Spinny ...... $100 engagement ring yay or nay

[TracyNicole]

Depends on the situation. I didn't get the ring of my dreams but I did get a ring, my credit cards cleared and a house. We had a small wedding with 10 guests and some people tried to make me feel bad. To me that was a worthwhile trade off and I have something to look forward too(upgrade).

My husband works hard to make sure things are taken care of. The point of a seriously expensive rig in the past was to give the woman some security if her husband died, left or whatever. In modern times it's mostly a trash talking point. I preferred having no credit card bills, no wedding debt and returning from my honeymoon in the Caribbean to turn the key on my single family house.

A girl I used to be friends with got the over the top engagement weekend with the 2 carat ring and huge wedding and now they are on the verge of divorce mostly because all they do is fight about the debt while living in their one bedroom apartment. He was a student like my husband and charged a ring to satisfy her.

Now if my husband were in his current career where he makes twice as much my expectations would be different. It's all about what your current situation is and your plans for the future. Sorry but this is a pet peeve of mi e. there are so many materialistic people out there unwilling to sacrifice gratification now for a better tomorrow then they are mad at what others are able to build. So glad many of you ladies seem flexible. *stepping down from soapbox*

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[gforceroy]

This reminded me of that Walmart commercial (seen it yesterday) where a girl found a ring in her food at the dinnertable and start freaking out and screaming. It was a 1/10th carat ring (I think) and cost around a hundred... I told my bf that if he was that cheap I would say no.. haha.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

I don't believe in cheap gifts. Simple is fine, but I think cheap (and fake) sends the wrong message. If money were that pressing of an issue, I'd prefer to forgo the engagement ring entirely and just get bands.

This was what I wanted to do. But I guess his mom had planned on passing down her ring from day one....even though it's about two sizes two big and can't be resized for fear of losing stones, and therefore I can't wear it We have matching wedding bands and that's all I wear.

eta: I fully appreciate her effort. Don't wanna come off ungrateful or anything

 

[likewtr4chklit]

Depends on the situation. I didn't get the ring of my dreams but I did get a ring, my credit cards cleared and a house. We had a small wedding with 10 guests and some people tried to make me feel bad. To me that was a worthwhile trade off and I have something to look forward too(upgrade).

My husband works hard to make sure things are taken care of. The point of a seriously expensive rig in the past was to give the woman some security if her husband died, left or whatever. In modern times it's mostly a trash talking point. I preferred having no credit card bills, no wedding debt and returning from my honeymoon in the Caribbean to turn the key on my single family house.

A girl I used to be friends with got the over the top engagement weekend with the 2 carat ring and huge wedding and now they are on the verge of divorce mostly because all they do is fight about the debt while living in their one bedroom apartment. He was a student like my husband and charged a ring to satisfy her.

Now if my husband were in his current career where he makes twice as much my expectations would be different. It's all about what your current situation is and your plans for the future. Sorry but this is a pet peeve of mi e. there are so many materialistic people out there unwilling to sacrifice gratification now for a better tomorrow then they are mad at what others are able to build. So glad many of you ladies seem flexible. *stepping down from soapbox*

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I never understood why people are willing to go into debt for a big ring and a fancy wedding. I thought it was common knowledge that financial trouble is a leading cause of divorce in America. That should be another spinny.

 

[TamedTresses]

This was what I wanted to do. But I guess his mom had planned on passing down her ring from day one....even though it's about two sizes two big and can't be resized for fear of losing stones, and therefore I can't wear it We have matching wedding bands and that's all I wear.

eta: I fully appreciate her effort. Don't wanna come off ungrateful or anything

I sometimes use these ring bands (not sure of the name) if I wear a ring that is too big. Maybe they will work for you if you wanted to wear the ring every now and then.

 

[madamdot]

Before I got married I would have said no. But now I am other side I am kinda like - there are some nice rings on HSN and QVC in that range. Yup, I'm good. Let's use that money for something we REALLY want. And yes I know HSN and QVC is cheap.

BUT HAVING SAID THAT - I am talking about using the money he was going to spend on the ring for something else. If he really cannot afford anything but $100 this would be a serious issue. I mean anybody older than 18 should be able to afford something more than $100.

DH and I talked about the 3 month rule and what I would have done if he showed up with a ring that was 3 months salary? I would have been PISSED!

It cannot be silver because I dont wear it. I also don't care for genuine diamonds. I would prefer something with color.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

I sometimes use these ring bands (not sure of the name) if I wear a ring that is too big. Maybe they will work for you if you wanted to wear the ring every now and then.

I tried I wish I was home. I would take a picture of the ring so yall could see the ring guard and rubberbands. I'm a size 6 and she's a size 8 or 9. I do wear it every now and again like on our anniversary.

 

[madamdot]

I can't wear sterling silver cuz I'm allergic.

As much as I want a nice ring, I also thing there's something to be said for doing things in order. I'd much rather have an understated ring and some assets rather than a dope ring...and a lease.

My good friend - her man proposed to her with a very (half carat ring in 14K wg) simple ring and a bank statement showing that he had $35K that she didn't know about saved up for their first down payment. They bought their house together, he moved in first and at their wedding he gave her a box with a key-chain and her key to they house they bought. And three years later he upgraded her ring to a 2.5 carat stone. She wears the upgrade on her right hand, and cherishes the humble ring. (They're both black BTW)

I guess ... Come with sumthin...!

This is what I am talking about. I dont want to be wearing your savings account on my hand while we live in a hovel staving to death.

 

[TamedTresses]

This reminded me of that Walmart commercial (seen it yesterday) where a girl found a ring in her food at the dinnertable and start freaking out and screaming. It was a 1/10th carat ring (I think) and cost around a hundred... I told my bf that if he was that cheap I would say no.. haha.

Yeah, let's save the faux excitement for the WalMart commercials.

Oh, and while we are at it...please don't stick my ring in my dang food. I don't want to risk choking on it as I eat and I don't need food messing up my new ring! Please and thank you.

 

[bluediamond0829]

It would have to be a little more then $100 for me. But then again i want something nice but nothing to break the bank either...

Honestly I rather not spend all that type of money on a ring and wedding and I guess because I'm single and really really want to get married I would value the union and just everything else even more.

 

[Windsy]

Depends on the situation. I didn't get the ring of my dreams but I did get a ring, my credit cards cleared and a house. We had a small wedding with 10 guests and some people tried to make me feel bad. To me that was a worthwhile trade off and I have something to look forward too(upgrade).

My husband works hard to make sure things are taken care of. The point of a seriously expensive rig in the past was to give the woman some security if her husband died, left or whatever. In modern times it's mostly a trash talking point. I preferred having no credit card bills, no wedding debt and returning from my honeymoon in the Caribbean to turn the key on my single family house.

A girl I used to be friends with got the over the top engagement weekend with the 2 carat ring and huge wedding and now they are on the verge of divorce mostly because all they do is fight about the debt while living in their one bedroom apartment. He was a student like my husband and charged a ring to satisfy her.

Now if my husband were in his current career where he makes twice as much my expectations would be different. It's all about what your current situation is and your plans for the future. Sorry but this is a pet peeve of mi e. there are so many materialistic people out there unwilling to sacrifice gratification now for a better tomorrow then they are mad at what others are able to build. So glad many of you ladies seem flexible. *stepping down from soapbox*

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This is a lovely post and thanks for sharing.

The bolded got me thinking, I wonder how many people can't envision a better tomorrow with their husband?

 

[madamdot]

This is a lovely post and thanks for sharing.

The bolded got me thinking, I wonder how many people can't envision a better tomorrow with their husband?

I think most people can envision it, but they don't plan properly for it and want everything all at once.

Also, I think it is easy to get caught up in what society says you are suppose to have instead of focusing on what we really want or what really makes up happy. I find that this is one of the most difficult thing for people to figure out because there is no much outside noise in our lives.

 

[Renewed1]

I can respect the bold. I'm willing to take a "lesser" ring or no ring....FOR A HOUSE!

I want to experience the whole engagement/wedding day excitement. Do I have a dream ring? Of course I do. But the reality of it is, I rather have very little bills and a house after I say "I do."

I know someone whose fiancee bought her a VERY expensive engagement ring. He had trouble contributing to the wedding and for their very first APARTMENT together, because he spent most of his money on the ring.

He went broke on a ring and he didn't have a PLAN for AFTER the wedding.

I can't wear sterling silver cuz I'm allergic.

As much as I want a nice ring, I also thing there's something to be said for doing things in order. I'd much rather have an understated ring and some assets rather than a dope ring...and a lease.

My good friend - her man proposed to her with a very (half carat ring in 14K wg) simple ring and a bank statement showing that he had $35K that she didn't know about saved up for their first down payment. They bought their house together, he moved in first and at their wedding he gave her a box with a key-chain and her key to they house they bought. And three years later he upgraded her ring to a 2.5 carat stone. She wears the upgrade on her right hand, and cherishes the humble ring. (They're both black BTW)

I guess ... Come with sumthin...!

 

[moda]

moda you know you trying to raise some blood pressue with this thread don't you?



"sterling silver CZ" -

not even sure they make the combo What I was really getting at is the ring, size, clarity, cost etc.... that important? I know that there is a belief for some that the engagement ring is to be 3 months salary and I never understood that madness.

 

[madamdot]

I can respect the bold. I'm willing to take a "lesser" ring or no ring....FOR A HOUSE!

I want to experience the whole engagement/wedding day excitement. Do I have a dream ring? Of course I do. But the reality of it is, I rather have very little bills and a house after I say "I do."

I know someone whose fiancee bought her a VERY expensive engagement ring. He had trouble contributing to the wedding and for their very first APARTMENT together, because he spent most of his money on the ring.

He went broke on a ring and he didn't have a PLAN for AFTER the wedding.

See this would make me madder than heck. A man without a plan is a dangerous one: If he has money he will probably lose it and if he doesnt have any money he probably wont get any.

 

[lana]

I married my husband because I love him. I really didn't even LOOK at my ring when he popped the question. I was more dazzled by the love shining out of his eyes. That took my breath away.

He offered to upgrade my beautiful ring for one of our many anniversaries...he wants to upgrade a perfectly beautiful ring...it's the one that women stare at when they first meet me, the one that men stare at to try to size up DH...and I asked him NOT to do it.

I would rather keep things simple. As a result he spoils me like crazy, treats me like the lady I am and loves me to the tip of my toes...so, I would say NO a ring does not matter. Love does.


As a side note: I know a woman celebrating her 10+++ anniversary and she's ruining it for herself and her husband, she has a perfectly good ring and basically told him that he better come correct with a new platinum setting or else!!! But the cars are breaking down, the mortgage is due and they are in debt...Priorities people! I had to go after talking to her. I was like...why bother....I don't give advice to foolish people.

 

[Renewed1]

See this would make me madder than heck. A man without a plan is a dangerous one: If he has money he will probably lose it and if he doesnt have any money he probably wont get any.

madamdot the sad thing is because HE/THEY didn't have a plan. They argue about money, the future, etc. It's sad, I wonder if they are going to make it. They only been married for two years.

 

[snillohsss]

I say let the man get what he can afford. I got married very young, and the ring he proposed to me with was a cloudy 1/2 carat solitaire. I wore it proudly. After we were married he REALLY upgraded me after that....on both hands.

 

[SmileyNY]

Yea ok... You all can give the politically correct answer of you want. But since no one is givin out brownie points around here I'll keep it real.

Like most women, I know damn well that I'd feel some kind of way about a $100 engagement ring... Especially if he could afford a better one.

There's something special about a man saving three months salary for a ring. It says a lot that he's willing to make that sacrifice for your hand in marriage. Now... If 3 months of his salary is $100 then

At the end of the day, I guess it really is all about what you know. There are a lot of women walking around with fake diamonds & have no idea

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[MzLady78]

I say let the man get what he can afford. I got married very young, and the ring he proposed to me with was a cloudy 1/2 carat solitaire. I wore it proudly. After we were married he REALLY upgraded me after that....on both hands.

Yeah, but at least it was an actual diamond! I'll take a cloudy solitaire over a CZ any day!

 

[madamdot]

Yea ok... You all can give the politically correct answer of you want. But since no one is givin out brownie points around here I'll keep it real.

Like most women, I know damn well that I'd feel some kind of way about a $100 engagement ring... Especially if he could afford a better one.

There's something special about a man saving three months salary for a ring. It says a lot that he's willing to make that sacrifice for your hand in marriage. Now... If 3 months of his salary is $100 then

At the end of the day, I guess it really is all about what you know. There are a lot of women walking around with fake diamonds & have no idea

Sent from my iPhone.

This is grounds for divorce for me. If you are giving me a fake ring make sure I am OK with it. If I tell you I want a $20K ring and you cant afford it, let me know even if you think I am being unreasonable. How are you going to start married life with a big lie.

 

[Taleah2009]

So what is a good price for an engagement ring?

 

[caltron]

For me, it's not so much about the cost of the ring, but whether the guy has put enough money into it for me to show that he is serious. If a dude plops down a several hundred dollars on a ring, it shows that he is not just playing around.

If I were to get a $100 ring, I would be be concerned because it would make me question his commmitment, or his financial health. Even if you're broke you should be able to scrape up $100 and if you can't, you might want to wait a bit to get married.

I'm not really into jewelry, so I wouldn't really want a super expensive ring. I'm just as happy with a ring that is $1000 as I am with a ring that is $10K. I'd much rather get a nicer house.

not even sure they make the combo What I was really getting at is the ring, size, clarity, cost etc.... that important? I know that there is a belief for some that the engagement ring is to be 3 months salary and I never understood that madness.

Yeah, I think that three month rule is just some propoganda put out there by the diamond industry. I think very few men actually comply with it because it is a ridiculous standard.

 

[SmileyNY]

So what is a good price for an engagement ring?

For me, whatever 3 months salary is for him is ok with me... Whatever that buys, i would love it. But like I said before, $100 over 3 months isn't going to work


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[madamdot]

For me, whatever 3 months salary is for him is ok with me... Whatever that buys, i would love it. But like I said before, $100 over 3 months isn't going to work


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SmileyNY But this question is - 3 months salary before or after taxes? I mean that is a huge difference

 

[snillohsss]

Yeah, but at least it was an actual diamond! I'll take a cloudy solitaire over a CZ any day!

 

[moda]

So what is a good price for an engagement ring?

That depends on so much. For me it would be something he could afford to pay cash for without draining his savings.

My ring was 1 month's salary at the time and I still think he spent too much My ring's "status" is more important to my husband and I don't really care.

 

[Britt]

Now that I'm thinking about it, I would rather have a decent ring than huge wedding. At this point in my life, I could totally go to a Justice of the Peace and call it a day, or a small destination wedding.

Yep, same here! As much as I'd want a wedding as does my SO we'd really have to weigh the pros and cons of the cost of a wedding. Of course he's a guy, so he really has no clue. Before I even met my SO my mom and I figured it would be most cost effective for me to have a small destination wedding. I really just want something small and nice. However, I will say, I do want a decent/good ring... I already have a very reasonable idea of how much I'd expect my SO to spend on my ring . Given his expenses, my price point is very reasonable. Truthfully, if I had to choose between have a big 100+ party and a crappy looking ring, I'd take a nicer ring anyday hands down. That's just me tho. I'd be lying till i'm blue in the face saying I'd take any ring... nah, not at 30yrs old.

I never understood why people are willing to go into debt for a big ring and a fancy wedding. I thought it was common knowledge that financial trouble is a leading cause of divorce in America. That should be another spinny.

Yeppppppp, and this is # 1 reason why I don't want a big or costly wedding. I'd be just ok w/ a very small setting in a church and even an intimate friends and family dinner afterwards and then spend some $$ on our honeymoon and the remainder of the $ towards our house. I also would not want my SO to go into debt for my ring at all.

 

[Weezy Jefferson]

Yep. I don't value jewelry so I would prefer a $100 ring over a $10,000 one. That $10k could be spent on a trip or something else fun.

If it were cubic zirconia, though, of course I wouldn't turn his proposal down but we'd have to upgrade pretty soon (ASAP) to something else. I'd rather have no stone or a nontraditional (non-diamond) gemstone.

 

[SmileyNY]

SmileyNY But this question is - 3 months salary before or after taxes? I mean that is a huge difference

Lmao! Either is fine. Honestly, if we're talking real life, I wouldn't know anyway b/c I would never add it up. I'm not that serious about it... I just don't want a $100 ring


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