Single male 45 no kids, never married

P

PrettyBrownEyes

Well-Known Member
Would you find it strange if a man was 45 never married and has no kids? He says he was engaged before but, it didn't work out. He does want to get married.

What are your thoughts?
 
Does he have a job? Educated? Is he attractive? How long ago was he engaged? How long did he date the girl?

45 and single isn't bad. People have different circumstances in life which lead them to being single but we need more info!
 
The fact that he has no kids is the only thing that surprises me.

I know guys from mid 30s to 45 who have no interest in getting married. I don't think anything about it.
 
no its not strange to me.
there are women that old who have no kids and never marry. So there can be men who are like that as well
 
No problem to me. Sounds like he's been responsible.

Acutally, I wish more men (and women) would resist getting married if they're not ready to make the commitment.
 
MzLady78 said:
Because I don't know any guys that old who don't.

IME, most men don't have that "I have to be married to have kids" mentality that a lot of women have.
Click to expand...
Yeah. I told dh, our getting together was a fluke. He was like the guy in the OP. It's a little unusual but I wouldn't be immediately write him off. I'd definitely want to find out what his story is.
 
Damned if you do and damned if you dont.

We turn up our noses if he had an ex-wife and/or multiple kids and then we get suspicious when he doesnt?

I'd be happy as hell If I was in his age bracket and found him. Clean slate. Women arent the only ones who can be single, 45, no kids and never married. The same judgement should be applied to women if we want to go there.
 
I wouldn't automatically label a guy like this as something negative, but I have to say based on the men I've come across in this demographic there have been some recurring themes. Either they were committed bachelors who wanted nothing to do with a married, family life (nothing wrong with that if you're upfront about it), emotionally damaged by a string of failed relationships, more committed to their work/professions and want to delay settling as long as possible (again nothing wrong as long as its undertsood w/ potential partners), or what i call "Peter Pans", where they are stuck in frat boy mode and just not emotionally developed enough to take on those kinds of committments. I'm sure this can apply to women as well but since men are the topic this is my .02
 
cocosweet said:
Yeah. I told dh, our getting together was a fluke. He was like the guy in the OP. It's a little unusual but I wouldn't be immediately write him off. I'd definitely want to find out what his story is.
Click to expand...

When I asked my 45 y/o friend about this, he said that at one point he did want to get married. But as he got older and it didn't happen, he lost the desire to. His son was born when he was 39, and since then, he's been all about raising him, doesn't even want a committed relationship.

I can understand because as I said in another thread, the longer I stay single, the less desire I have to get married. It wouldn't surprise me if I got to the point where I give up on the idea altogether.
 
MzLady78 said:
Because I don't know any guys that old who don't.

IME, most men don't have that "I have to be married to have kids" mentality that a lot of women have.
Click to expand...

That's too bad. More men should have the mentality that they should get married and then decide to have children.

Anyway, another poster said its great that he has clean slate. I agree. Maybe he's waiting for the right person. You can't put a time line on finding true love.
 
Here is where I'm going... or rather my thoughts. We met through the course of business and he expressed an interest in me. Now, I thought his status was great too upon hearing but, being the analytical person I am, I thought more about it.

The two male cousins I grew up with are both never married with no kids and they are 37 and 42 respectively. The 37 year old has been and still is in a long term relationship. The 42 year old has employment issues.

Me, well, I have two kids and have never been married...I am the last person to judge someone!

As I like to be honest and upfront with someone. I told him immediately that I have two kids. This may be an issue for him...he has that right/choice. I am just wondering if perhaps with this he is looking for a perfect woman thus the fact, why he has never been married. I know I may be off based, just a thought. I think he may have created an idea of me before actually talking to me outside of business that is not necessarily true. I'll see if I hear from him...

Oh and when I told him I have two kids, he said I look like a kid myself (I hear this all the time, I'm 36). I think he thought I was a young single woman just out of college, I've been asked that before in my business environment.
 
I think it depends on the person. But all the guys I know like that jump from relationship to relationship. Meaning there is a good and obvious reason why they are single, the friends and family probably know the deal. It may not be bad, but I would definitely be doing some investigations.
 
Where I live a 45 y/o bachelor without children is not something that is unusual so it wouldn't be any surprise to me.
 
I wouldn't call it "strange", but since most of the people I know who've seen 45 have not done so without at least one marriage under their belt and at least one child, it would definitely be unexpected. That having been said, I don't think you should assume anything positive or negative about it because he's the only one that can give that type of insight into his situation.
 
Unfortunately in this society it seems to be considered more normal to be divorced than never married at 45. For a single 45-year-old man it's probably considered more normal for him to have kids he sees on the weekends than to have no kids.

Maybe this guy has dated women with kids before. Maybe the kids were your kids' age. Or maybe he hasn't but he's willing to.
 
LadyChe said:
No problem to me. Sounds like he's been responsible.

Acutally, I wish more men (and women) would resist getting married if they're not ready to make the commitment.
Click to expand...

I know a couple men like that ,one is most likely in the closet ,the other 2 commitment phobes and defenetley Not gay.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Lilakoi’s_Sister
44 year old man, never married no kids?!
2
Replies
32
Views
976
locabouthair
L
chocolat79
Why does it seem to take a lot of American Black men longer to get married?
5 6 7
Replies
201
Views
5K
Bun Mistress
Bun Mistress
**SaSSy**
Experiences Dating A Single Man (never Married) And A Divorced Man
Replies
10
Views
482
DarkJoy
DarkJoy
L
Married ladies - IF you were single how would you meet Mr. Right?
3 4 5
Replies
132
Views
7K
lana
L
Country gal
Why Do You Want to Get Married?????
2
Replies
30
Views
762
cocoberry10
cocoberry10
Back
Top