NinasLongAmbition
Well-Known Member
Do I get approached by men? Yes I do.
Single And Frustrated
- Thread starter NinasLongAmbition
- Start date
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
The way to get better at dating is to actually date. You really dont know how well you will jive with a guy unless you've dated enough of a range to know. You also learn who you are and what you need from actual dating. You cannot operate on hypothetical deal breakers. It will keep you single. There is no way around it unless you want an arranged marriage. Also we women are the prize right? Alot of women actually make out to be shitty dates because they dont know how to conduct themselves on dates. Again, this takes practice. Its funny because i was gonna say exactly what barbie said, but then erased it. Yeah, you need to rack up some social points. Get out there and do the damned thing.
Eta: dating is also supposed to be fun.
Eta: dating is also supposed to be fun.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
I imagine we're sims when I'm on dates, with the 'plus/minus' signs above our heads during interactions lol
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
NinasLongAmbition
Well-Known Member
I agree, it's just my lack of experience that keeps me trapped. I feel as though since I've been single for my whole life I'm like becoming comfortable with the idea of possibly being alone forever. That thought alone scares me and is why I'm talking to you ladies. I really want to make some changes, I normally don't post anything personal.
I appreciate all the advice.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
The guys that your friends have suggested are a good start. This is because there is rapport. They've already been vetted. As a virgin who has not dated, meeting men right off the street or from the innanetz would be like throwing you to the wolves, seriously. If the option is still available, and those men your friends suggested are gentlemen, let them take you out. Consider it a 3 hour conversation
NinasLongAmbition
Well-Known Member
I'm not a virgin, I have been on dates before, just not many. I just want to get better at dating and become more approachableThe guys that your friends have suggested are a good start. This is because there is rapport. They've already been vetted. As a virgin who has not dated, meeting men right off the street or fromvthe innanetz would be like throwing you to the wolves, seriously. If the option is still available, and those men your friends suggested are gentlemen, let them take you out. Consider it a 3 hour conversation
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
this post was unnecessary.
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NinasLongAmbition
Well-Known Member
Damn girl tell me how you really feel...you are saying you cant do this or that but you are also saying you cant ******* get a guy to like you and be a boyfriend so to be perfectly honest hon, your idea of what you can and cannot do is BULL **** ok???????? you DONT ******* KNOW ****. YOU DONT KNOW ****.
and NO ONE is here for it at all. i say that with love.
alright? so **** this reply that you madeget a clue, ok???
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
My bad, I thought that post read that you are a virgin.
OK, then its you then
.You have to say yes more than you're saying no. What are you not liking about these guys? What are your expectations? Thats what you need to look at.
NinasLongAmbition
Well-Known Member
It's me for sure, I know that. I'm closed off....like one poster said subconsciously I guess I don't want someone. One guy in particular I connected with him on Okc, met him for a date he really liked me and wanted to go on more dates but I didn't like his cheap cologne and his man boobs (which were not visible on the picture). There was another guy I really really liked everything about him went out a couple times, he ended up having a longterm gf. Sh*t like that, just not good at this.My bad, I thought that post read that you are a virgin.
OK, then its you then
You have to say yes more than you're saying no. What are you not liking about these guys? What are your expectations? Thats what you need to look at.
Ivonnovi
Well-Known Member
@NinasLongAmbition , I'd like to invite you to peruse this thread:
https://www.longhaircareforum.com/threads/the-queens-code-by-alison-armstrong-bookclub.770059/
Perhaps the experiences & info shared will help you too, or perhaps you'd like to read the book.
https://www.longhaircareforum.com/threads/the-queens-code-by-alison-armstrong-bookclub.770059/
Perhaps the experiences & info shared will help you too, or perhaps you'd like to read the book.
NinasLongAmbition
Well-Known Member
It's normally me, I'm the problem. Guys normally want to see me again.....you know what I see exactly what my issue is. I'm picky and scared of being hurt or rejected. So it's like I 'x' myself out. ..I just want to tackle my issues and also learn to be more social so I can get more dates, like I said I'm unapproachable, I have resting 'b' face
NinasLongAmbition
Well-Known Member
I have received so much good advice , I'm going to just get out there and date and talk for fun. The problem with me being an introvert, is I hate small talk but I have to get over that and seem interested. Hopefully I can update this thread soon saying I found a boo!
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qchelle
Well-Known Member
@NinasLongAmbition
Hey I see you are a native Miami girl
I don't think your problem is that you are an introvert.
What are three things you like to do or brings you joy (see art museums, beaches, bike riding, photography, roller blading, movies, painting, etc.)
Do you have more than one social circle?
When I was having trouble dating I was always talking with girlfriends who were having trouble dating or knew very few guys. Now my social circle is much wider depending how I met them. So I have more of a range of men to actually meet and vet.
Are you comfortable seeing a matchmaker?
Are you still in school?
You say you are religious, does your church, synagogue, temple, or mosque have singles or young people events.
Hey I see you are a native Miami girl
I don't think your problem is that you are an introvert.
What are three things you like to do or brings you joy (see art museums, beaches, bike riding, photography, roller blading, movies, painting, etc.)
Do you have more than one social circle?
When I was having trouble dating I was always talking with girlfriends who were having trouble dating or knew very few guys. Now my social circle is much wider depending how I met them. So I have more of a range of men to actually meet and vet.
Are you comfortable seeing a matchmaker?
Are you still in school?
You say you are religious, does your church, synagogue, temple, or mosque have singles or young people events.
NinasLongAmbition
Well-Known Member
I don't have more than one social circle and that's the problem. I am open to seeing a matchmaker. I am still in school , I'm in my last semester of nursing school. I'm not that religious anymore I barely go to church. I don't like church people for the most part.@NinasLongAmbition
Hey I see you are a native Miami girl
I don't think your problem is that you are an introvert.
What are three things you like to do or brings you joy (see art museums, beaches, bike riding, photography, roller blading, movies, painting, etc.)
Do you have more than one social circle?
When I was having trouble dating I was always talking with girlfriends who were having trouble dating or knew very few guys. Now my social circle is much wider depending how I met them. So I have more of a range of men to actually meet and vet.
Are you comfortable seeing a matchmaker?
Are you still in school?
You say you are religious, does your church, synagogue, temple, or mosque have singles or young people events.
GraceJones
Well-Known Member
I have this problem too and I do internet dating. I think this might be a good idea. What do you guys think? Also, do you go to social events around your city? Like parties and stuff? The weather is getting warmer so you should look at meetup.com. There should be groups out there that will allow you to meet people that share hobbies.
Okay what do you enjoy doing when you are not in school?
Are you open to interracial dating?
Are there any guys you have met that you were attracted to looks/personality wise? What characteristics did you like about them?
Good that you are open to a matchmaker.
Please build your social circle ASAP.
nlamr2013
Well-Known Member
OK I have been lookin for this blog post from a few years ago
Try Journaling. On the blog personal excellence I like a lot of her tips for self discovery. My fave was an introspective Journaling exercise http://personalexcellence.co/blog/procrastination-part-5/
You can use it for self discovery. in general because I think you should definitely work on you before trying to jump into a relationship. You can start off with asking yourself why you feel scared of being hurt or rejected. and just keep asking yourself why and writing down what comes into your head. it wil seem strange at first but it always helps me work through things.
I also like the journal exercise where you just write down whatever pops into your head for 30 min-an hour. just write, dont stop yourself from writing certain things or censor yourself. then go back through what you wrote and again ask yourself why you thought certain things(especially negative) the whole site I enjoy though I'd check it out she also has a love series but I hadnt looked at it recently.
Also, I think it's OK to be selective. Try joining a meet up group in your area based on your interests ( a mixed one obvi) to get more comfortable being around people you don't know, especially men.
Build an outer circle more. if all your friends are single its not going to help you not be single. if that makes sense.
lavaflow99
In search of the next vacation
My goodness you sound like me. Capricorn checking in! I am a proud introvert who finds small talk painful. And was a late bloomer as well as I spent my early years working on my education and my career.
But great points were made about accepting dates even if there isn't an initial spark or interest. You want experience/practice dating? The only way to get it is to go out on dates! If he isn't creepy or a psychopath, why not? You will gradually learn what you like and fine tune your dating preferences. And it will also help with your confidence.
With all my dating experience over the past several years, I feel I have grown so much (in confidence, independence, etc) and can't tell me nothing now! LOL!
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
Edited because it is no longer needed. Saw posts after.
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luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
No. I just saw it so I am re editing. It's not like she put all the deets in the first postYall can't read
I'm in a similar position. I am also aware of what is holding me back .
But I agree with what others have said, you just need to get out there and date which is easier said than done. To help myself with this, I'm giving myself an ultimatum: if I don't start dating IRL by June 1st, I have to start seriously participating in online dating (which I hate).
I think once you get out there and get your feet wet, it won't be so hard anymore.
But I agree with what others have said, you just need to get out there and date which is easier said than done. To help myself with this, I'm giving myself an ultimatum: if I don't start dating IRL by June 1st, I have to start seriously participating in online dating (which I hate).
I think once you get out there and get your feet wet, it won't be so hard anymore.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
please ignore the posts I made. im sorry, op. I was being rude and took it out on you.
NinasLongAmbition
Well-Known Member
Apology accepted
**SaSSy**
3rd Big Chop on 7/18/2016
How offen?
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