Special "friend"

Yeah, he was dumb as fluck but he was beautiful so I went against my principle of not hanging out dumb people. :lol: You would too :look:
 
Yes, I have. The sex was great, guaranteed orgasms everytime. But when I wanted and was ready for more in a relationship, I stop dealing with him and we went our seperate ways. We remained friends, with calls on each others birthday or well wishes during the holidays but I haven't spoken or seen him in person in years.
 
No, I got married too young. :look:

However, I'm noticing this happening more with divorced women my age. They've done the married/kids thing for years and in my friend's words "ain't tryin' to take care of a man. Bruh man betta just give me the goods and get the F out!" :lol:

She also said that she's focusing on getting her kids out of high school and into college. She is working on her career as well. I was surprised to hear this particular person say this, but I understand. Her emotions are being poured into her children/family/friends/career. She said there's nothing left for a real relationship.

Sent from my android tablet using LHCF App
 
sunnydaze said:
No..but I wish I did.

Also I fall in the category of woman looking for this and who is not shopping around for a husband :grin:
Click to expand...
Me too sunnydaze. :lachen:

Would be nice to have them both fwb/benefactor rolled into one. had one almost 2 years ago and it was a great arrangement. Lookin to relive old times with someone new:lick:.
 
sunnieb said:
No, I got married too young. :look:

However, I'm noticing this happening more with divorced women my age. They've done the married/kids thing for years and in my friend's words "ain't tryin' to take care of a man. Bruh man betta just give me the goods and get the F out!" :lol:

She also said that she's focusing on getting her kids out of high school and into college. She is working on her career as well. I was surprised to hear this particular person say this, but I understand. Her emotions are being poured into her children/family/friends/career. She said there's nothing left for a real relationship.

Sent from my android tablet using LHCF App
Click to expand...
This pretty much @sunnieb! I was married 20 years. I'm grown-be 40 next year. If I want a damn fwb, I can have one gotdammit! Am over all that needing a relationship business at least for the next couple years. I get your friend and am where she's at exactly, though my child is much younger in 1st grade. Pouring so much into her. A sometime companion would be lovely! :yep:
 
DarkJoy - I'm 40 and I ain't mad at cha! I get it.

What's funny is that when she made that revaluation, we became closer. I still can't believe "Ms. Uppity" is rollin' like that! :lachen:

Sent from my android tablet using LHCF App
 
Im not interested enough in sex for that, there has to be some benefit to me. More likely to just wait until Im ready to get intimate w/ someone Im dating.
 
Never have and am married now. If in the unfortunate event I should divorce, I would not want to date and be bothered, but a companion only of that capacity would be nice. But I probably couldn't do it, because those types are usually sharing your benefit with somebody else. I would have to have exclusiveness which is pointless in FWB right??? Yea I guess I am not cut out for it.
 
FemmeFatale said:
Lmao.. Do tell! How did you make him go away once you found the one?
Click to expand...

"Huh? It was never like that?" Haven't ya'll heard that from guys when you pressed for more? :giggle: Not you per se but women in general. That's the line I'd give them when they either got confused or wanted to be more than friends.

I've said this before but I'm emotionally detached enough, I can separate sex from love so I was never pressed about single/unattached sex. I don't regret it. I had a great dad. I had great self esteem. It was just about sex and it was no big deal to me:yep:. I know you virgin mary's, judging judy's and debbie downers all have only had sex with your DH or in super committed relationships so save all of that. I was in college for six years, that's all I can tell you, it got lonely.

ETA: I always had a friend when I was dating guys I really liked *shrugs* :look:Reason 2837272 if you don't think men put women in groups, they do. Just like we do. These guys were always in FB group, there was never a chance for them to be anymore than that.
 
I had one and that ish was emotionally draining. I don't think I'm cut out for fwb (darn Pisces moon), but I kinda wish I were b/c I could really use a good time right now
 
Zaynab said:
"Huh? It was never like that?" Haven't ya'll heard that from guys when you pressed for more? :giggle: Not you per se but women in general. That's the line I'd give them when they either got confused or wanted to be more than friends.

I've said this before but I'm emotionally detached enough, I can separate sex from love so I was never pressed about single/unattached sex. I don't regret it. I had a great dad. I had great self esteem. It was just about sex and it was no big deal to me:yep:. I know you virgin mary's, judging judy's and debbie downers all have only had sex with your DH or in super committed relationships so save all of that. I was in college for six years, that's all I can tell you, it got lonely.

ETA: I always had a friend when I was dating guys I really liked *shrugs* :look:Reason 2837272 if you don't think men put women in groups, they do. Just like we do. These guys were always in FB group, there was never a chance for them to be anymore than that.
Click to expand...

Zaynab
stone cold. :look::lachen:

your life mission is a test of dgaf. somebody musta forgot to add feelings when you were made jk :lachen:

in all seriousness, most women do not have your level of detachment and emotional self-absorption which is there are so many brokenhearted/disappointed women left picking up their pride ad hurt feelings after playing around with a **** buddy. Many women boast they can handle it but when reality hits all you see & hear is remorse & tears. :look:
 
I currently have one now...on a part time basis (like 2 - 3 times a year :giggle:)

It's crazy because it sort of developed by accident. One day he stopped over by my house to watch some movies and instead of kissing him on the cheek when I was greeting him, he turned his head quickly and I ended up kissing him on the lips by mistake! It wasn't a passionate kiss neither...it was a quick peck like one you give to your kid when they're about to head out to school or something.

We were both surprised it happened, but really didn't talk about the mistaken kiss....until about an hour or so later he repllied by swooping me up and giving me a passionate kiss of his own! After he kissed me, he looked deep into my eyes and whispered to me that he had wanted to kiss me like that for a long time. I thought to myself, "Danggit, ish done hit the fan!" :lachen:

it was all downhill (pun intended :lick:) after that day.

I knew him as a friend through my bf at the time and 6 years after me and my bf broke up, that's when our friendship turned from regular to beneficial. We were attracted to each other since the first time we met, but I never saw him in that way until after we went to my ex's father's funeral.

I saw a whole new side to him when we were theree. He was always the intellectual, witty, funny guy, goofball and the lush of our group. But he really showed that he was a more gentler, kinder soul than what he chooses to show to the general population. When the chips fall down, he's a person that is very loyal, understanding, kind hearted and loving.

My FWB was against us hooking up as well, but surprisingly, my ex is the one who felt that me and his friend would be good together.

In my heart, I feel that we wouldn't be able to make a true relationship work (too many differences), but we do have a certain chemistry about us intimately, which makes this arrangement ok in my book.

I know myself so in order not to become too attached and catch romantic feelings, I limit the amount of times that we actually engage in the benefit part of our friendship. We rarely hang out as well since that can also lead us to become too emotionally attached.
 
mallysmommy said:
had one but it got old really quick. i felt used and alone after it was over.
Click to expand...

Was it something that you sought out or did the guy suggest it?

Also were you dating (only dating) other men and going on about your life?
 
Zaynab said:
"Huh? It was never like that?" Haven't ya'll heard that from guys when you pressed for more? :giggle: Not you per se but women in general. That's the line I'd give them when they either got confused or wanted to be more than friends.

I've said this before but I'm emotionally detached enough, I can separate sex from love so I was never pressed about single/unattached sex. I don't regret it. I had a great dad. I had great self esteem. It was just about sex and it was no big deal to me:yep:. I know you virgin mary's, judging judy's and debbie downers all have only had sex with your DH or in super committed relationships so save all of that. I was in college for six years, that's all I can tell you, it got lonely.

ETA: I always had a friend when I was dating guys I really liked *shrugs* :look:Reason 2837272 if you don't think men put women in groups, they do. Just like we do. These guys were always in FB group, there was never a chance for them to be anymore than that.
Click to expand...

I was like this when I joined the board lol :giggle:

I now know FWB is great when you're in "that" frame of mind.:look:
 
barbiesocialite said:
Zaynab
stone cold. :look::lachen:

your life mission is a test of dgaf. somebody musta forgot to add feelings when you were made jk :lachen:

in all seriousness, most women do not have your level of detachment and emotional self-absorption which is there are so many brokenhearted/disappointed women left picking up their pride ad hurt feelings after playing around with a **** buddy. Many women boast they can handle it but when reality hits all you see & hear is remorse & tears. :look:
Click to expand...

:look: *kanye shrug*

Hey, I handled men like men handle us. Actually, it's why I know how men feel about feelings and all of this, they just wanna have fun, like chill out:lol: Being emotionally attached always made men try harder and I'm like "no see I"m good over here thanks". :look:

Being self absorbed really helps with self confidence if you really wanna know:grin:
 
barbiesocialite said:
in all seriousness, most women do not have your level of detachment and emotional self-absorption which is there are so many brokenhearted/disappointed women left picking up their pride ad hurt feelings after playing around with a **** buddy. Many women boast they can handle it but when reality hits all you see & hear is remorse & tears. :look:
Click to expand...

I believe it's a Cappy trait :lol: cos I also couldnt care less in that aspect HOWEVER I dont like FWBs cos it rarely comes with stuff..orgasm aint giving paying for shiny things. :look: you get more when you dont give it up cos they too busy hoping
 
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Yep. I dont any time for not relationship. I don't have time for the could-be drama attached to one. I don't have time to "figure" somebody out. I don't have time to stop flirting just because I have a "man" at home. I'm not thinking about marriage, kids or anything in that same boat. Excuse my french, but sometime I just want some D!CK.

My career is my main focus right now. I'm about to graduate soon and make a big move from the midwest to Cali. Men are an afterthought. Sex is not. :lol So yes I do have, ONE. Not two, three, four or eleventy. Just ONE. Just two consenting adults doing what we like to do. We both know what the deal is and we like it that way.
 
Random thought: I don't know about around here but I've met some folks IRL---juding judys and virgin marys or folks who say I've only been with this one guy or *gasp* no I haven't had a FB are currently also not in the type of relationship they want to be in. Alot of times, these folks and their virtuous ways are misplaced and misguided and it does the opposite of empowering them:yep: That's why I don't care. So you've been with one guy and you've got two OOW, Alright. *shrugs* OK.
 
Zaynab said:
:look: *kanye shrug*

Hey, I handled men like men handle us. Actually, it's why I know how men feel about feelings and all of this, they just wanna have fun, like chill out:lol: Being emotionally attached always made men try harder and I'm like "no see I"m good over here thanks". :look:

Being self absorbed really helps with self confidence if you really wanna know:grin:
Click to expand...


I def agree with the bolded. Ironically I think this is responsible for the opposite affect in me (sex that is). I don't have time for sex--particularly during pressing times when I'm immersed in goals/decisions. :look: 2 exes have covertly accused me of being intentionally withholding. Truth is, since sex isnt usually on my priority list I pretty much forgot all about them. :look: I had ish to do, life to figure out, I wasnt worried about them busting a nut. (Can't they do that themselves or get someone else to do it? just don't tell me or let me find out :look:)
 
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FelaShrine said:
I believe it's a Cappy trait :lol: cos I also couldnt care less in that aspect HOWEVER I dont like FWBs cos it rarely comes with stuff..orgasm aint giving paying for shiny things. :look: you get more when you dont give it up cos they too busy hoping
Click to expand...

Oh no, he's getting my new place painted and set up for me :look:
 
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