is working toward...

I don't need to signal to others what my relationship is about. And personally if it came down to it, $40K toward our house before marriage vs $10K on a ring to initiate marriage, in terms of what a relationship is about and how seriously he takes his role as a man - IMO one speaks louder than the other. A ring is easy to back out of or walk away from ... a house, not so much. Of course I want both... But that's me.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

OPs question wasn't about what you want, but what you'd accept when he can't afford it all at the same time. I posted about what I could accept based on what I've seen others do and what I know SO is working toward...
I don't need to signal to others what my relationship is about. And personally if it came down to it, $40K toward our house before marriage vs $10K on a ring to initiate marriage, in terms of what a relationship is about and how seriously he takes his role as a man - IMO one speaks louder than the other. A ring is easy to back out of or walk away from ... a house, not so much. But that's me.

Yeah but you aren't the only one who thinks this way. I see this mindset quite a bit on this forum...as if it is impossible to find a man who can do both. even if the OP's question was bout him not being able to do it all at the same time, it doesn't change the fact that people seem to expect so little from men. If it is of good quality, then it isn't just a ring. It can also be a rainy day fund if something goes awry. and it is something you won't have to split in the event of divorce, unlike this house you all keep talking about.


To go ahead and answer the question, I would not accept it. But people around me know that. Any man who planned on marrying me would know that. I would have selected a man who could do both.

 

[GodivaChocolate]

That is unacceptable to me for two reasons. One, what I want in an engagement ring would never be found for $100. Two, if $100 is all he can afford then he is in no position to take on a wife.

My SO and I are ring shopping now and he understands what I want and is more than happy to give it to me.

I understand that it's about more than a ring and all of that but I don't understand why it has to be either or? I want and will have a beautiful ring and I want and will have a happy marriage.

And you can have both and don't accept anything less

 

[Syrah]

Yeah but you aren't the only one who thinks this way. I see this mindset quite a bit on this forum...as if it is impossible to find a man who can do both. even if the OP's question was bout him not being able to do it all at the same time, it doesn't change the fact that people seem to expect so little from men. If it is of good quality, then it isn't just a ring. It can also be a rainy day fun if something goes awry. and it is something you won't have to split in the event of divorce, unlike this house you all keep talking about.

To go ahead and answer the question, I would not accept it. But people around me know that. Any man who planned on marrying me would know that. I would have selected a man who could do both.

I hear you, although I don't agree with some of the premises. @ the bolded, I totally agree. Coming with something and coming with nothing are two different things...and sterling silver + CZ = nothing.

 

[TayMac]

I'm not a big jewelry person but I don't like CZ rings. A modest real ring is fine though.

I'd like to know that he put some thought and planning into the purchase.

 

[madamdot]

I think should go after whatever we want and no limit it to nice ring and house. I think this thread was just about what would you accept. A huge expensive ring is important to some; a moderate size nice ring to others and yet there are those who just dont care. Same thing goes for the house, love, support, respect, kids etc.

If you care dont settle. This is why we have dealbreakers.

BTW- I think a lot of what we think is important changes before and after marriage.

 

[miss stress]

well I got mairred with NO ring, but now I have a nice one so my answer is yes I would accept his proposal

 

[Lucia]

From the love of my life? I would take piece of rope they drew a heart on.

ITA
adding to that yes I do want a decent ring but would I turn down a proposal for the lack of a ring? No. Some men do propose in the moment and no they dont happen to have a ring on them so I wouldn't kick him to the curb for that.
I would want a ring presented to me during the engagement or at or after the marriage.
ETA: To me the man and his commitment to me is much more important than the ring.

 

[MissYocairis]

I know so many women who say they would refuse an engagement if the ring does not meet certain criteria some of them already have their engagement rings picked out and I wonder if they are setting themselves up for disappointment.

So if your boyfriend got down on one knee with a sterling silver CZ would you accept?

I once had a friend....she's still my girl, but anyway....she was with a man for like 7 years and had been through hell and highwater with him. She left him several times and the last time she left him, he came back with a ring....but it wasn't the ring they had initially picked out. He was on one knee. She declined. We are talking a difference between a $16k ring and a $22K ring. She was insulted and not happy. Turned out for the best though because she eventually said yes....got the ring, broke up with him and took the center stone and had it made into a stunning solitaire pendant. And, he ended up being no good anyway (he was always no good). Fast forward four or so years....she's married now to someone fabulous with a gorgeous ring and he's still single and just recently called off a wedding to someone else.

I thought that example was extreme....however, a cheap ring (cz) or $100 ring is never okay unless the couple has already agreed to that.

 

[cluelezz]

Maybe if he was morally against diamonds (that weren't certified conflict-free). But even then, I'd question why I couldn't get a sapphire, or ruby or something. My watch(es) cost more than $100. Hell, my high school ring has diamonds in it and costs more than $100. Aint no way I could put a $100 ring on and be proud of it, and I'm cheap!!

 

[Fine 4s]

Would you be willing to contribute to a "better" ring if you know he can't afford one? Split the cost if you will...

 

[madamdot]

Would you be willing to contribute to a "better" ring if you know he can't afford one? Split the cost if you will...

Nope . . . .

 

[Windsy]

Would you be willing to contribute to a "better" ring if you know he can't afford one? Split the cost if you will...

No...I'll accept what he can get as long as it's REAL; I'm not splitting the cost of this...nope, not doing it!

 

[Solitude]

I didn't post in the other thread, but I would get engaged without a ring, or with an inexpensive ring. I don't like to wear a lot of jewelry and I can't imagine wearing a pricey ring every day. I'm assuming that if we are dating and ready to get married, he meets all of my criteria and none of that, to me, is represented in a ring.

My parents are divorced, but they were married for over 20 years and they only wore simple gold bands. Maybe that is why it doesn't seem that important to me.

 

[Lucia]

these rings are in the $100 range and honestly I wouldn't know they cost less unless someone told me so. Theyre also gold not silver and Ive seen them in person and they look great.

 

[Klearli]

This woman at work has this blinging bam bam wowie ring, and when ever she recieves a compliment, she's like, honey, I earned this ring, cuz when he proposed this is what he gave me. Then she'll show you her first ring (she's like 36 and has been married since she was 19)...and its like this little piece of slightly shiny dust (the diamond) on a thin gold band. She wears it right next to her bling ring he gave her I think on their 10th anniversary. Then she'll say its not the ring that the man gives you, its the man who's giving you the ring. Then she'll laugh a big laugh and be like, at least that's what my momma told me when I first saw it!

Anyway I like her and she seems like a happy person.

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[Lucia]

This woman at work has this blinging bam bam wowie ring, and when ever she recieves a compliment, she's like, honey, I earned this ring, cuz when he proposed this is what he gave me. Then she'll show you her first ring (she's like 36 and has been married since she was 19)...and its like this little piece of slightly shiny dust (the diamond) on a thin gold band. She wears it right next to her bling ring he gave her I think on their 10th anniversary. Then she'll say its not the ring that the man gives you, its the man who's giving you the ring. Then she'll laugh a big laugh and be like, at least that's what my momma told me when I first saw it!

Anyway I like her and she seems like a happy person.

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Wow that must have been the tiniest diamond ever, but she's still married and happy. The upgrade must be something.
That's a smart woman.

 

[UrbainChic]

As far as a big ole diamond goes--*I* am the one who has a moral issue with diamonds.

My parents were married for life and never wore anything besides simple bands and sometimes nothing at all.

I wear almost no jewelry now.

That said I like what an engagement ring symbolizes and I am a very traditional person, so i would like a ring that looks traditional and that cost something more than what we spend on one night out.He easily spends more than $100 on a night out with me so i'd hope our engagement is more significant to him than that at least. I'd hope he'd want to get me something worth more than dinner and some drinks.....

 

[Lucia]

I think why some people get caught up in the cost of ring and that it must be a diamond because they're waiting on a man to give them correction gift them the biggest piece of jewelry they ever own. That's missing a vey big point is that ladies we can treat ourselves to jewels we don't have to wait for a man to do it.
If you're working hard got a car some money dress well why cant you give a gift to yourself
Who says you can that. And don't let these Becky's fool ya they're rocking top quality zircon set in gold like its real then get a real diamond upgrade later and no one knows but a trained jeweler with a loupe jeweler told me that.

 

[Arcadian]

I think why some people get caught up in the cost of ring and that it must be a diamond because they're waiting on a man to give them correction gift them the biggest price of Newley they ever own. That's missing a vey big point is that ladies we can treat ourselves to jewels we don't has to wait for a man to do it.
If you're working hard got a car some money dress week why can you give a gift to yourself
Who says you can that. And don't let these Becky's fool ya they're rocking top quality zircon set in gold like its real then get a real diamond upgrade later and no one knows but a trained jeweler with a loop jeweler told me that.

A good quality simulant is going to cost money and no no one would be able to tell unless it was louped by an experienced person.

Lab diamonds are still real diamonds as they're seeded from natural mined diamonds. and many of those cost the same (or more) than natural mined.

No one should get caught up in diamonds anyway. White diamonds are overly expensive as a center stones tbh, because they're very abundant (they would cost about 10 bucks a ct if not for debeers). Colored diamonds are the true rarity of the diamond world ( though not including black or cognac diamonds, explained that in another thread).

Truly rare gemstones, like the one in my siggy, have earned the designation of their cost.

-A

 

[ElizaBlue]

I think if he can do better he should do better...but it wouldn't ever be a requirement for me. My parents got married with cigar bands (what engagement ring?) and they were married 65 years until they passed away.

They were 100% totally committed to each other. So I'd take a man fully committed to me and who totally adored me over these rings that could feed a village and provide housing for years to come.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

it moves on to imply that spending more than $100, would cause one to go into debt. Which, aside from being borderline asinine, is a reckless conclusion. It also feeds into an extremism that I'm so often annoyed by, with the complete neglect of the entire range of possible outcomes aside from either going ringless/fake/cheap or being homeless and in insurmountable debt. That can't be all that this life has to offer. It's like the best way people can support their claim, is by using the worst possible alternative as a comparator

Because thanking the post was not enough.

I was wondering how/why the assumption that if somebody didn't want a $100 dollar ring, then the next possible default was five or ten thousand.
~~~~~~~~~~

My answer to the OP is that no I wouldn't accept a $100 ring. Because it signals to me that the man doesn't know me as well as he should. I'd rather he come at me with nothing than some b.s. and a hun'ned dolla ring is the epitome of some ole b.s.

 

[MissYocairis]

Because thanking the post was not enough.

I was wondering how/why the assumption that if somebody didn't want a $100 dollar ring, then the next possible default was five or ten thousand.
~~~~~~~~~~

My answer to the OP is that no I wouldn't accept a $100 ring. Because it signals to me that the man doesn't know me as well as he should. I'd rather he come at me with nothing than some b.s. and a hun'ned dolla ring is the epitome of some ole b.s.

Thank you. First off, if he's coming with a hunnit dolla ring he's either a) not working, in which case, we ain't dating, let alone in love or b) he must not know bout me, in which case, it would be a bad idea to marry someone who is clueless about what he has in you and who you even are to begin with.

 

[secretdiamond]

Any man who has been with me knew from the jump my expectations for a ring, marriage, and our future life together.

I don't want an elaborate ring (like those popular these days), but I want a nice, simple ring... a diamond. Obviously, this is much more than $100.

My SO knows this and wants to give me that & won't be in debt at all for it.

No, he is not super duper rich but, he is smart with his money & financially ambitious. That's one of the many reasons I fell for him.

He has already bought real estate and plans to buy more next year even before we are married. Then, we plan on buying something together after the wedding. So, that aspect is more than taken care of.

I think the answer boils down to what he can afford, and even then, if someone can have a smartphone these days, he can more than afford something worth more than a $100 sterling silver engagement ring.

 

[secretdiamond]

Also, in response to those who married without a ring.

For me, I would be happier for a man to propose to me without a ring because he can't afford what he believes I truly deserve, than for him to come at me with a $100 sterling silver, CZ "engagement ring" from Claire's.