Spinoff: Marriage Tips

[Southernbella.]

I know! I read that with shame and got up and cleaned my house and redid my bun!

My dh knows me so well. I'll call him at about 4:30pm talking about, hey baby, where you at?

He'll just laugh and say, "Why? you need to clean up?"

That's why you can't make it a habit.

 

[breezy]

My dh knows me so well. I'll call him at about 4:30pm talking about, hey baby, where you at?

He'll just laugh and say, "Why? you need to clean up?"

That's why you can't make it a habit.

At least he thinks it's funny!

Oddly, even though the house is always clean when dh gets home, he doesn't really care. He comes home and asks me if there's anything that needs to be done, and he even offers to make dinner (though I always turn him down, he only makes friend chicken and prok chops, he's not gonna kill us!)

I think he's more concerned about my other wifely duties...centered in the...ahem... boudoir

 

[Southernbella.]

At least he thinks it's funny!

Oddly, even though the house is always clean when dh gets home, he doesn't really care. He comes home and asks me if there's anything that needs to be done, and he even offers to make dinner (though I always turn him down, he only makes friend chicken and prok chops, he's not gonna kill us!)

I think he's more concerned about my other wifely duties...centered in the...ahem... boudoir

Well, helping around the house is a surefire way to get some! Go Breezy's husband!

That should be number 1 on the husband's list (not that they make lists ).

 

[shahala]

Everything I can think of has already been posted.

The only thing I can add is to be a little vulnerable. Sometimes we as women are so strong, that we forget that a man needs to feel like he is needed and can take care of things.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Pay attention to how he treats waiters and such. A basic disposition to kindness, generosity and humility goes far.

Pay attention to how he treats people close to him (mother, brothers, sisters, friends, etc.) when angry. Does he go straight to yelling and saying hurtful things? And after the disagreement/tension is over, how does he act? Does he have a forgiving nature or does he hold grudges? This is how YOU can expect to be treated during/after a fight when the "honeymoon" is over.

Discuss things like family/financial values, and then pay attention. Do his actions now line up with what he says he wants/plans to do in the future?

eta: Mine are actually pre-marriage tips to help evaluate a potential mate. But I'll leave 'em here anyway.

 

[MizAvalon]

I know everyone are giving out marriage tips...Just thought I would post the following website (given to me by a friend)...I think the considerations can be used in whatever marriage....

Top Ten Considerations Before Marrying Cross Culturally

Thanks so much for posting this Amina. Lots of great tips there that should seriously be considered. If I ever marry, there is a very good chance that it will be cross culturally.

 

[AKA-Tude]

I know this will sound weird, but...

never let your child(ren) come btwn you & yr hubby.

Hopefully the 2 of you were a team b4 the kids came along, so always operate in that way.

Kids are with us for a season, but the relationship the 2 of you have is (supposed to be) forever. After the kids reek havoc on your lives (& luv 'em, but they will), all that's left is the 2 of you.

I think we lose sight of the only fact-
This person chose YOU out of all he could have (& vice versa). You have NO obligation (blood relation) to each other AT ALL!
But bcuz of the ATTRACTION, then the building of a relationship, the 2 of you WANT to be together- forever. That's POWERFULL!!!

Kids are a blessing, don't get me wrong, but if it weren't for HIM (& YOU) there would be NO KIDS!

Keep your hubbby FIRST (only second to GOD). The kids will be loved, taken care of- THAT'S A GIVEN. But if your only interest is in the kids, that will not keep your marriage together.

No one wants to be forgotten about.

(I hope ya'll understand what I'm saying.)

 

[SparklingFlame]

I didnt read thru all the posts yet but I'll say this for all the newlyweds:

The first 5 years are gonna be HELL!!!!!!!!! Sorry, thats a fact. If you can just hold on till after that, things will mellow out. After our 6th year anniversary, it was smooth sailing. *hold on....to your luuuuuv* (in my best En Vouge rendition voice).

 

[Mom23]

This is a great thread!!

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Did I say communicate? This has been key in my marriage. We talk about any and every thing and when a problem comes along, we are able to talk it out.

Stroke his ego. Men really enjoy this.

Alot of what I would say has already been said. Breezy you are on a roll.

**exits thread to go tell my hubby how much I love him**

 

[Recherché.Beauty]

I didnt read thru all the posts yet but I'll say this for all the newlyweds:

The first 5 years are gonna be HELL!!!!!!!!! Sorry, thats a fact. If you can just hold on till after that, things will mellow out. After our 6th year anniversary, it was smooth sailing. *hold on....to your luuuuuv* (in my best En Vouge rendition voice).

5 YEARS? WHAT? I thought it would be the first year was going to be hell.That's what I keep hearing.

 

[breezy]

I think the amount of time varies, but there will be a period of transition where both of you have to get used to living w/ each other, not being single, joining lives and families, etc.

But once that period is over it's great, trust me

 

[calliope]

I know this will sound weird, but...

never let your child(ren) come btwn you & yr hubby.

Hopefully the 2 of you were a team b4 the kids came along, so always operate in that way.

Kids are with us for a season, but the relationship the 2 of you have is (supposed to be) forever. After the kids reek havoc on your lives (& luv 'em, but they will), all that's left is the 2 of you.

I think we lose sight of the only fact-
This person chose YOU out of all he could have (& vice versa). You have NO obligation (blood relation) to each other AT ALL!
But bcuz of the ATTRACTION, then the building of a relationship, the 2 of you WANT to be together- forever. That's POWERFULL!!!

Kids are a blessing, don't get me wrong, but if it weren't for HIM (& YOU) there would be NO KIDS!

Keep your hubbby FIRST (only second to GOD). The kids will be loved, taken care of- THAT'S A GIVEN. But if your only interest is in the kids, that will not keep your marriage together.

No one wants to be forgotten about.

(I hope ya'll understand what I'm saying.)

This is so true- I've heard that the secret to a good marriage is :
1. God/faith
2. Husband
3. Children
4. Family, friends, etc
5.Work/ daily duties

Too many people want to put their kids first when they're just on loan to us from God- they will grow up and leave you and you'd better have a good relationship with that man that you're staring at in that empty house!

 

[MarieC]

1. Listen to his dreams and plans

2. Be supportive & work as a team

3. Rely on your husband, don't try to control everything yourself

4. Spend time alone

5. Keep up your appearance

6. Try some activities that he's interested in

7. Take time to actually LISTEN to what he has to say

 

[aquarian1252004]

Wow this is such a GREAT and CONVICTING thread and right on time too, since I'll be getting married next year. . .go on and speak the truth ladies! Like Vickid I really need to get delievered of my "only childisms" and learn to compromise and not be so damn stubborn always wanting things my way, Lord Jesus help me!

 

[PrissiSippi]

BUMP This thread back up. It was very helpful to me when I was getting married and I would still like to keep these tidbits in the back of my head.

 

[awhyley]

Dang, you dug deep! This thread is from 2006

(I almost choked up a little when I saw that Allandra posted in here.)

 

[PrissiSippi]

Dang, you dug deep! This thread is from 2006

(I almost choked up a little when I saw that Allandra posted in here.)

I was so sad when I saw Allandra posted. That death really hit me hard.

 

[Maracujá]

https://blacklove.com --> haven't really navigated the website, but I thought it would be fit for this thread.