Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
You know, everyone is where they are and you have to decide what works for you. There is not one thread here that is a referendum on your life.
This thread isn't about tap-dancing for someone else. This thread is about your own personal self-assessments. That can take any form you wish.
There is no laundry list in the OP about how one should look, how much one should weigh, how much education one needs (to snag the upper echelon), how high your heels need to be, and how much you need to cook.
I'm not sure how an encouragement to turn inward becomes a parallel to THOSE types of threads/books/blogs/discussions. I was simply pointing out something from another thread that kept being brought up.....speaking of which, MANY in the other thread WERE giving SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS on what the OP needed to do physically in order to present herself as more appealing. I believe there was PLENTY of "lose the weight" talk going on there. I didn't take that route by any stretch of the imagination.
If you want to vent about being sick and tired of the laundry lists, I find it ironic that a thread on generic self-love -- in the midst of scores of threads that focus on giving better head, being more feminine, traveling in upper echelon circles, looking sexier, cooking more, etc, etc, etc -- would be the thread where you have your venting breakdown.Really, you JUST NOW realizing it in a self-love thread? Why not realize you were fed up when you read that the brothas don't like your wedges and you need to learn to walk in stillettos instead? (pure example!)
Oddly, there is a certain resonance with the principle of self-love and self-acceptance in your post. Why can't someone love me just the way I am? If you love you just the way you are, how is that incongruent with the op? I think that's the whole point.
And, as Ambergirl so eloquently put it, when one begins to experience themselves from a place of non-judgment then so goes the world. I think that resonates with your post as well.
Anyway, as I stated before, everyone is where they are, if you see something of value, awesome. If it is of no value to you, I will try diligently to meet your expectations next time I post a relationship thread and I am sorry you have been offended.
~Charlotte*York~.....Awww....no, not offended at all girl!
I hope you didn't take my "rant" the wrong way. I wasn't ranting at you or your post, so I hope you weren't offended. In fact, as I mentioned in my post, I completely AGREE with everything you posted! I myself am usually preaching "self-love" on this board as well as to all of my friends/family members who go through relationship troubles/heartbreak, etc.
My post was just a vent that's all. Plain and simple. I've thought and felt this way for the longest time! After reading some self-help books and some threads on LHCF, I started to think that I had to be darn near "perfect" in order to "catch" a man!
I soon started to look around me and started to see that "normal", everyday women like friends of mine have been able to snag guys with no problem and they aren't anywhere NEAR "perfect". Some of them even have self-esteem issues and have bouts of depression, etc, and STILL have men wanting to marry them, and/or are in decent relationships. So....my vent wasn't towards you at all Charlotte, so I'm sorry if you took it that way. It was just a vent of frustration at how sometimes online sites, self-help books, the media, etc. tend to preach to women that if they only "do this", or "do that", or "act like a B*****" or whatever....THEN they too will attract the man of their dreams.
When in reality, I'm starting to think that it's just pure luck sometimes lol!! The Right timing in life...nothing more...nothing less. I'm not saying that loving yourself and living your life to the fullest doesn't help. No way! In fact, I think it helps a great deal! I'm ALL for living your BEST life ALWAYS...regardless of what your single status is at the moment. There's no reason to go through life in constant want imo. That's no way to live. 
But I think society in general should just realize that some things in life just HAPPEN....just because...and not because of any special magic of our own really. *shrugs* I rarely (if ever) see books telling men to "love themselves" or "be happy" regardless of their single status in order to gain/attract female attention. Maybe men in general just don't crave relationships as much as most women do...idk.
Either way, I say...keep preaching the self love, it's a wonderful thing.
I've come to accept myself more and more every year I get older and wiser. 
But at the same time, I've also come to see that there's no real "magic formula" in catching a man or getting married. 
But self-love is always a plus. 
If a man comes along with it, then hey....that's an extra bonus! 
